Disaster Area
Godsdamnit, I leave the interwebs for two days, and my flist is full of awesome posts that I don't have the time to read. Somewhat selfishly I'm concentrating on writing up my posts.
I'm hiding from my courses again today. I'm distraught after last nights mental health class. Distraught, ashamed, a whole whirlwind of negative emotions. Why? I nearly hit people. I never cope well with feelings of violence. One of the few things I can be proud of in this world is that I've never started a fight and I've never hit anyone*. I just don't seem to get thoughts or urges of violence at all often. I'm used to getting them when it comes to nazi's/bnp members/fascists. But in those circumstances they're easy to control, and remotely justifiable, even then I end up very upset with myself, just for having those feelings.
Last night I had the biggest feeling of violence I've had in my life. I feel crap, really don't want to be around people, and have an uber low opinion of myself at the moment. So what provoked this? Not nazi's or any right wing types, nope it was a pair of grade A morons. The kind of person that makes you wonder how they survive in the world, because all you can imagine them doing is repetedly getting their heads stuck in railings or trying to pick things out of fires with their bare hands.
I don't mean to denigrate anyone in my groups who isn't as quick as everyone else or has trouble getting everything first time round. It annoys me to hell hearing the same thing twice in a seminar, but it's cool. I mean last night we had lots of questions from the morons, and a couple from others. One erson asked about the Psychosexual theories because she didn't quite get it. That's cool, I don't think anyone quite gets the bat shit insane works of freud. Another person asked if the methods we were discussing could be compared to the psychological methods used in a clock work orange. I felt love then. They were senisble questions, they were understandable.
The tutor did her speaking, this time about aversion therapy. She blatently used the word 'punishment' to describe certain old school methods- giving people shocks when they were aroused by something for example. Dipshit number one then asked if it was the same as giving a dog a treat after it had done something. What?. Is this woman so fucking ignorant that she didn't take in anything the tutor said, particulary the words 'aversion' and 'punishment'? Or is she so fucking moronic that she can't comprehend the words 'aversion' and 'punishment'. I was so close to cracking her across the back of the skull. Her friend for some reason decided to bang on about when she was bereved and had depression. Because death always equals depression, obviously. She then started calling anti-depressants 'depression tablets'. Again. What? Are you a fucking five year old? No? Then speak like a fucking grown up who'se been sat reading about antidepressants for the past hour. What you're grammatically insinuating there is that the tablets gave you depression.
We also discussed brain meat surgery. Everyone got it apart from fucktard. She had to hacve it explained, again, to her. She then asked what it was usefull for in treating. This is while we each had a list headed 'Treatments for anxiety disorders'. Well, gee, I dunno, how about its used for treating anxiety disorders you fuck head?
Their stupidity and ignorance crosses time borders. Despite having a list of future session, amongst them listed 'Depression and Mood disorders', they decided the need to interupt the seminar on anxiety to ask 'What's chronic depression and whats manic depression'. Well why not use a basic grasp of the english bastard language and assume that chronic depression, is well, chronic, for lack of another fucking word, and manic depression, involves some mania, or possibly manic behaviour. And why not wait till next fucking week when we'll be doing it anyway you gonad.
These people who are apparantly training to be nurses (fuck the NHS is doomed) also got arsey when they were told we wouldn't be doing anything about alzhimers or parkinsons. Because strangley enough the course title involves the word psychology, and they're biological conditions.
You two out of the fucking gene pool.
I guess to most of you those seem pathetic reasons for wanting to physically assault someone for the first time in my life.
I'm moving desks next week.
I'm hiding from my courses again today. I'm distraught after last nights mental health class. Distraught, ashamed, a whole whirlwind of negative emotions. Why? I nearly hit people. I never cope well with feelings of violence. One of the few things I can be proud of in this world is that I've never started a fight and I've never hit anyone*. I just don't seem to get thoughts or urges of violence at all often. I'm used to getting them when it comes to nazi's/bnp members/fascists. But in those circumstances they're easy to control, and remotely justifiable, even then I end up very upset with myself, just for having those feelings.
Last night I had the biggest feeling of violence I've had in my life. I feel crap, really don't want to be around people, and have an uber low opinion of myself at the moment. So what provoked this? Not nazi's or any right wing types, nope it was a pair of grade A morons. The kind of person that makes you wonder how they survive in the world, because all you can imagine them doing is repetedly getting their heads stuck in railings or trying to pick things out of fires with their bare hands.
I don't mean to denigrate anyone in my groups who isn't as quick as everyone else or has trouble getting everything first time round. It annoys me to hell hearing the same thing twice in a seminar, but it's cool. I mean last night we had lots of questions from the morons, and a couple from others. One erson asked about the Psychosexual theories because she didn't quite get it. That's cool, I don't think anyone quite gets the bat shit insane works of freud. Another person asked if the methods we were discussing could be compared to the psychological methods used in a clock work orange. I felt love then. They were senisble questions, they were understandable.
The tutor did her speaking, this time about aversion therapy. She blatently used the word 'punishment' to describe certain old school methods- giving people shocks when they were aroused by something for example. Dipshit number one then asked if it was the same as giving a dog a treat after it had done something. What?. Is this woman so fucking ignorant that she didn't take in anything the tutor said, particulary the words 'aversion' and 'punishment'? Or is she so fucking moronic that she can't comprehend the words 'aversion' and 'punishment'. I was so close to cracking her across the back of the skull. Her friend for some reason decided to bang on about when she was bereved and had depression. Because death always equals depression, obviously. She then started calling anti-depressants 'depression tablets'. Again. What? Are you a fucking five year old? No? Then speak like a fucking grown up who'se been sat reading about antidepressants for the past hour. What you're grammatically insinuating there is that the tablets gave you depression.
We also discussed brain meat surgery. Everyone got it apart from fucktard. She had to hacve it explained, again, to her. She then asked what it was usefull for in treating. This is while we each had a list headed 'Treatments for anxiety disorders'. Well, gee, I dunno, how about its used for treating anxiety disorders you fuck head?
Their stupidity and ignorance crosses time borders. Despite having a list of future session, amongst them listed 'Depression and Mood disorders', they decided the need to interupt the seminar on anxiety to ask 'What's chronic depression and whats manic depression'. Well why not use a basic grasp of the english bastard language and assume that chronic depression, is well, chronic, for lack of another fucking word, and manic depression, involves some mania, or possibly manic behaviour. And why not wait till next fucking week when we'll be doing it anyway you gonad.
These people who are apparantly training to be nurses (fuck the NHS is doomed) also got arsey when they were told we wouldn't be doing anything about alzhimers or parkinsons. Because strangley enough the course title involves the word psychology, and they're biological conditions.
You two out of the fucking gene pool.
I guess to most of you those seem pathetic reasons for wanting to physically assault someone for the first time in my life.
I'm moving desks next week.