kerstin i'm just going to write you here since it seems like the best way to contact you.
first, of all aesop rocks's now canceled show is REALLY getting me down. it was just too good to be true, now i am REALLY kicking myself for missing him in boston. i think the small venue days are over. he's playing this huge music fest here but tickets are like 150 dollars and there is just no way i can afford that, or really, want to see him in that huge place. i'm PISSED. i might just go and hang around (its an outdoor venue, so the sound comes through to the park)just UGH. i hate regrets. i want to cry.
also, DJ shadow and Cut Chemist are playing here in march. i imagine it will be one of those shows i will regret not going to but its fuck mad $$$$.i dont know. i dont even like cut chemist that much.
second, i dont know how to shave. HAHAHA. its rediculous, i'm twenty one and i have all these razor cuts on my legs. HELP.
i'm so frusterated right now, i know i have to just keep pushing, but i'm starting to feel self-concious, like what do i really have to offer people? the novelty of newness is gone, i need to have something to back it up.
my body is starting to feel different. probably cause all i eat is museli and soy milk, but its weird. i have a desire for something harder. i've become so accustommed to alcohol its like nothing at all. the girl here who was in boston last semester says she misses it. thats so bizzare to me, i never want to go back, except for like christmas. tonight i'm going to get some real sleep, i get so caught up in stuff i forget to take care of myself. my art history lecture is really amazing. its about theory rather than history and mixed pop-culture and music and current events all together. for class yesturday we watched this documentary on the dandy warhols and the brian jonestown massacre. its was actually pretty boring, but like, THAT is class. what are you doing for art? are you? i've done NOTHING yet. i dont know if massart will take me back. its starting to stress me out. maybe i'll email Irena for suggestions or something. although i dont really want to have any contact at all with massart. i hope things are going well for you. i want to know all the dirty details about your men. and your life in general. love xoxoxoxox p.coyote
was the documentary called DIG! because that's the one i wanted you to watch. how is your body feeling different? like, healthier?
okay shaving you have to use a lot of lather otherwise you're going to cut yourself. so use natural soap and rub it into a lather (that's what i do) or you can use shaving cream. or a combination. also if you let your legs soak, like, if you take a hot bath, it will be easier. and you go against the grain
how much $$$$ is that show?
who the hell would miss boston??? I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT MASSARTTT AHHHHHH :'(
i don't have any dirty details to tell you yet!!!! i sent you a postcard from amsterdam! i hope you get it soon!
Dig-yes. thanks for the shaving advice. mmm bath i think its like $60 or $80, i'm thinking no, because i dont really care about those bands, maybe i'll check out the venue and factor that in.
on my body: like i'm a different person, no connection, light and weak. although now that i've had a weekend of real food and sleeplessness i'm back to normal. really (see latest entry) i spent too much time curled up against beny. he danger of it becoming too comfortable and non-sexual. i'm starting to feel like I am the chaser, its more difficult than being the prey. i thought men had sex drives? like real unquenchable sex drives. wtf. alright i'm not REALLY complaining(i did find someone), more surprized, i always imagine that i would have to defend against advances, but instead i'm just fucking waiting for it, like another f*ing split legged american. whats the catch? am i making myself too easily availible? i though guys LIKED easygoingness and having the girl do some of the work making a move. bleh.
did you get my postcard yet? i want to see how long it takes.
yeah that's fucking expensive. you might get lucky though... how did the shaving experience go?
i felt like that in the beginning but i think i've been more depressed or something lately because i haven't felt full in a long time so i keep eating all this small shit. yeah steer away from the comfortable, you can have that when you come back and have time for it...unless you can handle multiple boyfriends, in which case i say GO smash yourself into more spooning sessions with him.
YEAHHHHHH.... i was under that impression as well. though i have NOT experienced a lack of that here. jesus. i don't know what it is. also, what happened to MY unquenchable sex drive? i haven't had a good self-petting session in over a week. it SUCKS. what happened to easy juicy orgasms? COME BACK TO ME DO YOU HEAR ME? COME BACKKK :'( okay. sorry. i can't say i'm experiencing the same thing you are, because i definitely feel like i've been defending. it's actually bizarre how much i'm defending. why does this not happen in the states? are we not going out or something?? maybe if you go to the public library you can defend yourself... i think they like easygoingness, i think they have an adjustment period to it and then they FUCKING fall in love with you i don't know about them liking the girl do the work, i've experienced mutual or them..so i can't comment on that. MORE UPDATESS must have more...
first, of all aesop rocks's now canceled show is REALLY getting me down. it was just too good to be true, now i am REALLY kicking myself for missing him in boston. i think the small venue days are over. he's playing this huge music fest here but tickets are like 150 dollars and there is just no way i can afford that, or really, want to see him in that huge place. i'm PISSED. i might just go and hang around (its an outdoor venue, so the sound comes through to the park)just UGH. i hate regrets. i want to cry.
also, DJ shadow and Cut Chemist are playing here in march. i imagine it will be one of those shows i will regret not going to but its fuck mad $$$$.i dont know. i dont even like cut chemist that much.
second, i dont know how to shave. HAHAHA. its rediculous, i'm twenty one and i have all these razor cuts on my legs. HELP.
i'm so frusterated right now, i know i have to just keep pushing, but i'm starting to feel self-concious, like what do i really have to offer people? the novelty of newness is gone, i need to have something to back it up.
my body is starting to feel different. probably cause all i eat is museli and soy milk, but its weird. i have a desire for something harder. i've become so accustommed to alcohol its like nothing at all.
the girl here who was in boston last semester says she misses it.
thats so bizzare to me, i never want to go back, except for like christmas.
tonight i'm going to get some real sleep, i get so caught up in stuff i forget to take care of myself.
my art history lecture is really amazing. its about theory rather than history and mixed pop-culture and music and current events all together. for class yesturday we watched this documentary on the dandy warhols and the brian jonestown massacre. its was actually pretty boring, but like, THAT is class.
what are you doing for art? are you? i've done NOTHING yet. i dont know if massart will take me back. its starting to stress me out. maybe i'll email Irena for suggestions or something. although i dont really want to have any contact at all with massart.
i hope things are going well for you. i want to know all the dirty details about your men. and your life in general.
love xoxoxoxox
p.coyote
Reply
how is your body feeling different? like, healthier?
okay shaving you have to use a lot of lather otherwise you're going to cut yourself. so use natural soap and rub it into a lather (that's what i do) or you can use shaving cream. or a combination. also if you let your legs soak, like, if you take a hot bath, it will be easier. and you go against the grain
how much $$$$ is that show?
who the hell would miss boston???
I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT MASSARTTT AHHHHHH :'(
i don't have any dirty details to tell you yet!!!!
i sent you a postcard from amsterdam! i hope you get it soon!
lots of love and xxxxs and oos
tuesday.
ha
Reply
thanks for the shaving advice. mmm bath
i think its like $60 or $80, i'm thinking no, because i dont really care about those bands, maybe i'll check out the venue and factor that in.
on my body: like i'm a different person, no connection, light and weak. although now that i've had a weekend of real food and sleeplessness i'm back to normal. really (see latest entry) i spent too much time curled up against beny. he danger of it becoming too comfortable and non-sexual. i'm starting to feel like I am the chaser, its more difficult than being the prey. i thought men had sex drives? like real unquenchable sex drives. wtf. alright i'm not REALLY complaining(i did find someone), more surprized, i always imagine that i would have to defend against advances, but instead i'm just fucking waiting for it, like another f*ing split legged american. whats the catch? am i making myself too easily availible? i though guys LIKED easygoingness and having the girl do some of the work making a move. bleh.
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yeah that's fucking expensive. you might get lucky though...
how did the shaving experience go?
i felt like that in the beginning but i think i've been more depressed or something lately because i haven't felt full in a long time so i keep eating all this small shit.
yeah steer away from the comfortable, you can have that when you come back and have time for it...unless you can handle multiple boyfriends, in which case i say GO smash yourself into more spooning sessions with him.
YEAHHHHHH.... i was under that impression as well. though i have NOT experienced a lack of that here. jesus. i don't know what it is.
also, what happened to MY unquenchable sex drive? i haven't had a good self-petting session in over a week. it SUCKS. what happened to easy juicy orgasms? COME BACK TO ME DO YOU HEAR ME? COME BACKKK :'(
okay. sorry.
i can't say i'm experiencing the same thing you are, because i definitely feel like i've been defending. it's actually bizarre how much i'm defending. why does this not happen in the states? are we not going out or something?? maybe if you go to the public library you can defend yourself...
i think they like easygoingness, i think they have an adjustment period to it and then they FUCKING fall in love with you i don't know about them liking the girl do the work, i've experienced mutual or them..so i can't comment on that.
MORE UPDATESS
must have more...
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