What do you do?
So my promises of keeping a better journal have failed miserably but what can you do? And no, every sentence isn't going to end with that phrase, it was just fitting at the moment. I am once again expecting a baby, a boy this time and frankly, I am not sure how I feel about this. I wanted more children, it always seemed that I could never have enough, no matter what it did to my body or pocket book but I never wanted them like this. I dreamed of being happily married to their father and living the american dream of a mini van, 2 dogs and cats and a house full of laughing children. Not of wondering what the hell am I going to do now? I am very excited about him (yes he does have a name, no I am not saying because the father and I agreed not to announce it until he was born) and I am already madly in love with him as any mom would be but I am scared of the future, of his future.