If you could soldier on, headstrong into the storm. I’ll be here waiting on the other side

[nbetweedreams]

So much has happened since the last time I was on here. For the most part right now I'd like to talk about the search I have been involved in lately for the missing Machesney Park woman. She went missing about 2 weeks ago on Oct 22, 2012. It was a Monday. I haven't stopped thinking about her since Oct 23rd when they reported it for the first time on Rockford Scanner. My heart sank. The first search was Friday that week, but I couldn't make it. They did a river search where they found her car on Saturday, but they didn't find anything. Sunday my friend Carolyn and I went to the quarry off of Swanson to help with the search, but nothing turned up except some weird looking dirt... which was nothing. Monday my sister and I went searching again, but when we got to the park the man told us we weren't searching, just handing out flyers. The end of the day the day before I remember them saying something about searching Atwood park, so we decided to drive out there and search, and we ended up finding the search group. At this point it had been a week since she was reported missing. They knew where the car was found, purse and phone, and they found the wallet on South Alpine. What wasn't told to the news even to this date, is that the phone had been pinged in Wisconsin and then back in Rockford the same day, and that night or next morning it was found.My cousin told me that via facebook. That part doesn't make much sense to me. On Wednesday, a week and a half in, we also found out that one of the searchers found 2 credit cards near the residence in the drainage ditch. Things are popping up everywhere. I don't understand the investigation much, but I am focused on the search. People keep saying it was the husband, but I am not convinced. I don't have any clues one way or the other though. My cousin Elexes is Miraynda's roommate down at NIU. Miraynda is Katrina's (the missing woman) sister. They are 8 years apart. I guess the story kills my heart because Elisha is 9 years older than my sister and I. I can't imagine losing her. I just want to bring closure to the family. Until I can, I'll just keep searching.
I  guess I don't know what else to say. My thoughts were deeper earlier, but I didn't have a computer. Or maybe my thoughts aren't as deep as I think they are. I don't really have anyone to talk to but Sean and he isn't home this weekend, and sometimes I feel like I repeat myself with him. I'm going to try to post on here more so I feel like I have let my thoughts be heard. Maybe it will help with my relationships, too.
Love Always and Forever,
Shannah Banannah