Day two...
So today is Day number 2 with this whole not talking to Adam thing... its hard... but not near as hard as I thought it would be. It makes it so much easier that he hasn't caled or texted or anything, its dissapointing but def makes this whole things a lot easier to deal with.
I've come to the conclusion that he might just be a pathological liar... I hate to say that but DAMN! So many things he's said, he's contradicted himself on. "I NEED to be alone right now"... right.... he just didnt have the balls to say "oh well you were just someone to pass the few weeks I had to kill between my girlfriends". I'm in my angry stage right now if cant tell. The first stage is being upset and sad, the second is definately my angry stage then comes the moving on part so I'm glad I'm on my way already. Daniel asked me out yesterday... and it got me to thinking. Maybe with Adam this last time around, I confused my "love" for him with the convienece of how easy it is to be with someone you've known rather than start a brand new relationship. Maybe I only wanted it to work so I could move, or maybe I just used him as a bumper to gaurd off the feelings from Johnny and his new baby on the way. The fact that I dont know if I really did love him scares the hell out of me. What if I'm never able to decide what real love is anymore? I was also thinking that in a way, I'm kind of glad Adam broke things off, maybe secretly I wanted him too because I was having more sad days then happy days. I wasnt able to eat, sleep, concetrate or anything like that because I was always so scared of him. I'm kind of kicking myself in the ass right now for forgiving and pretending that I forgot all those horrible things he said to me a few months ago. Yes I had feelings for him and yes I really wanted things to work out. But I've kind of come to the conclusion that with Adam I think I would be just "settling" for the first person who I've allowed myself to be with seriously since Johnny. Adam and I are way to different to be together. UH! Things have changed so much in the past week its unreal!!!
But on a better note!! Im going to be getting a third interview with the VP of Harbor Management for the leasing position!! I'm so excited!! The district manager I interviewew with today is really excited about me and loves my personality! So keep your fingers crossed for me!! When one door closes another one opens... Adam broke my heart but Daniel asked me out and I got a shot at a job I would love... hmmm go figure!! Now if Adam will continue to NOT contact me then I'll be on my way to having the life I had a month ago... not perfect... but damn near it!!! :)