Too early for flapjacks.
Well, I've had about 5 people tell me to update. All of them were imaginary. But they were shouting.
Not much new to report. Still working. Still living in Atlanta. Still the same exact Neff that you all know and love.
I almost got hit by a car a couple of weeks ago. I was walking home late at night and a car lost control and skidded right for me. I ran away off the road and ended up about 15 feet or so away from where the car came to a crashing stop. The driver was drunk and went to jail. Nobody was hurt. I was very calm and gave my statement to the police and was about a half mile away before the shakes hit me. Fortunately, I had pizza and Bailey's at home. And Smash Brothers. Copious amounts of Smash Brothers.
My apologies to everyone reading this that has heard this story before. In return for hearing that again, I'll tell you something new.
Everyone that hadn't heard about the near death car thing should stop reading, because I'll be reposting this next part in my next entry for you. If you read this now, you'll be bored later.
One of my lifelong ambitions has been to juggle 3 watermelons at once. Practically every decision I have made in the past 20 years has been to get myself closer to that goal. Well, the other day I decided that I was finally ready to actually try juggling something small and light. I started with helium balloons, the lightest object known to man. I managed to keep all 3 balloons in the air at the same time, so I think I am ready to move on to balloons filled with the next noble gas of neon. I will proceed in this fashion until I get to radon, which I assume will be the same weight and balance as watermelons. If I can pull this off, I will go on the next season of Hell's Kitchen to get enough exposure to go on American Idol to get enough exposure to go on America's Got Talent. After that, the money should mint itself directly in my living room.
Not much new to report. Still working. Still living in Atlanta. Still the same exact Neff that you all know and love.
I almost got hit by a car a couple of weeks ago. I was walking home late at night and a car lost control and skidded right for me. I ran away off the road and ended up about 15 feet or so away from where the car came to a crashing stop. The driver was drunk and went to jail. Nobody was hurt. I was very calm and gave my statement to the police and was about a half mile away before the shakes hit me. Fortunately, I had pizza and Bailey's at home. And Smash Brothers. Copious amounts of Smash Brothers.
My apologies to everyone reading this that has heard this story before. In return for hearing that again, I'll tell you something new.
Everyone that hadn't heard about the near death car thing should stop reading, because I'll be reposting this next part in my next entry for you. If you read this now, you'll be bored later.
One of my lifelong ambitions has been to juggle 3 watermelons at once. Practically every decision I have made in the past 20 years has been to get myself closer to that goal. Well, the other day I decided that I was finally ready to actually try juggling something small and light. I started with helium balloons, the lightest object known to man. I managed to keep all 3 balloons in the air at the same time, so I think I am ready to move on to balloons filled with the next noble gas of neon. I will proceed in this fashion until I get to radon, which I assume will be the same weight and balance as watermelons. If I can pull this off, I will go on the next season of Hell's Kitchen to get enough exposure to go on American Idol to get enough exposure to go on America's Got Talent. After that, the money should mint itself directly in my living room.