Nervous

[navastar]

humm..humm..humm...its mid-night i know i should be sleeping but i cant..i have this bad feeling in the pit of my stomache that something bad has happen or is happening or is going to happen..idk what it is..okie well im going to start from the beginning..last night i went to a party and i told jeremy about it..he didnt really like it but he said it was okie..he asked only 3 things from me..1. to keep in touch with him through out the night 2. no drinking and 3.no sexual contact with guys...or really any contact with guys. i said okie...and i did all 3 things..well last night i had this dream that jeremy went to a party and kissed and girl called me in the middle of the night and told me about it..i woke up teary eyed..today he told me that he got invited to a party but wasnt sure if he was going to go..well i called him around 6ish and he said he would call me later..he hasnt called me..ive tried calling him but the last couple of times his phone was off...and i left a message..there were also times when it was on and he didnt pick up..im soo nervous idk if he went to the party or what is going on..where he is at or anything? i know i probably shouldnt but that dream..it is just bothering me? i wish he would of let me know if he was going or not..or even call me a few times like i did last night..im soo scared idk why.. im sure everything is fine..its just ahhh...there is just this lil voice in the back of my head that is just telling me that something bad is going to happen that when he does call me im going to find out some bad news..and i really really dont want that..i dont want that at all..he has never not called me back..im going CRAZY!! i want to turn my phone off so im not tempted to call him ever 5secs..but then i want to leave it on just in case he calls me..and i want to go to bed and sleep to let time pass but then i cant sleep im worried to death! i love him and i cant lose him and know that he is at a pary at least i think he went..and that he is there with other girls and didnt tell me he was going..scares me..frightens me..i wish he was here..i miss him soo much..i cant help but lay in my bed and just wish he was lieing next to me..and i cant help but find myself dreaming about him and then waking up in the middle of the night teary eyed...i want to see him soo bad..even if it is just for 2 sec..i just want him to hold me again hug me and kiss me..and look into his eyes and know that i will always be safe..i know deep down that he would never want to do anything to hurt me..but then there is that freakin voise!! the voise that will never go away!! i wish it would just leave! i never thought i would be so scared in my life to loose someone..i also never thought i would be in love and i am
~THE REAL ME~