buy this car to drive to work, drive to work to pay for this car...
Ok so I am finding myself staying in this same sort of "i need to save money but somehow I never get ahead" sort of orbit. It's frusterating, I'm not scrapping or anything but on the same token I am staying in the same spot finiancially.
Changes are being thought about. I need school, I need to better myself. I am not a warehouse worker, it's not in me. The thoughts of moving to Maryland to stay with my aunt while I possibly go to school are banging around in my head pretty heavily. It's a nice enviroment, I know I could work with my aunt Tony part-time, and it just seems like a good idea EXCEPT! things haunt me in that house. Adolecent behavior that makes me nostalgic and depressed. I suffered alot from emotional stress in that house and when we visit, I can walk into a room and see myself sitting there...isolated, writing, crying, cutting... All the things that were so dear and close and comforting to me before fucking haunt and scare me now.. It's hard to see myself going back there as an adult.. It's like a step backwards. In saying this much I do realize it's all in how you look at it, unfortionality I have always been the "half empty" type and therefore, here I am, chomping at the bits. Oh dear.
Yesterday was quite good. I woke up early, and andrew and I jogged. There is something so peaceful about jogging in the morning. The air feels different. And I guess I feel like all the bad people that reside in frankford are sleeping at 8:00 in the am, which is the most comforting part of the equasion... I hate this city...
I also got a new phone yesterday, my contract was up so I signed my life away to another two years so they could give me a new phone and I could get excited for a day or maybe two (because this one is really cool) and then hate it like the rest for the remainder of the 2 year contract. More bad then good, but believe me when I say that I will never learn my lesson.
Lelu got her stitches out.. No more dish, I was estatic. She, on the other hand, could care less. I wish I could be more like lelu.
I took a test yesterday at my friend Jay's house that is suppose to find the color of your aura. My color is blue, and if the description was any more closer to the truth I would start searching my house for cameras and audio equipment. It was crazy, I was high, it was all just to much for one night.
As for you, if you do read my posts, I am excited for whatever it is your going through. It sounds postitive and you sound happy. You mentioned an age difference and honestly, it means nothing. People talked shit about me and you and that was only two years. People are always going to have something to say no matter what. Stay gold. I had a dream we were hanging out. It was fun and we laughed alot. I hope we can hang soon kristen, I am still very excited about our friendship.
<3
Zuravinblaine**
Changes are being thought about. I need school, I need to better myself. I am not a warehouse worker, it's not in me. The thoughts of moving to Maryland to stay with my aunt while I possibly go to school are banging around in my head pretty heavily. It's a nice enviroment, I know I could work with my aunt Tony part-time, and it just seems like a good idea EXCEPT! things haunt me in that house. Adolecent behavior that makes me nostalgic and depressed. I suffered alot from emotional stress in that house and when we visit, I can walk into a room and see myself sitting there...isolated, writing, crying, cutting... All the things that were so dear and close and comforting to me before fucking haunt and scare me now.. It's hard to see myself going back there as an adult.. It's like a step backwards. In saying this much I do realize it's all in how you look at it, unfortionality I have always been the "half empty" type and therefore, here I am, chomping at the bits. Oh dear.
Yesterday was quite good. I woke up early, and andrew and I jogged. There is something so peaceful about jogging in the morning. The air feels different. And I guess I feel like all the bad people that reside in frankford are sleeping at 8:00 in the am, which is the most comforting part of the equasion... I hate this city...
I also got a new phone yesterday, my contract was up so I signed my life away to another two years so they could give me a new phone and I could get excited for a day or maybe two (because this one is really cool) and then hate it like the rest for the remainder of the 2 year contract. More bad then good, but believe me when I say that I will never learn my lesson.
Lelu got her stitches out.. No more dish, I was estatic. She, on the other hand, could care less. I wish I could be more like lelu.
I took a test yesterday at my friend Jay's house that is suppose to find the color of your aura. My color is blue, and if the description was any more closer to the truth I would start searching my house for cameras and audio equipment. It was crazy, I was high, it was all just to much for one night.
As for you, if you do read my posts, I am excited for whatever it is your going through. It sounds postitive and you sound happy. You mentioned an age difference and honestly, it means nothing. People talked shit about me and you and that was only two years. People are always going to have something to say no matter what. Stay gold. I had a dream we were hanging out. It was fun and we laughed alot. I hope we can hang soon kristen, I am still very excited about our friendship.
<3
Zuravinblaine**