(no subject)
k so yea its been a few days since i last posted. One, for because I was watching a movie last night and didn't have the time to come write which is no biggy. And I also didn't have a lucid dream where I could continue to talk with Jill.
But
The other night I did have a conversation with Jill. Seeing as how I now know most of the reasoning behind the dreams. I finished that last post with something about how I had a question for her. Well I did ask that question, and she answered me.
Since I know the fact of who Jill is, as my dream guide, is to help show me around my lucid dreams to help guide me in the waking life...I wanted more info on her.
My question was to what she was as a person. Seeing as how she had a lot of characteristics and such...the ability to make me feel the same way as to when I was with Kristin.
Jill took on the 'persona' of her. I asked her why she had chosen her as a persona, and not anyone else. Her response is 'you wouldn't think it felt right if i was someone else'
No Jill didn't look like her, let alone have the same voice or anything. Just her persona, a personality image. But the image of her love she gave me. How when she'd be in a loving mood, and would lower her voice to such a sweet tone, Jill captured that essence and portrayed that to me.
The playfulness Jill showed me when she first appeared in my dream, was Kristin's bubblyness(spelling? its not even a word oh well)
It just makes more sense now. Why I felt like I've known her for quite some time. How I have a love for her. How Jill portrays a love for me. It felt so familiar and now its so clear. Even when Jill lay on my chest and fell asleep, now I know why that felt so good, so right. Like thats how its supposed to be.
But what really got me by surprise, is what Kristin actually said to me earlier. We actually talked for a few hours.
She asked why she 'feels this way' when she talks to me. As if we are in like our own world.
Coincidence? Her telling me that, and Jill telling me that 'this is our place' like 5 nights ago? Really though. Think about it. Jill telling me that there is nobody around, period. It was just her and me. Our spot. The VERY SAME FUCKING 'WORLD' that kristin brought up. That when we talk its as if we are alone. Like nobody is out there, and nothing matters.
You can see how this shocked me when she said that to me. Like how in the hell could Jill portray such a place in my dream....and have her actually say those words that Kristin would say a week later? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that when I talk to her she still feels like its only us. I'm glad I can still let her know she has my undivided attention and that I truly care about everything she has to say, and do what I can to make her feel better from this side of the computer. Sure I wish I was there personally to comfort her and talk, and give her a nice hug as she told me she's been feeling depressed lately. I just can't get over this....lets break it down a little
I asked Jill a question on who she was. She told me her persona was that of Kristin. Then came the realization on how I felt all those feelings towards Jill were the same as that for Kristin. Why I felt comfortable in her presence, why she felt 'right' to hold. How I felt the passion in our kiss the same way when Kristin and I used to kiss. So Jill=Kristin.
But..Jill saying the same stuff before Kristin did. As my dream guide does she have the ability to foresee the future? Now I'm going through the dreams in my head to see what could possibly happen if that were the case, but I'm going to stop. I just can't get over what she said not but a few hours ago. What the friggin hell...
Another question I asked of Jill, was to remove her makeup. She told me she wasn't wearing any. So Jill is just naturally beautiful, just like kristin is. Why did I ask her to remove her makeup? Just to see who she really was.
I started to try and go more in-depth with her as to why she was taking on Kristin's persona. Of course she told me I wouldn't feel comfortable if she was someone else. Which would most likely be true. She told me as my guide she needs to have a connection with me in the 'waking' world. So by taking on that persona, she can get a connection with me, as she said theres a connection still between Kristin and I, which goes back to how kristin said when we talk its like its just us. In our own little world.
Kristin Dailey (11:32:43 PM): why do you make me feel different when we talk
Chris Kozma (11:32:49 PM): as in what way?
Kristin Dailey (11:32:58 PM): like
Kristin Dailey (11:33:06 PM): i am in a different world
Kristin Dailey (11:33:09 PM): umm
Kristin Dailey (11:33:11 PM): wait
Kristin Dailey (11:33:15 PM): i mean like
Chris Kozma (11:33:21 PM): like..
Kristin Dailey (11:33:29 PM): i feel like we are in another world
Kristin Dailey (11:33:36 PM): like its just u and me
Kristin Dailey (11:33:39 PM): talking
Kristin Dailey (11:33:46 PM): and u understand me
Kristin Dailey (11:33:49 PM): everything
Kristin Dailey (11:33:56 PM): even the bullshit
Kristin Dailey (11:33:57 PM): and
Kristin Dailey (11:34:03 PM): u wanna actually hear it
Chris Kozma (11:34:08 PM): i do want to hear it
Kristin Dailey (11:34:13 PM): not just be there cuz u have to
Kristin Dailey (11:34:21 PM): but because u want to
Chris Kozma (11:34:29 PM): well
Chris Kozma (11:34:33 PM): i'm smiling right now
Kristin Dailey (11:34:33 PM): now is that weird?
Chris Kozma (11:34:35 PM): pretty big
Chris Kozma (11:34:38 PM): no
Kristin Dailey (11:34:41 PM): yea
Chris Kozma (11:34:54 PM): what you just said to me
Chris Kozma (11:35:00 PM): made my dreams even more clear
Chris Kozma (11:35:04 PM): dreams are in my journal btw
Chris Kozma (11:35:13 PM): cuz
Chris Kozma (11:35:17 PM): theres this chick Jill
Chris Kozma (11:35:21 PM): and i was at this place
Chris Kozma (11:35:23 PM): and she was there
Kristin Dailey (11:35:26 PM): i wanna read your words
Chris Kozma (11:35:30 PM): and she told me it was 'our spot'
Chris Kozma (11:35:35 PM): so like, what you just said....
Chris Kozma (11:35:43 PM): as if you were Jill
...as if you were Jill...seriously....could Jill and Kristin actually the same presence? Seeing as how all this weird shit has been going down in my dreams, and then coming out when I'm NOT dreaming...I suppose anything is possible. Right? I mean look, I just posted a part of our convo, what she said...
Her 'another world' is Jills 'our spot'
But I honestly can't get over this. It's going to drive me up a wall. When I was there on the bench with Jill, we were talking...in our own little spot.
Then I talk to Kristin like a week later....and she felt that when we talk...its as if we are in another world.
So how can you really put two and two together here? Only thing I can see aside from Jill/Kristin somehow being the same being, is just..i don't freaking know! There has to be some actual connection between Jill and Kristin. There HAS to be. But what is this connection? I can try and look at it as if it was really Kristin in my dreams, but then everything would change. It would just be a dream of how I love being with her, how she makes me feel, more or less a dream about how I long for her touch yet again. But by it being Jill, how the dream REALLY is, it's just so..... unbelievable. Is Jill showing me shit from the future? This is just so freaking weird....I'm going to have to find some connection between the two, aside from Jill taking on her persona...
I'll lay in bed thinking of anything else Kristin might have mentioned or whatnot, and see if I can't remember if Jill had said the same thing. If so...then..I don't know anymore..
What's happening to me? What's going on? Why me of all people? Is there such a strong connection between Kristin and I that shit like this is possible? I'm going to bed, I have a lot to think about.
If Jill is in my dream tonight(since she wasn't last night) I'm going to see if I can't get her to explain this to me.
But
The other night I did have a conversation with Jill. Seeing as how I now know most of the reasoning behind the dreams. I finished that last post with something about how I had a question for her. Well I did ask that question, and she answered me.
Since I know the fact of who Jill is, as my dream guide, is to help show me around my lucid dreams to help guide me in the waking life...I wanted more info on her.
My question was to what she was as a person. Seeing as how she had a lot of characteristics and such...the ability to make me feel the same way as to when I was with Kristin.
Jill took on the 'persona' of her. I asked her why she had chosen her as a persona, and not anyone else. Her response is 'you wouldn't think it felt right if i was someone else'
No Jill didn't look like her, let alone have the same voice or anything. Just her persona, a personality image. But the image of her love she gave me. How when she'd be in a loving mood, and would lower her voice to such a sweet tone, Jill captured that essence and portrayed that to me.
The playfulness Jill showed me when she first appeared in my dream, was Kristin's bubblyness(spelling? its not even a word oh well)
It just makes more sense now. Why I felt like I've known her for quite some time. How I have a love for her. How Jill portrays a love for me. It felt so familiar and now its so clear. Even when Jill lay on my chest and fell asleep, now I know why that felt so good, so right. Like thats how its supposed to be.
But what really got me by surprise, is what Kristin actually said to me earlier. We actually talked for a few hours.
She asked why she 'feels this way' when she talks to me. As if we are in like our own world.
Coincidence? Her telling me that, and Jill telling me that 'this is our place' like 5 nights ago? Really though. Think about it. Jill telling me that there is nobody around, period. It was just her and me. Our spot. The VERY SAME FUCKING 'WORLD' that kristin brought up. That when we talk its as if we are alone. Like nobody is out there, and nothing matters.
You can see how this shocked me when she said that to me. Like how in the hell could Jill portray such a place in my dream....and have her actually say those words that Kristin would say a week later? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that when I talk to her she still feels like its only us. I'm glad I can still let her know she has my undivided attention and that I truly care about everything she has to say, and do what I can to make her feel better from this side of the computer. Sure I wish I was there personally to comfort her and talk, and give her a nice hug as she told me she's been feeling depressed lately. I just can't get over this....lets break it down a little
I asked Jill a question on who she was. She told me her persona was that of Kristin. Then came the realization on how I felt all those feelings towards Jill were the same as that for Kristin. Why I felt comfortable in her presence, why she felt 'right' to hold. How I felt the passion in our kiss the same way when Kristin and I used to kiss. So Jill=Kristin.
But..Jill saying the same stuff before Kristin did. As my dream guide does she have the ability to foresee the future? Now I'm going through the dreams in my head to see what could possibly happen if that were the case, but I'm going to stop. I just can't get over what she said not but a few hours ago. What the friggin hell...
Another question I asked of Jill, was to remove her makeup. She told me she wasn't wearing any. So Jill is just naturally beautiful, just like kristin is. Why did I ask her to remove her makeup? Just to see who she really was.
I started to try and go more in-depth with her as to why she was taking on Kristin's persona. Of course she told me I wouldn't feel comfortable if she was someone else. Which would most likely be true. She told me as my guide she needs to have a connection with me in the 'waking' world. So by taking on that persona, she can get a connection with me, as she said theres a connection still between Kristin and I, which goes back to how kristin said when we talk its like its just us. In our own little world.
Kristin Dailey (11:32:43 PM): why do you make me feel different when we talk
Chris Kozma (11:32:49 PM): as in what way?
Kristin Dailey (11:32:58 PM): like
Kristin Dailey (11:33:06 PM): i am in a different world
Kristin Dailey (11:33:09 PM): umm
Kristin Dailey (11:33:11 PM): wait
Kristin Dailey (11:33:15 PM): i mean like
Chris Kozma (11:33:21 PM): like..
Kristin Dailey (11:33:29 PM): i feel like we are in another world
Kristin Dailey (11:33:36 PM): like its just u and me
Kristin Dailey (11:33:39 PM): talking
Kristin Dailey (11:33:46 PM): and u understand me
Kristin Dailey (11:33:49 PM): everything
Kristin Dailey (11:33:56 PM): even the bullshit
Kristin Dailey (11:33:57 PM): and
Kristin Dailey (11:34:03 PM): u wanna actually hear it
Chris Kozma (11:34:08 PM): i do want to hear it
Kristin Dailey (11:34:13 PM): not just be there cuz u have to
Kristin Dailey (11:34:21 PM): but because u want to
Chris Kozma (11:34:29 PM): well
Chris Kozma (11:34:33 PM): i'm smiling right now
Kristin Dailey (11:34:33 PM): now is that weird?
Chris Kozma (11:34:35 PM): pretty big
Chris Kozma (11:34:38 PM): no
Kristin Dailey (11:34:41 PM): yea
Chris Kozma (11:34:54 PM): what you just said to me
Chris Kozma (11:35:00 PM): made my dreams even more clear
Chris Kozma (11:35:04 PM): dreams are in my journal btw
Chris Kozma (11:35:13 PM): cuz
Chris Kozma (11:35:17 PM): theres this chick Jill
Chris Kozma (11:35:21 PM): and i was at this place
Chris Kozma (11:35:23 PM): and she was there
Kristin Dailey (11:35:26 PM): i wanna read your words
Chris Kozma (11:35:30 PM): and she told me it was 'our spot'
Chris Kozma (11:35:35 PM): so like, what you just said....
Chris Kozma (11:35:43 PM): as if you were Jill
...as if you were Jill...seriously....could Jill and Kristin actually the same presence? Seeing as how all this weird shit has been going down in my dreams, and then coming out when I'm NOT dreaming...I suppose anything is possible. Right? I mean look, I just posted a part of our convo, what she said...
Her 'another world' is Jills 'our spot'
But I honestly can't get over this. It's going to drive me up a wall. When I was there on the bench with Jill, we were talking...in our own little spot.
Then I talk to Kristin like a week later....and she felt that when we talk...its as if we are in another world.
So how can you really put two and two together here? Only thing I can see aside from Jill/Kristin somehow being the same being, is just..i don't freaking know! There has to be some actual connection between Jill and Kristin. There HAS to be. But what is this connection? I can try and look at it as if it was really Kristin in my dreams, but then everything would change. It would just be a dream of how I love being with her, how she makes me feel, more or less a dream about how I long for her touch yet again. But by it being Jill, how the dream REALLY is, it's just so..... unbelievable. Is Jill showing me shit from the future? This is just so freaking weird....I'm going to have to find some connection between the two, aside from Jill taking on her persona...
I'll lay in bed thinking of anything else Kristin might have mentioned or whatnot, and see if I can't remember if Jill had said the same thing. If so...then..I don't know anymore..
What's happening to me? What's going on? Why me of all people? Is there such a strong connection between Kristin and I that shit like this is possible? I'm going to bed, I have a lot to think about.
If Jill is in my dream tonight(since she wasn't last night) I'm going to see if I can't get her to explain this to me.