You Can't Change Others, Only Circumstances.
I have come to understand that concepts like "fairness" and "right from wrong" are somewhat irrelevant in a relationship. People do what they do with little regard to any actual internal rulebook; they either function and relate to you in a way that employs empathy, concern and self-awareness or they don't. Even if they are careless or make a mistake, if those things are intact, they will be self-compelled to take accountability, resolve the issue and avoid repeating the mistake. All simply because they care for you, not because it's a "rule."
I remember I used to be so hung up on righteousnes in my last marriage. I wanted to hash things out over and over until I'd adequately demonstrated how wrong he was to do the things he did to me; how illegal and incorrect. In my folly, I fell into the trap of thinking that if I could just find the right combination of words to construct a logical "gotcha," he would have no choice but to concede, relent, repair the damage and do right by me.
I should have done what I'm doing now, which is to say that I've finally learned to judge the situation based solely on how the person is naturally inclined to respond to my needs and feelings as soon as they are known or made known. I don't and should not need to shout, argue or plead a case, detailing violations and my outrage at such. I should need only to make it known that I feel hurt or uncomfortable and let them decide whether or not it's logical and appropriate for me to feel those things. If they conclude it is not logical or appropriate, they are concluding that my feelings are irrelevant to their position on the matter and we can end the discussion with the understanding that they will repeat the behavior at their own whim.
Shame and guilt should not ever be the primary motivator in any relationship. Mutual respect and empathy on their own merit should.