TDC: Final Fantasy VII Remake (4/?)
Part 4: Characters They Forgot
Everyone is working together to move the sofas in preparation for the next discussion. Johnny slams the door open.
Johnny:
Everyone stares at him.
Cloud: Is that Phoenix Wright?
Tifa: No, it’s Johnny.
Cloud: Who?
Johnny: So you forgot about me too? We were in SOLDIER together, and we were childhood friends before that!
Sephiroth: You were in SOLDIER? I highly doubt it.
Aerith: Oh wait, I remember you. The Final Fantasy wiki says that your lines are mistranslated.
http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Johnny_(Final_Fantasy_VII)
Johnny: At least someone remembers-wait, mistranslated? What am I supposed to be, then?
Aerith: You weren’t in SOLDIER, but you, Cloud, and Tifa are childhood friends.
Cloud: I’m telling you: I don’t know this guy.
Johnny: There were a lot of characters you forgot to talk about in the last discussion, including me!
Tifa: Wait, how were you able to follow our discussions?
Johnny: Internet.
Vincent: But we’ve never posted them online.
Cid: I smell a rat.
Everyone looks at Cait Sith and Reeve.
Cait Sith: Oh, I get it. Just because I was a mole in the game, you think I secretly recorded our discussions, transcribed them onto the computer, and posted it online. I thought I had finally earned your trust!
Red XIII: That was very specific.
Reeve sighs.
Reeve: It’s true. I thought that these discussions would help encourage readers to talk about the remake and its possibilities.
Reno: And is it working?
Reeve: So far, no.
Johnny: Hello? Remember me?
Barret: Why are you here, anyways?
Johnny: I’m actually following your discussions, and as I’ve said, I couldn’t help but notice that there were characters you forgot to talk about.
Barret: The game has a huge cast; we can’t remember everyone.
Johnny: Oh, so you forgot about Marlene?
Barret gapes.
Reno: Wow.
Elena: She was four at the time and didn’t play that big of a role in the game.
Barret: (furious) She’s family to me! I may not always be there for her, but I’m doing all this to make this world a place worth livin’ in! Don’t matter if she plays a big role or not! As long as she’s safe and happy, that’s good enough for me!
Barret rubs at his eyes.
Reno: You crying, big guy?
Rude: (warningly) Reno.
Johnny: (sniffs) Don’t make me cry, too.
Vincent: Who else did we forget?
Johnny pulls out a list and reads from it.
Johnny: Well, there’s Elmyra.
Aerith: She’s the same as Marlene: no changes, and no playing a larger role.
Johnny: (reads from the list) You guys are idiots for forgetting this one: Elena.
Elena: (eyes widening) Oh yeah! (knocks Reno and Rude across their heads) Why didn’t you guys say anything?!
Reno: Ow! Sorry, sorry! We forgot, alright?!
Elena: But we’re teammates!
Rude: …Sorry.
Cloud: She acts a lot like Yuffie when she’s angry.
Yuffie and Elena: Hey!
Vincent: You needed to be more professional.
Elena: I was new to the Turks at the time!
Sephiroth: Reminds me of a certain someone from SOLDIER. Remember, Cloud?
Cloud: (groaning) Shut up.
Tifa: Okay, who else?
Johnny: Priscilla.
Aerith: Oh, the little girl from Junon. You rode on her dolphin, Cloud.
Cloud: I remember.
Sephiroth: Cloud? Riding a dolphin? (laughs)
Reno: (laughing) Wish you guys took a picture of that.
Red XIII: I’ve always found it unsettling that she wanted to marry you, Cloud.
Yuffie: …That’s not right.
Cloud: (shaking his head) The very idea doesn’t need to be in the remake.
Aerith: I thought it was cute.
Tifa: Cute?
Aerith: Come on, Tifa, wasn’t there ever a handsome man you wanted to marry when you were a kid?
Tifa: (blushing) Not a man, no…
Aerith: Oh, I get it.
She looks at Cloud, who turns his head away.
Cid: So you were into women?
Tifa punches his jaw.
Tifa: Idiot! You’re totally misreading the whole thing!
Cid: (rubbing his jaw) You hit hard…son of a-.
Johnny: Moving away from that, there’s also Zangan.
Tifa: Oh! My old master! He didn’t get enough time in the game.
Cloud: Do you even know what happened to him?
Tifa: No, but I’m sure he’s still alive, unless…
She looks at Aerith.
Aerith: He’s not in the Lifestream.
Tifa: (relieved) That’s good to hear. We need to all meet him in the remake.
Barret: Yeah, I wanna meet the one who taught you to fight like that.
Johnny: (reading from the list) Oh, you also forgot about Palmer.
Cloud: The Shinra executive that was run over by that truck?
Yuffie: That scene was unexpected, but totally hilarious.
Elena: Who was driving that truck, anyways?
Cid: I don’t know, but I wish it was me. Hey, maybe it can be me in the remake!
Barret: We all wish it was us driving that truck. Hey, this gives me an idea.
Reno: Yeah?
Barret: When we get that buggy, we can run over monsters with it!
Tifa: (pulling out her notepad) I’ll add ‘vehicles’ to the list.
Johnny: This is just my opinion, but even though they were only featured in video logs, I still want to talk about Gast and Ifalna.
Sephiroth: Professor Gast?
Aerith: Mom?
Sephiroth and Aerith stare at each other.
Reno: I think things just got awkward.
Sephiroth: What do those two have to do with each other?
Cait Sith: Nobody say anything! Ixnay on the ecretssay!
Sephiroth: More secrets? What are you all hiding?
Cloud: Sephiroth, the last time you found out about a secret, you went insane. Can’t you leave the other secrets alone?
Sephiroth: No, I must find out.
Sephiroth goes to the computer and tries to turn it on, but it doesn’t. He still doesn’t realized that it’s been unplugged. He sighs.
Sephiroth: Anyone know how to fix this?
Everyone quickly shakes their heads.
Vincent: We only know a little about…those two through those video logs, but it might be best if it stays that way.
Aerith: Can’t I at least have a flashback with mom telling me how to use the White Materia?
Cloud: Maybe.
Johnny: Well, the last person on my list is…Jenova.
Sephiroth: (alert) What about Mother?
Barret: That headless thing’s not even a character! What’s there to talk about?!
Sephiroth draws his sword and points it at Barret.
Sephiroth: There are many things that can be said about Mother, but go ahead, tell me what you think. It’s not like I’ll cut your head off if you say anything else.
Barret shakes his head and backs away. Sephiroth puts away his sword.
Johnny: Actually, Jenova has one line of dialogue in the game, so she does count as a character, plus she’s a major part of the plot.
Sephiroth: Ah yes, that one line. Do you remember it, Cloud?
Cloud glares, but says nothing.
Sephiroth: Other than that line, she didn’t talk much.
Cait Sith: How can it even talk without a head?
Sephiroth: Ignorant fool, she doesn’t need a head to talk. Her very cells speak to me, and to all my puppets.
Cloud suddenly runs out of the lounge.
Tifa: Cloud!
She runs after him.
Aerith: If you’re going to keep tormenting Cloud, then you shouldn’t be here.
Sephiroth: But tormenting him is so much fun. Besides, it’s not like you can force me out of the room.
Everyone grumbles.
Johnny: Well, that’s it for my list. I’ll be following you guys, and if you miss anything else, I’ll be back.
He waves goodbye and leaves the lounge.
Elena: He didn’t even realize that we never talked about him.
Reno: (shrugs) Maybe next time.
Reeve: I guess we can call this a break until Cloud and Tifa return.
Yuffie: Is he even going to come back?
Vincent: He will. We’re talking about the remake and nothing, not even Sephiroth, is going to stop him from being a part of it. Can’t say the same thing for the movie, though…
Sephiroth: That gives me an idea.
Red XIII: Does it involve the movie?
Sephiroth:
Barret: Ain’t no way we’re going to let that happen.
Sephiroth: Not now, but someday. (chuckles darkly) Someday…
So, animated gifs don't work for me for some reason. Beh.
Everyone is working together to move the sofas in preparation for the next discussion. Johnny slams the door open.
Johnny:
Everyone stares at him.
Cloud: Is that Phoenix Wright?
Tifa: No, it’s Johnny.
Cloud: Who?
Johnny: So you forgot about me too? We were in SOLDIER together, and we were childhood friends before that!
Sephiroth: You were in SOLDIER? I highly doubt it.
Aerith: Oh wait, I remember you. The Final Fantasy wiki says that your lines are mistranslated.
http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Johnny_(Final_Fantasy_VII)
Johnny: At least someone remembers-wait, mistranslated? What am I supposed to be, then?
Aerith: You weren’t in SOLDIER, but you, Cloud, and Tifa are childhood friends.
Cloud: I’m telling you: I don’t know this guy.
Johnny: There were a lot of characters you forgot to talk about in the last discussion, including me!
Tifa: Wait, how were you able to follow our discussions?
Johnny: Internet.
Vincent: But we’ve never posted them online.
Cid: I smell a rat.
Everyone looks at Cait Sith and Reeve.
Cait Sith: Oh, I get it. Just because I was a mole in the game, you think I secretly recorded our discussions, transcribed them onto the computer, and posted it online. I thought I had finally earned your trust!
Red XIII: That was very specific.
Reeve sighs.
Reeve: It’s true. I thought that these discussions would help encourage readers to talk about the remake and its possibilities.
Reno: And is it working?
Reeve: So far, no.
Johnny: Hello? Remember me?
Barret: Why are you here, anyways?
Johnny: I’m actually following your discussions, and as I’ve said, I couldn’t help but notice that there were characters you forgot to talk about.
Barret: The game has a huge cast; we can’t remember everyone.
Johnny: Oh, so you forgot about Marlene?
Barret gapes.
Reno: Wow.
Elena: She was four at the time and didn’t play that big of a role in the game.
Barret: (furious) She’s family to me! I may not always be there for her, but I’m doing all this to make this world a place worth livin’ in! Don’t matter if she plays a big role or not! As long as she’s safe and happy, that’s good enough for me!
Barret rubs at his eyes.
Reno: You crying, big guy?
Rude: (warningly) Reno.
Johnny: (sniffs) Don’t make me cry, too.
Vincent: Who else did we forget?
Johnny pulls out a list and reads from it.
Johnny: Well, there’s Elmyra.
Aerith: She’s the same as Marlene: no changes, and no playing a larger role.
Johnny: (reads from the list) You guys are idiots for forgetting this one: Elena.
Elena: (eyes widening) Oh yeah! (knocks Reno and Rude across their heads) Why didn’t you guys say anything?!
Reno: Ow! Sorry, sorry! We forgot, alright?!
Elena: But we’re teammates!
Rude: …Sorry.
Cloud: She acts a lot like Yuffie when she’s angry.
Yuffie and Elena: Hey!
Vincent: You needed to be more professional.
Elena: I was new to the Turks at the time!
Sephiroth: Reminds me of a certain someone from SOLDIER. Remember, Cloud?
Cloud: (groaning) Shut up.
Tifa: Okay, who else?
Johnny: Priscilla.
Aerith: Oh, the little girl from Junon. You rode on her dolphin, Cloud.
Cloud: I remember.
Sephiroth: Cloud? Riding a dolphin? (laughs)
Reno: (laughing) Wish you guys took a picture of that.
Red XIII: I’ve always found it unsettling that she wanted to marry you, Cloud.
Yuffie: …That’s not right.
Cloud: (shaking his head) The very idea doesn’t need to be in the remake.
Aerith: I thought it was cute.
Tifa: Cute?
Aerith: Come on, Tifa, wasn’t there ever a handsome man you wanted to marry when you were a kid?
Tifa: (blushing) Not a man, no…
Aerith: Oh, I get it.
She looks at Cloud, who turns his head away.
Cid: So you were into women?
Tifa punches his jaw.
Tifa: Idiot! You’re totally misreading the whole thing!
Cid: (rubbing his jaw) You hit hard…son of a-.
Johnny: Moving away from that, there’s also Zangan.
Tifa: Oh! My old master! He didn’t get enough time in the game.
Cloud: Do you even know what happened to him?
Tifa: No, but I’m sure he’s still alive, unless…
She looks at Aerith.
Aerith: He’s not in the Lifestream.
Tifa: (relieved) That’s good to hear. We need to all meet him in the remake.
Barret: Yeah, I wanna meet the one who taught you to fight like that.
Johnny: (reading from the list) Oh, you also forgot about Palmer.
Cloud: The Shinra executive that was run over by that truck?
Yuffie: That scene was unexpected, but totally hilarious.
Elena: Who was driving that truck, anyways?
Cid: I don’t know, but I wish it was me. Hey, maybe it can be me in the remake!
Barret: We all wish it was us driving that truck. Hey, this gives me an idea.
Reno: Yeah?
Barret: When we get that buggy, we can run over monsters with it!
Tifa: (pulling out her notepad) I’ll add ‘vehicles’ to the list.
Johnny: This is just my opinion, but even though they were only featured in video logs, I still want to talk about Gast and Ifalna.
Sephiroth: Professor Gast?
Aerith: Mom?
Sephiroth and Aerith stare at each other.
Reno: I think things just got awkward.
Sephiroth: What do those two have to do with each other?
Cait Sith: Nobody say anything! Ixnay on the ecretssay!
Sephiroth: More secrets? What are you all hiding?
Cloud: Sephiroth, the last time you found out about a secret, you went insane. Can’t you leave the other secrets alone?
Sephiroth: No, I must find out.
Sephiroth goes to the computer and tries to turn it on, but it doesn’t. He still doesn’t realized that it’s been unplugged. He sighs.
Sephiroth: Anyone know how to fix this?
Everyone quickly shakes their heads.
Vincent: We only know a little about…those two through those video logs, but it might be best if it stays that way.
Aerith: Can’t I at least have a flashback with mom telling me how to use the White Materia?
Cloud: Maybe.
Johnny: Well, the last person on my list is…Jenova.
Sephiroth: (alert) What about Mother?
Barret: That headless thing’s not even a character! What’s there to talk about?!
Sephiroth draws his sword and points it at Barret.
Sephiroth: There are many things that can be said about Mother, but go ahead, tell me what you think. It’s not like I’ll cut your head off if you say anything else.
Barret shakes his head and backs away. Sephiroth puts away his sword.
Johnny: Actually, Jenova has one line of dialogue in the game, so she does count as a character, plus she’s a major part of the plot.
Sephiroth: Ah yes, that one line. Do you remember it, Cloud?
Cloud glares, but says nothing.
Sephiroth: Other than that line, she didn’t talk much.
Cait Sith: How can it even talk without a head?
Sephiroth: Ignorant fool, she doesn’t need a head to talk. Her very cells speak to me, and to all my puppets.
Cloud suddenly runs out of the lounge.
Tifa: Cloud!
She runs after him.
Aerith: If you’re going to keep tormenting Cloud, then you shouldn’t be here.
Sephiroth: But tormenting him is so much fun. Besides, it’s not like you can force me out of the room.
Everyone grumbles.
Johnny: Well, that’s it for my list. I’ll be following you guys, and if you miss anything else, I’ll be back.
He waves goodbye and leaves the lounge.
Elena: He didn’t even realize that we never talked about him.
Reno: (shrugs) Maybe next time.
Reeve: I guess we can call this a break until Cloud and Tifa return.
Yuffie: Is he even going to come back?
Vincent: He will. We’re talking about the remake and nothing, not even Sephiroth, is going to stop him from being a part of it. Can’t say the same thing for the movie, though…
Sephiroth: That gives me an idea.
Red XIII: Does it involve the movie?
Sephiroth:
Barret: Ain’t no way we’re going to let that happen.
Sephiroth: Not now, but someday. (chuckles darkly) Someday…
So, animated gifs don't work for me for some reason. Beh.