Fic: "Eidolons" 2/5 ¤Blues/Rockman, ¤ PG-13 ¤ Romance. Angst. Tragedy.
Title: Eidolons.
Author: Nemesi.
Fandom: Rockman.EXE (MMBN)
Genre: Romance. Angst. Tragedy.
Word Count: Chapter:2.825 Whole fic: 13.934 circa (undertaking revisions).
Characters: Saito Hikari/Rockman, Hikari Netto, Hikari Yuuichiro, Blues, Ijiuin Enzan. Others mentioned.
Rating: PG-13.
Disclaimer: Rockman.EXE, its characters, places and themes belong to Capcom, Shogakukan, ShoPro, TV Tokio, etc. No copyright infringement is intended.
Warnings: AU. Shounen-ai.
A/N: I’ve been plagued by this idea for a while now. ♥ And I’ve fallen rather hard for this AU.
Summary: What if despite his heart disease Saito had not died and be turned into Rockman? Would he still have fallen in love with Blues, and Blues with him, even if one was a human, and the other a Navi…?
* * * * *
A journal excerpt:
…it’s not like I don’t want to get better; I do. I want to run about, to make sports. I want to be able to sit in the sun for more than a measly thirty minutes before swaying. I want to live, like other people my age do. I want to get on a roller-coaster, I want to run the three-legged marathon with Dad at the school’s Festival; I want to fly a kite, explore the ruins on the other edge of the park and swim in the lake’s chilling waters when it’s March and my classmates dare each other to go skinny dipping. I want to be able to skate after the school bus when Netto and I miss it in the morning, and get drenched on my way back home, because it’s pouring and I forgot my umbrella, and running wouldn’t cause any more damage than make me short of breath.
I want to get better. I really do.
But there are times when I wonder if that shiny dark place I see in my dreams isn’t where I was supposed to be; and if bringing me back wasn’t a mistake. I wonder if I should be alive in the first place, when living means sitting in a glass dome, with my face and palms pressed to the fogging glass, watching the rest of the world go about its business and leave me behind.
It’s… complicated. I don’t want to die. But I want to live. A real life, not the half-thing I’m stuck with now.
In truth, there are times when I really, truly feel alive. And the funny things is: they feel a lot like death.
My heart is capricious; the merest thing will make it lurch into a gallop, or clam up like a resentful child. But there are times - the most terrible and pleasurable at once - when my heart starts skipping, and pounding, and cartwheeling, beating against my ribcage as though trying to get out, and then stuttering and swooning and drowning back into place, going soft as candy, and they have got nothing to do with disease.
Nothing.
And I live for those moments when I feel I’m about to die, because they only come about when he is with me.
* * * * *
He’d spent so much time in his father’s lab, it’d become as familiar to him as his own room.
All those machineries - the huge monitors, the beeping consoles, the looming hard-drives, the multitude of cables coiling across the room like snakes or ribbons, the harsh, sterile light and greying walls, the copper-burn ozone smell, mixed with the acrid tang of disinfectant - everything in the room should’ve worked to instil a sense of uneasiness inside Saito.
But it wasn’t like that.
In the cool cocoon of Yuuichiro’s lab Saito felt safe, oddly peaceful. He stood unashamed before the scanning machine, clad in nothing but his underwear. There were skin electrodes attached to his chest and wrists to record his heartbeat and temperature, and four more had been applied to his temples and sides of his neck. A needle had been stuck in back of his hand to check his blood’s chemical balance.
The soles of his feet, bare against the tiled floor, felt like ice. His legs were going numb for having to stand still for so long, but Saito didn’t show any outward sign of discomfort, or impatience. Every now and then he would glance about, then catch himself and go back to perfect stillness.
Yuuichiro appreciated the effort - with such sensitive machineries, even the slightest change of posture might cause a false reading - and gave his son a comforting smile, which was mirrored.
“You’re doing good, Saito-chan,” he offered gently.
He turned to type something very quickly on his laptop, then switched monitors. Saito shifted his weight from one leg to the other, and felt a chill run up from the base to his feet all the way up to his head, making the fine hair on his nape stand at attention.
“Cold?” Yuuichiro asked.
“A little. But it’s not that bad, really.”
“Hold on for a little longer… we’re almost done.”
Which was true. A couple of minutes later, Saito was freed from sensors and needle, and immediately reached for his jacket. He wrapped it around his shoulders and climbed on the examination table, sitting with his knees up and his chin tucked between them, trying to warm up.
Yuuichiro produced the apple from his lunch bag, and offered it to Saito. The boy sank his teeth in the juicy pulp, feeling his mouth and the inside of his wrist get sticky with moistness, and watched as his father compared notes on two different monitors.
“Nee, Saito-kun?”
“Yes, Papa?”
“Has your cardiologist…”
“…heard from his colleague in Ameroupe?” Saito finished for him. “Yes, but it seems that new drug they’re testing won’t work for me, so he didn’t sign me up in the project.”
Yuuichiro stilled. He took off his glasses with a weariness that looked wrong and moving in someone so young, and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
“And he still thinks that hospitalizing you won’t do any good?”
“He says…” Saito trailed off. “…Gokuraku-hakase says that there’s no reason I should live my life hooked up like a puppet on its strings, and drugged stupid,” he finished after a while. “Not when there’s no cure.”
Yuuichiro nodded, a little too briskly. His lips tightened in a line, and a look of determination stole by his dark eyes.
“Saito, I promise you: no matter how hopeless it looks, I will…”
A knock at the door interrupted him.
“Hikari-hakase?” someone called from outside. Then, louder: “Hikari-hakase?”
Yuuichiro exhaled shakily. He put his glasses back on, and on also came his smile, pale and tired as it was. As Saito stepped behind a folding screen, Yuuichiro invited his assistant in.
The door slid open to reveal a young man, fresh from college, with pale yellow hair tied back in a messy ponytail and a fine line of stubble on his chin.
“I’m sorry to intrude, Hikari-hakase, but you asked to be notified as soon as test DA-153 was complete…” he trailed off, offering a shrug. Yuuichiro lit up considerably at the news, and gestured for his assistant to hand him the report.
Three long strides of his lanky, slender legs carried the young man in front of Yuuichiro’s desk. He produced a data-disk from his coat’s pocket, then handed it and a clipboard to his superior. Yuuichiro scanned the notes through, then dismissed his assistant.
The young man was almost at the door when Yuuichiro called after him, almost as an afterthought:
“Could you send in the test-subject? I’d like to check on him.”
The assistant looked dubious. He sent a glance at Saito, who had just finished dressing and was reclaiming his place on the examination table, then looked back at his superior.
“You never mentioned a…”
“A mere precaution, I assure you.” Yuuichiro flashed the young man a disarming smile. “We’re testing a new technology; it only makes sense to check it had no malicious after-effect on the subject.”
His assistant looked dubious still, but his head moved in an hesitant nod.
“I… guess. But I’m not sure the Op will…”
“He will. Don’t worry. Just send the test subject in.”
Another patented Hikari smile later, the assistant was off to do his bidding. Saito blinked questioningly at his father.
“Papa? Should I take my leave now?”
The smirk Yuuichiro sent his way should have been enough of a warning that his father Was Scheming Something. It wasn’t.
“Don’t bother, Saito. I’m sure the DA test subject won’t have anything to object to your presence here.”
“They won’t?” Cautiously now, because not even Saito could miss that odd glint in his father’s eyes.
“I’m positive.”
“And who exactly is…”
“You called for me, Hikari-Hakase?”
Saito’s face went so red, so quick, and his eyes grew so huge, so fast it would’ve looked funny, if it wasn’t so damn cute. Yuuichiro turned in his swivel chair so that he was facing the PC to his left.
“Indeed I have,” he confirmed with real warmth in his voice. “Please, log in the main processor.”
The huge monitor behind Yuuichiro flickered to life as the Navi pixelated into view. He wore his customary helmet with the heavy shades covering half his face, but it was easy to tell he wasn’t completely at ease. He was either weary and drained after the experiment, or in a hurry to go back to IPC before the President, Shuuseki Ijuin, started to yell for his and Enzan’s prolonged absence.
“Ah, that’s better. Thank you Blues. Now, I’d like to run a few diagnostics, if you don’t mind. It’s just a precaution, but one I feel we should take.”
Blues wavered for a moment, then acquiesced, albeit warily. Yuuichiro turned his attention back to his keyboard, waving a hand in the general direction of the examination table.
“You two find a way to pass the time - I won’t be long.”
Blues gave a curt nod, then glanced with mild curiosity in the direction Yuuichiro had gestured at, wondering who else was in the room.
He found Saito peering at him through his long lashes, eyes huge, a faint dusting of pink on his cheeks. He was sitting on his hands on the examination table, legs hanging from the edge. His feet were naked still, and looked shell-white and almost threadbare under the harsh neon light, toes wriggling nervously about.
When he spoke, his voice was soft, almost breathy, vibrating with a joyful emotion.
“Hello, Buruusu.”
Blues’s whole demeanour melted on the spot. His shoulders unwound from their tense stance, and a smile blossomed on his mouth like sunshine.
“Saito,” he acknowledged gently, and his voice carried the same pleased expectance as Saito’s own.
Saito smiled back at him, a smile that lit up his whole face. He bit his bottom lip to try and contain his reaction, then rearranged himself shyly on the table. His heart was pounding, a low beat echoing in his ears. He could only hope his blush wasn’t as evident as it felt.
“I haven’t seen much of you, lately,” he said softly. I missed you.
Blues seemed to catch on the unspoken words, and his voice was faintly apologizing when he replied: “We’ve been very busy with missions. We caught wind of a new criminal organization on the rise, and had to investigate every possible route.”
Saito shifted towards him.
“You had to go to the… Undernet?” his voice was hushed when he spoke of the forbidden server.
Blues nodded.
“Among other places, yes. I had to spend a fortnight in Ameroupe, and had a quick tour of Sharo, too.”
Saito looked at him in delight.
“Aw, you’re so lucky, Buruusu.”
Blues raised an eyebrow, though what good it made from behind the visor is anyone’s guess.
“How so?”
“I would give anything to do what you do.”
“Wipe the floor with viruses?”
There was a teasing note in his voice, which Saito didn’t fail to catch. He rolled his eyes accordingly, leaning a little towards him.
“No, Ego-sama,” he teased, eyes twinkling.
Blues shrugged.
“It’s not my fault I can’t find one single opponent that’s in my league.”
Saito laughed, a sweet sound.
“True, but I was referring to the travelling.” He sounded wistful for a moment. “I wish I could see the world; see all the places you always tell me about. The snowy plains of Brightland, the white shores of Jawaii. The red temples in Choina, ‘their slender columns caught in the spires of golden-scaled dragons, that slither and slink earthwards to kiss their quivering reflection on the Blue River’.”
A look of pure pleasure flickered across what little was visible of Blues’s face.
“You read it.”
Saito nodded, with a delight that could be nothing else but genuine.
“It was a lovely book, Buruusu, even better than what you told me!” It was no secret that Saito was an avid reader. With his weak physique, pencil and books where the only pastimes he could indulge in without fear.
But the books that Blues gifted him touched something deeper than the rest; turned his deepest dreams and hopes into image and word, enriching and moving him in ways he couldn’t explain, as though (and that might be the truth, mind you) Blues knew his hopes and needs better than Saito himself.
“I got it printed down, and read it twice already,” the boy revealed, trying not to blush.
And failing, most endearingly so.
“And got some parts memorized?”
Saito stuttered, squirming. Amazing how Blues was, at the same time, the one person he felt most relaxed and most nervous around.
“A… err…pparently.”
“Good,” Blues said with an hint of amusement in his voice. “Because I’ve bought you more.” And the grateful smile he got from Saito was all the reward he could ask for.
“Thank you, Buruusu. You didn’t have to.”
“It was nothing,” he shook his head, silver hair dancing about his shoulders. “I couldn’t help but think of you when I saw those e-books in Ameroupe, and so I downloaded them for you.”
The nervousness seemed to slid off Saito like water, a work of magic. His blush subsided, and the twinkle of pleasure in his eyes became much brighter.
“Bu…”
Right then, as if on cue, Netto slammed the door open, causing Saito to jump a feet in the air (though Blues remained unruffled), and bounded inside.
“Rockman!!!! You should’ve seen it! That new PET’s so-oh, hey there, Blues!”
Blues bowed his head politely.
“Netto-san.”
Saito was trying not to glare at Netto, with just about the same successful rate as his previous endeavour not to blush.
“Rockman? Is it Rockman, now? Netto!”
“What? It’s cute!” Netto pouted defensively. He skated up to the examination table and hopped on beside Saito. He leaned towards his twin, unmindful of his glare, and explained: “Besides, it’s a charm.”
Saito rolled his eyes in exasperated amusement.
“Netto, I told you…”
Netto shook his head stubbornly, effectively silencing his twin.
“Rocks can withstand everything, right? So, if you are a rock, you will… well, withstand everything too, even this stupid disease, so I call you rock. But you’re a human too, Saito-nii, and so I thought that if I called you Rockman I’d cover, you know, both sides of the whole thing, and as I said before, it sounds cute.”
There followed a minute of silence. Then Blues said (and you could almost hear the quirked eyebrow in his voice):
“It makes sense, in its own, twisted little way.”
Netto gestured eloquently towards the Navi.
“See? Even Blues agrees with me!”
“I didn’t exactly…”
“He didn’t exactly…” Saito and Blues said as one, but Netto was too excited to listen.
“And if Blues agrees with me, then I must be right, because Blues is always right, and now that I think about it, Blues’s a kind of music and Rock’s too, and since the name is cute, and it is a charm, and it goes well with Blues’s own, then Rockman is what you are going to be called from now on. I said.”
There followed another long silence, then Yuuichiro piped up, from his forgotten corner amongst PCs:
“Well, it really makes sort of sense.” He risked a wave when the three turned as one towards him, half-surprised at his presence, and laughed at their reaction. Saito’s blushing cheeks were so cute, he looked good enough to eat. And catching Blues unaware was always fun.
Netto waved right back at his father, then jumped and skated over to go peer over his shoulder.
“What’cha workin’ on, Papa? It’s got anything to do with the PET Shigure showed me?”
“Shigure-san,” Saito corrected from his perch on the examination table. Netto bobbed his head up and down.
“What I said. So, Papa?”
“My DA - Dimensional Area - is going to be used with the PET Shigure and Enzan have been developing, so yes, it’s “got something to do with it”, Netto.”
“Dimensional Area?” Saito questioned, blinking. To which Netto added:
“What’s that?”
Yuuichiro’s face split in a most pleased grin.
“Blues was chosen as the main subject for this project, so he might be more apt than me to explain what a DA is, and what are its effects. Blues? If you please?”
Saito peered at Blues, and even though there were three people there to hear, the Navi’s words seemed to be spoken for him, and him alone.
“It allows Navis in the real world,” Blues said. “And gives them a concrete body.”
Saito’s heart lurched so hard, for a moment he thought he was underwater, and there was no air for him to breathe, and no noise for him to hear, and it was all that water that made his vision swim.
-TBC-
And finally, the moment we all have been waiting for: Blues has been introduced!!! How was it? For a while, I’d been tempted to have them meet for the first time in this chapter, but then I figured that making them long-time friends was much more appealing. :]
Speaking of which, you’ll have noticed that Saito uses the Japanese spelling of Blues’s name: “Buruusu”. Partly, it’s because Saito is Japanese. However, the main reason for it is that, at least in my mind, that sort of “nickname” hints subtly to the level of intimacy/friendship between them. They do have a history together, and the nickname sort of proves it, without being too obvious.
As for why Saito is a bit of bookworm… well, we all know that Rockman is bundle of energy that knows no rest. But Saito can’t channel his energy the way Rockman does: first because he’s human, and second because he’s terribly ill. I figured that pouring over drawings and books would be his best option, since they’re non-exertive, but highly-enjoyable past times. Besides, books allow him to live all kind the of adventures, and see all sort of places.