So Much Drama in the LBC!
Okay. I'm depressed, and upset and really pissed off. Mark broke up with me. Well, he says taking a break. I know, everyone hates him, but try to be subjective. He has been my closest best friend for 2 years (nearly). As soon as we got off the phone, I instantly felt so alone. I mean he was going to move here to be with me and everything was going to be peachy. It isn't a plan anymore. I have my suspicions that it isn't because of stress. In fact, I think it is because of another girl. He told me he loved me before we got off of the phone. I don't know. If you remember, we broke up last February because he suddenly realized he was involved in a serious relationship. However, it was also because he wanted to try to screw Brittany. I'm thinking it is the same situation this time. Ah, no one cares.
Jered's drama totally beat mine when I tried to vent, though. We are both so fucked up. Did you know that I've only slept with 2 people? I am not a college party girl! I don't know what i'm going to do here. I feel so isolated and alone. I know my friends are there if I need to talk and stuff. I love you guys for it.
Alright, now that I won't have a guilty conscience about it, I have a secret that everyone already knows. I have had a crush on Jered since I met him when he was a freshmen in high school. It didn't go away or fade to friendship. We are close friends but I am totally in love with Jered. But, I don't think starting a relationship would be the smartest thing. For one, I live in fucking Monroe and he's moving to Hammond (I think). Fuck this long distance shit. It is only 4 hours, but it may as well be another country. I guess I just wanted you to know that I am not a lost cause. I reciprocate everything you've ever said. I just can't actually tell you. I'm a pussy. Okay then. That was fun.
I am still upset about Mark, but really, fuck him. The last time we broke up, he came crawling back to me on his hands and knees crying. I guess if it happens again this time the answer is no. I just can't beleive it is so easy for him to throw it away because he's lonely. I'm fucking lonely; too. But I can handle myself. I would never dream of cheating. I was dealing with being away, by talking to him as much as possible and coming down as much as possible. I just can't believe it. What a bitch. I'm trying not to cry, Jered, but I am so mad and upset. It's hard. I know you know.
I'm going to try to come down this weekend or next weekend (probably a beter idea). No, wait... I can't next weekend because I'm coming down the week after that. I guess it is this weekend or nothing. I guess I can wait til the 2nd. I miss everybody. Love ya'll.