2010-2011 Professor quotes cont.
Second Term!
"My great hero and friend, Forrest Gump."
- Hebb
"I'm allowed to do that, it's called tenure."
- Desroches
"It's all illegal now but I don't care."
- Desroches
"I check my e-mail during class!"
- Desroches
"Temple priestess/harlot."
- Hebb
"I paint it like a mean thing but it's quite the opposite; I'm generous and benevolent."
- Desroches
"I say you'll be ejected but there's no ejection button. There is an alligator."
- Desroches
"I don't like students."
- Desroches
"Has anyone encountered a poem, you read it and you're like 'What the fuck is this?'"
- Desroches
"I don't like students."
- Desroches
"About every 10 minutes I'll say 'the most important thing you can do with your life is..."
- Desroches
"Nietzchse, of course, is a crank."
- Desroches
"You don't have a mom and dad because you're made out of dirt."
- Hebb
"Jesus Christ. I say that as a prayer, not profanity."
- Desroches
"Don't confuse me with a teacher. I'm a shitty teacher."
- Desroches
"APA sucks, don't do it in English."
- Cornell
"We have to stand on our head and turn around three times before we can give you handouts."
- Cornell
"Think of this class not as a package of hot dogs, but as a savoury stew."
- Kathymac & Cornell
"You're like Robin Vose in the history department. He knows like nine languages without trying, step into a new one and knows it right away...He has a chip actually. I asked him once."
- Desroches
"Leaf, disclose unto me what you are. Disclose unto me leafness."
- Desroches
"Poetry is violent."
- Desroches
"Decaf coffee, what the fuck is the point of that?"
- Desroches
"Let's go damage some money. Class project, then we'll go to the polic station."
- Desroches
"I got a headache and had to go to bed from eating a Cadbury Creme egg."
- Desroches
"Bad example, but a really cute goth guy comes to mind."
- Cornell
"I kind of like the making out option."
- Cornell
"You all still believe in english or something."
- Desroches
"That's why I believe in aliens, and possibly god like entities but mostly aliens."
- Desroches
"I'm starting a program called Minor Ideas. Vaguely Interesting Ideas."
- Desroches
"When you don't want to write poetry anymore, that's the scariest thing."
- Desroches
"The wheel of fortune existed centuries before Pat Sajak."
- Cornell
"If you're looking for a stron female role model, it's hard to beat Athena."
- Hebb
"In other news, Rome is all screwed up."
- Cornell
"Poor Bassianus is so confused, he think merit has something to do with politics."
- Cornell
"That;s your class - me, surfing the internet."
- Desroches
"How potentially awkward this moment is."
- Desroches
"You were all writing down; it was kind of funny. I mean, not funny. You're all very good students."
- Desroches
"Whenever I get the chance to write 'phallus' or 'penis', I take it."
- Desroches
"I love the Derrida movie; it has explosions, helicopters and steamy sex scenes."
- Desroches
"The fishheads? Oh! Of course! Stalin!"
- Kathymac
"It's like they read Ovid as a how-to manual for rapists."
- Cornell
"I'm going to look like Popeye reading Shakespeare."
- Cornell
"It' hard to figure out whar the organs are up to. You just know it's bad when they fall out."
- Cornell
"Philosophers are like rock stars."
- Desroches
"It's just a guy with a van, but he has a website so he must be legit."
- Kathymac
"If Titus [Andronicus] asks you over for dinner, say no."
- Cornell
"I won't be there to judge who went and who didn't went."
- Desroches
"Life is one crisis after another."
- Desroches
"I think he killed his wife."
- Desroches
"One day I'm going to have a course on just Derrida and no one will enroll and it'll be the best course ever. Just get to listen to myself talk."
- Desroches
"Some sort of Shakespeare hoedown."
- Cornell
"Though in grade 8 I was air guitar master of the year. Def Leppard. Ever hear of them? Yeah? That's sad, for all of us."
- Desroches
"You guys live in a pretty shitty world."
- Desroches
"Stalin wasn't bad, I mean, he was evil, but..."
- Desroches
"Probably only one or two of you would have to die."
- Desroches
"Again, if I'm offending any of you, I mean to do that."
- Desroches
"Well, here I've got a human foot. Forgot I brought it with me."
- McLaughlin
"We all have snake brains."
- McLaughlin
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer is an emblem of 3rd wave feminism."
- Kathymac
"I don't know how people can read books."
- Desroches
"Why'd they put Mr. Bilbo out in the storm?"
- Cornell
"I had to park so far away I though I was in a different universe."
- Desroches
"All the jokes I make are the worst kind of taste."
- Desroches
"Yeah, there'll be late penalties, whatever."
- Cornell
"Odysseus is the old day Dr. Phil."
- Hebb
"My books were on the shelf. A good place to keep books. On a shelf."
- Desroches
"France had to go home because he left something plugged in or something."
- Cornell
"If only Adorno was around to play Grand Theft Auto."
- Desroches
"The real problem isn't that people have 14 jobs, they're all fucking playing World of Warcraft."
- Desroches
"Engineers don't give a fuck."
- Desroches
"I can only watch movies with explosions."
- Desroches
"If you never talk to strangers, the chance is you're never going to sleep with one."
- Cornell
"Ohhh...Ahhh...I love reading...I want to read books..."
- Desroches
"Not everyone wants to teach 'Tis A Pity She's A Whore."
- Cornell
"Romeo and Juliet are stupid characters."
- Cornell
"I work on 5 dimensions. Everyone else only uses 3. Puny minds."
- Desroches
"Students can get on facebook and say 'Desroches is the biggest fucking asshole' and they do it! I've seen it! It's amazing I even have students."
- Desroches
"They go King Lear on her."
- Cornell
"Murdering people still feels a little extreme compared to pre-marital sex."
- Cornell
"Achilles is not picking up puppies on the way."
- Cornell
"We don't like this play because it's dumb."
- Cornell
"This could be the apocalypse, everyone."
- Desroches
"Go to Italy. Guys are kissing each other all the time. And not Don 'kill you now' kisses."
- Cornell
"Even puppies and kittens have families."
- Cornell
"Good thing I have students to tell me what the lecture is about."
- Desroches
"When you get the takehome, you'll experience one, two, maybe three moments of terror and anxiety but it'll flow through and everything will be okay. Maybe."
- Desroches
"My great hero and friend, Forrest Gump."
- Hebb
"I'm allowed to do that, it's called tenure."
- Desroches
"It's all illegal now but I don't care."
- Desroches
"I check my e-mail during class!"
- Desroches
"Temple priestess/harlot."
- Hebb
"I paint it like a mean thing but it's quite the opposite; I'm generous and benevolent."
- Desroches
"I say you'll be ejected but there's no ejection button. There is an alligator."
- Desroches
"I don't like students."
- Desroches
"Has anyone encountered a poem, you read it and you're like 'What the fuck is this?'"
- Desroches
"I don't like students."
- Desroches
"About every 10 minutes I'll say 'the most important thing you can do with your life is..."
- Desroches
"Nietzchse, of course, is a crank."
- Desroches
"You don't have a mom and dad because you're made out of dirt."
- Hebb
"Jesus Christ. I say that as a prayer, not profanity."
- Desroches
"Don't confuse me with a teacher. I'm a shitty teacher."
- Desroches
"APA sucks, don't do it in English."
- Cornell
"We have to stand on our head and turn around three times before we can give you handouts."
- Cornell
"Think of this class not as a package of hot dogs, but as a savoury stew."
- Kathymac & Cornell
"You're like Robin Vose in the history department. He knows like nine languages without trying, step into a new one and knows it right away...He has a chip actually. I asked him once."
- Desroches
"Leaf, disclose unto me what you are. Disclose unto me leafness."
- Desroches
"Poetry is violent."
- Desroches
"Decaf coffee, what the fuck is the point of that?"
- Desroches
"Let's go damage some money. Class project, then we'll go to the polic station."
- Desroches
"I got a headache and had to go to bed from eating a Cadbury Creme egg."
- Desroches
"Bad example, but a really cute goth guy comes to mind."
- Cornell
"I kind of like the making out option."
- Cornell
"You all still believe in english or something."
- Desroches
"That's why I believe in aliens, and possibly god like entities but mostly aliens."
- Desroches
"I'm starting a program called Minor Ideas. Vaguely Interesting Ideas."
- Desroches
"When you don't want to write poetry anymore, that's the scariest thing."
- Desroches
"The wheel of fortune existed centuries before Pat Sajak."
- Cornell
"If you're looking for a stron female role model, it's hard to beat Athena."
- Hebb
"In other news, Rome is all screwed up."
- Cornell
"Poor Bassianus is so confused, he think merit has something to do with politics."
- Cornell
"That;s your class - me, surfing the internet."
- Desroches
"How potentially awkward this moment is."
- Desroches
"You were all writing down; it was kind of funny. I mean, not funny. You're all very good students."
- Desroches
"Whenever I get the chance to write 'phallus' or 'penis', I take it."
- Desroches
"I love the Derrida movie; it has explosions, helicopters and steamy sex scenes."
- Desroches
"The fishheads? Oh! Of course! Stalin!"
- Kathymac
"It's like they read Ovid as a how-to manual for rapists."
- Cornell
"I'm going to look like Popeye reading Shakespeare."
- Cornell
"It' hard to figure out whar the organs are up to. You just know it's bad when they fall out."
- Cornell
"Philosophers are like rock stars."
- Desroches
"It's just a guy with a van, but he has a website so he must be legit."
- Kathymac
"If Titus [Andronicus] asks you over for dinner, say no."
- Cornell
"I won't be there to judge who went and who didn't went."
- Desroches
"Life is one crisis after another."
- Desroches
"I think he killed his wife."
- Desroches
"One day I'm going to have a course on just Derrida and no one will enroll and it'll be the best course ever. Just get to listen to myself talk."
- Desroches
"Some sort of Shakespeare hoedown."
- Cornell
"Though in grade 8 I was air guitar master of the year. Def Leppard. Ever hear of them? Yeah? That's sad, for all of us."
- Desroches
"You guys live in a pretty shitty world."
- Desroches
"Stalin wasn't bad, I mean, he was evil, but..."
- Desroches
"Probably only one or two of you would have to die."
- Desroches
"Again, if I'm offending any of you, I mean to do that."
- Desroches
"Well, here I've got a human foot. Forgot I brought it with me."
- McLaughlin
"We all have snake brains."
- McLaughlin
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer is an emblem of 3rd wave feminism."
- Kathymac
"I don't know how people can read books."
- Desroches
"Why'd they put Mr. Bilbo out in the storm?"
- Cornell
"I had to park so far away I though I was in a different universe."
- Desroches
"All the jokes I make are the worst kind of taste."
- Desroches
"Yeah, there'll be late penalties, whatever."
- Cornell
"Odysseus is the old day Dr. Phil."
- Hebb
"My books were on the shelf. A good place to keep books. On a shelf."
- Desroches
"France had to go home because he left something plugged in or something."
- Cornell
"If only Adorno was around to play Grand Theft Auto."
- Desroches
"The real problem isn't that people have 14 jobs, they're all fucking playing World of Warcraft."
- Desroches
"Engineers don't give a fuck."
- Desroches
"I can only watch movies with explosions."
- Desroches
"If you never talk to strangers, the chance is you're never going to sleep with one."
- Cornell
"Ohhh...Ahhh...I love reading...I want to read books..."
- Desroches
"Not everyone wants to teach 'Tis A Pity She's A Whore."
- Cornell
"Romeo and Juliet are stupid characters."
- Cornell
"I work on 5 dimensions. Everyone else only uses 3. Puny minds."
- Desroches
"Students can get on facebook and say 'Desroches is the biggest fucking asshole' and they do it! I've seen it! It's amazing I even have students."
- Desroches
"They go King Lear on her."
- Cornell
"Murdering people still feels a little extreme compared to pre-marital sex."
- Cornell
"Achilles is not picking up puppies on the way."
- Cornell
"We don't like this play because it's dumb."
- Cornell
"This could be the apocalypse, everyone."
- Desroches
"Go to Italy. Guys are kissing each other all the time. And not Don 'kill you now' kisses."
- Cornell
"Even puppies and kittens have families."
- Cornell
"Good thing I have students to tell me what the lecture is about."
- Desroches
"When you get the takehome, you'll experience one, two, maybe three moments of terror and anxiety but it'll flow through and everything will be okay. Maybe."
- Desroches