If you are bored by this, it's your own fault.
One of my lifelong ambitions has been to juggle 3 watermelons at once. Practically every decision I have made in the past 20 years has been to get myself closer to that goal. Well, the other day I decided that I was finally ready to actually try juggling something small and light. I started with helium balloons, the lightest object known to man. I managed to keep all 3 balloons in the air at the same time, so I think I am ready to move on to balloons filled with the next noble gas of neon. I will proceed in this fashion until I get to radon, which I assume will be the same weight and balance as watermelons. If I can pull this off, I will go on the next season of Hell's Kitchen to get enough exposure to go on American Idol to get enough exposure to go on America's Got Talent. After that, the money should mint itself directly in my living room.