(no subject)
i kissed you it was an accident i felt i had been holding in for so long. afterwards i couldn't read your face and i pressed my hands against your chest the way i used to do so that i could feel your heart of hearts and you could feel me in it. but this time i was pressing for weight, like i was trying to hold the lid of my coffin shut. like maybe if i just sat really still that way, it would hold us in place and we wouldn't have to move or talk or acknowledge anything at all and i wouldn't have to tell you that i've been been in love with you this whole fucking time, it just didn't go away. this way we would keep forever because we would just be stuck not moving or doing anything about it. so we'd just stay, because there just wasn't another option. that's how i've felt this whole time anyway. and then i woke up.