Shitty night
Had a really crappy night at work, so at lunch I went out to my car and just started writing. it ended up as a stream of consciousness type thing. Its not very good, but its not meant to be, I just felt like sharing it because it explains pretty well what was going through my head. Opinions are welcome, but not required. If you like it, say so. If not, whatever.
A joke, a cry, a laugh, a sob
These things all at the same time
Somethings fucked in my mind
A smile to hide my pain
Mirth to hide the dark thoughts in my brain
Shes a force of nature
A wave, uncapturable, unstoppable
An emotion, a sensation
My dark times
My good times
My hope, my hurt
My heart forever changed
I can never be the same
The world moves beneath me
Black skies above me
God? A lie
There is no love
All in black
My emotions spied
I cannot hide
All should know my pain
But in this place I don't belong
Too kind, too harsh
Too shy, too loud
Its not me, its me
Who am I?
I wish I knew
Its not me, its my sex
I cannot change
We cannot be
I cannot live
You cannot love
Content to enjoy my dreams
Never a reality
My dream world shattered
My high now low
So I sit here music playing
Heart bleeding ink on paper
Mind tearing itself apart
Feelings run wild
Compared to her a child
No friends for comfort
Emotional contagion
Spread unease like a disease
My dark curse
Abomination
Scattered on post-its
Shards of my soul
Littering intellectual lounges
Wannabe poet
Stream of Consciousness
Failing miserably
Like everything else in my life, it sucks
Yes, I realize "uncapturable" is not a word. But thats what came out of my head while I was writing, so it stays.
Story behind it is this. The girl at work from my last post? I never even got a chance to ask her. Someone I work with, who I had confided in, came up to me today and said "hey, you know that girl you like? Shes a lesbian." and then walked off. It kinda ruined my night.
A joke, a cry, a laugh, a sob
These things all at the same time
Somethings fucked in my mind
A smile to hide my pain
Mirth to hide the dark thoughts in my brain
Shes a force of nature
A wave, uncapturable, unstoppable
An emotion, a sensation
My dark times
My good times
My hope, my hurt
My heart forever changed
I can never be the same
The world moves beneath me
Black skies above me
God? A lie
There is no love
All in black
My emotions spied
I cannot hide
All should know my pain
But in this place I don't belong
Too kind, too harsh
Too shy, too loud
Its not me, its me
Who am I?
I wish I knew
Its not me, its my sex
I cannot change
We cannot be
I cannot live
You cannot love
Content to enjoy my dreams
Never a reality
My dream world shattered
My high now low
So I sit here music playing
Heart bleeding ink on paper
Mind tearing itself apart
Feelings run wild
Compared to her a child
No friends for comfort
Emotional contagion
Spread unease like a disease
My dark curse
Abomination
Scattered on post-its
Shards of my soul
Littering intellectual lounges
Wannabe poet
Stream of Consciousness
Failing miserably
Like everything else in my life, it sucks
Yes, I realize "uncapturable" is not a word. But thats what came out of my head while I was writing, so it stays.
Story behind it is this. The girl at work from my last post? I never even got a chance to ask her. Someone I work with, who I had confided in, came up to me today and said "hey, you know that girl you like? Shes a lesbian." and then walked off. It kinda ruined my night.