I Wonder...
I often catch myself day dreaming...I can't stop thinking about him. I love his little giggle. He has so many laughs, but that giggle makes me smile, makes me laugh and just simply makes me happy because I know that he is happy and atnease.
I often wonder what it would be like to fall asleep near him. Would we laugh and chat? We would have an insainly deep conversation for that time of night? We would we be silent and comfortable in eachother's quiet presence? I hope all of the above.
I wonder what it would be like to wake up beside him. Would he gently rub my back at the sound of the alarm? Would he whisper my name? Would he gently kiss my eye lids? Would he tickle me when I refused to budge? I hope so.
I wonder what would it be like for us to cook dinner together for just the two of us or a group of close friends. We would we laugh and giggle? Would we talk? We would he come behind me when I least expect and wrap his arms around me? Would we argue and just? I hope so.
Even more simply than all of that...I wonder what would it be like to hold his hand? What would it be like for him to take my hand? What would it be like for him to kiss my hand? Would we compare the size of our palms and the curve our fingers? Would he tease me about how tiny and stubby my hands are? Would I joke about how he needs some loation? Would I try to take off his rings so as to get a closer look? I hope so.
I wrote this about him the other day...
To the One to Whom I make Myself Fully Known:
I think about you all the time.
I pray for you.
You are the light in my darkness.
You are my close deep friend.
Alone we are deep water, together we are an ocean.
Your smile sets my world on fire.
You giggle makes me happy, makes me laugh.
You are teh sun and I the moon.
Never light and dark because we are not opposites.
Sugar and spice for we are compliments; two halves of a single whole.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
To you and you alone do I make myself fully known.
~no~
I know it all sounds crazy and slightly Jane Austin. Maybe even obssesive, but I have tried to get this boy off of my mind and have failed miserably. When I am upset I want to process with him. When good things happen I want to tell him. When I just want to chill I want to chill with him. It is like something biolgoical. My body seems to crave his presence. It is like there is a chemical in me for which he is the catalyst for, and I crave it.
I rarely write about anything, but crushes on here becuase I know who can see this. My other journal(s) I don't know so I try to keep those blogs clear of love.
I do know though that four months is a long time for me to stick with one crush. I am so fickle. Even after he hurt my feelings I still liked him...I don't know what is up with this.
Anyways...I need to hit the books. I have some Sociology of Deviance reading to do...
Paz
~no~
I often wonder what it would be like to fall asleep near him. Would we laugh and chat? We would have an insainly deep conversation for that time of night? We would we be silent and comfortable in eachother's quiet presence? I hope all of the above.
I wonder what it would be like to wake up beside him. Would he gently rub my back at the sound of the alarm? Would he whisper my name? Would he gently kiss my eye lids? Would he tickle me when I refused to budge? I hope so.
I wonder what would it be like for us to cook dinner together for just the two of us or a group of close friends. We would we laugh and giggle? Would we talk? We would he come behind me when I least expect and wrap his arms around me? Would we argue and just? I hope so.
Even more simply than all of that...I wonder what would it be like to hold his hand? What would it be like for him to take my hand? What would it be like for him to kiss my hand? Would we compare the size of our palms and the curve our fingers? Would he tease me about how tiny and stubby my hands are? Would I joke about how he needs some loation? Would I try to take off his rings so as to get a closer look? I hope so.
I wrote this about him the other day...
To the One to Whom I make Myself Fully Known:
I think about you all the time.
I pray for you.
You are the light in my darkness.
You are my close deep friend.
Alone we are deep water, together we are an ocean.
Your smile sets my world on fire.
You giggle makes me happy, makes me laugh.
You are teh sun and I the moon.
Never light and dark because we are not opposites.
Sugar and spice for we are compliments; two halves of a single whole.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
To you and you alone do I make myself fully known.
~no~
I know it all sounds crazy and slightly Jane Austin. Maybe even obssesive, but I have tried to get this boy off of my mind and have failed miserably. When I am upset I want to process with him. When good things happen I want to tell him. When I just want to chill I want to chill with him. It is like something biolgoical. My body seems to crave his presence. It is like there is a chemical in me for which he is the catalyst for, and I crave it.
I rarely write about anything, but crushes on here becuase I know who can see this. My other journal(s) I don't know so I try to keep those blogs clear of love.
I do know though that four months is a long time for me to stick with one crush. I am so fickle. Even after he hurt my feelings I still liked him...I don't know what is up with this.
Anyways...I need to hit the books. I have some Sociology of Deviance reading to do...
Paz
~no~