Remeber to breathe
I am so happy right now. Its all about the people, nothing more or less. I feel sometimes like I devote more attention to some than others, but overall im doing well with keeping my friends just as close to me as each one. I love all my friends. Its so strange to be home instead of in slo. I feel so relaxed and myself. In slo I have alot of fun, and i love my friends there, but alot of times I feel like I have to hold back alot of stuff aroudn some of them, and our friendships could be so much better but people just dont know how to relate to me in the way i invision. I wish people could be more accepting and loving of each other. That whole place is so tied up in the depiction of high school and social life in a big picture. Social life is a miniscual picture though, and idividual thing, and no one knows everyone, and if they did, they would be devoid of a deep relationship because no one could know everyone taht well. And so its like, there are too many aspects of competition and TV perfection sort of down there. The alone time I have there seems so harsh and really lonely, and here, it seems so nice and real. People are what they are, and to be surrounded by such steep harsh behavior and smugness really depresses me. I say its a personal phenominon with slo, but i think its more than that. The whole place seems so odd to me, like im hidding different aspects of my life and then sharing others and trying to create a friendship that just doesnt work right, or like i see.
I bought some new shoes and jackets today, and I am so stylish, its great. I have the best tastes in the world. Imagine if someone was to share in this joyous feeling I have, it would be great. I was driving home thinking about the evening, and I had such a great night drinking and hanging out with people and just talking and laughing so much. I really felt so positive as I drove home, and I started to think about how I really want a girl friend and how right now, I suppose Im missing the fact I dont, but at the same instance, Im so excited for the times that I do, because I think taht I have had my faults in relationships and down spots and negative pasts on my part, but I have grown and really discovered how to handle myself more. And I was so excited for that day I can meet some girl who I can just praise and relate to on every level and love and cherrish, cause I think I would be a great boy friend. I love my friends and everyone around me, but I think I am doing really well in life right now, and a girl friend in my life would only make her life better and mine. Cause I have nothing to give but great vibes and love. For it is in our relations and understandings that we create magic and unimaginable feelings and revolations of some sort.
I smoked alot of cigarrets tonight, like 4 I think, but I shared them with people. While they tasted slightly distastful, I still really enjoyed them and passing them between me and a few people. I really am discovering I use to be so judgemental and such a downer on some peopel and their habits, but really, its not my choice, its theirs, and there is nothing I can do about it so i shouldnt diss them or rag on them cause this is their life, not mine. But, I sort of have pieced together what I use to act like when I use to be really offended by peopel smoking and having cigarrets, cause its like, no matter what habit, if you are friends, you love the person no matter what, and instead of constanly ragging on them for shit you dont like, you should celebrate them for the aspects of them you do love.
I bought some new shoes and jackets today, and I am so stylish, its great. I have the best tastes in the world. Imagine if someone was to share in this joyous feeling I have, it would be great. I was driving home thinking about the evening, and I had such a great night drinking and hanging out with people and just talking and laughing so much. I really felt so positive as I drove home, and I started to think about how I really want a girl friend and how right now, I suppose Im missing the fact I dont, but at the same instance, Im so excited for the times that I do, because I think taht I have had my faults in relationships and down spots and negative pasts on my part, but I have grown and really discovered how to handle myself more. And I was so excited for that day I can meet some girl who I can just praise and relate to on every level and love and cherrish, cause I think I would be a great boy friend. I love my friends and everyone around me, but I think I am doing really well in life right now, and a girl friend in my life would only make her life better and mine. Cause I have nothing to give but great vibes and love. For it is in our relations and understandings that we create magic and unimaginable feelings and revolations of some sort.
I smoked alot of cigarrets tonight, like 4 I think, but I shared them with people. While they tasted slightly distastful, I still really enjoyed them and passing them between me and a few people. I really am discovering I use to be so judgemental and such a downer on some peopel and their habits, but really, its not my choice, its theirs, and there is nothing I can do about it so i shouldnt diss them or rag on them cause this is their life, not mine. But, I sort of have pieced together what I use to act like when I use to be really offended by peopel smoking and having cigarrets, cause its like, no matter what habit, if you are friends, you love the person no matter what, and instead of constanly ragging on them for shit you dont like, you should celebrate them for the aspects of them you do love.