New Years...
Had to call into work today because I am sick with stomach flu. Awful!
It is coming to my attention more and more that there are no a particularly large amount of strong, independent, smart women hanging around the Whitehaus. I think there is a reason for that -- the reason being, they aren't exactly welcome. And I don't mean to sound conceited, but I consider myself a part of that group now, and I really just don't think I can participate in the same, stagnant world anymore. I want better friends -- ones I can be open with, communicate with, be honest with, without feeling so much pressure to constantly impress.
Honestly, most times over there I feel like it's a contest of who's the coolest, who's making the most interesting "art", who did the most outrageous thing. And I admit fully to being a somewhat sheltered girl from the "country" -- but I really believe in roots, in family, in love, in openness and down-to-earth-ness. And I just feel out of place here. I don't feel resentful or angry so much, just resigned.
I guess about knowing that I need to change things, and that I'm not going to be happy here much longer. Also, I can't help but feel that humility is not entirely present in that place, either. The amount of times I hear people praising themselves in a given day is sort of baffling -- and not that I don't think we should fully love ourselves, but I don't know about talking about it all the time.
More later.
It is coming to my attention more and more that there are no a particularly large amount of strong, independent, smart women hanging around the Whitehaus. I think there is a reason for that -- the reason being, they aren't exactly welcome. And I don't mean to sound conceited, but I consider myself a part of that group now, and I really just don't think I can participate in the same, stagnant world anymore. I want better friends -- ones I can be open with, communicate with, be honest with, without feeling so much pressure to constantly impress.
Honestly, most times over there I feel like it's a contest of who's the coolest, who's making the most interesting "art", who did the most outrageous thing. And I admit fully to being a somewhat sheltered girl from the "country" -- but I really believe in roots, in family, in love, in openness and down-to-earth-ness. And I just feel out of place here. I don't feel resentful or angry so much, just resigned.
I guess about knowing that I need to change things, and that I'm not going to be happy here much longer. Also, I can't help but feel that humility is not entirely present in that place, either. The amount of times I hear people praising themselves in a given day is sort of baffling -- and not that I don't think we should fully love ourselves, but I don't know about talking about it all the time.
More later.