Wrist-Cut Show Chapter Eight
Lost?:
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Interlude
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight *new*
Author’s Notes:
The first chapter of this story was posted June 20th 2006. That was one month before I got together with my boyfriend. Ever since then, I’ve been horribly distracted by him. I’m a terrible procrastinator and that’s why it’s already March 15, 2008 and I’m only on the eighth chapter. So I apologize. I have ten billion excuses to list, um, I’d like to blame all my high school teachers for all their homework they have given over this past year and college for being so terribly hard to arrange and plan for with tons of forms to fill out and tests to take. I’d also like to blame all the videogames that have ever distracted me and made me spent hours playing them instead of working on something productive. Overall, I’d like to blame my boyfriend for making me so happy that I couldn’t connect with Kyo’s character very well. I love you, sweetie. You kill my angst.
Also, terribly sorry to Kyo fans, not much of him in here. He's gonna be taking up the most of everything after this, so bear with this chapter. I'll try to be more punctual!!
Wrist-Cut Show Chapter Eight
:-:-:
Because we have tears
We also have dreams
Because we have nothing
We also have a future
:-:-:
Die did not go to school that day.
Rather, he skipped despite the fact that Kaoru had dropped him off. Die spent his time on the roof of the school instead. He had other things on his mind. He didn’t want to study algebra or history because he had better things to do with his life and he was starting to feel the need to escape growing inside of him.
He’d actually been planning something for a while. He had some ideas of what he was going to do. First of all, he needed a job so that he could start making some money. He could no longer rely on his friends or Kaoru to pay for things. Granted he could mooch some alcohol or cigarettes off of them rather easily, but what he wanted couldn’t be mooched.
Sitting on the roof of the school, overlooking the bustling city he began to see things differently than he had in a long time. Then again, he was actually sober for once, so that could be a big factor affecting it, but Die liked to think it was because that he was starting to become more mature. To be completely honest, he really had been too irresponsible, even for him. He had always been accepting things from Kaoru while offering nothing in return. It was a surprise that Kaoru hadn’t gotten completely frustrated with him and kicked him out.
His feelings for Kaoru, which had always been so confused and focused mostly on Die’s sexual desires, seemed to have obscured his vision. When was the last time Die had done something for Kaoru? Why the hell would Kaoru be interested in a leech? He was not going to make progress this way.
Die could feel excitement begin to build. His stomach was fluttering, thinking about Kaoru and how things could be. If he quit school, Kaoru wouldn’t have to spend so much time working. Life could get better. Kaoru could be less tired, happier. Die could help pay for things. They could actually go out and do things every once and a while instead of Die just running off to one of his other friends’ house when he wanted to get wasted.
The way that Die saw it, if he dropped school, a waste of his time anyway, he’d get a job and save for his own guitar. He had no passion for anything else and it would be nice not to always borrow Kaoru’s equipment. He could become serious. He could make something of his life; make his father regret that he’d ever disowned his only son.
However, getting a job wasn’t as easy as just thinking it. Die had no experience and his appearance alone made him ineligible for many jobs. Apparently, many people didn’t appreciate his sense of style. Die disagreed. He though his long red hair and dark style made him more interesting and stand out from the crowd. However, most employers didn’t want him to stand out. They just wanted him to look like everyone else. They said it made their customers ‘feel comfortable.’
Earlier, he had asked around the area where the school was but only found that most people weren’t hiring. He had finally had luck at a restaurant named Hara Sushi Wonderland, a family owned sushi bar that was falling on hard times. It offered little promise, but Die decided to check it out anyway, seeing as any money would be better than none. Hopefully, they wouldn’t mind how he looked.
After he had finished a couple cigarettes and had thought for a while, he decided to actually go out and do something. The lady he had seen at the restaurant had asked him to come back another day during the morning. This was about a good a time as any to visit and see if they would hire him. He felt confident that he had nothing to lose.
The place wasn’t far from the school. It was just a few streets over, in the more commercial part of the city. It actually wasn’t too far from Kaoru’s apartment either, so it would be rather a convenient place to work. He reached it within ten minutes of a brisk walk. It looked okay from outside, a little dusty and little old-fashioned, but Die supposed it could have its own personal charm to those who like those kinds of things. He entered the restaurant and was greeted by who he supposed was the grandmother of the family. She had a wrinkly face and a bright smile with horribly crooked teeth. Besides her and the middle aged woman working behind the counter, who he supposed to be her daughter or daughter-in-law, there was only one customer.
“Welcome to Hara Sushi Wonderland,” she pronounced putting extra emphasis on ‘Wonderland’, handing him a brochure. It was no wonder that they didn’t get much business. That lady was frickin’ scary.
He smiled nicely despite her appearance. “I’m actually here for an interview,” He explained, handing her back the brochure with a sympathetic look on his face. She had actually looked excited at the prospect of another customer.
She clapped her hands together, not at all fazed by the change. She actually looked even more excited. “Oh yes. Let me go get my son.”
She turned around and yelled, “Toshi!! There’s a nice young man for you!”
Upon the yell, a man emerged from the back room dressed in a traditional chef’s outfit. He looked to be in his mid-fifties and he was the sort of man who got skinner instead of wider the older he grew. This place was full of old people. Die wondered perhaps if they had a daughter or a son who worked here after school hours. That would make things more interesting, but then again, a job’s a job.
“Hello, I’m Toshimistu Hara, owner and chef,” He greeted happily, bowing slightly to Die. “You’re here for the interview, I’m guessing?”
Die bowed slightly back. “Yes, I’m Daisuke Ando.”
The man smiled widely, showing off his own set of crooked teeth. Die was starting to think that it ran in their family.
“You’re hired. Congratulations!” He said, stepping forward to shake his hand energetically.
Die looked surprised. “What? But, uh sir, don’t you want to get to know me more?” He asked in disbelief.
Toshi laughed. “I’m the sort of person who can tell who a person is just by looking. You’re young, healthy and strong and that’s all that matters. But besides that, I can tell you have good intentions.” Toshi sighed and then turned to the woman behind the counter.
“This is my wife, Keiko. She helps in the kitchen.” Keiko smiled and bowed, then continued to clean one of the counters. “And this is my mother, Kiko, she was standing in as a greeter, but I think you’ll be filling in as that position.”
Toshi then took him aside and said “She’s not the most welcoming sight, is she? It’ll be a lot better for business to have someone young like you. Bring some life back into this place.”
Die nodded, happy that he had not had to prove anything to these people. They seemed nice.
“My son is a bit errant and hasn’t been filling in for his duties as waiter, so you might have to cover that sometimes,” He said, sorrowfully, but then his demeanor turned cheerful again. “But I promise I pay well for good help!”
Die nodded again. This guy sure liked to talk. Die hadn’t been able to ask any questions yet.
“Can you start tomorrow? Business usually picks up as the week progresses, so we’ll start having a few more customers.”
“Yes, I-” He just managed to say before Toshi continued.
“Good! Well, be here tomorrow around 15:00? Splendid! I’ll have your outfit ready by then. You can change here.”
:-:-:
Die returned to the apartment after Toshi had finished explaining all his duties to him and treated him to a cup of green tea. Die wasn’t sure how to feel about the job, but he supposed it wouldn’t be too difficult and Toshi was very generous about paying, especially considering they didn’t seem to have much business. He had been given a long history of the restaurant, how it had been originally founded by Toshi’s great grandfather and how it was passed down to the oldest male of their family. Die had tried to listen politely but he had grown sleepy and spent most of the time sipping his tea and thinking about Kaoru.
He had left suddenly though, once he looked over at the clock and realizing that it was nearing the end of the school day. He had wanted to get home and practice some before Kaoru got home. Die had apologized and left promptly, finding the walk back to the apartment slightly longer but still refreshing.
Once he reached the outside door to the apartment he noticed a woman waiting outside. Her hair was curled and splashed about her face. She was of moderate height, very thin and with a facial structure similar to his but much more feminine. Upon seeing him, she quickly rushed over, a worried expression on her face.
“Little brother, I’ve been so worried about you,” she scolded, wrapping her arms around him in a rather forceful hug. He gently hugged her back. He hadn’t realized how long it had been since he’d seen his half-sister.
“Reiko, how yah been?” he asked casually. She smacked him lightly on the shoulder.
“Don’t act so casual. Two months without a word. Didn’t even know where you were staying till I asked around your school. Even then I had to twist a few arms to get an address.”
“Father didn’t tell you?” Die said with a sneer. He turned and entered the apartment building, Reiko following.
“Father won’t say a word about you. According to him, he’s lost you, just like your mother. And he’s too preoccupied with Naori. It seems she’s pregnant now.”
Die paused at the door to the apartment and sighed, digging through his pocket for his key. “You’d think that he’d get tired of kids after five of them. Geez, the man’s too old for this,” He commented, finding the key finally.
Reiko snorted. “Yeah, well, his wives have always been young enough and he never stayed with them for that long, except…”
“My mother…” Die finished her sentence.
Reiko smiled. “Well, enough of that depressing stuff; I want to know more about how you’re doing and who this guy you’re living with is!”
“You sure are nosey,” Die commented as they stepped into the apartment and Reiko looked around with dismay.
“Andou Daisuke, what the hell is this?” she asked incredulously.
Die grinned and said, “Home.”
:-:-:
Reiko sat down on the couch as Die prepared some coffee for them. She was an addict, so he prepared it strong. He liked his half-sister a great deal. She was the closest to him in age, eight years difference, his other 3 half-sisters, from two different mothers, had never really been that interested in him since he had been pretty much a little kid when they were around. However, Reiko had always taken care of him and been a steady influence in his life when his father neglected him and after his mother had died. Besides that, she had always accepted him the way he was and had fought fiercely with their father when he kicked Die out.
He handed her a cup of coffee and sat down beside her with his own. He had, more or less, forgotten all about his family and was starting to feel bad that he had not wrote to her as he said he would when he found a place to stay. Die knew that she had given him her address for more than just that though. He knew that she had given to him so he could have a place to go just in case.
“So, you’re living with Kaoru now?” she inquired casually, motioning to his stuff which was scattered around and interspersed with Die’s. She had had a hunch as soon as she had heard he’d moved in with another guy, but she hadn’t been completely sure who it was. She had always seen him hanging around Kaoru though, which had made their father especially angry. Die had defied him anyway.
Die nodded to confirm these suspicions, but said nothing to explain it further.
“You guys always were so close, I guess it’d just make sense that you’d end up together,” She commented happily.
Die coughed. “We’re not exactly ‘together’ in that sense,” he corrected, and she noted a small bit of melancholy in his voice.
Reiko looked curiously at him, trying hard to read his thoughts. “I’m sorry. I just assumed because I could tell how you like him all these years.”
Die sighed. “He’s taken…by some girl. I don’t remember her name because she doesn’t like to come around me. Not after I locked her out of the apartment naked.”
“Oh.” Reiko was silent for a moment. She let a small smile come across her face. Die would do something like that. He was the jealous type. “Well, that’s no reason to give up hope. Doesn’t mean Kaoru actually likes the girl. Does he ever talk about her?”
Die looked thoughtful for a moment, playing with a guitar pick that he found on the table. “Not really. I don’t even think he’s gone out to see her in a long time. I hadn’t really thought about it. I try not to.”
Reiko smiled brightly. “See, there’s no reason to worry. I have a good feeling about you two and you know how my feelings usually go.”
Die broke out in a grin at her words. “Yeah, they usually mean there’s trouble ahead and you’re the one causing it.”
Reiko smacked him lightly again. “I really did miss you, Die.” There was a vein of sincerity in her voice that warmed Die, but he didn’t acknowledge it.
Die stretched back on the couch, putting his feet on the messy table in front of the couch. “Yeah, most people do.”
Reiko laughed a little, but then her face became more serious. “But, I am worried about you. As good of a guy as Kaoru is, I’m not sure you should really be living here. How are you even paying for school?”
Die’s smiled disappeared. “Well, Kaoru was paying for it up till now, but I decided to quit and get a job. “
Reiko opened her mouth to complain, but Die quickly silenced her by saying, “I know, I know. You’re gonna tell me to not to, but I don’t really have many options. If things keep going the way they are, Kaoru will eventually get tired of it and I won’t have a place to go. As much as you might want to offer me a place, I know that you’re having a hard time of it yourself and would be in no better position to take care of me. I’m nearly 17 and I’ve got no future where school takes me. My best bet is to quit now and start making something of my life, before I get old.”
“Kaoru hasn’t been influencing you in this decision has he? Don’t you see where he is? Do you want to end up the same as him?” Reiko advised in concern.
Die sighed, wishing that she could just see things the way that he did. “You only see him now, working for a measly pay, a high school dropout. Well, you’re wrong. That’s not what he is. This moment doesn’t define him forever. If anyone would know that, it’s me. I’ve been living with him these past couple months and I can see things in him. I know he’s going places; this is only the moment before it all happens. And I want to go with him. I want to be the one that believes in him.”
Reiko looked incredulous at such claims. “But what are you going to do with your life? Kaoru may get somewhere, but that doesn’t mean you will. What is it that you want?”
Die let a small smile come over his features. “I want to be with him. I want to be part of what he does. I’m going to start practicing. I’m not good enough at guitar yet to impress him, but I will. Then we’ll form a band together and we’ll be famous.”
“And if that doesn’t happen?” Reiko asked. She didn’t like being so pessimistic, but she didn’t want her brother’s heart to be broken.
Die sighed and buried his face in his hands. “If I don’t try this, I’ll regret it forever. I know I can do it. And if it fails, at least I won’t regret not trying. I can’t live with myself if I just let life take me along without ever trying to change it. I don’t like where it’s taking me now, so I gotta do something.”
“I’ve never heard you talk so seriously before,” Reiko said, partly in wonder and partially in worry. She thought for a second before answering. “If this is what you feel you must do, then I won’t stop you.”
Die smiled happily at her. “Thanks, sis. I knew you’d understand.” She had always come through for him.
“However,” she paused, giving him a mock look of disappointment, “You really need to keep this place cleaner. Eessh, you’d think it would have to be cleaner with a gay guy living here.” Picking up a pair of his pants that had been lying in the middle of the living room, she wrinkled her nose in disgust.
“That’s stereotyping, sis,” He remarked tetchily, grabbing the pants and tossing them back down in their rightful place. He had everything organized, damn it. Why did no one understand that?
“Besides, we should probably just get out of the apartment and have some dinner, if you don’t mind buying,” He commented, trying to change the subject, his belly grumbling. It would be nice to have a real meal for once instead of just having cheap food.
She nodded her head in agreement. It had been a while since she had seen her brother and they should celebrate it. “As long as Kaoru comes along. I don’t know him that well and I want to know just exactly what kind of man my little brother is in love with.” She teased playfully.
Die pouted in response, crossing his arms. “I’m not in love with him,” He answered stubbornly.
Reiko raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really? Than how would you describe it?”
Die was silent and Reiko beamed triumphantly. “Stop being embarrassed. Love is a nice thing, remember? Not many people in our family have had the chance.”
“Unrequited love is quite a different thing and it’s not quite so nice. There’s been plenty of that in the family,” He said rather unenthusiastically.
Reiko smiled in the way that said she thought he was being ridiculous. “Just wait for me to decide whether or not it’s unrequited. You shouldn’t give up hope so soon. And, by the way, when is he coming home?” she asked trying to encourage him and change the subject so that he wouldn’t dwell on it.
“It should be soon, he gets off work at four,” Die responded. “Just promise me you won’t completely terrorize him?”
Reiko grinned. “I make no promises I can’t keep.”
:-:-:
Kaoru entered the apartment to find that it was much cleaner than it had been when he left, which was never a good sign. It usually meant that something was very wrong or a girl had been over. He noticed another pair of shoes, feminine shoes, so that at least told him that it was only a girl. Still, it confused him. Die had never brought a girl over before. The boy was, after all, gay, so it didn’t really make sense. Maybe one of Kaoru’s old girlfriends had shown up. Sometimes they did that and it made Die positively livid for the next week for reasons that Kaoru couldn’t quite ascertain. However, the presence of a female reminded him of that girl he met today, what was her name, Aiko Fujima, that was it. He hoped Satoshi wouldn’t pester him about her anymore. He wasn’t ready for a girlfriend or anything.
Instead of an old girlfriend come back to haunt him, he was greeted by the sight of Die grumbling as he scrubbed dishes while wearing a frilly apron. Kaoru raised an eyebrow, not quite knowing what to think of the situation.
“Any reason for the sudden desire for cosplay?”
Die looked up from his work and glared at the older man watching him. “If I was cosplaying, I’d definitely only be wearing this fucking apron.”
“Nice imagery, eh?” a voice said from the hallway. Kaoru turned to see a woman emerging. He recognized her from when he had come over to Die’s house occasionally, but that had been a long time ago and her name had never really stuck.
“You remember Reiko, don’t you?” Die said, turning back to his work.
“Ah, that explains everything,” Kaoru said, now starting to remember she had a penchant for these kinds of tricks.
“Die’s agreed to clean, exactly to my specifications, so that I’ll take you boys out to dinner tonight,” She said to Kaoru, then turned to Die, “Don’t be slacking off now, little brother, you have to be a proper housewife and make sure the apartment is clean when your husband gets home.”
Die grumbled angrily and Kaoru couldn’t help but burst out in laughter.
:-:-:
The restaurant they chose was western. Die wasn’t a big fan of seafood, a peculiarity to his race. Reiko rolled her eyes when he ordered the most expensive item on the menu, a steak.
They were tucked away in a corner of the restaurant; there weren’t many people out on a Tuesday. Kaoru sat next to Die across from Reiko, becoming increasingly uncomfortable with her steady gaze on him. Die knew she had a particular manner of investigation that usually caused trouble and that her raptor gaze could unnerve just about anyone. He was just glad he wasn’t the focus of it tonight. As a result, Die happily ignored both of them, content to focus on his meal. It wasn’t often that they got to go out to such an expensive place to eat. Usually it would have to be some special occasion, but there hadn’t been many holidays since Die had moved into Kaoru’s apartment.
Meanwhile, Kaoru watched Die out of the corner of his eye, noticing that something was different. Kaoru figured that it had something to do with Reiko since she was so intent on staring at him. Perhaps she disapproved of him or was evaluating him on what kind of influence he was on Die? Kaoru wasn’t sure but he knew that he probably didn’t want to give her a bad impression of him so he tried to be polite as possible.
“Kaoru-san,” Reiko said suddenly, “Did Die tell you he was quitting school?”
Die looked up suddenly, an upset look on his face. He knew that Reiko was just using this to test Kaoru’s reaction, but she didn’t have to deal with the consequences later. She could be a real brat sometimes.
Kaoru stopped eating immediately; fork midway to transporting a vegetable to his mouth. “What?” he said quizzically, turning to Die with a look of surprise on his face and forgetting his previous thoughts about Reiko.
Die looked back down at his steak, giving it a particularly forceful jab with his knife. “It doesn’t really matter. It’ll make things easier on you.”
Kaoru sighed. “Is that what this is about? Money? Don’t worry about that. It’ll all be fine.” He face was etched with a strange emotion that Die couldn’t recognize, but still it did not make Die any less angry.
Die slammed his silverware down on the table, louder than he intended managing to draw some attention their way. “No, it’s not fine. You’re not my father, hell, you’re not even my brother. It’s none of your business to take care of me.”
Kaoru was silent, a pained look on his face. He continued eating, not knowing how to respond. Die was too irritated to worry that his words had hurt Kaoru, instead he was busy fuming about the trouble Kaoru would cause him over this. He hadn’t been ready to tell him about this yet.
Die glared over at Reiko who was now busying herself with cutting her meal into infinitesimal pieces and had a slight hint of a smile on her face. He didn’t know what she was so happy with herself, but it was starting to get on his nerves. She got too much enjoyment out of doing things like this. However, looking at her he felt his temper calm. It might actually be easier now that he didn’t have to hide anything from Kaoru. He might protest at first about what Die wanted to do, but he wouldn’t bar him from doing anything.
“I got a job,” Die remarked, trying to break the uncomfortable silence and change the subject. He wanted them to have a nice time since they were spending more money than usual. “As a greeter and waiter at a sushi bar.”
Once again, Kaoru looked surprised. Reiko leaned over and patted him on the shoulder. “Good for you, Nii-chan!”
Then she leaned over to Kaoru and jokingly whispered rather loudly. “I can’t believe someone hired him!”
Die glared at her, this time with half a smile on his face. Kaoru looked somewhat happier, but still worried.
“I start tomorrow afternoon,” Die continued, watching Kaoru’s face out of the corner of his eye and chewing on his steak. “It’s kind of run down, but it’s not a bad job.”
Kaoru chewed his food slowly, thinking. “Die. You should think longer about school. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to finish.”
Die sighed. “I made up my mind.” He set down his silverware again, this time softly and turned to look at Kaoru.
“This is just something I have to do. I know you want to help me, but I have to take care of myself from now on. I’m failing school. I’d have to retake half my classes if I wanted to graduate. I don’t have time for that and the world won’t wait for me.”
Kaoru looked at him thoughtfully. He was hesitant to give an answer and Die knew he was teetering on the edge of agreeing with him.
“Please. I need you to be on my side, not against me,” Die continued, lower so that Reiko could not hear.
Kaoru nodded silently and returned back to his food. Die let a big smile slip onto his lips. He was glad Kaoru listened to him. He really needed his support.
“Well, that’s enough seriousness for today, right Rei-chan?” Die murmured to his sister. There was a number of other dirty little secrets that she knew that he didn’t want her spilling just to discover more about how Die and Kaoru’s relationship.
Reiko nodded with a triumphant look on her face. He knew that she was just bursting with things that she wanted to tell him once they were alone, so he decided to drag it on as long as he could. After all, payback was a bitch.
They all went back to Kaoru’s apartment after the meal. Reiko had decided to stay for the night since they had been out so late at the restaurant that the last trains had departed long ago and she didn’t feel like paying for a taxi after spending an exorbitant amount of money on dinner. Kaoru retired early since he was tired from working extra hours that day and said he needed to sleep. That left an excited Reiko behind to chatter to Die, who was less eager than her to be discussing his “love life” as she called it.
“He doesn’t have a girlfriend,” She burst out excitedly, gripping onto his arm tightly once Kaoru had disappeared down the hallway and shut his door.
“Wow, calm down. How do you know that?” he asked, slightly unnerved by her zeal.
“It’s totally obvious!” she exclaimed. “Did you look at him? He looks all scruffy and he hasn’t shaved in a while. If he had a girlfriend she would want him to look nice. And besides, he hasn’t been calling anyone or going out to see anyone? A girlfriend wouldn’t stand for that. She’d want to see him. “
“Hey, maybe he’s just been busy and hasn’t been able to see her? That would mean he’d have no reason to get all nice for her,” He said, trying not to get excited. Kaoru was too good looking to be single.
Reiko smiled and poked him. “When’s the last time he went out, huh?”
Die thought for a second. “Well…It has to be a least three weeks, but still…Wouldn’t he have mentioned it to me?”
“I think you have a good chance with him,” Reiko stated, ignoring his doubts. “Did you see the way he looks at you? And how he’s so worried about you?”
Die looked at her skeptically. “Yeah, he cares about me, but like I’m his younger brother. Nothing more than that.” He needed to insist on that because, well, he wasn’t sure anymore.
“I wouldn’t be so quick to say that, Little Brother,” she remarked, putting her arm around his shoulder. “Don’t give up hope yet. With a little bit of maneuvering I’m sure I can make you his boyfriend in at least a month.”
“A month? Isn’t that a little long for the great Reiko-chan?” He mocked, pushing her arm off of him and flipping on the tv.
Reiko smiled. “Well, it’s a lot harder turning someone gay than just getting two people together, yah know.”
Die let out a small laugh. “Yeah, I’d like to see you do that. I have no chance with him.” Yet, even though Die said that, he could feel hope beginning to blossom in his heart for the first time since a long time.
:-:-:
Die ended up crawling in bed next to Kaoru after he had fallen asleep. Kaoru would probably be mad at him in the morning, but Die would use any excuse to sleep next the older man. Besides, he was getting tired of Reiko pestering him and he didn’t relish the thought of spending the night on the floor next to her on the couch.
Kaoru was lightly snoring as Die crawled under the thin blanket next to him. Die paused a moment, looking at Kaoru as he slept, his features softened by slumber. An odd feeling gathered up in his chest, partial longing and partly sadness. Just, looking at Kaoru lying there, he wished he could be in here every night, holding the man. It was kind of a corny feeling that made him uncomfortable, but he couldn’t help it. It made all these desires well up in him, some that he couldn’t understand and some that his body understood very well.
Die leaned down cautiously, brushing Kaoru’s bangs back from his forehead and bent forward to place a light kiss there. He smiled lightly. There was hope though. He would make Kaoru realize how amazing he was and then he’d win him over.
He laid down on his back, stretching out his long legs. Someday, he’d be in Kaoru’s bed…And not just to sleep.
With dirty thoughts in mind, Die closed his eyes and fell asleep.
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Interlude
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight *new*
Author’s Notes:
The first chapter of this story was posted June 20th 2006. That was one month before I got together with my boyfriend. Ever since then, I’ve been horribly distracted by him. I’m a terrible procrastinator and that’s why it’s already March 15, 2008 and I’m only on the eighth chapter. So I apologize. I have ten billion excuses to list, um, I’d like to blame all my high school teachers for all their homework they have given over this past year and college for being so terribly hard to arrange and plan for with tons of forms to fill out and tests to take. I’d also like to blame all the videogames that have ever distracted me and made me spent hours playing them instead of working on something productive. Overall, I’d like to blame my boyfriend for making me so happy that I couldn’t connect with Kyo’s character very well. I love you, sweetie. You kill my angst.
Also, terribly sorry to Kyo fans, not much of him in here. He's gonna be taking up the most of everything after this, so bear with this chapter. I'll try to be more punctual!!
Wrist-Cut Show Chapter Eight
:-:-:
Because we have tears
We also have dreams
Because we have nothing
We also have a future
:-:-:
Die did not go to school that day.
Rather, he skipped despite the fact that Kaoru had dropped him off. Die spent his time on the roof of the school instead. He had other things on his mind. He didn’t want to study algebra or history because he had better things to do with his life and he was starting to feel the need to escape growing inside of him.
He’d actually been planning something for a while. He had some ideas of what he was going to do. First of all, he needed a job so that he could start making some money. He could no longer rely on his friends or Kaoru to pay for things. Granted he could mooch some alcohol or cigarettes off of them rather easily, but what he wanted couldn’t be mooched.
Sitting on the roof of the school, overlooking the bustling city he began to see things differently than he had in a long time. Then again, he was actually sober for once, so that could be a big factor affecting it, but Die liked to think it was because that he was starting to become more mature. To be completely honest, he really had been too irresponsible, even for him. He had always been accepting things from Kaoru while offering nothing in return. It was a surprise that Kaoru hadn’t gotten completely frustrated with him and kicked him out.
His feelings for Kaoru, which had always been so confused and focused mostly on Die’s sexual desires, seemed to have obscured his vision. When was the last time Die had done something for Kaoru? Why the hell would Kaoru be interested in a leech? He was not going to make progress this way.
Die could feel excitement begin to build. His stomach was fluttering, thinking about Kaoru and how things could be. If he quit school, Kaoru wouldn’t have to spend so much time working. Life could get better. Kaoru could be less tired, happier. Die could help pay for things. They could actually go out and do things every once and a while instead of Die just running off to one of his other friends’ house when he wanted to get wasted.
The way that Die saw it, if he dropped school, a waste of his time anyway, he’d get a job and save for his own guitar. He had no passion for anything else and it would be nice not to always borrow Kaoru’s equipment. He could become serious. He could make something of his life; make his father regret that he’d ever disowned his only son.
However, getting a job wasn’t as easy as just thinking it. Die had no experience and his appearance alone made him ineligible for many jobs. Apparently, many people didn’t appreciate his sense of style. Die disagreed. He though his long red hair and dark style made him more interesting and stand out from the crowd. However, most employers didn’t want him to stand out. They just wanted him to look like everyone else. They said it made their customers ‘feel comfortable.’
Earlier, he had asked around the area where the school was but only found that most people weren’t hiring. He had finally had luck at a restaurant named Hara Sushi Wonderland, a family owned sushi bar that was falling on hard times. It offered little promise, but Die decided to check it out anyway, seeing as any money would be better than none. Hopefully, they wouldn’t mind how he looked.
After he had finished a couple cigarettes and had thought for a while, he decided to actually go out and do something. The lady he had seen at the restaurant had asked him to come back another day during the morning. This was about a good a time as any to visit and see if they would hire him. He felt confident that he had nothing to lose.
The place wasn’t far from the school. It was just a few streets over, in the more commercial part of the city. It actually wasn’t too far from Kaoru’s apartment either, so it would be rather a convenient place to work. He reached it within ten minutes of a brisk walk. It looked okay from outside, a little dusty and little old-fashioned, but Die supposed it could have its own personal charm to those who like those kinds of things. He entered the restaurant and was greeted by who he supposed was the grandmother of the family. She had a wrinkly face and a bright smile with horribly crooked teeth. Besides her and the middle aged woman working behind the counter, who he supposed to be her daughter or daughter-in-law, there was only one customer.
“Welcome to Hara Sushi Wonderland,” she pronounced putting extra emphasis on ‘Wonderland’, handing him a brochure. It was no wonder that they didn’t get much business. That lady was frickin’ scary.
He smiled nicely despite her appearance. “I’m actually here for an interview,” He explained, handing her back the brochure with a sympathetic look on his face. She had actually looked excited at the prospect of another customer.
She clapped her hands together, not at all fazed by the change. She actually looked even more excited. “Oh yes. Let me go get my son.”
She turned around and yelled, “Toshi!! There’s a nice young man for you!”
Upon the yell, a man emerged from the back room dressed in a traditional chef’s outfit. He looked to be in his mid-fifties and he was the sort of man who got skinner instead of wider the older he grew. This place was full of old people. Die wondered perhaps if they had a daughter or a son who worked here after school hours. That would make things more interesting, but then again, a job’s a job.
“Hello, I’m Toshimistu Hara, owner and chef,” He greeted happily, bowing slightly to Die. “You’re here for the interview, I’m guessing?”
Die bowed slightly back. “Yes, I’m Daisuke Ando.”
The man smiled widely, showing off his own set of crooked teeth. Die was starting to think that it ran in their family.
“You’re hired. Congratulations!” He said, stepping forward to shake his hand energetically.
Die looked surprised. “What? But, uh sir, don’t you want to get to know me more?” He asked in disbelief.
Toshi laughed. “I’m the sort of person who can tell who a person is just by looking. You’re young, healthy and strong and that’s all that matters. But besides that, I can tell you have good intentions.” Toshi sighed and then turned to the woman behind the counter.
“This is my wife, Keiko. She helps in the kitchen.” Keiko smiled and bowed, then continued to clean one of the counters. “And this is my mother, Kiko, she was standing in as a greeter, but I think you’ll be filling in as that position.”
Toshi then took him aside and said “She’s not the most welcoming sight, is she? It’ll be a lot better for business to have someone young like you. Bring some life back into this place.”
Die nodded, happy that he had not had to prove anything to these people. They seemed nice.
“My son is a bit errant and hasn’t been filling in for his duties as waiter, so you might have to cover that sometimes,” He said, sorrowfully, but then his demeanor turned cheerful again. “But I promise I pay well for good help!”
Die nodded again. This guy sure liked to talk. Die hadn’t been able to ask any questions yet.
“Can you start tomorrow? Business usually picks up as the week progresses, so we’ll start having a few more customers.”
“Yes, I-” He just managed to say before Toshi continued.
“Good! Well, be here tomorrow around 15:00? Splendid! I’ll have your outfit ready by then. You can change here.”
:-:-:
Die returned to the apartment after Toshi had finished explaining all his duties to him and treated him to a cup of green tea. Die wasn’t sure how to feel about the job, but he supposed it wouldn’t be too difficult and Toshi was very generous about paying, especially considering they didn’t seem to have much business. He had been given a long history of the restaurant, how it had been originally founded by Toshi’s great grandfather and how it was passed down to the oldest male of their family. Die had tried to listen politely but he had grown sleepy and spent most of the time sipping his tea and thinking about Kaoru.
He had left suddenly though, once he looked over at the clock and realizing that it was nearing the end of the school day. He had wanted to get home and practice some before Kaoru got home. Die had apologized and left promptly, finding the walk back to the apartment slightly longer but still refreshing.
Once he reached the outside door to the apartment he noticed a woman waiting outside. Her hair was curled and splashed about her face. She was of moderate height, very thin and with a facial structure similar to his but much more feminine. Upon seeing him, she quickly rushed over, a worried expression on her face.
“Little brother, I’ve been so worried about you,” she scolded, wrapping her arms around him in a rather forceful hug. He gently hugged her back. He hadn’t realized how long it had been since he’d seen his half-sister.
“Reiko, how yah been?” he asked casually. She smacked him lightly on the shoulder.
“Don’t act so casual. Two months without a word. Didn’t even know where you were staying till I asked around your school. Even then I had to twist a few arms to get an address.”
“Father didn’t tell you?” Die said with a sneer. He turned and entered the apartment building, Reiko following.
“Father won’t say a word about you. According to him, he’s lost you, just like your mother. And he’s too preoccupied with Naori. It seems she’s pregnant now.”
Die paused at the door to the apartment and sighed, digging through his pocket for his key. “You’d think that he’d get tired of kids after five of them. Geez, the man’s too old for this,” He commented, finding the key finally.
Reiko snorted. “Yeah, well, his wives have always been young enough and he never stayed with them for that long, except…”
“My mother…” Die finished her sentence.
Reiko smiled. “Well, enough of that depressing stuff; I want to know more about how you’re doing and who this guy you’re living with is!”
“You sure are nosey,” Die commented as they stepped into the apartment and Reiko looked around with dismay.
“Andou Daisuke, what the hell is this?” she asked incredulously.
Die grinned and said, “Home.”
:-:-:
Reiko sat down on the couch as Die prepared some coffee for them. She was an addict, so he prepared it strong. He liked his half-sister a great deal. She was the closest to him in age, eight years difference, his other 3 half-sisters, from two different mothers, had never really been that interested in him since he had been pretty much a little kid when they were around. However, Reiko had always taken care of him and been a steady influence in his life when his father neglected him and after his mother had died. Besides that, she had always accepted him the way he was and had fought fiercely with their father when he kicked Die out.
He handed her a cup of coffee and sat down beside her with his own. He had, more or less, forgotten all about his family and was starting to feel bad that he had not wrote to her as he said he would when he found a place to stay. Die knew that she had given him her address for more than just that though. He knew that she had given to him so he could have a place to go just in case.
“So, you’re living with Kaoru now?” she inquired casually, motioning to his stuff which was scattered around and interspersed with Die’s. She had had a hunch as soon as she had heard he’d moved in with another guy, but she hadn’t been completely sure who it was. She had always seen him hanging around Kaoru though, which had made their father especially angry. Die had defied him anyway.
Die nodded to confirm these suspicions, but said nothing to explain it further.
“You guys always were so close, I guess it’d just make sense that you’d end up together,” She commented happily.
Die coughed. “We’re not exactly ‘together’ in that sense,” he corrected, and she noted a small bit of melancholy in his voice.
Reiko looked curiously at him, trying hard to read his thoughts. “I’m sorry. I just assumed because I could tell how you like him all these years.”
Die sighed. “He’s taken…by some girl. I don’t remember her name because she doesn’t like to come around me. Not after I locked her out of the apartment naked.”
“Oh.” Reiko was silent for a moment. She let a small smile come across her face. Die would do something like that. He was the jealous type. “Well, that’s no reason to give up hope. Doesn’t mean Kaoru actually likes the girl. Does he ever talk about her?”
Die looked thoughtful for a moment, playing with a guitar pick that he found on the table. “Not really. I don’t even think he’s gone out to see her in a long time. I hadn’t really thought about it. I try not to.”
Reiko smiled brightly. “See, there’s no reason to worry. I have a good feeling about you two and you know how my feelings usually go.”
Die broke out in a grin at her words. “Yeah, they usually mean there’s trouble ahead and you’re the one causing it.”
Reiko smacked him lightly again. “I really did miss you, Die.” There was a vein of sincerity in her voice that warmed Die, but he didn’t acknowledge it.
Die stretched back on the couch, putting his feet on the messy table in front of the couch. “Yeah, most people do.”
Reiko laughed a little, but then her face became more serious. “But, I am worried about you. As good of a guy as Kaoru is, I’m not sure you should really be living here. How are you even paying for school?”
Die’s smiled disappeared. “Well, Kaoru was paying for it up till now, but I decided to quit and get a job. “
Reiko opened her mouth to complain, but Die quickly silenced her by saying, “I know, I know. You’re gonna tell me to not to, but I don’t really have many options. If things keep going the way they are, Kaoru will eventually get tired of it and I won’t have a place to go. As much as you might want to offer me a place, I know that you’re having a hard time of it yourself and would be in no better position to take care of me. I’m nearly 17 and I’ve got no future where school takes me. My best bet is to quit now and start making something of my life, before I get old.”
“Kaoru hasn’t been influencing you in this decision has he? Don’t you see where he is? Do you want to end up the same as him?” Reiko advised in concern.
Die sighed, wishing that she could just see things the way that he did. “You only see him now, working for a measly pay, a high school dropout. Well, you’re wrong. That’s not what he is. This moment doesn’t define him forever. If anyone would know that, it’s me. I’ve been living with him these past couple months and I can see things in him. I know he’s going places; this is only the moment before it all happens. And I want to go with him. I want to be the one that believes in him.”
Reiko looked incredulous at such claims. “But what are you going to do with your life? Kaoru may get somewhere, but that doesn’t mean you will. What is it that you want?”
Die let a small smile come over his features. “I want to be with him. I want to be part of what he does. I’m going to start practicing. I’m not good enough at guitar yet to impress him, but I will. Then we’ll form a band together and we’ll be famous.”
“And if that doesn’t happen?” Reiko asked. She didn’t like being so pessimistic, but she didn’t want her brother’s heart to be broken.
Die sighed and buried his face in his hands. “If I don’t try this, I’ll regret it forever. I know I can do it. And if it fails, at least I won’t regret not trying. I can’t live with myself if I just let life take me along without ever trying to change it. I don’t like where it’s taking me now, so I gotta do something.”
“I’ve never heard you talk so seriously before,” Reiko said, partly in wonder and partially in worry. She thought for a second before answering. “If this is what you feel you must do, then I won’t stop you.”
Die smiled happily at her. “Thanks, sis. I knew you’d understand.” She had always come through for him.
“However,” she paused, giving him a mock look of disappointment, “You really need to keep this place cleaner. Eessh, you’d think it would have to be cleaner with a gay guy living here.” Picking up a pair of his pants that had been lying in the middle of the living room, she wrinkled her nose in disgust.
“That’s stereotyping, sis,” He remarked tetchily, grabbing the pants and tossing them back down in their rightful place. He had everything organized, damn it. Why did no one understand that?
“Besides, we should probably just get out of the apartment and have some dinner, if you don’t mind buying,” He commented, trying to change the subject, his belly grumbling. It would be nice to have a real meal for once instead of just having cheap food.
She nodded her head in agreement. It had been a while since she had seen her brother and they should celebrate it. “As long as Kaoru comes along. I don’t know him that well and I want to know just exactly what kind of man my little brother is in love with.” She teased playfully.
Die pouted in response, crossing his arms. “I’m not in love with him,” He answered stubbornly.
Reiko raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really? Than how would you describe it?”
Die was silent and Reiko beamed triumphantly. “Stop being embarrassed. Love is a nice thing, remember? Not many people in our family have had the chance.”
“Unrequited love is quite a different thing and it’s not quite so nice. There’s been plenty of that in the family,” He said rather unenthusiastically.
Reiko smiled in the way that said she thought he was being ridiculous. “Just wait for me to decide whether or not it’s unrequited. You shouldn’t give up hope so soon. And, by the way, when is he coming home?” she asked trying to encourage him and change the subject so that he wouldn’t dwell on it.
“It should be soon, he gets off work at four,” Die responded. “Just promise me you won’t completely terrorize him?”
Reiko grinned. “I make no promises I can’t keep.”
:-:-:
Kaoru entered the apartment to find that it was much cleaner than it had been when he left, which was never a good sign. It usually meant that something was very wrong or a girl had been over. He noticed another pair of shoes, feminine shoes, so that at least told him that it was only a girl. Still, it confused him. Die had never brought a girl over before. The boy was, after all, gay, so it didn’t really make sense. Maybe one of Kaoru’s old girlfriends had shown up. Sometimes they did that and it made Die positively livid for the next week for reasons that Kaoru couldn’t quite ascertain. However, the presence of a female reminded him of that girl he met today, what was her name, Aiko Fujima, that was it. He hoped Satoshi wouldn’t pester him about her anymore. He wasn’t ready for a girlfriend or anything.
Instead of an old girlfriend come back to haunt him, he was greeted by the sight of Die grumbling as he scrubbed dishes while wearing a frilly apron. Kaoru raised an eyebrow, not quite knowing what to think of the situation.
“Any reason for the sudden desire for cosplay?”
Die looked up from his work and glared at the older man watching him. “If I was cosplaying, I’d definitely only be wearing this fucking apron.”
“Nice imagery, eh?” a voice said from the hallway. Kaoru turned to see a woman emerging. He recognized her from when he had come over to Die’s house occasionally, but that had been a long time ago and her name had never really stuck.
“You remember Reiko, don’t you?” Die said, turning back to his work.
“Ah, that explains everything,” Kaoru said, now starting to remember she had a penchant for these kinds of tricks.
“Die’s agreed to clean, exactly to my specifications, so that I’ll take you boys out to dinner tonight,” She said to Kaoru, then turned to Die, “Don’t be slacking off now, little brother, you have to be a proper housewife and make sure the apartment is clean when your husband gets home.”
Die grumbled angrily and Kaoru couldn’t help but burst out in laughter.
:-:-:
The restaurant they chose was western. Die wasn’t a big fan of seafood, a peculiarity to his race. Reiko rolled her eyes when he ordered the most expensive item on the menu, a steak.
They were tucked away in a corner of the restaurant; there weren’t many people out on a Tuesday. Kaoru sat next to Die across from Reiko, becoming increasingly uncomfortable with her steady gaze on him. Die knew she had a particular manner of investigation that usually caused trouble and that her raptor gaze could unnerve just about anyone. He was just glad he wasn’t the focus of it tonight. As a result, Die happily ignored both of them, content to focus on his meal. It wasn’t often that they got to go out to such an expensive place to eat. Usually it would have to be some special occasion, but there hadn’t been many holidays since Die had moved into Kaoru’s apartment.
Meanwhile, Kaoru watched Die out of the corner of his eye, noticing that something was different. Kaoru figured that it had something to do with Reiko since she was so intent on staring at him. Perhaps she disapproved of him or was evaluating him on what kind of influence he was on Die? Kaoru wasn’t sure but he knew that he probably didn’t want to give her a bad impression of him so he tried to be polite as possible.
“Kaoru-san,” Reiko said suddenly, “Did Die tell you he was quitting school?”
Die looked up suddenly, an upset look on his face. He knew that Reiko was just using this to test Kaoru’s reaction, but she didn’t have to deal with the consequences later. She could be a real brat sometimes.
Kaoru stopped eating immediately; fork midway to transporting a vegetable to his mouth. “What?” he said quizzically, turning to Die with a look of surprise on his face and forgetting his previous thoughts about Reiko.
Die looked back down at his steak, giving it a particularly forceful jab with his knife. “It doesn’t really matter. It’ll make things easier on you.”
Kaoru sighed. “Is that what this is about? Money? Don’t worry about that. It’ll all be fine.” He face was etched with a strange emotion that Die couldn’t recognize, but still it did not make Die any less angry.
Die slammed his silverware down on the table, louder than he intended managing to draw some attention their way. “No, it’s not fine. You’re not my father, hell, you’re not even my brother. It’s none of your business to take care of me.”
Kaoru was silent, a pained look on his face. He continued eating, not knowing how to respond. Die was too irritated to worry that his words had hurt Kaoru, instead he was busy fuming about the trouble Kaoru would cause him over this. He hadn’t been ready to tell him about this yet.
Die glared over at Reiko who was now busying herself with cutting her meal into infinitesimal pieces and had a slight hint of a smile on her face. He didn’t know what she was so happy with herself, but it was starting to get on his nerves. She got too much enjoyment out of doing things like this. However, looking at her he felt his temper calm. It might actually be easier now that he didn’t have to hide anything from Kaoru. He might protest at first about what Die wanted to do, but he wouldn’t bar him from doing anything.
“I got a job,” Die remarked, trying to break the uncomfortable silence and change the subject. He wanted them to have a nice time since they were spending more money than usual. “As a greeter and waiter at a sushi bar.”
Once again, Kaoru looked surprised. Reiko leaned over and patted him on the shoulder. “Good for you, Nii-chan!”
Then she leaned over to Kaoru and jokingly whispered rather loudly. “I can’t believe someone hired him!”
Die glared at her, this time with half a smile on his face. Kaoru looked somewhat happier, but still worried.
“I start tomorrow afternoon,” Die continued, watching Kaoru’s face out of the corner of his eye and chewing on his steak. “It’s kind of run down, but it’s not a bad job.”
Kaoru chewed his food slowly, thinking. “Die. You should think longer about school. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to finish.”
Die sighed. “I made up my mind.” He set down his silverware again, this time softly and turned to look at Kaoru.
“This is just something I have to do. I know you want to help me, but I have to take care of myself from now on. I’m failing school. I’d have to retake half my classes if I wanted to graduate. I don’t have time for that and the world won’t wait for me.”
Kaoru looked at him thoughtfully. He was hesitant to give an answer and Die knew he was teetering on the edge of agreeing with him.
“Please. I need you to be on my side, not against me,” Die continued, lower so that Reiko could not hear.
Kaoru nodded silently and returned back to his food. Die let a big smile slip onto his lips. He was glad Kaoru listened to him. He really needed his support.
“Well, that’s enough seriousness for today, right Rei-chan?” Die murmured to his sister. There was a number of other dirty little secrets that she knew that he didn’t want her spilling just to discover more about how Die and Kaoru’s relationship.
Reiko nodded with a triumphant look on her face. He knew that she was just bursting with things that she wanted to tell him once they were alone, so he decided to drag it on as long as he could. After all, payback was a bitch.
They all went back to Kaoru’s apartment after the meal. Reiko had decided to stay for the night since they had been out so late at the restaurant that the last trains had departed long ago and she didn’t feel like paying for a taxi after spending an exorbitant amount of money on dinner. Kaoru retired early since he was tired from working extra hours that day and said he needed to sleep. That left an excited Reiko behind to chatter to Die, who was less eager than her to be discussing his “love life” as she called it.
“He doesn’t have a girlfriend,” She burst out excitedly, gripping onto his arm tightly once Kaoru had disappeared down the hallway and shut his door.
“Wow, calm down. How do you know that?” he asked, slightly unnerved by her zeal.
“It’s totally obvious!” she exclaimed. “Did you look at him? He looks all scruffy and he hasn’t shaved in a while. If he had a girlfriend she would want him to look nice. And besides, he hasn’t been calling anyone or going out to see anyone? A girlfriend wouldn’t stand for that. She’d want to see him. “
“Hey, maybe he’s just been busy and hasn’t been able to see her? That would mean he’d have no reason to get all nice for her,” He said, trying not to get excited. Kaoru was too good looking to be single.
Reiko smiled and poked him. “When’s the last time he went out, huh?”
Die thought for a second. “Well…It has to be a least three weeks, but still…Wouldn’t he have mentioned it to me?”
“I think you have a good chance with him,” Reiko stated, ignoring his doubts. “Did you see the way he looks at you? And how he’s so worried about you?”
Die looked at her skeptically. “Yeah, he cares about me, but like I’m his younger brother. Nothing more than that.” He needed to insist on that because, well, he wasn’t sure anymore.
“I wouldn’t be so quick to say that, Little Brother,” she remarked, putting her arm around his shoulder. “Don’t give up hope yet. With a little bit of maneuvering I’m sure I can make you his boyfriend in at least a month.”
“A month? Isn’t that a little long for the great Reiko-chan?” He mocked, pushing her arm off of him and flipping on the tv.
Reiko smiled. “Well, it’s a lot harder turning someone gay than just getting two people together, yah know.”
Die let out a small laugh. “Yeah, I’d like to see you do that. I have no chance with him.” Yet, even though Die said that, he could feel hope beginning to blossom in his heart for the first time since a long time.
:-:-:
Die ended up crawling in bed next to Kaoru after he had fallen asleep. Kaoru would probably be mad at him in the morning, but Die would use any excuse to sleep next the older man. Besides, he was getting tired of Reiko pestering him and he didn’t relish the thought of spending the night on the floor next to her on the couch.
Kaoru was lightly snoring as Die crawled under the thin blanket next to him. Die paused a moment, looking at Kaoru as he slept, his features softened by slumber. An odd feeling gathered up in his chest, partial longing and partly sadness. Just, looking at Kaoru lying there, he wished he could be in here every night, holding the man. It was kind of a corny feeling that made him uncomfortable, but he couldn’t help it. It made all these desires well up in him, some that he couldn’t understand and some that his body understood very well.
Die leaned down cautiously, brushing Kaoru’s bangs back from his forehead and bent forward to place a light kiss there. He smiled lightly. There was hope though. He would make Kaoru realize how amazing he was and then he’d win him over.
He laid down on his back, stretching out his long legs. Someday, he’d be in Kaoru’s bed…And not just to sleep.
With dirty thoughts in mind, Die closed his eyes and fell asleep.