Women
Lately, I've been having various discussions with various people about women. Specifically, the idea of the "ideal woman" each of us guys have. I even managed to get the flip side of this from a girl who had written down characteristics of her "ideal man". In this instance, many financial qualities were listed as were many physical traits. And, naturally, some of the guys I talked to approached this topic the same way. Not trying to sound like I am on a throne but I easily listed more "psychological" traits than appearances or finances. So then I thought I should probably join the club and actually attempt to jot down my "list". This is not complete by any stretch and in no particular order of importance, just as they occur to me.
· Someone who can forgive. Being me and being a man means that I am destined to mess up. Usually I try my damnedest to control this but every now and then I do the small thing that snowballs into Dumpville - population: me. I'm usually a sucker for forgiveness, I'll grant it unless it is something serious like killing a family member or blatantly betraying my trust. So someone like that would be wonderful.
· Someone that believes me. This sounds ridiculous on the surface but I mean it. I haven't met a girl yet that when I tell them they are beautiful they discredit my remark and move on. Some even get pissed. This is probably part of the game, as some would say, but I'm holding out hope for someone out there I haven't met yet that is beyond this behavior.
· Someone not in a hurry. Too many I have encountered that have a deadline to be married and have babies or else! Really? Shouldn't we figure out this mystery called life together for a little bit before we get down to business? I realize I am getting older and the window is closing but I don't think that's an excuse to cut to the chase. I want someone who isn't on a specific shot clock. If something happens it is because it is spontaneous, to an extent, but also a "logical" conclusion.
· A best friend. I want that buddy-buddy aspect laced in with what the relationship brings. I want that friendship/companionship that seems to be apparent in most healthy relationships. I'll know it's there when others refer to us as a pairing like peanut butter and jelly, black and white, that kind of a combination. This takes time, I know, but past experiences have shown that I've been quick to be judged and figured out when I know I'm more to it than simple surface scans. It's just silly to me that this stage is almost always skipped in favor of getting right to the marriage and baby making stuff.
· A self-thinker. Someone who is they way they are because they make it that way. I'm tired of people dominated by opinion. Because you like to eat hamburgers and drink booze doesn't mean you're fat. Hell, I love a girl that looks like they can cut loose on occasion. Everything in moderation, yes, but don't let the outside world tell you who and what you are. Be your damned self.
· Someone non-religious or tolerant to the faithless. I respect you because you go to church and believe a God which are both clearly important to you. Respect me because I respectfully believe I am better off without such things which is important to me. And don't let this make a silly conclusion like "Well, you don't go to church or believe in a God so how can I marry you one day?" Uhm, it's something called a non-religious ceremony. I'm a believer of the real witnesses to a marriage, not some mythical guy in the clouds.
· Communication. Talk to me about anything without fear. I can talk to you about anything without fear. I love you and you love me, nothing can be said that would challenge this. Our ability to just sit down and sort ourselves out together without getting violent at each other. Yes, we may get violent about whatever is troubling us but it'll never be because of us. There isn't anything we couldn't work out. I've had a taste of this with somebody long ago so I know this is a trait that exists.
· Give as much as you take. I tire of this being out of balance. I don't think of this as a charity war but, come on, you know when you're guilty of this one way or the other. I know I do. Usually as a giver if I give to much I simply stop giving and allow time for reciprocation. Usually I don't get it so normally I just act how I want to act and forget about how I'd like for things to play out.
Other than that, anything else is bonus (that and my thoughts on the subject are winding down, probably a few more to add on later). I don't think this is much to ask for but I'm starting to believe it is. A part of me, however, is telling me to remain patient. I'm only going through what I am going through because the best is yet to come and I shouldn't be in a hurry to settle for less. I deserve more and it is coming, hold out a little longer. I'll know when I'll know. My support group, I feel, has been on me about this all along so who better to believe than those closest to you? I sincerely feel I do too much right and feel so good about the future that I will eventually get the small things I am asking for.
· Someone who can forgive. Being me and being a man means that I am destined to mess up. Usually I try my damnedest to control this but every now and then I do the small thing that snowballs into Dumpville - population: me. I'm usually a sucker for forgiveness, I'll grant it unless it is something serious like killing a family member or blatantly betraying my trust. So someone like that would be wonderful.
· Someone that believes me. This sounds ridiculous on the surface but I mean it. I haven't met a girl yet that when I tell them they are beautiful they discredit my remark and move on. Some even get pissed. This is probably part of the game, as some would say, but I'm holding out hope for someone out there I haven't met yet that is beyond this behavior.
· Someone not in a hurry. Too many I have encountered that have a deadline to be married and have babies or else! Really? Shouldn't we figure out this mystery called life together for a little bit before we get down to business? I realize I am getting older and the window is closing but I don't think that's an excuse to cut to the chase. I want someone who isn't on a specific shot clock. If something happens it is because it is spontaneous, to an extent, but also a "logical" conclusion.
· A best friend. I want that buddy-buddy aspect laced in with what the relationship brings. I want that friendship/companionship that seems to be apparent in most healthy relationships. I'll know it's there when others refer to us as a pairing like peanut butter and jelly, black and white, that kind of a combination. This takes time, I know, but past experiences have shown that I've been quick to be judged and figured out when I know I'm more to it than simple surface scans. It's just silly to me that this stage is almost always skipped in favor of getting right to the marriage and baby making stuff.
· A self-thinker. Someone who is they way they are because they make it that way. I'm tired of people dominated by opinion. Because you like to eat hamburgers and drink booze doesn't mean you're fat. Hell, I love a girl that looks like they can cut loose on occasion. Everything in moderation, yes, but don't let the outside world tell you who and what you are. Be your damned self.
· Someone non-religious or tolerant to the faithless. I respect you because you go to church and believe a God which are both clearly important to you. Respect me because I respectfully believe I am better off without such things which is important to me. And don't let this make a silly conclusion like "Well, you don't go to church or believe in a God so how can I marry you one day?" Uhm, it's something called a non-religious ceremony. I'm a believer of the real witnesses to a marriage, not some mythical guy in the clouds.
· Communication. Talk to me about anything without fear. I can talk to you about anything without fear. I love you and you love me, nothing can be said that would challenge this. Our ability to just sit down and sort ourselves out together without getting violent at each other. Yes, we may get violent about whatever is troubling us but it'll never be because of us. There isn't anything we couldn't work out. I've had a taste of this with somebody long ago so I know this is a trait that exists.
· Give as much as you take. I tire of this being out of balance. I don't think of this as a charity war but, come on, you know when you're guilty of this one way or the other. I know I do. Usually as a giver if I give to much I simply stop giving and allow time for reciprocation. Usually I don't get it so normally I just act how I want to act and forget about how I'd like for things to play out.
Other than that, anything else is bonus (that and my thoughts on the subject are winding down, probably a few more to add on later). I don't think this is much to ask for but I'm starting to believe it is. A part of me, however, is telling me to remain patient. I'm only going through what I am going through because the best is yet to come and I shouldn't be in a hurry to settle for less. I deserve more and it is coming, hold out a little longer. I'll know when I'll know. My support group, I feel, has been on me about this all along so who better to believe than those closest to you? I sincerely feel I do too much right and feel so good about the future that I will eventually get the small things I am asking for.