(no subject)
To add to my previous post about observations, I note that I should not be voided from possible critique.
I have come to the realisation that I have stopped. I have no drive.
Instead of getting out and finding a new job I'm still in the one that I hate.
Instead of finding the motivation to drop the kilos I find excuses to come home instead of going to the gym.
Instead of telling the guy I still like that I still like him, I just don't mention it to anyone and I try not to dwell on it.
Instead of finding things and doing things that make me happy I find excuses to come home and hide.
I spend far to much time waiting for things to happen.
I spend far to much time worrying about why people suddenly stopped talking to me.
I spend far to much time making these people a priority when I am simply an after thought, or a next best option.
I spend far to much time with my negative self and not enough with my positive self.
I over analyse everything.
I frequently wonder why I'm not dead and while no one on earth still can convince me that there's a point to me being here, I've not been called anywhere else yet.
I don't expect that there will be anyone to read this, nor anyone who will care. But that's okay.
I've come to realise that lj, to a degree was feeding my paranoia. No one though is to take that as an insult to them. I simply mean that lj was a crutch and I can't use it for that anymore.
So. From time to time, I will still post on here. Random shit like this most likely. I'll still read everyone's journals and comment, I just don't know if I can be as attached to the net as I have been.
Let me finish by saying one thing to that one person who I loved like a sister who hasn't contacted me for months.
I've sent you a Christmas card as a way of opening communication again, and still nothing. No reply to the card. No response to texts. Are you even still alive? I know that answer is yes, but I miss you.
And as for the person I mentioned earlier. I miss him to.
Pathetic nawlie
I have come to the realisation that I have stopped. I have no drive.
Instead of getting out and finding a new job I'm still in the one that I hate.
Instead of finding the motivation to drop the kilos I find excuses to come home instead of going to the gym.
Instead of telling the guy I still like that I still like him, I just don't mention it to anyone and I try not to dwell on it.
Instead of finding things and doing things that make me happy I find excuses to come home and hide.
I spend far to much time waiting for things to happen.
I spend far to much time worrying about why people suddenly stopped talking to me.
I spend far to much time making these people a priority when I am simply an after thought, or a next best option.
I spend far to much time with my negative self and not enough with my positive self.
I over analyse everything.
I frequently wonder why I'm not dead and while no one on earth still can convince me that there's a point to me being here, I've not been called anywhere else yet.
I don't expect that there will be anyone to read this, nor anyone who will care. But that's okay.
I've come to realise that lj, to a degree was feeding my paranoia. No one though is to take that as an insult to them. I simply mean that lj was a crutch and I can't use it for that anymore.
So. From time to time, I will still post on here. Random shit like this most likely. I'll still read everyone's journals and comment, I just don't know if I can be as attached to the net as I have been.
Let me finish by saying one thing to that one person who I loved like a sister who hasn't contacted me for months.
I've sent you a Christmas card as a way of opening communication again, and still nothing. No reply to the card. No response to texts. Are you even still alive? I know that answer is yes, but I miss you.
And as for the person I mentioned earlier. I miss him to.
Pathetic nawlie