Losing my nerve
School started two weeks ago. Most people in the program have a host school already. They started going to their schools last week.
I haven't gotten mine yet. I've been told this is normal, as a lot of schools don't even start until tomorrow. But just about everyone I know in the program has a school. I'm still here twiddling my thumbs. I have a feeling something got mixed up, because I was informed I'm getting into my first choice district, "Tustin." Tustin was not my first choice. It wasn't any of my choices. I don't know who they got me mixed up with, but I did NOT request Tustin and I don't know why they're sending me there. But Tustin hasn't started yet so that's why it's taking so long.
I know it's just all this waiting, but I'm starting to have second thoughts about all this. What if I really suck at teaching? What if the kids don't listen to me? What if I don't know the material for the grade I'm assigned? What if the staff treats me like a kid because I have a young face? What if I can't handle the drive every day? What if what if what if. What if this is the biggest mistake I have ever made?
It's killing me.
I haven't gotten mine yet. I've been told this is normal, as a lot of schools don't even start until tomorrow. But just about everyone I know in the program has a school. I'm still here twiddling my thumbs. I have a feeling something got mixed up, because I was informed I'm getting into my first choice district, "Tustin." Tustin was not my first choice. It wasn't any of my choices. I don't know who they got me mixed up with, but I did NOT request Tustin and I don't know why they're sending me there. But Tustin hasn't started yet so that's why it's taking so long.
I know it's just all this waiting, but I'm starting to have second thoughts about all this. What if I really suck at teaching? What if the kids don't listen to me? What if I don't know the material for the grade I'm assigned? What if the staff treats me like a kid because I have a young face? What if I can't handle the drive every day? What if what if what if. What if this is the biggest mistake I have ever made?
It's killing me.