[series] It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) [7/7]
Title: It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
Pairings: Mark/Youngjae, Jackson/JB
Rating: NC-17
Length: ~9k
Summary: After the outbreak, Youngjae was sure that he lost everything, his friends, his family, his former life. He was right, but he was also wrong. He's suffered loss yes, but he also ends up gaining as well.
A/N: Well, this has been one long ride, but it's finally over. I hope it leaves you satisfied.
part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six
“I still think this is a bad idea,” Youngjae shivers. His lips are too frozen to open fully and the chattering of his teeth garbles the words somewhat, but he’s been repeating the same thing for long enough for Jinyoung to understand what he means anyway.
“So you say, and yet you’ve insisted on following me this whole way,” Jinyoung scoffs over his shoulder.
“Well, it’s not like I could just let you go and walk into a death-trap all by yourself,” Youngjae frowns.
“For the last time, I’m just gonna see if the safe house is still overrun or not,” Jinyoung heaves a long suffering sigh. “It’s a simple reconnaissance mission. If it is overrun then there’s nothing that can be done about that, but if it’s not then there are supplies that we can salvage and every little bit helps-especially in the winter.”
“If you’re really just planning on looking then why keep it a secret from Jaebum?” Jinyoung gives him an incredulous look as Youngjae lengthens his strides to catch up to him. “Okay, I admit it, that was kind of a silly question,” Youngjae says a bit sheepishly.
That much Youngjae can understand. As far as everyone else is concerned the whole thing managed to work itself out with them finding the underground shelter, but five weeks later, the safe house is still a sore subject for Jaebum. Bringing it up again when there might not be anything good to report would do nothing but reopen the wound unnecessarily.
“But still, why try to go alone? We’re not supposed to go anywhere beyond the defences by ourselves. Plus, I never expected you of all people to want to go back there by yourself again.”
“Well, I’m not alone, now am I?” Jinyoung wraps an arm around Youngjae’s neck with a smile. “Us country boys need to stick together, yeah?” Jinyoung slips into satoori.
“Mokpo and Jinhae are on opposite sides of the country, what the hell do they have to do with each other?” Youngjae wraps his arm around Jinyoung’s waist as he throws his head back in a laugh, also slipping into his native dialect.
“Heads up, we’ve got a few friends coming to greet us,” Jinyoung gestures to the dead stumbling towards them.
The bad thing about it being so cold is that being bundled up layers restricts freedom of movement. The good thing about it being so cold is that it seems to slow down the dead as well. It makes Youngjae curious about their metabolism and how they function. Do they actually need to eat because of some base animalistic compulsion? If they do need to eat then how long can they go hungry? Can they starve? The only real way to know would be to keep one around as an experiment, but that’s not the type of thing Youngjae would want to do even if Jaebum would give him permission.
“You know, I was a bit surprised to see that Mark had given up his baseball bat to someone else, but I now see why. You’re really good with it,” Jinyoung comments after Youngjae quickly takes the four of them out.
“I wasn’t always,” Youngjae says as he gets rid of the half-frozen blood on the end of it with a swing. “I know you’ve had to get resourceful while you were travelling alone, but I still can’t believe you came out here armed with nothing but a trowel.”
“Jaebum would notice and ask questions if I tried to take the axe out, but not only can I hide a trowel on my person, it’s also very lightweight despite being quite sturdy,” Jinyoung holds it up proudly.
“You want to take that one on your right or should I?” Youngjae nods his head in the direction of the approaching dead.
“I’ve got it,” Jinyoung says as he jogs up to it, quickly swerving to the right and lunging. Jinyoung yanks the trowel out of its temple and it crumples motionlessly to the ground.
In addition to the five dead that they’ve just taken care of, Youngjae and Jinyoung have also had encounters a few scattered stragglers earlier on. The number of dead stumbling around seems to increases the closer they get to their destination, just like it did the last time. It also seems to take another three weeks to get there as the two of them trudge through the cold air, the dirty snow crunching beneath their feet as they go. By the time they finally get to the line of trees that make up the forest around the house, they crouch down, watching the dead stumble in the snow.
“You’ve got Yugyeom’s binoculars on you, right?” Jinyoung asks, his eyes on the woods.
“Yeah, right here,” Youngjae pulls them out of his bag and holds them up to his eyes. “It’s too far to really see anything from here.”
“So, we’re going to have to get closer,” Jinyoung frowns.
“That might not be such a good idea,” Youngjae says as he eyes the restless dead among the trees.
“It would be such a waste to come all this way and not even find out what we want to know,” Jinyoung clicks his tongue. “Let’s just move quickly and carefully, survey the field, and then head back.”
“Right,” Youngjae nods before he dashes off in a crouch, darting around trees and heading deeper into the woods.
There are a number of dead still lingering in the woods, but they’re so spread out that it isn’t too difficult for Youngjae and Jinyoung to either take care of them or avoid them as the two of them make their way to the edge of the field. The sound of their shoes crunching in the snow and the thud of the dead hitting the ground seemed to have alerted the rest of them in the woods because Youngjae notices a few more of them turning and ambling towards their direction. Lifting the binoculars to his eyes once more, Youngjae quickly looks over the field in front of him, the area around the safe house, the crest of the hill behind it, and what he can see of the woods on either side of it. He’s unsurprised but still a bit disappointed to find that his and Yugyeom’s fishing line trap has been breeched.
“Let me have a look. You start clearing a way back,” Jinyoung taps him on the shoulder. Youngjae hands him the binoculars and hefts his bat.
There are about six on his left and ten on his right hobbling over where the two of them are, but they’re far away enough that Youngjae decides to keep an eye on them as Jinyoung takes his turn with the binoculars. It wouldn’t be good to burn up his energy unnecessarily and get overheated when they still have a ways to go to get back.
“Alright, let’s go,” Jinyoung jumps to his feet and pockets the binoculars.
The two of them head off, dodging and weaving through the trees to avoid their moaning pursers. They make it back to the road without any trouble, but silently agree to keep up a quick jog both to prevent the dead from following them and to keep themselves warmed up and better ready to defend themselves.
“So, what do you think?” Jinyoung huffs as he wipes a bead of sweat off his forehead.
“Well, there were quite a lot of them still hanging around, but we might be able to handle it as a group, especially now that they get even slower in the cold. The prospect of that isn’t what’s got me concerned,” Youngjae says. Jinyoung gives him an encouraging nod. “What I don’t like is how we can’t know if any of them got inside the house and most of us haven’t even gone inside so we don’t know the layout,” Youngjae bites his lip.
“Fair enough,” Jinyoung hums.
“Plus, is the reward really worth the risk?”
“I think so. If we’re really diligent then we might be able to just about survive on what provisions we do have left, but I think it’s important to have a little bit more than you need when it comes to food in these conditions. It becomes especially important in the winter when we won’t even be able to get much hunting done until spring.”
“Yeah, I suppose I agree with that.”
“And even though we’ve all gotten used to being cold and sleeping on the floor, a couple of extra niceties can go a long way in keeping us from being miserable while we’re living on top of each other in our little underground space,” Jinyoung says reasonably.
“I have to say that my appreciation of our shelter has shot up since I’ve gone on this trek with you,” Youngjae chuckles as he rubs his hands together.
“And why should we deny the others a similar experience?” Jinyoung rests his hands on his hips with feigned indignance. A couple of ridiculous sounding huffs escape Youngjae as he tries to balance his need for oxygen to laugh louder and to keep up his jog.
“Alright, you’ve got me on board with this idea,” Youngjae coughs.
“So that’s a five to seven vote at least,” Jinyoung nods to himself.
“Huh, how so?” Youngjae frowns.
“There’s me and you, Mark will be in favour of it because you’re in favour of it, Jackson will insist we go tomorrow because he hates being idle, and he’ll nudge Jaebum into agreeing. That’s at least five in favour of it,” Jinyoung counts it off on his fingers. “Yugyeom is so moody these days that he could go either way and Bambam probably wouldn’t want to come along because it’s too cold,” Jinyoung whines in an impression of the younger boy’s voice.
“It is really cold though,” Youngjae winces as he rubs his hands together. He packed a pair of gloves before he left his and Jackson’s apartment in Seoul, but they’ve experienced considerable wear as they’ve been passed around among the seven of them and they weren’t exactly the most study pair of gloves to begin with.
“True, but I’m not gonna stop giving him crap for it,” Jinyoung shrugs offhandedly. Youngjae shakes his head with a chuckle.
By the time they get back to base the sun is hanging very low in the sky, the air’s temperature dropping even more. The two of them are greeted by a lone figure twitching and writhing on the sharp spikes of their defence system. A phantom ache runs through Youngjae’s hands every time he looks at them and is reminded of how much work went into making it-gathering the wood, getting them secured into the ground around the entrance to their shelter, sharpening the edges into points. With sunset quickly approaching, Youngjae figures everyone else is already inside and doubts that they’ll be resurfacing before sunrise, so he and Jinyoung set about killing it and moving it to the pile with the other dead and the refrigerator they took out to make space in the shelter.
“What are we going to do about those things in the long term? It’s too cold for them to rot now, but eventually spring and then summer will come and then we’re gonna have a problem,” Jinyoung brushes the dirt off his hands on his jeans.
“I think we should just burn them,” Youngjae says as he eases past the spikes and knocks on the spot where the hatch opens.
“I don’t care what we end up going with so long as I don’t have to dig any more holes,” Jinyoung grimaces.
“Where were you guys? You’ve been gone most of the day,” Yugyeom frowns as he peaks up through the now open hole.
“We’ll tell you in a minute,” Jinyoung gestures for him to go down the ladder.
The passage isn’t heated by anything but their breath and their bodies, but it feels like a sauna compared to outside. The relative warmth makes Youngjae and Jinyoung sigh in contentment once they get inside and close the hatch behind them. Bambam is huddled against a wall in the passageway with his blanket covering his lower body. He’s got the page of a book marked in his lap and waits for Yugyeom to rejoin him before he continues reading it. Through the open door to their shared living area Youngjae can see Mark and Jaebum having a quiet conversation on the sofa. It’s a Sunday-and Christmas too, apparently-and so Jackson is probably already lounging in bed. Jaebum looks up and beckons for Jinyoung and Youngjae to join him and Mark.
“Well, your message said you were going to hunt down some supplies, but you’re not carrying anything with you,” Youngjae suppresses the impulse to cover his body as Jaebum’s sharp eyes scan them. “The funny thing is you both look pretty tired and sweaty, so where were you today and what were you really doing?” Jaebum asks as he crosses his arms across his chest and leans back into the sofa.
“Simple reconnaissance,” Jinyoung answers. Jaebum narrows his eyes. “We went back to the safe house-” Jaebum sucks in a breath and blinks as if he’s been slapped, “Not inside mind you, we stayed as far away as possible and checked out the landscape with binoculars to see if the herd had scattered enough for us to go back and salvage anything from inside.”
“The good thing is that while there are still a bunch of the dead around, their numbers didn’t seem like too much for us to handle,” Youngjae speaks up.
“Youngjae and I chewed it over on the way back and we both agreed that it was worth a shot,” Jinyoung finishes.
“It doesn’t seem like a bad idea, Jaebum,” Mark lays a hand on Jaebum’s shoulder, drawing his attention. “At any rate, it couldn’t hurt to take a look. If we go and you think there’s too many of them for us to handle and that it’s too dangerous to risk, then we’ll come back. We wouldn’t be losing anything just to look and it could give us a chance to get some fresh air and stretch our legs. How’s that sound?”
“Ah, you make it sound so reasonable,” Jaebum sighs as he rests his head in his hand.
“Because it is,” Mark smiles cutely. Jaebum rolls his eyes but his lips are quirking upwards.
“Fine, we’ll take a look and maybe go in and scavenge,” Jaebum nods. “I doubt it even as I ask, but were there any signs that the dead had gotten inside?”
“None that I could see,” Youngjae shakes his head.
“Me either,” Jinyoung says.
“That doesn’t mean they haven’t though. If we do end up going inside, we’d have to be extra careful.” The three of them nod.
“Jaebum, you wouldn’t need all of us to go on this mission since some of us still don’t have proper weapons, right? Someone ought to stay behind and watch the shelter and make sure no-one else comes along and takes it, right?” Bambam peaks his head around the door. Jaebum gives him a withering glare. “I was just asking,” he holds his hands up defensively as retreats.
“When were you thinking of going?” Jaebum asks.
“Going where?” Jackson’s voice enters the room.
“Good timing, this concerns you as well,” Jaebum smiles indulgently as Jackson plops himself on the sofa between Mark and Jaebum and rests his head on Jaebum’s shoulder. “We’re going to go back to the safe house and see if we can salvage any supplies.”
“Oh, really?” Jackson lifts his head. “What are we looking to find?”
“Food is definitely our top priority, but we’ll look out for anything useful that we could carry back.”
“Even if we still have to sleep on the floor most nights, it would be nice to have a pillow,” Youngjae sighs wistfully.
“Will there be clothes in the safe house? And soap?” Bambam peaks his head around the door again.
“If you want something, you’re going to have to come and get it yourself,” Jaebum shrugs nonchalantly.
“Will they be there though? I don’t want to walk all that way for nothing,” Bambam pouts.
“I don’t know about clothes, but there should definitely be toiletries.”
“Ah, It’s been ages since I’ve had a good and proper wash,” Jinyoung moans as he runs a hand through his hair.
“I’d be glad if I could brush my teeth again,” Mark mumbles to himself. Youngjae’s lips quirk up as he briefly gets lost in the memory of the day they first met. Mark catches his eye and he grins as if he’s having the same thoughts.
“So, we leave first thing tomorrow then?” Jackson asks as he lays his head back on Jaebum’s shoulder.
“Looks so,” Jaebum nods.
“Great,” Jackson grins. “Jinyoung, Youngjae, hurry up and shower. Jaebum still needs to give me my Christmas present,” he winks up at Jaebum whose ears are rapidly turning red.
“Forget food, clean sheets are the top thing on my agenda. Hell, I’ll carry a cot back if I can just so I never have to use that bed ever again,” Jinyoung grumbles as he stalks off to the shower.
Although Younjae doesn’t feel quite as strongly as Jinyoung does about Jaebum and Jackson…being intimate, he does wish they would at least try to keep the noise level down. Some of his reasons probably differ from Jinyoung’s though. After a quick rinse with water that is freezing cold, Youngjae throws on his sleeping clothes and heads back to the living area. As is customary for him, he turns on the radio and searches through the different frequencies for any sign of life.
“Hear anything today?” Mark yawns slightly as he makes himself comfortable on the sofa.
“No, nothing yet,” Youngjae frowns as he fiddles with the dial, easing himself down on the floor in front of the sofa. “You know Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results; do you think that I’ve gone insane?” Youngjae blinks as a hand strokes the top of his head and he turns to face the other man.
“I think you’re hopeful, and that’s a good thing to be. I hope you never lose that,” Mark smiles softly. It’s been a few of months since he met Mark, but Youngjae’s heart skips a beat like it did the first time he saw that smile.
“It’s pretty easy to be hopeful with you right next to me,” Youngjae ducks his head bashfully, “I hope that never changes.”
Mark tilts his head up with two fingers and he leans down to press their lips together. Youngjae’s hand shyly comes up to curl around the nape of Mark’s neck, his fingers absently playing with the fine brown coloured hairs that are growing out there. Jinyoung choosing to sleep in the passageway with Yugyeom and Bambam leaves he and Mark technically alone in the living area, but Youngjae still can’t help but be acutely aware of the fact that they could be walked in on by five different people from two locations.
“Ahhh, Jae…”
Youngjae yanks his arm from around Mark’s neck and pulls away from his lips, trying but failing to suppress a shiver at the sight of the fine trail of saliva that extends between them.
“Uh, well, I’ve had a pretty long day running around with Jinyoung and we’ve got an even longer day tomorrow, so I’m gonna try and get some rest. Goodnight!” Youngjae turns on his side and flops onto the ground, his back to Mark. He clenches his eyes shut, hoping for sleep to take him quickly.
“Goodnight,” Mark’s soft voice drifts from behind him.
Youngjae can hear a bit of confusion and maybe even some disappointment in Mark’s tone, but he just can’t have this conversation right here and right now under the current circumstances. They’ll have the bedroom to themselves tomorrow; he’ll do it then. For now he throws an arm over his head, covering his ear in an attempt to block out the low moans coming from the next room.
The seven of them are greeted by dim light and bitter cold as they ascend the ladder the next morning. Youngjae is padded up with as many layers as he can wrap his body in without losing the ability to move his arms, but he still shivers as the chill seeps through the fabric and settles in his bones.
“Man, I really hope we find some warmer clothes there,” Bambam moans through chattering teeth.
“The sooner we get there is the sooner we can find out,” Jaebum says as he leads them out.
“Are you sure we shouldn’t leave someone behind to guard the shelter since the door only locks from the inside? We stumbled on it by accident, but the pile of bodies and defences around it make it stand out enough for someone passing by to want to investigate,” Yugyeom rubs his hands together.
“Who would we need to guard it against?” Jinyoung frowns.
“Surely we can’t be the only people left in the country.”
“I used to think so too, but now I have to wonder,” Mark mutters to himself.
Youngjae turns his head towards him in mild shock. Mark adopts a slightly abashed expression before he forces a smile to his face and shakes his head at Youngjae. That only makes Youngjae frown in concern.
“Is something wrong?” Youngjae asks in a low voice, stepping closer to Mark.
“Nothing serious, just winter blues,” Mark shrugs, his smile looking a bit less forced. Youngjae isn’t sure what to think. Now probably isn’t the time to get into it, so he just shifts his bat into his left hand and reaches out to hold Mark’s hand with his right. Mark gives his hand a gentle squeeze and his smile no longer looks strained.
“Heads up, I see two of them stumbling out of the trees on the left,” Jackson points out. Yugyeom steps forward, hefting the bat Jaebum gave him over his shoulder.
“Hold on, Yugyeom, I think Bambam should do it this time,” Jaebum lays a hand on the young man’s shoulder.
“Me?” Bambam just manages to keep the whine out of his voice, but he still makes a face.
“Yes, you. It’s been a while since you last took care of one and we don’t want you getting rusty, especially not today.” Bambam takes the bat from Yugyeom with a sigh before he heads off.
“Look at it this way, the exercise will warm you up a bit,” Jackson calls to his back. Bambam waves a hand without turning around.
Even with the cold slowing down the dead, it takes a little while for Bambam to bring the two of them down, his swings simply stunning instead of killing. Eventually, he hits them in the knees, knocking them down to the ground before he impales their heads with the end of the bat.
“Their skulls used to be so much easier to crack before, but now it’s like trying to break a rock with another rock,” Bambam pants as he heads back over to the group.
“Seems like the cold is a bit of a double-edged sword,” Jinyoung remarks as they continue on.
The field doesn’t look much different today than it did yesterday and it makes Youngjae wonder if the remaining dead are hanging around here because they have some kind of gut feeling that prey will come back, if the sight of a house stirs up faint memories of their past lives or if they just don’t have anywhere else to go.
“Okay, the herd seems to have thinned somewhat since we were last here, but still keep your guard up. This is especially important once we get inside,” Jaebum says as he leads them through the trees, stopping at the edge of the field.
“Jinyoung and Mark, you two start from the left. Youngjae and Jackson, you two start from the right. Yugyeom and Bambam will come with me and take the ones in the middle,” Jaebum gestures with his hands. “Let’s make sure we clear the field before we go inside the house. We don’t want any trouble when our bags and hands are full if we can avoid it.”
“Right,” Jackson nods.
“Alright, let’s go,” Jaebum moves forward, lifting the axe over his shoulder.
Before he heads off, Youngjae catches Mark’s eyes and tells him to be safe with his expression. Mark holds up Jaebum’s bat with a smile and he nods before he’s heading off with Jinyoung. Youngjae turns and jogs to catch up with Jackson.
“What, no parting kisses this time?” Jackson asks with a cheeky grin as Youngjae pulls up beside him. Youngjae only has enough time to sputter incoherently before the dead are right in front of them.
“I’ll stun then and you finish them off!” Youngjae calls out as pushes all other thoughts on his mind and pours all his focus into their mission.
“Right,” Jackson responds as he falls back so he’s just behind Youngjae.
Jackson’s still got his protective suit to guard against bites, but he’s been left with one of the trowels to defend himself with after his fencing sword broke three weeks ago, and he’s still not totally comfortable with it. Some of the dead go down with one hit from Youngjae’s bat, but Jackson takes care of the ones that don’t, holding them down and shoving the pointed end of the trowel through their temples with an enviable swiftness.
“Heads up, there’s some more coming from behind the safe house,” Jackson pulls the trowel from a smashed skull and uses it to point just in front of the hill.
“Let’s finish up here and go help out Jaebum,” Youngjae says before he runs at the last five or so dead in their area, swinging at their heads as he goes.
A quick glance behind him tells him that Jackson is quickly taking care of two that are still moving. Youngjae picks up his pace and heads out to the other side of the field where more dead are stumbling around, jumping over snow-covered lumps as he goes. Maybe it’s because he’s faced a much larger horde and lived to tell the tale or maybe it’s because he’s finally adapted to the new world, but Youngjae can’t find a shred of fear inside himself. He’s certainly aware that anything can happen and he’s not letting his guard down, but it’s been weeks since he has honestly thought he might die at their hands (and mouths).
“Ah, I really hope none of the dead got inside. I’m tired from the walk over here and all this stabbing,” Bambam groans as he follows behind Jaebum, jamming a thick, sharpened stick through the temples of the dead that the older man cuts down with his axe.
“You may be in luck, the door looked like it was closed when I passed it,” Jinyoung says as he finishes off the last of his targets.
“Even so, we don’t know if anything got inside, so don’t get too comfortable,” Jaebum says pointedly.
“Alright, let’s do this,” Jackson claps as he jogs back to the door to the safe house.
“I’ll go in first, Mark and Youngjae come in after and the rest of you follow,” Jaebum says as he turns the knob and pushes the door open.
Even though the sun hangs fairly high in the sky, the lack of windows and the layout of the house doesn’t allow too much light inside, and so Jaebum shines the penlight all around as he cautiously makes his way in and moves through the first floor. By the way the wood floors creak under their feet, Youngjae figures they should hear anything that tries to come for them long before they see it.
“The first floor is clear,” Jaebum says as he finishes checking the kitchen. “Doesn’t seem like anything’s got inside, but let’s still check upstairs.”
The second floor turns out to be just as empty as the first; nothing but dust has touched anything in the house in a long time. It’s good news for them in a way, but it’s also a reminder of the bleak fate of another shelter’s original owner.
“Let’s hurry up and get what we need,” Jaebum says, his voice sounding a bit rough. Jackson reaches out to squeeze his shoulder. Jaebum nods, accepting the comfort for a moment before he turns and heads back down the stairs. “I’m gonna go sweep the kitchen for food.” Jackson follows after him.
“Well, the rest of us should check the bedrooms for fresh clothes and linens,” Mark speaks up, gesturing with his head for them to get to it.
“I’m gonna go find the bathroom and look for shampoo, soap and toothpaste,” Yugyeom heads off, Bambam following him.
“Get some toilet paper while you’re there,” Mark calls out to them.
“Sure,” Yugyeom says with a wave of his hand. Youngjae waits for the two youngest to get out of earshot before he speaks.
“I know Jaebum is still upset about the way things have turned out, but what about you two? You knew the people who owned this place too, didn’t you?” Youngjae asks cautiously as he checks the wardrobe for warm clothes and something to sleep in.
“I only met Junho and Minjun a few times, Jinyoung and Jaebum are the ones who knew them for years,” Mark says as he strips the sheet off the bed and folds it up tightly. Youngjae looks at Jinyoung in question.
“It’s not that I’m not upset about not knowing what happened to them-why they didn’t come here when they said they would-but I guess I’m just built to focus more on the present and the future rather than the past. Looking back while trying to move forward will only make you trip or bump into things, you know?” he shrugs vaguely.
“And it would be so terribly unwise to dwell on maybes while we’re out on a mission, right?” Mark shoots Jinyoung a teasing smile.
“Practical to a fault, I am,” Jinyoung nods sagely.
“Are you guys still in the first bedroom?” Bambam’s voice comes from the hallway.
“Yeah, what did you two find in the bathroom?” Mark calls out.
“We found new soap and toothpaste. There are a couple toothbrushes but they seem to be used,” Yugyeom reports as he enters the room, his and Bambam’s bag a lot fuller than when they left.
“Are you really bothered by a thing like that?” Mark raises an eyebrow.
“Not anymore, which is why we bagged them,” Bambam shrugs.
“We also found a towel, shaving cream, and couple disposable razors,” Yugyeom says.
“Ah, my kingdom for a shave,” Jinyoung moans wistfully as he fingers the scruff on his lip and his chin.
“If you wanted it, then you should’ve claimed it,” Bambam sticks out his tongue.
“What do you children even need shaving cream for?” Jinyoung scoffs derisively.
“Alright, alright, enough of that. You can bicker over the spoils when we’re safely underground again,” Mark cuts in. “Youngjae, you finished with the wardrobe and the closet?”
“Yeah, I found a couple pairs of sweatpants and hoodies. No coats though.”
“That’s good still. I’ll go what I can find in the next one,” Jinyoung says as he heads out the room. Yugyeom and Bambam make faces at him as he passes by.
“You do that, I wanna see if I can find some thick socks in here,” Bambam says as he checks the drawers.
“I’m gonna head downstairs. Aside from food and clothes and linen, I want to see if there’s any miscellaneous things that we might find useful,” Youngjae says as he grabs a pillow and makes for the stairs. Mark follows him.
“Think we should take back a frying pan; maybe give it to Yugyeom or Bambam to use instead of that stick?” Mark grins as they take a look around the living room. Youngjae can’t hold back a laugh at the mental image.
“What’s so funny?” Jackson sticks his head out from the kitchen.
“Mark thinks we should arm Yugyeom and Bambam with a frying pan,” Youngjae chuckles.
“Like Wilma from the Flintstones?” Jackson bursts out laughing.
“Yes, exactly!” Mark grins wider. Youngjae doesn’t know what they’re referencing, but he laughs along with them anyway.
“I wouldn’t object to having something we could cook with so we could actually have something hot once in a while,” Jackson says as his laughter peters off.
“Me too, I’m gonna look around for matches and lighter fluid.”
“I already got it,” Jaebum says as he steps into the living room, adjusting the bag slung over his shoulder. “Are we just about done? I don’t want to hang around any longer than necessary.”
“We’re basically done here, I could go fetch the others if you want,” Mark offers.
“It’s alright I’ll do it,” Jaebum says as he makes his way up the stairs. About three minutes later, Jaebum descends the stairs, Jinyoung, Bambam and Yugyeom following behind him with sheets and pillows in their hands.
“I feel like there’s more stuff we could come back for,” Yugyeom says as they head out the front door and set out across the field again. “It’s really not that long a walk really for what we’re getting out of it.”
“What, like, tomorrow?” Jackson asks.
“Not necessarily, but some other day maybe?”
“We’ll see how it goes,” Jaebum says noncommittally.
In addition to their weariness from clearing the field, the extra weight of the things they’re carrying considerably slows their walk back to base. Although Jaebum never intended for them to stop to eat out on the road, the growling of their stomachs-not to mention Yugyeom and Bambam’s complaining-eventually gets to be too loud to ignore. By the time the pointed ends of the wooden spikes around their base comes into view, the sun is beginning to set on another day. They’re about a hundred meters away from the door when it happens.
“Hey, Youngjae, can I ask you for a second opinion?” Yugyeom nudges him in the side.
“What is it, Yugyeom?” Youngjae turns to him. Yugyeom points up in the sky while squinting.
“It’s kind of hard for me to see at this time of day and I left my binoculars behind. Could you tell me if that’s a bird or something? It’s been bugging me for a little while,” Yugyeom blinks hard and rubs his eyes. Youngjae follows his finger.
It’s far away enough in the air and the light from the sun is low enough for Youngjae not to recognise what it is at first. His immediate thought is that it is just a bird, but then it gradually draws closer and closer and it’s much too big to be a bird. It’s only when it gets close enough for him to hear the swishing of the blades that his brain finally understands what his eyes are seeing.
“It’s a helicopter,” Youngjae mutters to himself in disbelief. “There’s a helicopter in the sky!”
“No way,” Mark whispers, his eyes wide as he follows Youngjae’s finger.
“Is it from the military?” Jinyoung’s mouth hangs open.
“Who cares who owns it or where it came from?!” Jackson asks incredulously. “Hey! We’re over here! We’re right here!” Jackson jumps and waves his arms.
Their bags are all sent tumbling to the ground as everyone else joins in jumping up and down and shouting at the sky. Jaebum goes as far as to try to chase after it to attract attention, but their efforts are fruitless; the helicopter sails right over their heads and disappears into the horizon.
“Fuck!” Jaebum swears. Snow and bits of grass are sent flying off the toe of his shoe.
“I guess it’s just too dark for them to see us,” Mark sighs mournfully.
“If only we still had that signal flare,” Yugyeom wrings his hands.
“I can’t believe it,” Jinyoung breathes.
“I know, it was right there and then it flew off,” Jackson groans as he grabs at his hair.
“Yeah, but if it came by once who’s to say it won’t come again?” Jinyoung says.
“Or there might be another helicopter that will pass by,” Youngjae speaks up. “I’ve been regularly checking the radio and-the radio!” Youngjae breaks off his sentence as he sprints the rest of the way to their base. He all but flies down the ladder and into the living area, just barely managing to keep upright as he trips over his own feet in his haste.
“Do you hear anything on the radio?” Mark is not far behind him.
“Not just yet,” Youngjae pants as he changes the frequency.
“Wait, go back! I think I heard something,” Mark grabs his forearm. Youngjae obliges.
“…visibility fair… heading north northwest at…estimated arrival…copy…”
“Is that the helicopter pilot?” Jaebum skids to stop by Youngjae’s elbow.
“I think so. It might be.”
“And we can’t send out a message to tell him to come back for us?” Jaebum grabs fistfuls of his own hair. It’s a rhetorical question and the answer is pretty depressing, so nobody says anything in reply. “Shit,” Jaebum curses as he slams a fist against the wall.
“I still don’t think that that was our last hope of a rescue,” Jinyoung says as he drops his bag onto the floor. “We missed it this time, but now that we’re anticipating it, we can be ready for the next time.”
“You mean like, have someone posted up top as a lookout?” Jackson asks with furrowed brows.
“We could do that, but it might not be enough on its own. The silver lining of this situation is that I think we’ve found a better use for the dead than simply having them thrown into a heap,” Jinyoung says with a grin.
“I don’t follow,” Jackson shakes his head.
“We spell out a message with the bodies,” Jinyoung says as if it’s obvious.
“Ahhh, I see. That’s actually not a bad idea, Park Jinyoung,” Jackson says appreciatively.
“It would have to be pretty big to be seen from the sky,” Yugyeom murmurs. “Do we even have enough bodies to do that?”
“There’s a field full of dead that we could use if we run out,” Jinyoung points out.
“And go back and forth all that way carrying a freaking corpse over our shoulders? No way!” Bambam vehemently shakes his head.
“I agree with Bambam, that doesn’t seem very practical,” Mark speaks up. Bambam blinks in surprise before he flashes Mark a grin. “I think we should use what bodies we do have to make something eye-catching, if not a verbal message, and we set up wood to make a bonfire to attract attention in case we see another helicopter fly by.”
“Sounds good to me,” Jinyoung nods.
“Alright, sounds like a plan. Rest up tonight and prepare yourselves for an early start tomorrow morning,” Jaebum nods. “We’ve got wood to chop and bodies to move.”
Youngjae is the last one to take a shower that day. The water pouring out of the showerhead is as cold as ever, but having access to soap and shampoo and being able to truly scrub his body clean for the first time in weeks just about makes up for it. He ends up staying under the cold spray longer than he ever has before, just revelling in the feeling of being clean. Once he dries himself off and gets his sleeping clothes on he makes a mad dash through the dark to the bed-now covered with fresh sheets-and dives beneath the covers.
“Oh wow, your skin is freezing. I’m actually surprised that you haven’t turned into a human shaped block of ice considering how long you were in there,” Mark chuckles as he rubs the covers over Youngjae’s body, the friction providing a bit of much needed heat.
“Ahh, I’m so cold!” Youngjae wails through chattering teeth. The covers shift as Mark ducks fully underneath them and shuffles down the bed. Youngjae blinks as Mark tangles their legs together and takes Youngjae’s hands in his, rubbing them together.
“Is this better?” A tingling sensation runs through Youngjae’s hands as Mark breathes warm air onto them. It’s probably just the numbness from the cold fading, but the accompanying fluttering in his stomach indicates that’s not all it is.
“Yeah, thanks,” Youngjae mumbles.
Although they’ve slept spooned together over a dozen times, Youngjae has never felt more acutely aware of how close their bodies are than he has now. It’s too dark for Youngjae to see Mark’s face, but he can tell from the way the other man is slowly stroking his hands that he’s staring very intently at Youngjae.
“No problem,” Mark says softly. It’s a wonder that Youngjae can hear it over the thudding of his own heart. The motion of Mark stroking his hands slows down even more until it stops altogether. Youngjae isn’t exactly surprised by the feeling of lips covering his, but his eyes bug out of his head and his whole body goes tense when Mark slowly moves his thigh against Youngjae’s.
“Sorry,” Mark mutters as he pulls away.
“N-no, don’t, it’s not-” Youngjae bites his lip, cutting off his own sentence.
“I’m not sure I understand.” Youngjae can’t help but cringe at Mark’s wounded tone of voice. “Is there any…” For a long moment, Youngjae hears the sound of teeth clicking together after Mark trails off. Youngjae lets him collect his thoughts in silence. “Do you not feel comfortable with me?” Mark asks at last.
“I-No, of course I do,” Youngjae sputters incredulously. He doesn’t need to see Mark’s face to know the other man is giving him a doubtful look. “Really, I’m most comfortable when you’re near me,” Youngjae insists.
“Then why the-” Mark sucks in a breath and stiffens his body in an imitation of Youngjae’s reaction, “-just now?”
“It’s not that I don’t want to…get intimate, it’s just that I don’t really know what I’m doing,” Youngjae sighs, his eyes falling shut as embarrassment burns his face. “I had crushes when I was a kid, but they never really went anywhere because I was so awkward. After I got into high school I spent all my time studying to get a scholarship so I could go to university, and after I got into a university I spent all my time studying so that I could keep my scholarship.”
“So, you haven’t…”
“No,” Youngjae mumbles. There’s a long moment where neither of them say anything more, they just sit in silence listening to the other breath. Youngjae wishes he could see Mark’s face so he could have some kind of idea about how the other man is feeling at his revelation.
“Would it be-”
“Is that a-”
“Oh, sorry, you go first,” Mark says, moving their still joined hands towards Youngjae.
“No, no, I’d rather hear what you were saying before,” Youngjae shakes his head.
“I was just saying that there’s nothing wrong with being inexperienced and I don’t mind waiting until you’re more comfortable, but I’d take care of you if you’d like to try it.”
“I would,” Youngjae whispers.
“Tell me if you want to stop,” Mark says softly before he brings their lips together again.
It’s amazing how much less anxious Youngjae feels now that he’s got his not-so-dirty little secret off his chest. Sure, his lips are trembling slightly and his heart is thumping almost painfully in his chest, but that’s at least partially due to anticipation now.
Mark eases himself off the bed and moves so that he’s kneeling over Youngjae’s body, his wiry arms on either side of Youngjae’s head. A long moan escapes Youngjae’s lips as a warm hand slips past the waistband of his underwear and wraps around his hardening cock. Youngjae has just enough of his faculties left to be thankful that Mark has kept their lips pressed together, muffling and swallowing every little noise that forces its way up Youngjae’s throat.
Youngjae’s hands clench and unclench uselessly in the sheets as Mark’s hand grips him tighter and slightly speeds up its pace. It was already quite warm under the sheets, but now Youngjae feels like he’s burning up as heat builds in his lower abdomen and radiates to the rest of his body. He’s gotten himself off several times before, but it feels much more different and so much better when it’s someone else’s hands on him-when it’s Mark’s hands on him.
Youngjae’s body jerk up and his eyes fly open when Mark twists his wrist and flicks his thumb over the head of Youngjae’s cock. This close, Youngjae can just about make out the soft brown of Mark’s eyes, can see the focus and the intent and the love in them. Youngjae’s hands fist themselves in Mark’s shirt, desperately holding onto his shoulders as the heat in his body spikes and he’s carried over the edge with a long shudder. Mark pulls his lips away at last, leaving Youngjae free to pant and try to catch his breath.
“Wow,” Youngjae sighs in contentment as Mark wipes him down with a tissue.
“So, you enjoyed yourself?” Youngjae can hear the teasing smile in Mark’s voice.
“You know I did,” he chuckles slightly. “Um, do you want me to…” Youngjae makes a vague motion with his hand, belatedly realising that Mark can’t see it.
“Don’t feel obligated to do it,” Mark says, the bed dipping slightly on Youngjae’s left as Mark lies back down. Youngjae pouts before he rolls himself on top of Mark.
“I won’t be as good as you are, but I still want to try it,” he punctuates his statement with a roll of his hips.
“Okay,” Mark chuckles. Youngjae pouts again; he’s trying to be sexy, not funny.
He starts off with what he’s comfortable with-kissing. To his satisfaction, Mark’s laughter peters off once Youngjae slips his tongue past Mark’s lips. The next time he rolls his hips it’s a soft moan that passes Mark’s lips. Youngjae hasn’t quite gotten the hang of kissing and grinding at the same time, so he pulls his mouth off Mark’s.
“What are you doing?” Mark asks in a breathy voice when Youngjae starts to shuffle down his body.
“Trying something,” Youngjae bites his lip before he reaches into Mark’s pants and carefully wraps a hand around his cock.
“Oh!” Mark whisper shouts when Youngjae licks the head of his cock.
While he’s never done this before or had it done to him, Youngjae has a basic idea of how this goes, so he wraps his lips around the head and sucks it into his mouth. The smell, taste and feel of it aren’t like anything he’s ever experienced before, but it’s the pleasant fluttering feeling in his gut when Mark’s thighs tremble that really has him shocked. Youngjae sucks as hard as he can-being mindful of his teeth-and the feeling only intensifies as Mark struggles to suppress his moans.
He can’t take too much of the shaft into his mouth before he starts to gag, so he focuses on sucking on the head while his hand moves up and down the rest of the shaft. It makes Youngjae feel self-conscious and anxious about whether he’s doing a good job, but he relaxes a bit when he hears Mark’s breathing rate speed up. When his cheeks start to hurt from sucking and his hands tire, Youngjae pulls his mouth off Mark’s cock and licks it from base to tip. Maybe there’s a technique to it that he doesn’t know because it’s not long before the muscles in his neck ache as well.
“Are you okay? Do you want to stop?” Mark pants when Youngjae pauses to massage his neck.
“No, no, I just got a bit tired,” Youngjae shakes his dismissively.
“It’s not a problem for me to finish myself off, you know,” Mark offers.
“I said I want to do it,” Youngjae frowns determinedly.
He puts an end to the conversation when he puts his mouth on Mark’s cock and sucks harder than ever. He musters up all his energy and channels it into working his hand up and down Mark’s shaft. His hand feels like it’s about to fall off his wrist when Mark finally comes, but it’s worth the accomplished feeling he gets as Mark shudders beneath him.
Some of Mark’s come goes shooting right down his throat, but the rest he just manages to catch in his mouth. For a few seconds, he debates with himself about what to do with it before a wad of tissue is held to his lips. After he’s done Youngjae rolls his tongue around in his mouth; Mark’s taste still lingers on it.
“So, you enjoyed yourself?” Youngjae shuffles up and rest his head on Mark’s chest, Mark’s arms wrapping around him and holding him there.
“Yeah, I did,” Mark tweaks his nose with a chuckle.
For a long moment the two of them just lie like that. Youngjae’s body is tired from the trip to the safe house and his mind is still a bit hazy from orgasm, but he doesn’t fall asleep. Mark’s still awake too judging by his breathing and the slight movements of his fingers on Youngjae’s back.
“Do you think the world can go back to the way it was before?” Youngjae mumbles into Mark’s chest. His head lifts and lowers as Mark takes a deep breath.
“Maybe not exactly the way it was before, but better than how it is now,” Mark says softly.
“The helicopter that flew by today looked like the ones used by the military. Do you think that means there’s still a government out there somewhere?” There’s no chance that Mark knows anything more than he does, but Youngjae can’t stop himself from asking.
“I think so. If government heads have contingency plans for things like nuclear warfare and if ordinary people like you and me can find a way to survive, then they should have been able to as well,” Mark says confidently.
“I wonder where the helicopter was going to, where it was flying from, if there’s a colony with other survivors.”
“It’s almost a shame that we’re going to have to leave this place behind just when we’ve made it ours,” Mark says with a wistful sigh. Youngjae shifts his head so that he’s staring into Mark’s eyes.
“There’s nothing we have here that we can’t have somewhere else,” he says seriously, lowering his head to plant a kiss on Mark’s lips. Youngjae can feel the man smile.
“Right,” Mark says with a smile in his voice, his arms holding Youngjae tighter.
Fittingly enough, it’s New Year’s Day when the next helicopter passes by and this time they’re ready for it. They’ve got all the bodies of the dead and the refrigerator they dumped arranged to form the word ‘Hey’ from an aerial view. While Youngjae drops the binoculars and runs to throw open the hatch and call everyone up, Mark gets the fire going. While Youngjae dumps even more of the lighter fluid onto the fire and Jinyoung fans it with a blanket, the others spread out on the ground and shout at the helicopter in the sky.
“Hey, don’t just fly past us this time!” Bambam yells as he jumps and waves his arms in the air while Yugyeom blows at his whistle until he’s red in the face.
They carry on like that for about a minute and the helicopter continues on its way. Youngjae feels a chill run through him even as the side of his body is bathed in heat. Was the fire not big enough or smoky enough to attract the helicopter’s attention? Did they wait too long to get it lit? Was their message too small to be seen from that high up in the sky?
“Wait a minute, I think it’s…It is! It’s turning back!” Jackson exclaims.
Sure enough the helicopter is making a wide arc in the sky, turning around until it’s almost right above them. Even though they seem to have gotten their attention, Mark and Youngjae still can’t stop themselves from feeding the fire. Bambam and Jackson are jumping and waving harder than ever as Jinyoung cheers and claps with the corners of his eyes crinkling. Yugyeom barely has enough breath to catch to make any real noise with his whistle, but he keeps at it as the helicopter hovers before it begins its slow descent from the sky.
As it makes its way to the ground in front of them, Youngjae takes a moment to look at the six other men in his company. Jaebum is crouching in the snow, his face buried in Jackson’s neck and his shoulders shaking as Jackson rubs his back. Jinyoung is standing over them, stroking Jaebum’s hair and muttering reassurances to him. Bambam and Yugyeom nearly trip over their feet as they jump up and down and hoot at the sky with their arms wrapped around each other. His heart breaks a bit when he finds Mark sniffling into a hand with tears in his eyes. Youngjae hugs him from behind before he turns the other man around and kisses the tears off his cheeks.
“No matter what happens from now, we’ll be fine because we have each other, right?” Youngjae wipes a tear from the corner of Mark’s eye. Mark blinks back the rest of his tears and looks around at everyone else.
“Right,” Mark nods with a grin.
Youngjae holds out his hand and Mark laces their fingers together. The helicopter lands.
~fin~
Pairings: Mark/Youngjae, Jackson/JB
Rating: NC-17
Length: ~9k
Summary: After the outbreak, Youngjae was sure that he lost everything, his friends, his family, his former life. He was right, but he was also wrong. He's suffered loss yes, but he also ends up gaining as well.
A/N: Well, this has been one long ride, but it's finally over. I hope it leaves you satisfied.
part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six
“I still think this is a bad idea,” Youngjae shivers. His lips are too frozen to open fully and the chattering of his teeth garbles the words somewhat, but he’s been repeating the same thing for long enough for Jinyoung to understand what he means anyway.
“So you say, and yet you’ve insisted on following me this whole way,” Jinyoung scoffs over his shoulder.
“Well, it’s not like I could just let you go and walk into a death-trap all by yourself,” Youngjae frowns.
“For the last time, I’m just gonna see if the safe house is still overrun or not,” Jinyoung heaves a long suffering sigh. “It’s a simple reconnaissance mission. If it is overrun then there’s nothing that can be done about that, but if it’s not then there are supplies that we can salvage and every little bit helps-especially in the winter.”
“If you’re really just planning on looking then why keep it a secret from Jaebum?” Jinyoung gives him an incredulous look as Youngjae lengthens his strides to catch up to him. “Okay, I admit it, that was kind of a silly question,” Youngjae says a bit sheepishly.
That much Youngjae can understand. As far as everyone else is concerned the whole thing managed to work itself out with them finding the underground shelter, but five weeks later, the safe house is still a sore subject for Jaebum. Bringing it up again when there might not be anything good to report would do nothing but reopen the wound unnecessarily.
“But still, why try to go alone? We’re not supposed to go anywhere beyond the defences by ourselves. Plus, I never expected you of all people to want to go back there by yourself again.”
“Well, I’m not alone, now am I?” Jinyoung wraps an arm around Youngjae’s neck with a smile. “Us country boys need to stick together, yeah?” Jinyoung slips into satoori.
“Mokpo and Jinhae are on opposite sides of the country, what the hell do they have to do with each other?” Youngjae wraps his arm around Jinyoung’s waist as he throws his head back in a laugh, also slipping into his native dialect.
“Heads up, we’ve got a few friends coming to greet us,” Jinyoung gestures to the dead stumbling towards them.
The bad thing about it being so cold is that being bundled up layers restricts freedom of movement. The good thing about it being so cold is that it seems to slow down the dead as well. It makes Youngjae curious about their metabolism and how they function. Do they actually need to eat because of some base animalistic compulsion? If they do need to eat then how long can they go hungry? Can they starve? The only real way to know would be to keep one around as an experiment, but that’s not the type of thing Youngjae would want to do even if Jaebum would give him permission.
“You know, I was a bit surprised to see that Mark had given up his baseball bat to someone else, but I now see why. You’re really good with it,” Jinyoung comments after Youngjae quickly takes the four of them out.
“I wasn’t always,” Youngjae says as he gets rid of the half-frozen blood on the end of it with a swing. “I know you’ve had to get resourceful while you were travelling alone, but I still can’t believe you came out here armed with nothing but a trowel.”
“Jaebum would notice and ask questions if I tried to take the axe out, but not only can I hide a trowel on my person, it’s also very lightweight despite being quite sturdy,” Jinyoung holds it up proudly.
“You want to take that one on your right or should I?” Youngjae nods his head in the direction of the approaching dead.
“I’ve got it,” Jinyoung says as he jogs up to it, quickly swerving to the right and lunging. Jinyoung yanks the trowel out of its temple and it crumples motionlessly to the ground.
In addition to the five dead that they’ve just taken care of, Youngjae and Jinyoung have also had encounters a few scattered stragglers earlier on. The number of dead stumbling around seems to increases the closer they get to their destination, just like it did the last time. It also seems to take another three weeks to get there as the two of them trudge through the cold air, the dirty snow crunching beneath their feet as they go. By the time they finally get to the line of trees that make up the forest around the house, they crouch down, watching the dead stumble in the snow.
“You’ve got Yugyeom’s binoculars on you, right?” Jinyoung asks, his eyes on the woods.
“Yeah, right here,” Youngjae pulls them out of his bag and holds them up to his eyes. “It’s too far to really see anything from here.”
“So, we’re going to have to get closer,” Jinyoung frowns.
“That might not be such a good idea,” Youngjae says as he eyes the restless dead among the trees.
“It would be such a waste to come all this way and not even find out what we want to know,” Jinyoung clicks his tongue. “Let’s just move quickly and carefully, survey the field, and then head back.”
“Right,” Youngjae nods before he dashes off in a crouch, darting around trees and heading deeper into the woods.
There are a number of dead still lingering in the woods, but they’re so spread out that it isn’t too difficult for Youngjae and Jinyoung to either take care of them or avoid them as the two of them make their way to the edge of the field. The sound of their shoes crunching in the snow and the thud of the dead hitting the ground seemed to have alerted the rest of them in the woods because Youngjae notices a few more of them turning and ambling towards their direction. Lifting the binoculars to his eyes once more, Youngjae quickly looks over the field in front of him, the area around the safe house, the crest of the hill behind it, and what he can see of the woods on either side of it. He’s unsurprised but still a bit disappointed to find that his and Yugyeom’s fishing line trap has been breeched.
“Let me have a look. You start clearing a way back,” Jinyoung taps him on the shoulder. Youngjae hands him the binoculars and hefts his bat.
There are about six on his left and ten on his right hobbling over where the two of them are, but they’re far away enough that Youngjae decides to keep an eye on them as Jinyoung takes his turn with the binoculars. It wouldn’t be good to burn up his energy unnecessarily and get overheated when they still have a ways to go to get back.
“Alright, let’s go,” Jinyoung jumps to his feet and pockets the binoculars.
The two of them head off, dodging and weaving through the trees to avoid their moaning pursers. They make it back to the road without any trouble, but silently agree to keep up a quick jog both to prevent the dead from following them and to keep themselves warmed up and better ready to defend themselves.
“So, what do you think?” Jinyoung huffs as he wipes a bead of sweat off his forehead.
“Well, there were quite a lot of them still hanging around, but we might be able to handle it as a group, especially now that they get even slower in the cold. The prospect of that isn’t what’s got me concerned,” Youngjae says. Jinyoung gives him an encouraging nod. “What I don’t like is how we can’t know if any of them got inside the house and most of us haven’t even gone inside so we don’t know the layout,” Youngjae bites his lip.
“Fair enough,” Jinyoung hums.
“Plus, is the reward really worth the risk?”
“I think so. If we’re really diligent then we might be able to just about survive on what provisions we do have left, but I think it’s important to have a little bit more than you need when it comes to food in these conditions. It becomes especially important in the winter when we won’t even be able to get much hunting done until spring.”
“Yeah, I suppose I agree with that.”
“And even though we’ve all gotten used to being cold and sleeping on the floor, a couple of extra niceties can go a long way in keeping us from being miserable while we’re living on top of each other in our little underground space,” Jinyoung says reasonably.
“I have to say that my appreciation of our shelter has shot up since I’ve gone on this trek with you,” Youngjae chuckles as he rubs his hands together.
“And why should we deny the others a similar experience?” Jinyoung rests his hands on his hips with feigned indignance. A couple of ridiculous sounding huffs escape Youngjae as he tries to balance his need for oxygen to laugh louder and to keep up his jog.
“Alright, you’ve got me on board with this idea,” Youngjae coughs.
“So that’s a five to seven vote at least,” Jinyoung nods to himself.
“Huh, how so?” Youngjae frowns.
“There’s me and you, Mark will be in favour of it because you’re in favour of it, Jackson will insist we go tomorrow because he hates being idle, and he’ll nudge Jaebum into agreeing. That’s at least five in favour of it,” Jinyoung counts it off on his fingers. “Yugyeom is so moody these days that he could go either way and Bambam probably wouldn’t want to come along because it’s too cold,” Jinyoung whines in an impression of the younger boy’s voice.
“It is really cold though,” Youngjae winces as he rubs his hands together. He packed a pair of gloves before he left his and Jackson’s apartment in Seoul, but they’ve experienced considerable wear as they’ve been passed around among the seven of them and they weren’t exactly the most study pair of gloves to begin with.
“True, but I’m not gonna stop giving him crap for it,” Jinyoung shrugs offhandedly. Youngjae shakes his head with a chuckle.
By the time they get back to base the sun is hanging very low in the sky, the air’s temperature dropping even more. The two of them are greeted by a lone figure twitching and writhing on the sharp spikes of their defence system. A phantom ache runs through Youngjae’s hands every time he looks at them and is reminded of how much work went into making it-gathering the wood, getting them secured into the ground around the entrance to their shelter, sharpening the edges into points. With sunset quickly approaching, Youngjae figures everyone else is already inside and doubts that they’ll be resurfacing before sunrise, so he and Jinyoung set about killing it and moving it to the pile with the other dead and the refrigerator they took out to make space in the shelter.
“What are we going to do about those things in the long term? It’s too cold for them to rot now, but eventually spring and then summer will come and then we’re gonna have a problem,” Jinyoung brushes the dirt off his hands on his jeans.
“I think we should just burn them,” Youngjae says as he eases past the spikes and knocks on the spot where the hatch opens.
“I don’t care what we end up going with so long as I don’t have to dig any more holes,” Jinyoung grimaces.
“Where were you guys? You’ve been gone most of the day,” Yugyeom frowns as he peaks up through the now open hole.
“We’ll tell you in a minute,” Jinyoung gestures for him to go down the ladder.
The passage isn’t heated by anything but their breath and their bodies, but it feels like a sauna compared to outside. The relative warmth makes Youngjae and Jinyoung sigh in contentment once they get inside and close the hatch behind them. Bambam is huddled against a wall in the passageway with his blanket covering his lower body. He’s got the page of a book marked in his lap and waits for Yugyeom to rejoin him before he continues reading it. Through the open door to their shared living area Youngjae can see Mark and Jaebum having a quiet conversation on the sofa. It’s a Sunday-and Christmas too, apparently-and so Jackson is probably already lounging in bed. Jaebum looks up and beckons for Jinyoung and Youngjae to join him and Mark.
“Well, your message said you were going to hunt down some supplies, but you’re not carrying anything with you,” Youngjae suppresses the impulse to cover his body as Jaebum’s sharp eyes scan them. “The funny thing is you both look pretty tired and sweaty, so where were you today and what were you really doing?” Jaebum asks as he crosses his arms across his chest and leans back into the sofa.
“Simple reconnaissance,” Jinyoung answers. Jaebum narrows his eyes. “We went back to the safe house-” Jaebum sucks in a breath and blinks as if he’s been slapped, “Not inside mind you, we stayed as far away as possible and checked out the landscape with binoculars to see if the herd had scattered enough for us to go back and salvage anything from inside.”
“The good thing is that while there are still a bunch of the dead around, their numbers didn’t seem like too much for us to handle,” Youngjae speaks up.
“Youngjae and I chewed it over on the way back and we both agreed that it was worth a shot,” Jinyoung finishes.
“It doesn’t seem like a bad idea, Jaebum,” Mark lays a hand on Jaebum’s shoulder, drawing his attention. “At any rate, it couldn’t hurt to take a look. If we go and you think there’s too many of them for us to handle and that it’s too dangerous to risk, then we’ll come back. We wouldn’t be losing anything just to look and it could give us a chance to get some fresh air and stretch our legs. How’s that sound?”
“Ah, you make it sound so reasonable,” Jaebum sighs as he rests his head in his hand.
“Because it is,” Mark smiles cutely. Jaebum rolls his eyes but his lips are quirking upwards.
“Fine, we’ll take a look and maybe go in and scavenge,” Jaebum nods. “I doubt it even as I ask, but were there any signs that the dead had gotten inside?”
“None that I could see,” Youngjae shakes his head.
“Me either,” Jinyoung says.
“That doesn’t mean they haven’t though. If we do end up going inside, we’d have to be extra careful.” The three of them nod.
“Jaebum, you wouldn’t need all of us to go on this mission since some of us still don’t have proper weapons, right? Someone ought to stay behind and watch the shelter and make sure no-one else comes along and takes it, right?” Bambam peaks his head around the door. Jaebum gives him a withering glare. “I was just asking,” he holds his hands up defensively as retreats.
“When were you thinking of going?” Jaebum asks.
“Going where?” Jackson’s voice enters the room.
“Good timing, this concerns you as well,” Jaebum smiles indulgently as Jackson plops himself on the sofa between Mark and Jaebum and rests his head on Jaebum’s shoulder. “We’re going to go back to the safe house and see if we can salvage any supplies.”
“Oh, really?” Jackson lifts his head. “What are we looking to find?”
“Food is definitely our top priority, but we’ll look out for anything useful that we could carry back.”
“Even if we still have to sleep on the floor most nights, it would be nice to have a pillow,” Youngjae sighs wistfully.
“Will there be clothes in the safe house? And soap?” Bambam peaks his head around the door again.
“If you want something, you’re going to have to come and get it yourself,” Jaebum shrugs nonchalantly.
“Will they be there though? I don’t want to walk all that way for nothing,” Bambam pouts.
“I don’t know about clothes, but there should definitely be toiletries.”
“Ah, It’s been ages since I’ve had a good and proper wash,” Jinyoung moans as he runs a hand through his hair.
“I’d be glad if I could brush my teeth again,” Mark mumbles to himself. Youngjae’s lips quirk up as he briefly gets lost in the memory of the day they first met. Mark catches his eye and he grins as if he’s having the same thoughts.
“So, we leave first thing tomorrow then?” Jackson asks as he lays his head back on Jaebum’s shoulder.
“Looks so,” Jaebum nods.
“Great,” Jackson grins. “Jinyoung, Youngjae, hurry up and shower. Jaebum still needs to give me my Christmas present,” he winks up at Jaebum whose ears are rapidly turning red.
“Forget food, clean sheets are the top thing on my agenda. Hell, I’ll carry a cot back if I can just so I never have to use that bed ever again,” Jinyoung grumbles as he stalks off to the shower.
Although Younjae doesn’t feel quite as strongly as Jinyoung does about Jaebum and Jackson…being intimate, he does wish they would at least try to keep the noise level down. Some of his reasons probably differ from Jinyoung’s though. After a quick rinse with water that is freezing cold, Youngjae throws on his sleeping clothes and heads back to the living area. As is customary for him, he turns on the radio and searches through the different frequencies for any sign of life.
“Hear anything today?” Mark yawns slightly as he makes himself comfortable on the sofa.
“No, nothing yet,” Youngjae frowns as he fiddles with the dial, easing himself down on the floor in front of the sofa. “You know Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results; do you think that I’ve gone insane?” Youngjae blinks as a hand strokes the top of his head and he turns to face the other man.
“I think you’re hopeful, and that’s a good thing to be. I hope you never lose that,” Mark smiles softly. It’s been a few of months since he met Mark, but Youngjae’s heart skips a beat like it did the first time he saw that smile.
“It’s pretty easy to be hopeful with you right next to me,” Youngjae ducks his head bashfully, “I hope that never changes.”
Mark tilts his head up with two fingers and he leans down to press their lips together. Youngjae’s hand shyly comes up to curl around the nape of Mark’s neck, his fingers absently playing with the fine brown coloured hairs that are growing out there. Jinyoung choosing to sleep in the passageway with Yugyeom and Bambam leaves he and Mark technically alone in the living area, but Youngjae still can’t help but be acutely aware of the fact that they could be walked in on by five different people from two locations.
“Ahhh, Jae…”
Youngjae yanks his arm from around Mark’s neck and pulls away from his lips, trying but failing to suppress a shiver at the sight of the fine trail of saliva that extends between them.
“Uh, well, I’ve had a pretty long day running around with Jinyoung and we’ve got an even longer day tomorrow, so I’m gonna try and get some rest. Goodnight!” Youngjae turns on his side and flops onto the ground, his back to Mark. He clenches his eyes shut, hoping for sleep to take him quickly.
“Goodnight,” Mark’s soft voice drifts from behind him.
Youngjae can hear a bit of confusion and maybe even some disappointment in Mark’s tone, but he just can’t have this conversation right here and right now under the current circumstances. They’ll have the bedroom to themselves tomorrow; he’ll do it then. For now he throws an arm over his head, covering his ear in an attempt to block out the low moans coming from the next room.
The seven of them are greeted by dim light and bitter cold as they ascend the ladder the next morning. Youngjae is padded up with as many layers as he can wrap his body in without losing the ability to move his arms, but he still shivers as the chill seeps through the fabric and settles in his bones.
“Man, I really hope we find some warmer clothes there,” Bambam moans through chattering teeth.
“The sooner we get there is the sooner we can find out,” Jaebum says as he leads them out.
“Are you sure we shouldn’t leave someone behind to guard the shelter since the door only locks from the inside? We stumbled on it by accident, but the pile of bodies and defences around it make it stand out enough for someone passing by to want to investigate,” Yugyeom rubs his hands together.
“Who would we need to guard it against?” Jinyoung frowns.
“Surely we can’t be the only people left in the country.”
“I used to think so too, but now I have to wonder,” Mark mutters to himself.
Youngjae turns his head towards him in mild shock. Mark adopts a slightly abashed expression before he forces a smile to his face and shakes his head at Youngjae. That only makes Youngjae frown in concern.
“Is something wrong?” Youngjae asks in a low voice, stepping closer to Mark.
“Nothing serious, just winter blues,” Mark shrugs, his smile looking a bit less forced. Youngjae isn’t sure what to think. Now probably isn’t the time to get into it, so he just shifts his bat into his left hand and reaches out to hold Mark’s hand with his right. Mark gives his hand a gentle squeeze and his smile no longer looks strained.
“Heads up, I see two of them stumbling out of the trees on the left,” Jackson points out. Yugyeom steps forward, hefting the bat Jaebum gave him over his shoulder.
“Hold on, Yugyeom, I think Bambam should do it this time,” Jaebum lays a hand on the young man’s shoulder.
“Me?” Bambam just manages to keep the whine out of his voice, but he still makes a face.
“Yes, you. It’s been a while since you last took care of one and we don’t want you getting rusty, especially not today.” Bambam takes the bat from Yugyeom with a sigh before he heads off.
“Look at it this way, the exercise will warm you up a bit,” Jackson calls to his back. Bambam waves a hand without turning around.
Even with the cold slowing down the dead, it takes a little while for Bambam to bring the two of them down, his swings simply stunning instead of killing. Eventually, he hits them in the knees, knocking them down to the ground before he impales their heads with the end of the bat.
“Their skulls used to be so much easier to crack before, but now it’s like trying to break a rock with another rock,” Bambam pants as he heads back over to the group.
“Seems like the cold is a bit of a double-edged sword,” Jinyoung remarks as they continue on.
The field doesn’t look much different today than it did yesterday and it makes Youngjae wonder if the remaining dead are hanging around here because they have some kind of gut feeling that prey will come back, if the sight of a house stirs up faint memories of their past lives or if they just don’t have anywhere else to go.
“Okay, the herd seems to have thinned somewhat since we were last here, but still keep your guard up. This is especially important once we get inside,” Jaebum says as he leads them through the trees, stopping at the edge of the field.
“Jinyoung and Mark, you two start from the left. Youngjae and Jackson, you two start from the right. Yugyeom and Bambam will come with me and take the ones in the middle,” Jaebum gestures with his hands. “Let’s make sure we clear the field before we go inside the house. We don’t want any trouble when our bags and hands are full if we can avoid it.”
“Right,” Jackson nods.
“Alright, let’s go,” Jaebum moves forward, lifting the axe over his shoulder.
Before he heads off, Youngjae catches Mark’s eyes and tells him to be safe with his expression. Mark holds up Jaebum’s bat with a smile and he nods before he’s heading off with Jinyoung. Youngjae turns and jogs to catch up with Jackson.
“What, no parting kisses this time?” Jackson asks with a cheeky grin as Youngjae pulls up beside him. Youngjae only has enough time to sputter incoherently before the dead are right in front of them.
“I’ll stun then and you finish them off!” Youngjae calls out as pushes all other thoughts on his mind and pours all his focus into their mission.
“Right,” Jackson responds as he falls back so he’s just behind Youngjae.
Jackson’s still got his protective suit to guard against bites, but he’s been left with one of the trowels to defend himself with after his fencing sword broke three weeks ago, and he’s still not totally comfortable with it. Some of the dead go down with one hit from Youngjae’s bat, but Jackson takes care of the ones that don’t, holding them down and shoving the pointed end of the trowel through their temples with an enviable swiftness.
“Heads up, there’s some more coming from behind the safe house,” Jackson pulls the trowel from a smashed skull and uses it to point just in front of the hill.
“Let’s finish up here and go help out Jaebum,” Youngjae says before he runs at the last five or so dead in their area, swinging at their heads as he goes.
A quick glance behind him tells him that Jackson is quickly taking care of two that are still moving. Youngjae picks up his pace and heads out to the other side of the field where more dead are stumbling around, jumping over snow-covered lumps as he goes. Maybe it’s because he’s faced a much larger horde and lived to tell the tale or maybe it’s because he’s finally adapted to the new world, but Youngjae can’t find a shred of fear inside himself. He’s certainly aware that anything can happen and he’s not letting his guard down, but it’s been weeks since he has honestly thought he might die at their hands (and mouths).
“Ah, I really hope none of the dead got inside. I’m tired from the walk over here and all this stabbing,” Bambam groans as he follows behind Jaebum, jamming a thick, sharpened stick through the temples of the dead that the older man cuts down with his axe.
“You may be in luck, the door looked like it was closed when I passed it,” Jinyoung says as he finishes off the last of his targets.
“Even so, we don’t know if anything got inside, so don’t get too comfortable,” Jaebum says pointedly.
“Alright, let’s do this,” Jackson claps as he jogs back to the door to the safe house.
“I’ll go in first, Mark and Youngjae come in after and the rest of you follow,” Jaebum says as he turns the knob and pushes the door open.
Even though the sun hangs fairly high in the sky, the lack of windows and the layout of the house doesn’t allow too much light inside, and so Jaebum shines the penlight all around as he cautiously makes his way in and moves through the first floor. By the way the wood floors creak under their feet, Youngjae figures they should hear anything that tries to come for them long before they see it.
“The first floor is clear,” Jaebum says as he finishes checking the kitchen. “Doesn’t seem like anything’s got inside, but let’s still check upstairs.”
The second floor turns out to be just as empty as the first; nothing but dust has touched anything in the house in a long time. It’s good news for them in a way, but it’s also a reminder of the bleak fate of another shelter’s original owner.
“Let’s hurry up and get what we need,” Jaebum says, his voice sounding a bit rough. Jackson reaches out to squeeze his shoulder. Jaebum nods, accepting the comfort for a moment before he turns and heads back down the stairs. “I’m gonna go sweep the kitchen for food.” Jackson follows after him.
“Well, the rest of us should check the bedrooms for fresh clothes and linens,” Mark speaks up, gesturing with his head for them to get to it.
“I’m gonna go find the bathroom and look for shampoo, soap and toothpaste,” Yugyeom heads off, Bambam following him.
“Get some toilet paper while you’re there,” Mark calls out to them.
“Sure,” Yugyeom says with a wave of his hand. Youngjae waits for the two youngest to get out of earshot before he speaks.
“I know Jaebum is still upset about the way things have turned out, but what about you two? You knew the people who owned this place too, didn’t you?” Youngjae asks cautiously as he checks the wardrobe for warm clothes and something to sleep in.
“I only met Junho and Minjun a few times, Jinyoung and Jaebum are the ones who knew them for years,” Mark says as he strips the sheet off the bed and folds it up tightly. Youngjae looks at Jinyoung in question.
“It’s not that I’m not upset about not knowing what happened to them-why they didn’t come here when they said they would-but I guess I’m just built to focus more on the present and the future rather than the past. Looking back while trying to move forward will only make you trip or bump into things, you know?” he shrugs vaguely.
“And it would be so terribly unwise to dwell on maybes while we’re out on a mission, right?” Mark shoots Jinyoung a teasing smile.
“Practical to a fault, I am,” Jinyoung nods sagely.
“Are you guys still in the first bedroom?” Bambam’s voice comes from the hallway.
“Yeah, what did you two find in the bathroom?” Mark calls out.
“We found new soap and toothpaste. There are a couple toothbrushes but they seem to be used,” Yugyeom reports as he enters the room, his and Bambam’s bag a lot fuller than when they left.
“Are you really bothered by a thing like that?” Mark raises an eyebrow.
“Not anymore, which is why we bagged them,” Bambam shrugs.
“We also found a towel, shaving cream, and couple disposable razors,” Yugyeom says.
“Ah, my kingdom for a shave,” Jinyoung moans wistfully as he fingers the scruff on his lip and his chin.
“If you wanted it, then you should’ve claimed it,” Bambam sticks out his tongue.
“What do you children even need shaving cream for?” Jinyoung scoffs derisively.
“Alright, alright, enough of that. You can bicker over the spoils when we’re safely underground again,” Mark cuts in. “Youngjae, you finished with the wardrobe and the closet?”
“Yeah, I found a couple pairs of sweatpants and hoodies. No coats though.”
“That’s good still. I’ll go what I can find in the next one,” Jinyoung says as he heads out the room. Yugyeom and Bambam make faces at him as he passes by.
“You do that, I wanna see if I can find some thick socks in here,” Bambam says as he checks the drawers.
“I’m gonna head downstairs. Aside from food and clothes and linen, I want to see if there’s any miscellaneous things that we might find useful,” Youngjae says as he grabs a pillow and makes for the stairs. Mark follows him.
“Think we should take back a frying pan; maybe give it to Yugyeom or Bambam to use instead of that stick?” Mark grins as they take a look around the living room. Youngjae can’t hold back a laugh at the mental image.
“What’s so funny?” Jackson sticks his head out from the kitchen.
“Mark thinks we should arm Yugyeom and Bambam with a frying pan,” Youngjae chuckles.
“Like Wilma from the Flintstones?” Jackson bursts out laughing.
“Yes, exactly!” Mark grins wider. Youngjae doesn’t know what they’re referencing, but he laughs along with them anyway.
“I wouldn’t object to having something we could cook with so we could actually have something hot once in a while,” Jackson says as his laughter peters off.
“Me too, I’m gonna look around for matches and lighter fluid.”
“I already got it,” Jaebum says as he steps into the living room, adjusting the bag slung over his shoulder. “Are we just about done? I don’t want to hang around any longer than necessary.”
“We’re basically done here, I could go fetch the others if you want,” Mark offers.
“It’s alright I’ll do it,” Jaebum says as he makes his way up the stairs. About three minutes later, Jaebum descends the stairs, Jinyoung, Bambam and Yugyeom following behind him with sheets and pillows in their hands.
“I feel like there’s more stuff we could come back for,” Yugyeom says as they head out the front door and set out across the field again. “It’s really not that long a walk really for what we’re getting out of it.”
“What, like, tomorrow?” Jackson asks.
“Not necessarily, but some other day maybe?”
“We’ll see how it goes,” Jaebum says noncommittally.
In addition to their weariness from clearing the field, the extra weight of the things they’re carrying considerably slows their walk back to base. Although Jaebum never intended for them to stop to eat out on the road, the growling of their stomachs-not to mention Yugyeom and Bambam’s complaining-eventually gets to be too loud to ignore. By the time the pointed ends of the wooden spikes around their base comes into view, the sun is beginning to set on another day. They’re about a hundred meters away from the door when it happens.
“Hey, Youngjae, can I ask you for a second opinion?” Yugyeom nudges him in the side.
“What is it, Yugyeom?” Youngjae turns to him. Yugyeom points up in the sky while squinting.
“It’s kind of hard for me to see at this time of day and I left my binoculars behind. Could you tell me if that’s a bird or something? It’s been bugging me for a little while,” Yugyeom blinks hard and rubs his eyes. Youngjae follows his finger.
It’s far away enough in the air and the light from the sun is low enough for Youngjae not to recognise what it is at first. His immediate thought is that it is just a bird, but then it gradually draws closer and closer and it’s much too big to be a bird. It’s only when it gets close enough for him to hear the swishing of the blades that his brain finally understands what his eyes are seeing.
“It’s a helicopter,” Youngjae mutters to himself in disbelief. “There’s a helicopter in the sky!”
“No way,” Mark whispers, his eyes wide as he follows Youngjae’s finger.
“Is it from the military?” Jinyoung’s mouth hangs open.
“Who cares who owns it or where it came from?!” Jackson asks incredulously. “Hey! We’re over here! We’re right here!” Jackson jumps and waves his arms.
Their bags are all sent tumbling to the ground as everyone else joins in jumping up and down and shouting at the sky. Jaebum goes as far as to try to chase after it to attract attention, but their efforts are fruitless; the helicopter sails right over their heads and disappears into the horizon.
“Fuck!” Jaebum swears. Snow and bits of grass are sent flying off the toe of his shoe.
“I guess it’s just too dark for them to see us,” Mark sighs mournfully.
“If only we still had that signal flare,” Yugyeom wrings his hands.
“I can’t believe it,” Jinyoung breathes.
“I know, it was right there and then it flew off,” Jackson groans as he grabs at his hair.
“Yeah, but if it came by once who’s to say it won’t come again?” Jinyoung says.
“Or there might be another helicopter that will pass by,” Youngjae speaks up. “I’ve been regularly checking the radio and-the radio!” Youngjae breaks off his sentence as he sprints the rest of the way to their base. He all but flies down the ladder and into the living area, just barely managing to keep upright as he trips over his own feet in his haste.
“Do you hear anything on the radio?” Mark is not far behind him.
“Not just yet,” Youngjae pants as he changes the frequency.
“Wait, go back! I think I heard something,” Mark grabs his forearm. Youngjae obliges.
“…visibility fair… heading north northwest at…estimated arrival…copy…”
“Is that the helicopter pilot?” Jaebum skids to stop by Youngjae’s elbow.
“I think so. It might be.”
“And we can’t send out a message to tell him to come back for us?” Jaebum grabs fistfuls of his own hair. It’s a rhetorical question and the answer is pretty depressing, so nobody says anything in reply. “Shit,” Jaebum curses as he slams a fist against the wall.
“I still don’t think that that was our last hope of a rescue,” Jinyoung says as he drops his bag onto the floor. “We missed it this time, but now that we’re anticipating it, we can be ready for the next time.”
“You mean like, have someone posted up top as a lookout?” Jackson asks with furrowed brows.
“We could do that, but it might not be enough on its own. The silver lining of this situation is that I think we’ve found a better use for the dead than simply having them thrown into a heap,” Jinyoung says with a grin.
“I don’t follow,” Jackson shakes his head.
“We spell out a message with the bodies,” Jinyoung says as if it’s obvious.
“Ahhh, I see. That’s actually not a bad idea, Park Jinyoung,” Jackson says appreciatively.
“It would have to be pretty big to be seen from the sky,” Yugyeom murmurs. “Do we even have enough bodies to do that?”
“There’s a field full of dead that we could use if we run out,” Jinyoung points out.
“And go back and forth all that way carrying a freaking corpse over our shoulders? No way!” Bambam vehemently shakes his head.
“I agree with Bambam, that doesn’t seem very practical,” Mark speaks up. Bambam blinks in surprise before he flashes Mark a grin. “I think we should use what bodies we do have to make something eye-catching, if not a verbal message, and we set up wood to make a bonfire to attract attention in case we see another helicopter fly by.”
“Sounds good to me,” Jinyoung nods.
“Alright, sounds like a plan. Rest up tonight and prepare yourselves for an early start tomorrow morning,” Jaebum nods. “We’ve got wood to chop and bodies to move.”
Youngjae is the last one to take a shower that day. The water pouring out of the showerhead is as cold as ever, but having access to soap and shampoo and being able to truly scrub his body clean for the first time in weeks just about makes up for it. He ends up staying under the cold spray longer than he ever has before, just revelling in the feeling of being clean. Once he dries himself off and gets his sleeping clothes on he makes a mad dash through the dark to the bed-now covered with fresh sheets-and dives beneath the covers.
“Oh wow, your skin is freezing. I’m actually surprised that you haven’t turned into a human shaped block of ice considering how long you were in there,” Mark chuckles as he rubs the covers over Youngjae’s body, the friction providing a bit of much needed heat.
“Ahh, I’m so cold!” Youngjae wails through chattering teeth. The covers shift as Mark ducks fully underneath them and shuffles down the bed. Youngjae blinks as Mark tangles their legs together and takes Youngjae’s hands in his, rubbing them together.
“Is this better?” A tingling sensation runs through Youngjae’s hands as Mark breathes warm air onto them. It’s probably just the numbness from the cold fading, but the accompanying fluttering in his stomach indicates that’s not all it is.
“Yeah, thanks,” Youngjae mumbles.
Although they’ve slept spooned together over a dozen times, Youngjae has never felt more acutely aware of how close their bodies are than he has now. It’s too dark for Youngjae to see Mark’s face, but he can tell from the way the other man is slowly stroking his hands that he’s staring very intently at Youngjae.
“No problem,” Mark says softly. It’s a wonder that Youngjae can hear it over the thudding of his own heart. The motion of Mark stroking his hands slows down even more until it stops altogether. Youngjae isn’t exactly surprised by the feeling of lips covering his, but his eyes bug out of his head and his whole body goes tense when Mark slowly moves his thigh against Youngjae’s.
“Sorry,” Mark mutters as he pulls away.
“N-no, don’t, it’s not-” Youngjae bites his lip, cutting off his own sentence.
“I’m not sure I understand.” Youngjae can’t help but cringe at Mark’s wounded tone of voice. “Is there any…” For a long moment, Youngjae hears the sound of teeth clicking together after Mark trails off. Youngjae lets him collect his thoughts in silence. “Do you not feel comfortable with me?” Mark asks at last.
“I-No, of course I do,” Youngjae sputters incredulously. He doesn’t need to see Mark’s face to know the other man is giving him a doubtful look. “Really, I’m most comfortable when you’re near me,” Youngjae insists.
“Then why the-” Mark sucks in a breath and stiffens his body in an imitation of Youngjae’s reaction, “-just now?”
“It’s not that I don’t want to…get intimate, it’s just that I don’t really know what I’m doing,” Youngjae sighs, his eyes falling shut as embarrassment burns his face. “I had crushes when I was a kid, but they never really went anywhere because I was so awkward. After I got into high school I spent all my time studying to get a scholarship so I could go to university, and after I got into a university I spent all my time studying so that I could keep my scholarship.”
“So, you haven’t…”
“No,” Youngjae mumbles. There’s a long moment where neither of them say anything more, they just sit in silence listening to the other breath. Youngjae wishes he could see Mark’s face so he could have some kind of idea about how the other man is feeling at his revelation.
“Would it be-”
“Is that a-”
“Oh, sorry, you go first,” Mark says, moving their still joined hands towards Youngjae.
“No, no, I’d rather hear what you were saying before,” Youngjae shakes his head.
“I was just saying that there’s nothing wrong with being inexperienced and I don’t mind waiting until you’re more comfortable, but I’d take care of you if you’d like to try it.”
“I would,” Youngjae whispers.
“Tell me if you want to stop,” Mark says softly before he brings their lips together again.
It’s amazing how much less anxious Youngjae feels now that he’s got his not-so-dirty little secret off his chest. Sure, his lips are trembling slightly and his heart is thumping almost painfully in his chest, but that’s at least partially due to anticipation now.
Mark eases himself off the bed and moves so that he’s kneeling over Youngjae’s body, his wiry arms on either side of Youngjae’s head. A long moan escapes Youngjae’s lips as a warm hand slips past the waistband of his underwear and wraps around his hardening cock. Youngjae has just enough of his faculties left to be thankful that Mark has kept their lips pressed together, muffling and swallowing every little noise that forces its way up Youngjae’s throat.
Youngjae’s hands clench and unclench uselessly in the sheets as Mark’s hand grips him tighter and slightly speeds up its pace. It was already quite warm under the sheets, but now Youngjae feels like he’s burning up as heat builds in his lower abdomen and radiates to the rest of his body. He’s gotten himself off several times before, but it feels much more different and so much better when it’s someone else’s hands on him-when it’s Mark’s hands on him.
Youngjae’s body jerk up and his eyes fly open when Mark twists his wrist and flicks his thumb over the head of Youngjae’s cock. This close, Youngjae can just about make out the soft brown of Mark’s eyes, can see the focus and the intent and the love in them. Youngjae’s hands fist themselves in Mark’s shirt, desperately holding onto his shoulders as the heat in his body spikes and he’s carried over the edge with a long shudder. Mark pulls his lips away at last, leaving Youngjae free to pant and try to catch his breath.
“Wow,” Youngjae sighs in contentment as Mark wipes him down with a tissue.
“So, you enjoyed yourself?” Youngjae can hear the teasing smile in Mark’s voice.
“You know I did,” he chuckles slightly. “Um, do you want me to…” Youngjae makes a vague motion with his hand, belatedly realising that Mark can’t see it.
“Don’t feel obligated to do it,” Mark says, the bed dipping slightly on Youngjae’s left as Mark lies back down. Youngjae pouts before he rolls himself on top of Mark.
“I won’t be as good as you are, but I still want to try it,” he punctuates his statement with a roll of his hips.
“Okay,” Mark chuckles. Youngjae pouts again; he’s trying to be sexy, not funny.
He starts off with what he’s comfortable with-kissing. To his satisfaction, Mark’s laughter peters off once Youngjae slips his tongue past Mark’s lips. The next time he rolls his hips it’s a soft moan that passes Mark’s lips. Youngjae hasn’t quite gotten the hang of kissing and grinding at the same time, so he pulls his mouth off Mark’s.
“What are you doing?” Mark asks in a breathy voice when Youngjae starts to shuffle down his body.
“Trying something,” Youngjae bites his lip before he reaches into Mark’s pants and carefully wraps a hand around his cock.
“Oh!” Mark whisper shouts when Youngjae licks the head of his cock.
While he’s never done this before or had it done to him, Youngjae has a basic idea of how this goes, so he wraps his lips around the head and sucks it into his mouth. The smell, taste and feel of it aren’t like anything he’s ever experienced before, but it’s the pleasant fluttering feeling in his gut when Mark’s thighs tremble that really has him shocked. Youngjae sucks as hard as he can-being mindful of his teeth-and the feeling only intensifies as Mark struggles to suppress his moans.
He can’t take too much of the shaft into his mouth before he starts to gag, so he focuses on sucking on the head while his hand moves up and down the rest of the shaft. It makes Youngjae feel self-conscious and anxious about whether he’s doing a good job, but he relaxes a bit when he hears Mark’s breathing rate speed up. When his cheeks start to hurt from sucking and his hands tire, Youngjae pulls his mouth off Mark’s cock and licks it from base to tip. Maybe there’s a technique to it that he doesn’t know because it’s not long before the muscles in his neck ache as well.
“Are you okay? Do you want to stop?” Mark pants when Youngjae pauses to massage his neck.
“No, no, I just got a bit tired,” Youngjae shakes his dismissively.
“It’s not a problem for me to finish myself off, you know,” Mark offers.
“I said I want to do it,” Youngjae frowns determinedly.
He puts an end to the conversation when he puts his mouth on Mark’s cock and sucks harder than ever. He musters up all his energy and channels it into working his hand up and down Mark’s shaft. His hand feels like it’s about to fall off his wrist when Mark finally comes, but it’s worth the accomplished feeling he gets as Mark shudders beneath him.
Some of Mark’s come goes shooting right down his throat, but the rest he just manages to catch in his mouth. For a few seconds, he debates with himself about what to do with it before a wad of tissue is held to his lips. After he’s done Youngjae rolls his tongue around in his mouth; Mark’s taste still lingers on it.
“So, you enjoyed yourself?” Youngjae shuffles up and rest his head on Mark’s chest, Mark’s arms wrapping around him and holding him there.
“Yeah, I did,” Mark tweaks his nose with a chuckle.
For a long moment the two of them just lie like that. Youngjae’s body is tired from the trip to the safe house and his mind is still a bit hazy from orgasm, but he doesn’t fall asleep. Mark’s still awake too judging by his breathing and the slight movements of his fingers on Youngjae’s back.
“Do you think the world can go back to the way it was before?” Youngjae mumbles into Mark’s chest. His head lifts and lowers as Mark takes a deep breath.
“Maybe not exactly the way it was before, but better than how it is now,” Mark says softly.
“The helicopter that flew by today looked like the ones used by the military. Do you think that means there’s still a government out there somewhere?” There’s no chance that Mark knows anything more than he does, but Youngjae can’t stop himself from asking.
“I think so. If government heads have contingency plans for things like nuclear warfare and if ordinary people like you and me can find a way to survive, then they should have been able to as well,” Mark says confidently.
“I wonder where the helicopter was going to, where it was flying from, if there’s a colony with other survivors.”
“It’s almost a shame that we’re going to have to leave this place behind just when we’ve made it ours,” Mark says with a wistful sigh. Youngjae shifts his head so that he’s staring into Mark’s eyes.
“There’s nothing we have here that we can’t have somewhere else,” he says seriously, lowering his head to plant a kiss on Mark’s lips. Youngjae can feel the man smile.
“Right,” Mark says with a smile in his voice, his arms holding Youngjae tighter.
Fittingly enough, it’s New Year’s Day when the next helicopter passes by and this time they’re ready for it. They’ve got all the bodies of the dead and the refrigerator they dumped arranged to form the word ‘Hey’ from an aerial view. While Youngjae drops the binoculars and runs to throw open the hatch and call everyone up, Mark gets the fire going. While Youngjae dumps even more of the lighter fluid onto the fire and Jinyoung fans it with a blanket, the others spread out on the ground and shout at the helicopter in the sky.
“Hey, don’t just fly past us this time!” Bambam yells as he jumps and waves his arms in the air while Yugyeom blows at his whistle until he’s red in the face.
They carry on like that for about a minute and the helicopter continues on its way. Youngjae feels a chill run through him even as the side of his body is bathed in heat. Was the fire not big enough or smoky enough to attract the helicopter’s attention? Did they wait too long to get it lit? Was their message too small to be seen from that high up in the sky?
“Wait a minute, I think it’s…It is! It’s turning back!” Jackson exclaims.
Sure enough the helicopter is making a wide arc in the sky, turning around until it’s almost right above them. Even though they seem to have gotten their attention, Mark and Youngjae still can’t stop themselves from feeding the fire. Bambam and Jackson are jumping and waving harder than ever as Jinyoung cheers and claps with the corners of his eyes crinkling. Yugyeom barely has enough breath to catch to make any real noise with his whistle, but he keeps at it as the helicopter hovers before it begins its slow descent from the sky.
As it makes its way to the ground in front of them, Youngjae takes a moment to look at the six other men in his company. Jaebum is crouching in the snow, his face buried in Jackson’s neck and his shoulders shaking as Jackson rubs his back. Jinyoung is standing over them, stroking Jaebum’s hair and muttering reassurances to him. Bambam and Yugyeom nearly trip over their feet as they jump up and down and hoot at the sky with their arms wrapped around each other. His heart breaks a bit when he finds Mark sniffling into a hand with tears in his eyes. Youngjae hugs him from behind before he turns the other man around and kisses the tears off his cheeks.
“No matter what happens from now, we’ll be fine because we have each other, right?” Youngjae wipes a tear from the corner of Mark’s eye. Mark blinks back the rest of his tears and looks around at everyone else.
“Right,” Mark nods with a grin.
Youngjae holds out his hand and Mark laces their fingers together. The helicopter lands.
~fin~