grate expectations

[nearmirage]

I have a terrible time turning my brain off. It never wants to stop. I think too much. My brain wants me to do things I don't want to do. My dreams are completely consumed with obsessions. I lucid dream obsessive compulsive behavior, I change my thought pattern to where it is okay to be that way and then my brain gets lost from reality. I repeat words,phrases,visions too much. I have to repeat tasks. I HAVE TO! I cant even begin to find words for what I see in my head. I cant even begin to explain how much my brain is dedicated to its thoughts. It is painful sometimes and scary more often.

I may have a dark sense of humor

I find it funny when adopted children play orphan

I may have a misswired brain

I literally see my orgasms, the path I walk, and my sick

I may be allergic to preservatives

I keep getting migraines weekly

I may have a severely obsessive brain

I cannot walk up stars without counting them, I lick my window every morning, I count my tofu squares for multiples of 3, I repeat what I say in the first 5 minutes of a conversation (only to certain people though) 3 times,I reread every email I send 3 times. I stack blocks of color in my brain before I can do anything related to fine motor skills (eating,typing,writing,sewing,drawing,braking on my bike). I count letters in words.I dont use hand driers in bathrooms. When I wash my hands I do it twice but not because I need to be germ free or am germ phobic because it feels like the right amount of times.

I may be broke

I may be nice

I may be funny

I may be a little tiny bit crazy

Im also in love. I love some people too much. Its a secret how much I love certain people. I cant get their energy to leave my brain.