[series] It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) [2/7]
Title: It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
Pairings: Mark/Youngjae, Jackson/JB
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~4.6k
Summary: After the outbreak, Youngjae was sure that he lost everything, his friends, his family, his former life. He was right, but he was also wrong. He's suffered loss yes, but he also ends up gaining as well.
A/N: I got this chapter done a lot quicker than I originally thought I would've. It was also originally much longer so I decided to split it.
part one
He had considered the possibility of one of those things trying to get into his flat just before he left to scavenge for food, but even though he locked the door behind them, he honestly never thought it would happen. Maybe he unconsciously felt that Mark and Jaebum’s presence would ward them away, shielding his little haven. It sounds naïve even to his own ears; Jaebum was well within his rights to question Youngjae’s ability to adapt to the current world order. The thumping continues and Youngjae is just about to run to get Mark when he hears something unexpected-his name.
“Youngjae? Youngjae, are you in there? I’ve lost my keys…”
“Jackson!” Youngjae would be taken aback at how unfazed Jackson sounds-like he just drooped his keys in somebody else’s car after a wild night out on the town-if he weren’t already reeling at the fact that he’s alive.
“Youngjae?! You’re here!” Youngjae can practically hear the older boy beam through the door.
“What’s going on?” Mark asks, but for once Youngjae ignores him, focusing on getting his hands to stop shaking so he can get the door unlocked. The lock barely slides out before the door is swinging open and the breath is knocked out of Youngjae as a very familiar body crashes into him, wrapping its arms around him and laughing gleefully into his ear. Youngjae wheezes out a laugh, his cheeks aching from smiling and his eyes squeezed shut to keep the tears from spilling out as he’s lifted off his feet and spun around.
“Oh my God, I can’t believe it!” Youngjae has never been so happy to hear Jackson’s high-pitched giggle. “Boy, am I glad to see you!” Jackson finally stops spinning him and puts him back on his feet, but doesn’t release his hold. He’s forced to though, when a bat is lowered between them, pushing Youngjae back before it’s turned on Jackson. As Youngjae stumbles back, hands reach out and grab his shoulders, stabilising him, but also keeping him in place.
“Strip,” Jaebum says curtly, gesturing to Jackson with the end of his bat.
“Oh wow, that’s a bit a forward isn’t it? We haven’t even exchanged names,” Jackson chuckles, but he raises his hands non-threateningly in front of his body.
“You’ve clearly had encounters while you were out there,” Jaebum says, his eyes darting over Jackson’s blood stained clothing. Youngjae blinks as he notices that Jackson is decked out in his fencing gear, his face mask lying by his feet. “I need to see that you’ve not been bitten. Now strip.”
“Why would I put Youngjae in danger by seeking him out if I had been bitten?” Jackson crosses his arms over his chest, all traces of mirth gone from his face.
“I’m not going to ask you again,” Jaebum says lowly, moving his bat significantly. Youngjae makes to step forward, but is held back by Mark’s deceptively strong grip. Youngjae glances back at him in surprise, but Mark’s gaze is focused on Jackson.
“Just do what he says. We learnt this lesson once already,” Mark says plainly. Jackson sighs and rolls his eyes, but thankfully he complies with their demand, tugging off his protective jacket, plastron, and the white t-shirt beneath it. He holds out his bare arms and turns around to display his back, pausing to flex his muscles. Youngjae can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of him at the sight. Jackson throws a grin and a wink over his shoulder at Youngjae’s reaction. Youngjae jumps a bit as Mark’s fingers press into his skin a bit harder.
“Pants next,” Jaebum says firmly. Jackson smirks before he toes off his trainers and starts removing his breeches, slowly pulling down the shoulder straps.
“If you thought my torso was impressive, just wait until you see my thighs. I’ll give you some time to prepare yourselves.” Jaebum frowns and tilts his head as Jackson pauses for a moment before he finally kicks off his pants, spins around in nothing but his socks and his underwear, and strikes a pose. Jaebum ignores his theatrics, his eyes scanning the length of his body four times before he’s satisfied.
“Alright, he’s clear,” Jaebum lowers his bat at last, but Mark keeps his hands on Youngjae’s shoulders.
“Don’t you need to see the rest?” Jackson asks with a sly grin, his thumbs dipping into the waistband of his underwear. Jaebum’s eyes narrow like he’s seriously considering telling him to do it, but Mark speaks up first.
“No, that won’t be necessary.”
“Are you sure?” Jackson waggles his eyebrows.
“Weren’t you the one who was just complaining about having to strip before?” Jaebum asks in a bewildered voice. Jackson shrugs innocently, a grin tugging at his lips until his eyes start to roam over Jaebum’s chest and then down the length of Jaebum’s body.
“Those clothes you’re wearing, they look awfully familiar,” Jackson is frowning now.
“They should, they’re yours,” Jaebum says casually. A vein jumps in Jackson’s neck.
“So, you went inside my room and stole some of my clothes?” Jackson bares his teeth in that forced smile he does when he’s trying not to lose his temper.
“No, Youngjae went inside your room and gave me some of your clothes.” Jackson’s head swivels towards Youngjae who winces at the look on his face, stepping back to hide behind Mark with a mumbled apology. “I was actually in your room just now trying to find something else to take, but I hadn’t made any headway yet,” Jaebum smiles blandly. Jackson laughs lowly, his tongue stroking the inside of one cheek.
“Look, sorry for going through your stuff, dude, but we kind of thought that you wouldn’t need them anymore. If you’ve been out there for any amount of time, you should know what I mean,” Mark speaks up at last in his deep, soothing voice, his hands held up in a pacifying manner.
“You know, I wasn’t sure of it before, but I think hear it now. Korean isn’t your first language right?” Jackson squints, a hand coming up to stroke his chin.
“Uh no, it’s English,” Mark says in English, blinking a bit.
“Cool, me too!” Jackson’s eyes light up as he bounces on the balls of his feet. “Well, not the first but I speak it well.”
“Um, that’s great, I guess,” Mark chuckles a bit, looking confused but also charmed despite himself. Youngjae can relate.
“What’s your name and where are you from?”
“Uh, Mark and L.A.”
“Mark saved my life earlier,” Youngjae pipes up.
“Did you? Oh wow. Thanks for looking out for Youngjae while I was gone,” Jackson steps up to Mark and pulls him into a tight hug, swinging him from side to side.
“And Jaebum helped!” Youngjae says, pointing to the man whose eyebrow has been climbing steadily higher into his hairline as the scene has progressed. Before Jaebum can open his mouth to deny it, Jackson is on him, pulling him into a hug too.
“Aww you like to come off as being Mr. Tough and Intimidating, but really you’re a good guy, aren’t you?” Jackson pats his back hard. Jaebum jumps, trying to squirm out of his hold. Youngjae isn’t sure if it’s because Jackson is holding him so tightly or because Jackson is still dressed in nothing but underwear, socks, and a smile, or if it’s a combination of both. Eventually he just gives up and waits for Jackson to let go. “So, what’s been going on while I was away?” Jackson asks when he finally releases Jaebum.
“Nothing much happened until today. Before that I was just here, bored and alone, but then I left to try and find some more food, got into trouble, and then got rescued,” Youngjae says with a hand wave at Mark and Jaebum. “Yeah, I just sat here doing nothing before; had nothing to do and no-one to talk to,” Youngjae mumbles, taking quick, deep breaths.
As the excitement from their reunion wears off, it weighs on Youngjae’s heart now just how much he was certain that he wasn’t going to see Jackson again. It’s ridiculous to be upset now that he can see that the other man is physically fine and as spirited as he ever was, but knowing that doesn’t stop water form gathering in his eyes or leaking out his nose.
“Hey, what’s-?” Jackson’s question stops short as Youngjae crashes into him, burying his face in Jackson’s neck, his hands grabbing at his back. Youngjae feels Jackson flinch when his tears start trickling down his bare skin.
“Hey, it’s alright. I’m alright. Did you miss me that much? Sorry it took so long for me to come back. It must’ve been so dull without me, but I’m back now,” Jackson whispers soothingly into his ear, his hands coming up to hold Youngjae and stroke his back. Even if Youngjae wanted to speak, the mucous building up in his throat has sealed the words in, so he just leas on Jackson, sobbing and sniffing into his neck.
“It’s alright, I’m here now.”
Youngjae’s eyes ache as he blinks groggily, a dull throbbing in his head making him groan as he sits up. For a second he doesn’t know where he is, but a few blinks later he starts to recognise the framed high school diploma on the wall, the small wooden bookcase and the duvet that covers the lower half of his body. He’s in his bedroom. Youngjae blinks and frowns in confusion. How did he go from an unlikely reunion with Jackson to falling asleep in his room? Calling on his memory, images of grabbing Jackson and weeping into his shoulder slowly filter through his mind. Did he really cry himself to sleep? Like a goddamned baby?
“Really? How humiliating!” Youngjae groans while flopping backwards onto his bed. As he lies there, sounds from the next room squeeze their way through the space under his door, their broken fragments floating up into his ears. He can’t make out any words, but he does hear what sounds like laughter. More sound bursts into the room as the door creaks open. Youngjae sits up to see two brown eyes peeking through the crack.
“Oh, you’re awake,” Mark notes, pushing the door open wider.
“Uh, yeah,” Youngjae croaks as he rubs his face, partially to rub the last traces of sleep out of his eyes and partially to wipe away any remaining tear trails.
“What happened while I was…out? Things were a bit awkward as far as I remember, but it seems like that’s all been smoothed over,” Youngjae says as Jackson’s high-pitched giggle bounces into his bedroom. Mark’s lips quirk up before he enters the room, closing the door behind him.
“Oh wow, it’s pretty dark in here with the curtains drawn. Would you mind opening them?” Mark asks as Youngjae listens to him fumble his way over to Youngjae’s bed.
“Um, okay,” Youngjae bites his lip.
Grabbing hold of the curtain, he pulls it to the side. Enough light filters into the room to make Mark’s trip easier than before, but not as much as Youngjae would expect for-a quick glance at his watch-twenty minutes past eleven in the morning. The sky overhead is completely grey, a light shower of rain dripping down from the heavens, clouds hanging heavily in the sky like a wet sponge that will release a flood water if someone squeezes it. It’s the kind of rain that’s reminiscent of Chinese water torture. Youngjae turns back as he feels the bed dip.
“You don’t have to be ashamed, you know,” Mark says as he sits down. “No-one thinks any lesser of you for, you know,” Mark waves his hand in the general direction of Youngjae’s face. Youngjae can’t help but cringe and drop his gaze. As kind as he’s being about his emotional outburst, Youngjae would’ve preferred that he pretend it didn’t happen. Mark is either really perceptive or telepathic because he drops the issue and answers Youngjae’s question.
“Not a whole lot has happened. It’s just been Jackson firing questions at us and Jaebum scurrying to answer them.”
“They seem to be getting along,” Youngjae notes as more fragmented laughter slips under his door.
“Yeah, your, uh, roommate is very…personable,” Mark chuckles. Youngjae beams back at him.
“I know, right? He makes it so easy love him.” Mark’s smile falters a bit before it’s back full-force.
“Right. Well, I’m happy for you. That you were, uh, able to find each other,” Mark nods and pats Youngjae on the arm before he eases himself off Youngjae’s bed. Youngjae follows after him, stretching as he pads into the living room.
“Youngjae, you’re awake!” Jackson grins, holding out an arm. He’s freshly showered and dressed in a black shirt and baggy black pants. Youngjae automatically folds himself into Jackson’s side and lays his head on the older man’s shoulder.
“So, Jaebum’s been telling me that you mean to push off with him and Mark.” Youngjae sits up, finding himself fumbling for words.
“Um, well, that was before I knew you were, you know-”
“Relax, don’t look so panicked. I’m coming too,” Jackson laughs as he rests a hand on Youngjae’s head and pushes back down to rest on his shoulder.
“Oh,” Youngjae blinks, the tension vanishing out of his as quickly as it materialised.
“Yeah, Jaebum already went through the drill. Blah, blah, do what I say. Blah, blah, you need a weapon. Blah, blah, call me ‘Daddy’.” Jaebum sits up in his seat.
“I never said that!” he chokes out, his face reddening.
“Dude, do you ever listen to yourself? You may as well have ‘Master’ tattooed across your forehead,” Jackson chuckles.
“Shut up,” Jaebum snaps without any real heat.
“Yes, Master,” Jackson simpers. Jaebum narrows his eyes and presses his lips together, but that doesn’t stop the corner of his mouth form turning up. “Haha, you kinky bastard!” Jackson cackles. Youngjae can’t help but laugh at the look on his face. It’s almost weird to remember that not too long ago he was nearly pissing himself in fear as Jaebum loomed over him.
“You know I think I saw something in your room that I’d like to spit on. Excuse me for a moment,” Jaebum drawls as he marches over to Jackson’s room.
“That is so not funny, Jaebum. I mean it. Don’t you dare, asshole!” Jackson jumps up and chases after him. Youngjae’s smile falters as he notices the dark look on Mark’s face.
“Hey, are you alright?”
“What? Yeah, I’m fine,” Mark blinks, his expression clearing.
“You looked really upset though,” Youngjae says unsurely.
“It’s just…Doesn’t it upset you? To see Jackson flirt so openly with Jaebum?” Mark mumbles under his breath, glancing over at Jackson’s bedroom door.
“No, of course not. Why would it upset me?” Youngjae chuckles. Somehow Mark looks even more confused at his answer.
“You mean you…?” Mark’s eyes dart between Youngjae and Jackson’s door.
“I?” Youngjae tilts his head.
“Never mind,” Mark mumbles, shaking his head.
“When are we planning to shove out, by the way?” Jackson asks as he waddles back into the living room, Jaebum perched on his back. Mark’s eye twitches as he watches Jackson deposit Jaebum backwards onto the sofa, shifting around as he leans his full weight back on the other man. Mark’s mouth is turning down until he glances back at Youngjae and his face clears.
“I was thinking tomorrow or the day after,” says Jaebum’s slightly muffed voice.
“What if it’s still raining?” Jackson asks with the hint of a whine in his voice.
“So long as it’s not heavy, I’d say we leave anyway. Having a roof over my head and a soft, warm place to sleep is nice, but I don’t want to dally when there’s someplace even better out there.”
“Your friend’s place had better be good, Jaebum, with the way you keep gassing it up,” Jackson pouts as he leans his head back and rubs his hair in Jabeum’s face.
“At any rate this place would only be a viable hideout for so long. In the city we’d have to be constantly scavenging for preserved food, putting ourselves at risk each time we head out. Not to mention, we could end up boxed in here if enough of those things found us,” Mark speaks up.
“What are we going to do about food at your friend’s place?”
“We’d have the land to grow food and animals to hunt.”
“Until the winter, which is quickly approaching by the way-Hey!” Jackson yelps as he’s pushed off the sofa.
“Do remember that I never invited to come with us; you invited yourself. You could always un-invite yourself if you think our plan is that stupid,” Jaebum snaps.
“I never said it was stupid, I just don’t think there’s any point in going along with a plan if you haven’t mulled over all its weak points,” Jackson blinks up at Jaebum with a shrug.
“Fair enough,” Jaebum mutters, chewing on the inside of his cheek.
“I know it’s barely noon, but how are sleeping arrangements going to work? There are four of us but only two beds and one sofa,” Mark speaks up. “Should we draw lots or something?”
“Mark and Jaebum can play for the sofa, but there’s no way I’m giving up my bed,” Jackson says fiercely wagging his finger at the three of them.
“One of you can have my bed,” Youngjae says.
“Are you sure?” Mark asks.
“Yeah, I’m sure. While the three of you have been sleeping rough I’ve done nothing but sleep for the last few weeks. I should probably get used to sleeping on the floor from now on anyway,” Youngjae shrugs.
“Mark and Jabeum, you play for Youngjae’s bed,” Jackson says.
“Eh, Jaebum should have the bed. He’s missed more sleep than me,” Mark shrugs.
“Thanks,” Jaebum’s lips quirk up. Mark nods.
“That was anti-climactic,” Jackson sighs.
“There’ll be plenty of drama out there, no point in starting it now,” Mark leans over and flicks Jackson’s forehead. Jackson looks up with a maniacal grin.
“Ah~You initiated contact~” Jackson says in a sing-song voice before he jumps up and tackles a bewildered looking Mark to the floor. “You’ve been so quiet and you play your cards so close to your chest, but this whole time you’ve wanted me to play with you too, right?” Jackson laughs as he pins Mark with one hand and wiggles the fingers of his other hand up and down Mark’s side.
“Alright, that’s enough. Let him go,” Jaebum drawls from the sofa. Jackson pouts, but complies, sitting back to let Mark catch his breath.
“Are you just like this with everyone?” Mark laughs while shaking his head.
“Everyone I like,” Jackson says plainly.
“Okay, alright,” Mark pats Jackson on the shoulder before he rolls out from under him. Youngjae doesn’t know what it is about that exchange that has soothed Mark’s troubled mind, but from then on he stops making constipated faces at Jackson whenever he thinks no-one’s watching him.
“So, what now?” Jackson asks while cracking his knuckles.
“I guess we just continue going through what’s in here and pack for when we head out,” Mark says with a glance at Jaebum who nods, getting up off the sofa.
“Wait, I need to be there if you’re going to go through my stuff,” Jackson scampers to his feet, padding after Jaebum.
“Looks like it’s you and me,” Mark smiles.
“Right,” Youngjae feels his face warm up. “Well, you’re the expert, what do you suggest I pack?”
“A blanket, definitely. Also, you ought to layer your clothing to maximise space and protect you from the elements seeing as how it’s getting colder. Uh, we should bring whatever food and water we can carry, and I guess things like knives and matches round out the essentials.”
Youngjae stares at all the clothes he has, all the clothes he could fit into two suitcases, and he tries to decide which the warmest ones are. Eventually his mind starts to wander and his gaze drifts over to his bookcase. Even though he complained about having nothing new to read, he is tempted to take at least one novel with him. He shakes himself and focuses on the essentials; he’s not packing for a holiday and he has no idea if he’d even have the time to read anyway.
“Problem?” Mark asks from where he’s sitting on the bed.
“Uh, I guess I’m just worried about having to defend myself when I get out there,” Youngjae lies. He’d feel embarrassed to tell Mark the real reason for his hesitance, and he’s humiliated himself in front of Mark enough times for one day. “Like, a bat is easy to use, but I’ve never used it to attack someone before.”
“They’re not people, Youngjae-not anymore.” Youngjae chews on the inside of his bottom lip.
“Maybe, but either way I still don’t know how to kill them.”
“It’s simple. You just make sure you hold the bat tightly in your hands, keep it cocked back so you can bring it down or around in a swing in an instant, wait until you’re within arm’s length before you swing, and-this is vital-make sure you aim for the head. They don’t die if their brains aren’t destroyed.”
Youngjae nods absently, desperately trying to commit all of that to memory. It’s not exactly rocket science, but it’s hard not to get hung up on little details when it could mean the difference between life and death.
“Look, let me show you,” Mark gets off the bed and stands behind Youngjae, his hands lifting Youngjae’s arms into position. “Hands like this, holding the end of the bat.” Youngjae jumps a bit as the other man’s warm breath puffs against his ears, shifting the fine hair around it. “Something’s coming toward you right now. It’s getting closer, closer, it’s five steps away, almost, and…Now!” Mark swings his arms forward so hard Youngjae is forced to take a step forward.
“I’d advise you to stick with downward swings for now, they’re more likely to get it in one shot than a side hit,” Mark says, still pressed against Youngjae.
“Right. Thanks,” Youngjae breathes.
“Um, I should go make sure Jackson and Jaebum haven’t killed each other,” Mark says as he slowly lets go of Youngjae’s arms and backs out of the room.
“Right. I’ll keep packing,” Youngjae nods, idly rubbing his fingertips over his forearms.
That evening, as the sun sets, Youngjae makes a makeshift bed on the living room floor with his blankets. In the end it still feels like he’s sleeping on the floor, but at least he’s not cold and he still has his pillow.
“You heading to bed already?” Mark asks as he throws a pillow and a blanket on the sofa.
“There’s not much else to do is there, especially when you can’t even see.”
“I know! We should tell horror stories,” Jackson grins as he bounces onto the sofa, knocking Mark’s pillow off.
“No need for stories when you could just look out a window. The entire world is a horror story,” Jaebum snorts derisively.
“Oh, don’t be so maudlin,” Jackson aims a kick at his leg.
“Who’s maudlin?” Jaebum blocks his kick with his arm and aims his own strike at Jackson.
“I’m not really in the mood for horror stories.” The last thing Youngjae wants to do is psyche himself out. “I think I will just try to sleep.”
Three heads turn towards Jackson at the sound of a single clap. “You know what, now that I think about it, I actually don’t feel for horror stories either. I just thought of something much better to do. Good night!” Jackson skips off to his room and shuts his door behind him.
“Okay then. Well, I had a nap earlier, but I’m still tired, and it’s probably best to get as much rest as possible now, so I’m gonna turn in as well. See you in the morning,” Jaebum waves as he heads in the opposite direction to Youngjae’s room.
After Jaebum leaves, Mark and Youngjae are left in silence in the living room. Youngjae flops onto his ‘bed’, laying his head on his pillow and watching as the deep orange light first turns bright purple then morphs into a deep blue that darkens until he can’t see the light fixture hanging above him anymore.
“Mark?” he whispers in the dark.
“Yeah?” Mark’s breathing has been slow and even but his voice lacks any grogginess.
“What’s L.A. like?”
“It’s amazing really,” Mark sighs.
“I hear there are nice beaches there.”
“‘Nice’ is an understatement. When I lived there, I went to the beach all the time and I never got tired of it. The water was always cool and clear, a nice contrast to the muggy heat in the air.”
“Did you ever go surfing on the waves?”
“I tried, but I wasn’t very good at it. I could barely get my feet on the board,” Mark laughs quietly. “No, skateboarding was my stereotypical Cali-boy sport.”
“How can you be good at skateboarding, but bad at surfing?” Youngjae asks incredulously.
“They’re not exactly the same you know. A surfboard is much more slippery than a skateboard and the ground doesn’t move like it has a mind of its own the way the sea does.”
“You think we could find a skateboard out there?” Youngjae asks, his eyelids feeling heavier and heavier.
“Yeah, maybe,” Mark yawns. “I could show you some of my tricks.”
“And take me for a ride,” Youngjae mumbles, his eyes falling closed.
“I don’t think a board is strong enough to carry the both of us…”
“Figure it out,” Youngjae murmurs, already asleep.
Although he’s not much of a morning person, Youngjae ends up being the first one awake the next morning. He carefully eases himself to his feet, smiling to himself as he glances down at Mark who’s sleeping with his cheek pressed to the sofa, his mouth slightly open. After he brushes his teeth, he heads over to the window and checks the sky. It’s cloudy and grey, but it’s not raining. Youngjae sighs, not sure if the churning in his stomach is hunger, dread, or anticipation.
When it’s finally time to leave, Youngjae spends his last few minutes in the apartment just walking around, his hand idly brushing furniture and books and light fixtures and sinks and all the other things he used as an anchor for normality. They might take shelter in some other place that also has these things, but they won’t be Youngjae’s things or Jackson’s things. He’s already mourning the loss for running water and a nice soft bed, and the security of being able to sleep at night without fear of being attacked.
“You having second thoughts?” Mark’s soft voice floats into his ears from the doorway to Youngjae’s room.
“No,” Youngjae shakes his head. As much as Youngjae is going to miss this dingy little box of an apartment that he’s lived in for the past two years, he can’t bear to stay here anymore either. It’s time he went over the top and crossed no man’s land.
“Come on then, it’s time to go,” Mark beckons. Youngjae closes the door behind him with one last glance inside. Jackson and Jaebum are outside already, makign sure that the staircase is clear. Youngjae is the last person to leave, locking the door behind him, taping a note to it, and slipping the key underneath the mat in front of the door.
part three
Pairings: Mark/Youngjae, Jackson/JB
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~4.6k
Summary: After the outbreak, Youngjae was sure that he lost everything, his friends, his family, his former life. He was right, but he was also wrong. He's suffered loss yes, but he also ends up gaining as well.
A/N: I got this chapter done a lot quicker than I originally thought I would've. It was also originally much longer so I decided to split it.
part one
He had considered the possibility of one of those things trying to get into his flat just before he left to scavenge for food, but even though he locked the door behind them, he honestly never thought it would happen. Maybe he unconsciously felt that Mark and Jaebum’s presence would ward them away, shielding his little haven. It sounds naïve even to his own ears; Jaebum was well within his rights to question Youngjae’s ability to adapt to the current world order. The thumping continues and Youngjae is just about to run to get Mark when he hears something unexpected-his name.
“Youngjae? Youngjae, are you in there? I’ve lost my keys…”
“Jackson!” Youngjae would be taken aback at how unfazed Jackson sounds-like he just drooped his keys in somebody else’s car after a wild night out on the town-if he weren’t already reeling at the fact that he’s alive.
“Youngjae?! You’re here!” Youngjae can practically hear the older boy beam through the door.
“What’s going on?” Mark asks, but for once Youngjae ignores him, focusing on getting his hands to stop shaking so he can get the door unlocked. The lock barely slides out before the door is swinging open and the breath is knocked out of Youngjae as a very familiar body crashes into him, wrapping its arms around him and laughing gleefully into his ear. Youngjae wheezes out a laugh, his cheeks aching from smiling and his eyes squeezed shut to keep the tears from spilling out as he’s lifted off his feet and spun around.
“Oh my God, I can’t believe it!” Youngjae has never been so happy to hear Jackson’s high-pitched giggle. “Boy, am I glad to see you!” Jackson finally stops spinning him and puts him back on his feet, but doesn’t release his hold. He’s forced to though, when a bat is lowered between them, pushing Youngjae back before it’s turned on Jackson. As Youngjae stumbles back, hands reach out and grab his shoulders, stabilising him, but also keeping him in place.
“Strip,” Jaebum says curtly, gesturing to Jackson with the end of his bat.
“Oh wow, that’s a bit a forward isn’t it? We haven’t even exchanged names,” Jackson chuckles, but he raises his hands non-threateningly in front of his body.
“You’ve clearly had encounters while you were out there,” Jaebum says, his eyes darting over Jackson’s blood stained clothing. Youngjae blinks as he notices that Jackson is decked out in his fencing gear, his face mask lying by his feet. “I need to see that you’ve not been bitten. Now strip.”
“Why would I put Youngjae in danger by seeking him out if I had been bitten?” Jackson crosses his arms over his chest, all traces of mirth gone from his face.
“I’m not going to ask you again,” Jaebum says lowly, moving his bat significantly. Youngjae makes to step forward, but is held back by Mark’s deceptively strong grip. Youngjae glances back at him in surprise, but Mark’s gaze is focused on Jackson.
“Just do what he says. We learnt this lesson once already,” Mark says plainly. Jackson sighs and rolls his eyes, but thankfully he complies with their demand, tugging off his protective jacket, plastron, and the white t-shirt beneath it. He holds out his bare arms and turns around to display his back, pausing to flex his muscles. Youngjae can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of him at the sight. Jackson throws a grin and a wink over his shoulder at Youngjae’s reaction. Youngjae jumps a bit as Mark’s fingers press into his skin a bit harder.
“Pants next,” Jaebum says firmly. Jackson smirks before he toes off his trainers and starts removing his breeches, slowly pulling down the shoulder straps.
“If you thought my torso was impressive, just wait until you see my thighs. I’ll give you some time to prepare yourselves.” Jaebum frowns and tilts his head as Jackson pauses for a moment before he finally kicks off his pants, spins around in nothing but his socks and his underwear, and strikes a pose. Jaebum ignores his theatrics, his eyes scanning the length of his body four times before he’s satisfied.
“Alright, he’s clear,” Jaebum lowers his bat at last, but Mark keeps his hands on Youngjae’s shoulders.
“Don’t you need to see the rest?” Jackson asks with a sly grin, his thumbs dipping into the waistband of his underwear. Jaebum’s eyes narrow like he’s seriously considering telling him to do it, but Mark speaks up first.
“No, that won’t be necessary.”
“Are you sure?” Jackson waggles his eyebrows.
“Weren’t you the one who was just complaining about having to strip before?” Jaebum asks in a bewildered voice. Jackson shrugs innocently, a grin tugging at his lips until his eyes start to roam over Jaebum’s chest and then down the length of Jaebum’s body.
“Those clothes you’re wearing, they look awfully familiar,” Jackson is frowning now.
“They should, they’re yours,” Jaebum says casually. A vein jumps in Jackson’s neck.
“So, you went inside my room and stole some of my clothes?” Jackson bares his teeth in that forced smile he does when he’s trying not to lose his temper.
“No, Youngjae went inside your room and gave me some of your clothes.” Jackson’s head swivels towards Youngjae who winces at the look on his face, stepping back to hide behind Mark with a mumbled apology. “I was actually in your room just now trying to find something else to take, but I hadn’t made any headway yet,” Jaebum smiles blandly. Jackson laughs lowly, his tongue stroking the inside of one cheek.
“Look, sorry for going through your stuff, dude, but we kind of thought that you wouldn’t need them anymore. If you’ve been out there for any amount of time, you should know what I mean,” Mark speaks up at last in his deep, soothing voice, his hands held up in a pacifying manner.
“You know, I wasn’t sure of it before, but I think hear it now. Korean isn’t your first language right?” Jackson squints, a hand coming up to stroke his chin.
“Uh no, it’s English,” Mark says in English, blinking a bit.
“Cool, me too!” Jackson’s eyes light up as he bounces on the balls of his feet. “Well, not the first but I speak it well.”
“Um, that’s great, I guess,” Mark chuckles a bit, looking confused but also charmed despite himself. Youngjae can relate.
“What’s your name and where are you from?”
“Uh, Mark and L.A.”
“Mark saved my life earlier,” Youngjae pipes up.
“Did you? Oh wow. Thanks for looking out for Youngjae while I was gone,” Jackson steps up to Mark and pulls him into a tight hug, swinging him from side to side.
“And Jaebum helped!” Youngjae says, pointing to the man whose eyebrow has been climbing steadily higher into his hairline as the scene has progressed. Before Jaebum can open his mouth to deny it, Jackson is on him, pulling him into a hug too.
“Aww you like to come off as being Mr. Tough and Intimidating, but really you’re a good guy, aren’t you?” Jackson pats his back hard. Jaebum jumps, trying to squirm out of his hold. Youngjae isn’t sure if it’s because Jackson is holding him so tightly or because Jackson is still dressed in nothing but underwear, socks, and a smile, or if it’s a combination of both. Eventually he just gives up and waits for Jackson to let go. “So, what’s been going on while I was away?” Jackson asks when he finally releases Jaebum.
“Nothing much happened until today. Before that I was just here, bored and alone, but then I left to try and find some more food, got into trouble, and then got rescued,” Youngjae says with a hand wave at Mark and Jaebum. “Yeah, I just sat here doing nothing before; had nothing to do and no-one to talk to,” Youngjae mumbles, taking quick, deep breaths.
As the excitement from their reunion wears off, it weighs on Youngjae’s heart now just how much he was certain that he wasn’t going to see Jackson again. It’s ridiculous to be upset now that he can see that the other man is physically fine and as spirited as he ever was, but knowing that doesn’t stop water form gathering in his eyes or leaking out his nose.
“Hey, what’s-?” Jackson’s question stops short as Youngjae crashes into him, burying his face in Jackson’s neck, his hands grabbing at his back. Youngjae feels Jackson flinch when his tears start trickling down his bare skin.
“Hey, it’s alright. I’m alright. Did you miss me that much? Sorry it took so long for me to come back. It must’ve been so dull without me, but I’m back now,” Jackson whispers soothingly into his ear, his hands coming up to hold Youngjae and stroke his back. Even if Youngjae wanted to speak, the mucous building up in his throat has sealed the words in, so he just leas on Jackson, sobbing and sniffing into his neck.
“It’s alright, I’m here now.”
Youngjae’s eyes ache as he blinks groggily, a dull throbbing in his head making him groan as he sits up. For a second he doesn’t know where he is, but a few blinks later he starts to recognise the framed high school diploma on the wall, the small wooden bookcase and the duvet that covers the lower half of his body. He’s in his bedroom. Youngjae blinks and frowns in confusion. How did he go from an unlikely reunion with Jackson to falling asleep in his room? Calling on his memory, images of grabbing Jackson and weeping into his shoulder slowly filter through his mind. Did he really cry himself to sleep? Like a goddamned baby?
“Really? How humiliating!” Youngjae groans while flopping backwards onto his bed. As he lies there, sounds from the next room squeeze their way through the space under his door, their broken fragments floating up into his ears. He can’t make out any words, but he does hear what sounds like laughter. More sound bursts into the room as the door creaks open. Youngjae sits up to see two brown eyes peeking through the crack.
“Oh, you’re awake,” Mark notes, pushing the door open wider.
“Uh, yeah,” Youngjae croaks as he rubs his face, partially to rub the last traces of sleep out of his eyes and partially to wipe away any remaining tear trails.
“What happened while I was…out? Things were a bit awkward as far as I remember, but it seems like that’s all been smoothed over,” Youngjae says as Jackson’s high-pitched giggle bounces into his bedroom. Mark’s lips quirk up before he enters the room, closing the door behind him.
“Oh wow, it’s pretty dark in here with the curtains drawn. Would you mind opening them?” Mark asks as Youngjae listens to him fumble his way over to Youngjae’s bed.
“Um, okay,” Youngjae bites his lip.
Grabbing hold of the curtain, he pulls it to the side. Enough light filters into the room to make Mark’s trip easier than before, but not as much as Youngjae would expect for-a quick glance at his watch-twenty minutes past eleven in the morning. The sky overhead is completely grey, a light shower of rain dripping down from the heavens, clouds hanging heavily in the sky like a wet sponge that will release a flood water if someone squeezes it. It’s the kind of rain that’s reminiscent of Chinese water torture. Youngjae turns back as he feels the bed dip.
“You don’t have to be ashamed, you know,” Mark says as he sits down. “No-one thinks any lesser of you for, you know,” Mark waves his hand in the general direction of Youngjae’s face. Youngjae can’t help but cringe and drop his gaze. As kind as he’s being about his emotional outburst, Youngjae would’ve preferred that he pretend it didn’t happen. Mark is either really perceptive or telepathic because he drops the issue and answers Youngjae’s question.
“Not a whole lot has happened. It’s just been Jackson firing questions at us and Jaebum scurrying to answer them.”
“They seem to be getting along,” Youngjae notes as more fragmented laughter slips under his door.
“Yeah, your, uh, roommate is very…personable,” Mark chuckles. Youngjae beams back at him.
“I know, right? He makes it so easy love him.” Mark’s smile falters a bit before it’s back full-force.
“Right. Well, I’m happy for you. That you were, uh, able to find each other,” Mark nods and pats Youngjae on the arm before he eases himself off Youngjae’s bed. Youngjae follows after him, stretching as he pads into the living room.
“Youngjae, you’re awake!” Jackson grins, holding out an arm. He’s freshly showered and dressed in a black shirt and baggy black pants. Youngjae automatically folds himself into Jackson’s side and lays his head on the older man’s shoulder.
“So, Jaebum’s been telling me that you mean to push off with him and Mark.” Youngjae sits up, finding himself fumbling for words.
“Um, well, that was before I knew you were, you know-”
“Relax, don’t look so panicked. I’m coming too,” Jackson laughs as he rests a hand on Youngjae’s head and pushes back down to rest on his shoulder.
“Oh,” Youngjae blinks, the tension vanishing out of his as quickly as it materialised.
“Yeah, Jaebum already went through the drill. Blah, blah, do what I say. Blah, blah, you need a weapon. Blah, blah, call me ‘Daddy’.” Jaebum sits up in his seat.
“I never said that!” he chokes out, his face reddening.
“Dude, do you ever listen to yourself? You may as well have ‘Master’ tattooed across your forehead,” Jackson chuckles.
“Shut up,” Jaebum snaps without any real heat.
“Yes, Master,” Jackson simpers. Jaebum narrows his eyes and presses his lips together, but that doesn’t stop the corner of his mouth form turning up. “Haha, you kinky bastard!” Jackson cackles. Youngjae can’t help but laugh at the look on his face. It’s almost weird to remember that not too long ago he was nearly pissing himself in fear as Jaebum loomed over him.
“You know I think I saw something in your room that I’d like to spit on. Excuse me for a moment,” Jaebum drawls as he marches over to Jackson’s room.
“That is so not funny, Jaebum. I mean it. Don’t you dare, asshole!” Jackson jumps up and chases after him. Youngjae’s smile falters as he notices the dark look on Mark’s face.
“Hey, are you alright?”
“What? Yeah, I’m fine,” Mark blinks, his expression clearing.
“You looked really upset though,” Youngjae says unsurely.
“It’s just…Doesn’t it upset you? To see Jackson flirt so openly with Jaebum?” Mark mumbles under his breath, glancing over at Jackson’s bedroom door.
“No, of course not. Why would it upset me?” Youngjae chuckles. Somehow Mark looks even more confused at his answer.
“You mean you…?” Mark’s eyes dart between Youngjae and Jackson’s door.
“I?” Youngjae tilts his head.
“Never mind,” Mark mumbles, shaking his head.
“When are we planning to shove out, by the way?” Jackson asks as he waddles back into the living room, Jaebum perched on his back. Mark’s eye twitches as he watches Jackson deposit Jaebum backwards onto the sofa, shifting around as he leans his full weight back on the other man. Mark’s mouth is turning down until he glances back at Youngjae and his face clears.
“I was thinking tomorrow or the day after,” says Jaebum’s slightly muffed voice.
“What if it’s still raining?” Jackson asks with the hint of a whine in his voice.
“So long as it’s not heavy, I’d say we leave anyway. Having a roof over my head and a soft, warm place to sleep is nice, but I don’t want to dally when there’s someplace even better out there.”
“Your friend’s place had better be good, Jaebum, with the way you keep gassing it up,” Jackson pouts as he leans his head back and rubs his hair in Jabeum’s face.
“At any rate this place would only be a viable hideout for so long. In the city we’d have to be constantly scavenging for preserved food, putting ourselves at risk each time we head out. Not to mention, we could end up boxed in here if enough of those things found us,” Mark speaks up.
“What are we going to do about food at your friend’s place?”
“We’d have the land to grow food and animals to hunt.”
“Until the winter, which is quickly approaching by the way-Hey!” Jackson yelps as he’s pushed off the sofa.
“Do remember that I never invited to come with us; you invited yourself. You could always un-invite yourself if you think our plan is that stupid,” Jaebum snaps.
“I never said it was stupid, I just don’t think there’s any point in going along with a plan if you haven’t mulled over all its weak points,” Jackson blinks up at Jaebum with a shrug.
“Fair enough,” Jaebum mutters, chewing on the inside of his cheek.
“I know it’s barely noon, but how are sleeping arrangements going to work? There are four of us but only two beds and one sofa,” Mark speaks up. “Should we draw lots or something?”
“Mark and Jaebum can play for the sofa, but there’s no way I’m giving up my bed,” Jackson says fiercely wagging his finger at the three of them.
“One of you can have my bed,” Youngjae says.
“Are you sure?” Mark asks.
“Yeah, I’m sure. While the three of you have been sleeping rough I’ve done nothing but sleep for the last few weeks. I should probably get used to sleeping on the floor from now on anyway,” Youngjae shrugs.
“Mark and Jabeum, you play for Youngjae’s bed,” Jackson says.
“Eh, Jaebum should have the bed. He’s missed more sleep than me,” Mark shrugs.
“Thanks,” Jaebum’s lips quirk up. Mark nods.
“That was anti-climactic,” Jackson sighs.
“There’ll be plenty of drama out there, no point in starting it now,” Mark leans over and flicks Jackson’s forehead. Jackson looks up with a maniacal grin.
“Ah~You initiated contact~” Jackson says in a sing-song voice before he jumps up and tackles a bewildered looking Mark to the floor. “You’ve been so quiet and you play your cards so close to your chest, but this whole time you’ve wanted me to play with you too, right?” Jackson laughs as he pins Mark with one hand and wiggles the fingers of his other hand up and down Mark’s side.
“Alright, that’s enough. Let him go,” Jaebum drawls from the sofa. Jackson pouts, but complies, sitting back to let Mark catch his breath.
“Are you just like this with everyone?” Mark laughs while shaking his head.
“Everyone I like,” Jackson says plainly.
“Okay, alright,” Mark pats Jackson on the shoulder before he rolls out from under him. Youngjae doesn’t know what it is about that exchange that has soothed Mark’s troubled mind, but from then on he stops making constipated faces at Jackson whenever he thinks no-one’s watching him.
“So, what now?” Jackson asks while cracking his knuckles.
“I guess we just continue going through what’s in here and pack for when we head out,” Mark says with a glance at Jaebum who nods, getting up off the sofa.
“Wait, I need to be there if you’re going to go through my stuff,” Jackson scampers to his feet, padding after Jaebum.
“Looks like it’s you and me,” Mark smiles.
“Right,” Youngjae feels his face warm up. “Well, you’re the expert, what do you suggest I pack?”
“A blanket, definitely. Also, you ought to layer your clothing to maximise space and protect you from the elements seeing as how it’s getting colder. Uh, we should bring whatever food and water we can carry, and I guess things like knives and matches round out the essentials.”
Youngjae stares at all the clothes he has, all the clothes he could fit into two suitcases, and he tries to decide which the warmest ones are. Eventually his mind starts to wander and his gaze drifts over to his bookcase. Even though he complained about having nothing new to read, he is tempted to take at least one novel with him. He shakes himself and focuses on the essentials; he’s not packing for a holiday and he has no idea if he’d even have the time to read anyway.
“Problem?” Mark asks from where he’s sitting on the bed.
“Uh, I guess I’m just worried about having to defend myself when I get out there,” Youngjae lies. He’d feel embarrassed to tell Mark the real reason for his hesitance, and he’s humiliated himself in front of Mark enough times for one day. “Like, a bat is easy to use, but I’ve never used it to attack someone before.”
“They’re not people, Youngjae-not anymore.” Youngjae chews on the inside of his bottom lip.
“Maybe, but either way I still don’t know how to kill them.”
“It’s simple. You just make sure you hold the bat tightly in your hands, keep it cocked back so you can bring it down or around in a swing in an instant, wait until you’re within arm’s length before you swing, and-this is vital-make sure you aim for the head. They don’t die if their brains aren’t destroyed.”
Youngjae nods absently, desperately trying to commit all of that to memory. It’s not exactly rocket science, but it’s hard not to get hung up on little details when it could mean the difference between life and death.
“Look, let me show you,” Mark gets off the bed and stands behind Youngjae, his hands lifting Youngjae’s arms into position. “Hands like this, holding the end of the bat.” Youngjae jumps a bit as the other man’s warm breath puffs against his ears, shifting the fine hair around it. “Something’s coming toward you right now. It’s getting closer, closer, it’s five steps away, almost, and…Now!” Mark swings his arms forward so hard Youngjae is forced to take a step forward.
“I’d advise you to stick with downward swings for now, they’re more likely to get it in one shot than a side hit,” Mark says, still pressed against Youngjae.
“Right. Thanks,” Youngjae breathes.
“Um, I should go make sure Jackson and Jaebum haven’t killed each other,” Mark says as he slowly lets go of Youngjae’s arms and backs out of the room.
“Right. I’ll keep packing,” Youngjae nods, idly rubbing his fingertips over his forearms.
That evening, as the sun sets, Youngjae makes a makeshift bed on the living room floor with his blankets. In the end it still feels like he’s sleeping on the floor, but at least he’s not cold and he still has his pillow.
“You heading to bed already?” Mark asks as he throws a pillow and a blanket on the sofa.
“There’s not much else to do is there, especially when you can’t even see.”
“I know! We should tell horror stories,” Jackson grins as he bounces onto the sofa, knocking Mark’s pillow off.
“No need for stories when you could just look out a window. The entire world is a horror story,” Jaebum snorts derisively.
“Oh, don’t be so maudlin,” Jackson aims a kick at his leg.
“Who’s maudlin?” Jaebum blocks his kick with his arm and aims his own strike at Jackson.
“I’m not really in the mood for horror stories.” The last thing Youngjae wants to do is psyche himself out. “I think I will just try to sleep.”
Three heads turn towards Jackson at the sound of a single clap. “You know what, now that I think about it, I actually don’t feel for horror stories either. I just thought of something much better to do. Good night!” Jackson skips off to his room and shuts his door behind him.
“Okay then. Well, I had a nap earlier, but I’m still tired, and it’s probably best to get as much rest as possible now, so I’m gonna turn in as well. See you in the morning,” Jaebum waves as he heads in the opposite direction to Youngjae’s room.
After Jaebum leaves, Mark and Youngjae are left in silence in the living room. Youngjae flops onto his ‘bed’, laying his head on his pillow and watching as the deep orange light first turns bright purple then morphs into a deep blue that darkens until he can’t see the light fixture hanging above him anymore.
“Mark?” he whispers in the dark.
“Yeah?” Mark’s breathing has been slow and even but his voice lacks any grogginess.
“What’s L.A. like?”
“It’s amazing really,” Mark sighs.
“I hear there are nice beaches there.”
“‘Nice’ is an understatement. When I lived there, I went to the beach all the time and I never got tired of it. The water was always cool and clear, a nice contrast to the muggy heat in the air.”
“Did you ever go surfing on the waves?”
“I tried, but I wasn’t very good at it. I could barely get my feet on the board,” Mark laughs quietly. “No, skateboarding was my stereotypical Cali-boy sport.”
“How can you be good at skateboarding, but bad at surfing?” Youngjae asks incredulously.
“They’re not exactly the same you know. A surfboard is much more slippery than a skateboard and the ground doesn’t move like it has a mind of its own the way the sea does.”
“You think we could find a skateboard out there?” Youngjae asks, his eyelids feeling heavier and heavier.
“Yeah, maybe,” Mark yawns. “I could show you some of my tricks.”
“And take me for a ride,” Youngjae mumbles, his eyes falling closed.
“I don’t think a board is strong enough to carry the both of us…”
“Figure it out,” Youngjae murmurs, already asleep.
Although he’s not much of a morning person, Youngjae ends up being the first one awake the next morning. He carefully eases himself to his feet, smiling to himself as he glances down at Mark who’s sleeping with his cheek pressed to the sofa, his mouth slightly open. After he brushes his teeth, he heads over to the window and checks the sky. It’s cloudy and grey, but it’s not raining. Youngjae sighs, not sure if the churning in his stomach is hunger, dread, or anticipation.
When it’s finally time to leave, Youngjae spends his last few minutes in the apartment just walking around, his hand idly brushing furniture and books and light fixtures and sinks and all the other things he used as an anchor for normality. They might take shelter in some other place that also has these things, but they won’t be Youngjae’s things or Jackson’s things. He’s already mourning the loss for running water and a nice soft bed, and the security of being able to sleep at night without fear of being attacked.
“You having second thoughts?” Mark’s soft voice floats into his ears from the doorway to Youngjae’s room.
“No,” Youngjae shakes his head. As much as Youngjae is going to miss this dingy little box of an apartment that he’s lived in for the past two years, he can’t bear to stay here anymore either. It’s time he went over the top and crossed no man’s land.
“Come on then, it’s time to go,” Mark beckons. Youngjae closes the door behind him with one last glance inside. Jackson and Jaebum are outside already, makign sure that the staircase is clear. Youngjae is the last person to leave, locking the door behind him, taping a note to it, and slipping the key underneath the mat in front of the door.
part three