wednesday in amsterdam
my ass hurt from all the bike riding. the bike was a bit too big for me, so i had to press the pedals with my toes. i love bike riding though, it's so satisfying to be flying.
i went to the antique market the woman from sanementereng told me about. it was a maze of permanent booths and there was this art deco cafe sort of in the middle of the front, it was really nice, there were some funky dressed older people sipping coffees. i stopped at this one booth because it had all this jewelry made from metal, miniature detailed designs and these chunky rings, if i had enough money i would have bought everything. there was so much stuff it was hard to see everything, on the ground were two €1 drawers, so i pulled them out and found this tiny ivory man in a suit, this miniature mirror surrounded by a metal decorational leaf frame and a medalion. it's like some crazy thing...i'll take a picture of it.
no one was at the booth so its neighbor man was going to take my money and then he's like oh edith! and it was the woman from the coffeeshop!!!!! weird coincidence? so it was her booth. i ended up not getting the ivory suit man because he was wearing a suit.
she didn't have change but she'd be in her store later and i was planning on dropping by and getting some grass later so she said just to pay her then. i just rode around, stopped for a while in Vondelpark at this round cafe and had an expensive tea (€1.90) and watched all these girls wearing the clothes i wish i could afford/find and wrote a postcard. it was a pretty hip place, actually. see? i feel like i should have some short fur coat and silver astro leggings i wear as tights and turquoise ocean and cosmic-printed polyester dresses.
i stopped in the van gogh museum because anna let me borrow her museum pass, there was an exhibit of john everett millais, the one who did Ophelia, so i got to see it IN THE FLESH! sigh...
there was a contemporary Ophelia-inspired exhibit on the same floor. i really like the imagery of ophelia, i think it's probably going to end up in something i write. there's just something enchanting about the slow torturous romantic death of drowning, and the way hair and water react, it's beautiful.
i don't know, maybe it's feeding my obsession with death. though when you start thinking about millais' interpretation, it's rather disgusting. because he made ophelia fragile and weak, not tortured or hysterical at all, the painting is SEXUAL, it's beautiful. death and sex.
i didn't spend any time with van gogh, i zoomed around and stopped and looked at this one self portrait for a while (it's not even van gogh...oops. it's charles laval).
sped back to sanementereng because i had to meet anna at 4
this african guy was there and we talked a bit about hash, because i've never tried it before and want to. so i bought the hash that was the woman's favourite and a gram of bio marijauna.
(these are not my pictures)
anna and i went to a cafe so she could do some homework. she is absolutely fucking incapable of making decisions. i definitely get to practice my patience when i'm with her.
DEAD MEADOW
early
where are records by the faces? do they exist?? "why don't you come by tomorrow"
mail letters off
some other guy is haunting the front i go down to the canal that runs along the back of the paradiso and doodle on the back of a postcard until that guy comes and i wave him over and ask him to roll me a joint
he's from canada a musician blahblahblah, we smoke half the joint, by the second hit my ears change so i know it's good...i like when the lights on the water look like they're stars. he says he thought i was with the band.
when we're walking from the canal edge back to the front to see if the doors have opened he's shocked that i keep track of tour schedules.
talked to some locals a bit but that wasn't too interesting and then the doors opened so i checked my bag and accidentally left my rings in the bathroom so had to go back down.
cosmic boots, hot pink tights, sunflower dress, green v neck short shirt over it, medallion on an orange string, skull bracelet, hair in a braid
the guy from canada (i don't think he told me his name and i didn't ask) starts liking me or maybe he's just a bit horny but i cannot feel sexual if i'm at a show except for the performing musicians or like...someone like dion, ha.
plus from what he was describing i don't think i'd like his music and he was a little overweight. those are my excuses.
i am a strange combination of nervous, bored but compensating with hyperness, and high.
i do a lot of pacing and a bit of exploring. the venue didn't put them in the main hall, but a smaller longer side hall. for the longest time there are, like, maybe 8 people and then at 20:00, when they're supposed to start, at least 50 more people show up.
i keep wandering from the stage back to the guy from canada and i think he's afraid that i think he doesn't know equipment because he's high. it's always a goddamn test. he's like, do you know what that white pedal is??? uh, the tuner? haha. sigh. but i think it's pretty funny that he was worried i would think less of him. he kept asking me why i was nervous and i couldn't answer that
steve is doing his own merch. he's got thick thick rimmed glasses and is lanky lanky. it really takes them so long to come on, i must have had to wait an hour and a half. i positioned myself between the stage right and center sets of monitors because i want steve and because jason is loud enough. i found a sticker of theirs and a t-shirt and a nickel when i was waiting. so they had this intro soundscape of theirs, kind of reminded me of BRMC's intro THINGthing they always had and then jason came out and then stephen and then steve and i got really excited and jason started in and then the other two and i could feel the bass in the floorboards coming up right through the sole of my boots and into my legs. their head space was a lot better this time around. i think last time they were coked up, but this time they were with it and with each other and with the crowd and not arrogant spaced out individuals. jason still doesn't look at the crowd but that's okay because he keeps his eyes closed and is entirely moved by his instrument. steve took off his glasses and was quite physically active, walking and bouncing forward and back, not really in a sexy way, more in a cute way that became sexy. stephen was really with it and i was very very happy.
(this is steve kille, bassist of dead meadow. the picture is from flickr's breakingrebel)
i love their shows because dancing is a challenge, it's not easy and they cover a lot of ground, so you don't repeat movements that often. the instruments are really defined so it's also easy to pick and choose which one you're going to tap into, but it's also really easy to combine them.
it took me a couple songs but then i really got in the groove. the crowd was strange, everyone stood at least 4 feet back from the stage, i was the only one in the "front row"! it was a little weird, but i've learned that you've got to do what you feel and not let anything affect you, so i didn't care and stood up there and danced and let the rest of them keep back. it was kind of nice because i had A LOT OF SPACE and because nothing was in my peripheral vision, so it was all music, no distractions. it wasn't a sexual experience like it is when you dance to BRMC, at times it touched on it, but overall, it was different. i managed to tap into it completely, which was really good, i anticipated the progressions and breaks fairly well and would adapt my movement so that if it was tricky then it wouldn't look off even if they did a stop and i kept moving, because there was some funky shit at one point that i was actually laughing about.
i also love these shows because it's almost all guys in the audience and i think almost every single one is a musician himself, so there's this amazing respect for the music. there are no giggily girly pre pubes because it's too heavy for them, so it's just a great environment.
yeah i managed to align with the groove and stephen would look into my eyes and we would exchange these beaming smiles.
there's this line when you get into it where if you cross it, you're a stoned fan, but if you do it right you're on the same level, a part of the performance.
I LOVE STEVE'S BASS PARTS!!!!!!
everyone wanted them to keep going but they couldn't because another band was booked that night in the same hall. that was kind of a bummer but it ended on a really high note.
the guy from canada came up to me (THANK GOD he didn't cockblock during the show) and told me he was going to the alto (i told him the bourbon was a tourist trap) and then to the coffeeshop greenhouse, if i wanted to meet up with him. i would have gone if i hadn't wanted to get out of amsterdam so badly and i feel like if i did go he would have made sexual advances, and frankly, i wasn't interested in dealing with that.
i went up to these two boys because one of them was wearing an orange sunshine t-shirt and i needed to talk to him. i asked him if he was going to roadburn
and i don't think he really understood me but his blonde friend (who was cute but both of them were too young. look! i've progressed!! hahha) started talking to me instead about dead meadow and black mountain and my chances of getting into roadburn (because it is so totally sold out).
then i went to go get my bag so i could buy some merch and when i got back upstairs the two of them and their older friend were talking to steve. they must have talked to him for 15 minutes and i wish i could have heard what they were saying, but the mix next door was too loud.
when i finally got up to steve i was pretty shy, i don't think i even actually said the first thing outloud. i think i just mouthed it. i completely failed as a groupie. i think it would have helped if there was some sexual tension between us, but there was none. i asked a boring question or two and he rambled on one of them but got interrupted, i bought a shirt and the new album, he gave me both for 20, which is cool. we would kind of grin at each other but i was being this total wack spacecase. I SHOULD HAVE:
a) asked him if he wanted to smoke a joint with me in a bit
b) told him i would do their merch if he wanted, so he could go pack up but still be selling stuff
BUT NO i just muttered something and went off. jason came out and i think he would have said something to me, but how long would i have to wait?
i couldn't think of anything to say because i said everything through my dancing. i let them know what i liked the best and what didn't move me as much and i danced for them, what is left to say? it's hard.
i waited over a year for them to tour again and then i totally botched a biscuit option. even though i regret that, i still experienced an amazing show.
i left amsterdam that night. the train ride back to delft was a nightmare. what should have taken just under an hour took almost two. i was exhausted and slept and kept resetting my alarm.
that's all i have for you right now...
Keep On Walking
here's something fun:
roses from my neighbor--
rose from klaas--
i went to the antique market the woman from sanementereng told me about. it was a maze of permanent booths and there was this art deco cafe sort of in the middle of the front, it was really nice, there were some funky dressed older people sipping coffees. i stopped at this one booth because it had all this jewelry made from metal, miniature detailed designs and these chunky rings, if i had enough money i would have bought everything. there was so much stuff it was hard to see everything, on the ground were two €1 drawers, so i pulled them out and found this tiny ivory man in a suit, this miniature mirror surrounded by a metal decorational leaf frame and a medalion. it's like some crazy thing...i'll take a picture of it.
no one was at the booth so its neighbor man was going to take my money and then he's like oh edith! and it was the woman from the coffeeshop!!!!! weird coincidence? so it was her booth. i ended up not getting the ivory suit man because he was wearing a suit.
she didn't have change but she'd be in her store later and i was planning on dropping by and getting some grass later so she said just to pay her then. i just rode around, stopped for a while in Vondelpark at this round cafe and had an expensive tea (€1.90) and watched all these girls wearing the clothes i wish i could afford/find and wrote a postcard. it was a pretty hip place, actually. see? i feel like i should have some short fur coat and silver astro leggings i wear as tights and turquoise ocean and cosmic-printed polyester dresses.
i stopped in the van gogh museum because anna let me borrow her museum pass, there was an exhibit of john everett millais, the one who did Ophelia, so i got to see it IN THE FLESH! sigh...
there was a contemporary Ophelia-inspired exhibit on the same floor. i really like the imagery of ophelia, i think it's probably going to end up in something i write. there's just something enchanting about the slow torturous romantic death of drowning, and the way hair and water react, it's beautiful.
i don't know, maybe it's feeding my obsession with death. though when you start thinking about millais' interpretation, it's rather disgusting. because he made ophelia fragile and weak, not tortured or hysterical at all, the painting is SEXUAL, it's beautiful. death and sex.
i didn't spend any time with van gogh, i zoomed around and stopped and looked at this one self portrait for a while (it's not even van gogh...oops. it's charles laval).
sped back to sanementereng because i had to meet anna at 4
this african guy was there and we talked a bit about hash, because i've never tried it before and want to. so i bought the hash that was the woman's favourite and a gram of bio marijauna.
(these are not my pictures)
anna and i went to a cafe so she could do some homework. she is absolutely fucking incapable of making decisions. i definitely get to practice my patience when i'm with her.
DEAD MEADOW
early
where are records by the faces? do they exist?? "why don't you come by tomorrow"
mail letters off
some other guy is haunting the front i go down to the canal that runs along the back of the paradiso and doodle on the back of a postcard until that guy comes and i wave him over and ask him to roll me a joint
he's from canada a musician blahblahblah, we smoke half the joint, by the second hit my ears change so i know it's good...i like when the lights on the water look like they're stars. he says he thought i was with the band.
when we're walking from the canal edge back to the front to see if the doors have opened he's shocked that i keep track of tour schedules.
talked to some locals a bit but that wasn't too interesting and then the doors opened so i checked my bag and accidentally left my rings in the bathroom so had to go back down.
cosmic boots, hot pink tights, sunflower dress, green v neck short shirt over it, medallion on an orange string, skull bracelet, hair in a braid
the guy from canada (i don't think he told me his name and i didn't ask) starts liking me or maybe he's just a bit horny but i cannot feel sexual if i'm at a show except for the performing musicians or like...someone like dion, ha.
plus from what he was describing i don't think i'd like his music and he was a little overweight. those are my excuses.
i am a strange combination of nervous, bored but compensating with hyperness, and high.
i do a lot of pacing and a bit of exploring. the venue didn't put them in the main hall, but a smaller longer side hall. for the longest time there are, like, maybe 8 people and then at 20:00, when they're supposed to start, at least 50 more people show up.
i keep wandering from the stage back to the guy from canada and i think he's afraid that i think he doesn't know equipment because he's high. it's always a goddamn test. he's like, do you know what that white pedal is??? uh, the tuner? haha. sigh. but i think it's pretty funny that he was worried i would think less of him. he kept asking me why i was nervous and i couldn't answer that
steve is doing his own merch. he's got thick thick rimmed glasses and is lanky lanky. it really takes them so long to come on, i must have had to wait an hour and a half. i positioned myself between the stage right and center sets of monitors because i want steve and because jason is loud enough. i found a sticker of theirs and a t-shirt and a nickel when i was waiting. so they had this intro soundscape of theirs, kind of reminded me of BRMC's intro THINGthing they always had and then jason came out and then stephen and then steve and i got really excited and jason started in and then the other two and i could feel the bass in the floorboards coming up right through the sole of my boots and into my legs. their head space was a lot better this time around. i think last time they were coked up, but this time they were with it and with each other and with the crowd and not arrogant spaced out individuals. jason still doesn't look at the crowd but that's okay because he keeps his eyes closed and is entirely moved by his instrument. steve took off his glasses and was quite physically active, walking and bouncing forward and back, not really in a sexy way, more in a cute way that became sexy. stephen was really with it and i was very very happy.
(this is steve kille, bassist of dead meadow. the picture is from flickr's breakingrebel)
i love their shows because dancing is a challenge, it's not easy and they cover a lot of ground, so you don't repeat movements that often. the instruments are really defined so it's also easy to pick and choose which one you're going to tap into, but it's also really easy to combine them.
it took me a couple songs but then i really got in the groove. the crowd was strange, everyone stood at least 4 feet back from the stage, i was the only one in the "front row"! it was a little weird, but i've learned that you've got to do what you feel and not let anything affect you, so i didn't care and stood up there and danced and let the rest of them keep back. it was kind of nice because i had A LOT OF SPACE and because nothing was in my peripheral vision, so it was all music, no distractions. it wasn't a sexual experience like it is when you dance to BRMC, at times it touched on it, but overall, it was different. i managed to tap into it completely, which was really good, i anticipated the progressions and breaks fairly well and would adapt my movement so that if it was tricky then it wouldn't look off even if they did a stop and i kept moving, because there was some funky shit at one point that i was actually laughing about.
i also love these shows because it's almost all guys in the audience and i think almost every single one is a musician himself, so there's this amazing respect for the music. there are no giggily girly pre pubes because it's too heavy for them, so it's just a great environment.
yeah i managed to align with the groove and stephen would look into my eyes and we would exchange these beaming smiles.
there's this line when you get into it where if you cross it, you're a stoned fan, but if you do it right you're on the same level, a part of the performance.
I LOVE STEVE'S BASS PARTS!!!!!!
everyone wanted them to keep going but they couldn't because another band was booked that night in the same hall. that was kind of a bummer but it ended on a really high note.
the guy from canada came up to me (THANK GOD he didn't cockblock during the show) and told me he was going to the alto (i told him the bourbon was a tourist trap) and then to the coffeeshop greenhouse, if i wanted to meet up with him. i would have gone if i hadn't wanted to get out of amsterdam so badly and i feel like if i did go he would have made sexual advances, and frankly, i wasn't interested in dealing with that.
i went up to these two boys because one of them was wearing an orange sunshine t-shirt and i needed to talk to him. i asked him if he was going to roadburn
and i don't think he really understood me but his blonde friend (who was cute but both of them were too young. look! i've progressed!! hahha) started talking to me instead about dead meadow and black mountain and my chances of getting into roadburn (because it is so totally sold out).
then i went to go get my bag so i could buy some merch and when i got back upstairs the two of them and their older friend were talking to steve. they must have talked to him for 15 minutes and i wish i could have heard what they were saying, but the mix next door was too loud.
when i finally got up to steve i was pretty shy, i don't think i even actually said the first thing outloud. i think i just mouthed it. i completely failed as a groupie. i think it would have helped if there was some sexual tension between us, but there was none. i asked a boring question or two and he rambled on one of them but got interrupted, i bought a shirt and the new album, he gave me both for 20, which is cool. we would kind of grin at each other but i was being this total wack spacecase. I SHOULD HAVE:
a) asked him if he wanted to smoke a joint with me in a bit
b) told him i would do their merch if he wanted, so he could go pack up but still be selling stuff
BUT NO i just muttered something and went off. jason came out and i think he would have said something to me, but how long would i have to wait?
i couldn't think of anything to say because i said everything through my dancing. i let them know what i liked the best and what didn't move me as much and i danced for them, what is left to say? it's hard.
i waited over a year for them to tour again and then i totally botched a biscuit option. even though i regret that, i still experienced an amazing show.
i left amsterdam that night. the train ride back to delft was a nightmare. what should have taken just under an hour took almost two. i was exhausted and slept and kept resetting my alarm.
that's all i have for you right now...
Keep On Walking
here's something fun:
roses from my neighbor--
rose from klaas--
