Who Are You?, calikocat, pg
Title: Who Are You?
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor, romance, one-shot, established relationship
Word Count: 936
Summary: McGee answers the phone and has an interesting conversation with a drunk lady. Set anywhere in season 6.
Warning(s): none
Spoiler(s): none
Disclaimer: These characters belong to DPB, CBS, Paramount, et al. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author’s Notes: Remember way back in season one, episode two when Tony asked Ducky why Gibbs would rip his hard line out (phone) and dunk his cell phone in a jar of paint thinner. So I thought…what if ex-wife number three still calls him on their anniversary, what would actually make her stop? Another wife? Or someone else? Set in season six. Also, I hope I did okay portraying a drunk ex-wife.
XXX
The phone was ringing, Jethro was barking, the porch light was shot, and Tim’s arms were full of groceries. There was no Gibbs open the door for him. His aforementioned lover was working late and had absolutely forbid him from staying at the office through the night. After all, Jethro got lonely.
Finally McGee won the battle with the door and managed to slip inside to put the groceries on the couch while he grabbed the cordless off the end table. Jethro bounded to him and he absently pet his head with a warning to stay out of the food before he hit the talk button on the handheld.
“Hello, GibbsMcGee residence.” There was a moment of silence. “Hello?”
“You-you’re not Jethro-o.” A slurred voice, definitely drunk and definitely female finally answered.
“No I’m not.”
“Who’re you, and why are you in Gibbs’ hou-ouse?” The question was cut up by a hiccup.
“Ma’am, are you all right?”
“Fine, fine. Answer the question.”
“I’m McGee.”
The next silence was almost thoughtful. “GibbsMcGee residence? You live there with Jethro?”
“Yes…who is this?”
“I’m his wife.”
“He’s not-“.
“Ex, I’m his ex-wife…one of them.” She giggled.
“Okay…listen. He’s not here right now-do you want to leave--?”
“Already left, years ago.” Another giggle.
“I meant do you want to leave a message?”
“Nah. I don’t think so…probably not.” Another giggle. “If I did I won’t remember it in the morning.”
“So why are you calling?”
“Anniversary. Always call. He doesn’t ever answer.” There was another pause. “Heeeey…your not a woman.”
Tim could feel his cheeks warm. “No, I’m not.”
Another pause. “That’s okay…bet you have red hair.” A snort. “He likes red hair, yesh he does.” There was a crash in the background. “Stupid chair.”
Tim turned redder, and nudged Jethro away from the package of ground beef he’d been eyeing. “No, I don’t.”
Another long pause. “You’re not a-not a woman…an you don’t have red ha-hair…The hell you doing with Gibbs?” The last was said in complete confusion and more than a little surprise.
“I love him.”
“Sure, sure; s’how it starts. Ya love him, he loves you. He worksh a lot, and ya never ever see him…it…it gets lonely. Bet he’s workin’ now. If he was home he wouldn’t have answered tha phone.” She sniffled.
“We work together. He told me to go home and get some rest.” Tim nearly whispered.
Jethro chose that moment to give a little bark.
“What wass that?”
“Our dog.”
“He must really be serious-ss ‘bout you. He never wanted pets around before…reminded him too much of his little girl. She loved dogs ya know.”
“I know.”
“Who are you again?”
Tim smiled this time. “McGee, Tim McGee.”
“Well Misster McGee, you take good care of Jethro-o.” She giggled again. “Tell him I said happy annivershary. And tell him…tell him I said goodbye.” She sniffled again and the phone clicked. Tim shut off the handheld and leaned against the wall, Jethro tilted his head in keen observation.
“Well…that was different.” He smiled. “Come on Jeth; let’s put the food away so I can fix our dinner. You feel like watching animal cops tonight.” Jethro gave a bark and wagged his tail.
It didn’t take long to put away the groceries and slap together a couple of turkey sandwiches, which they ate in the kitchen, Jethro’s had a side of kibble. Afterwards they settled down to watch Animal Cops and Tim, exhausted by the last case and the odd conversation with Gibbs’ ex fell asleep…Jethro never noticed, his complete attention on the television. He didn’t even budge when Gibbs walked in the front door.
“What kind of attack dog are you?” Gibbs murmured, Jethro gave him a look and then ignored him again and went back to watching his show. Gibbs smiled and shook his head before settling down beside Tim on the couch.
Tim’s eyes opened briefly. “Hey.”
“Hey yourself, shouldn’t you be in bed? I thought I told you to get some rest.”
“I’m resting.” Tim smiled and snuggled into his side.
Gibbs chuckled. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”
Tim opened his eyes again. “Your ex-wife called…guess you turned your cell off.” Gibbs stiffened beside him and his eyes started to harden, to grow colder. “She was drunk…and we talked a bit. She wanted to wish you a happy anniversary…and she said goodbye.”
Gibbs gave him a confused look. “What do you mean goodbye?”
Tim yawned, shrugged and stood up. “I don’t think she’ll be calling anymore.” He held his hand out and helped Gibbs to his feet.
“And why is that?”
“I think you threw her off, changing your ways the way you did.”
More confusion. “I didn’t change anything.”
Tim gave him a tired, if cheeky grin. “Yes you have. For one, I’m not a woman. Two, I’m not a red head.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Why is that?”
“Maybe I’m tired of women…tired of redheads. It never ends well.” He frowned and Tim pulled him closer, sliding his arms around him.
“I’m glad.” He kissed him, a bare brushing of lips. “Change is a good thing Jethro. Now let’s get to bed.”
Gibbs shook his head and smiled as he allowed Tim to lead him away to the bedroom.
XXX
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor, romance, one-shot, established relationship
Word Count: 936
Summary: McGee answers the phone and has an interesting conversation with a drunk lady. Set anywhere in season 6.
Warning(s): none
Spoiler(s): none
Disclaimer: These characters belong to DPB, CBS, Paramount, et al. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author’s Notes: Remember way back in season one, episode two when Tony asked Ducky why Gibbs would rip his hard line out (phone) and dunk his cell phone in a jar of paint thinner. So I thought…what if ex-wife number three still calls him on their anniversary, what would actually make her stop? Another wife? Or someone else? Set in season six. Also, I hope I did okay portraying a drunk ex-wife.
XXX
The phone was ringing, Jethro was barking, the porch light was shot, and Tim’s arms were full of groceries. There was no Gibbs open the door for him. His aforementioned lover was working late and had absolutely forbid him from staying at the office through the night. After all, Jethro got lonely.
Finally McGee won the battle with the door and managed to slip inside to put the groceries on the couch while he grabbed the cordless off the end table. Jethro bounded to him and he absently pet his head with a warning to stay out of the food before he hit the talk button on the handheld.
“Hello, GibbsMcGee residence.” There was a moment of silence. “Hello?”
“You-you’re not Jethro-o.” A slurred voice, definitely drunk and definitely female finally answered.
“No I’m not.”
“Who’re you, and why are you in Gibbs’ hou-ouse?” The question was cut up by a hiccup.
“Ma’am, are you all right?”
“Fine, fine. Answer the question.”
“I’m McGee.”
The next silence was almost thoughtful. “GibbsMcGee residence? You live there with Jethro?”
“Yes…who is this?”
“I’m his wife.”
“He’s not-“.
“Ex, I’m his ex-wife…one of them.” She giggled.
“Okay…listen. He’s not here right now-do you want to leave--?”
“Already left, years ago.” Another giggle.
“I meant do you want to leave a message?”
“Nah. I don’t think so…probably not.” Another giggle. “If I did I won’t remember it in the morning.”
“So why are you calling?”
“Anniversary. Always call. He doesn’t ever answer.” There was another pause. “Heeeey…your not a woman.”
Tim could feel his cheeks warm. “No, I’m not.”
Another pause. “That’s okay…bet you have red hair.” A snort. “He likes red hair, yesh he does.” There was a crash in the background. “Stupid chair.”
Tim turned redder, and nudged Jethro away from the package of ground beef he’d been eyeing. “No, I don’t.”
Another long pause. “You’re not a-not a woman…an you don’t have red ha-hair…The hell you doing with Gibbs?” The last was said in complete confusion and more than a little surprise.
“I love him.”
“Sure, sure; s’how it starts. Ya love him, he loves you. He worksh a lot, and ya never ever see him…it…it gets lonely. Bet he’s workin’ now. If he was home he wouldn’t have answered tha phone.” She sniffled.
“We work together. He told me to go home and get some rest.” Tim nearly whispered.
Jethro chose that moment to give a little bark.
“What wass that?”
“Our dog.”
“He must really be serious-ss ‘bout you. He never wanted pets around before…reminded him too much of his little girl. She loved dogs ya know.”
“I know.”
“Who are you again?”
Tim smiled this time. “McGee, Tim McGee.”
“Well Misster McGee, you take good care of Jethro-o.” She giggled again. “Tell him I said happy annivershary. And tell him…tell him I said goodbye.” She sniffled again and the phone clicked. Tim shut off the handheld and leaned against the wall, Jethro tilted his head in keen observation.
“Well…that was different.” He smiled. “Come on Jeth; let’s put the food away so I can fix our dinner. You feel like watching animal cops tonight.” Jethro gave a bark and wagged his tail.
It didn’t take long to put away the groceries and slap together a couple of turkey sandwiches, which they ate in the kitchen, Jethro’s had a side of kibble. Afterwards they settled down to watch Animal Cops and Tim, exhausted by the last case and the odd conversation with Gibbs’ ex fell asleep…Jethro never noticed, his complete attention on the television. He didn’t even budge when Gibbs walked in the front door.
“What kind of attack dog are you?” Gibbs murmured, Jethro gave him a look and then ignored him again and went back to watching his show. Gibbs smiled and shook his head before settling down beside Tim on the couch.
Tim’s eyes opened briefly. “Hey.”
“Hey yourself, shouldn’t you be in bed? I thought I told you to get some rest.”
“I’m resting.” Tim smiled and snuggled into his side.
Gibbs chuckled. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”
Tim opened his eyes again. “Your ex-wife called…guess you turned your cell off.” Gibbs stiffened beside him and his eyes started to harden, to grow colder. “She was drunk…and we talked a bit. She wanted to wish you a happy anniversary…and she said goodbye.”
Gibbs gave him a confused look. “What do you mean goodbye?”
Tim yawned, shrugged and stood up. “I don’t think she’ll be calling anymore.” He held his hand out and helped Gibbs to his feet.
“And why is that?”
“I think you threw her off, changing your ways the way you did.”
More confusion. “I didn’t change anything.”
Tim gave him a tired, if cheeky grin. “Yes you have. For one, I’m not a woman. Two, I’m not a red head.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Why is that?”
“Maybe I’m tired of women…tired of redheads. It never ends well.” He frowned and Tim pulled him closer, sliding his arms around him.
“I’m glad.” He kissed him, a bare brushing of lips. “Change is a good thing Jethro. Now let’s get to bed.”
Gibbs shook his head and smiled as he allowed Tim to lead him away to the bedroom.
XXX