(no subject)
Sarabeth and I are officially broke up. My heart is severely aching and there is nothing that can be done. She keeps reminding me of this - I think more for her benefit than for mine. I know she misses it when I am not in the same room with her... regardless of what I am doing. I am sleeping in the office bedroom tonight... and probably the remainder of out time in this house. I am sure the pain I feel for her will subside eventually... its just excrutiating right now. I went out dancing last night... and it felt pretty good. Not out looking to hook up - the last thing I need is to meet some dramatized lesbian that is out to steal my individuality and compromise my existence ... I just needed to dance off some of my aggression. I came home drunk... an accomplishment in itself and proceeded to make an utter ass of myself. My emotions at present are a spectrum of emotions... I just take out one for the moment I am in. Cynical, frustrated, aggitated - and I don't care. Last night... I did control myself from virtually mocking 2 young FSU music students that were in "love" - my brain was screaming - when y'all break up... you are gonna be stuck looking at each other everyday! But instead I was nice... Some gay guy tried to toss me on this lesbian - she was cute - but I was not totally not interested in her or her friend. Anyways... time for night night.