R.I.P. James Freyslaben
Its been a while since I've written here and with good reason. The last few months have been a roller coaster in life and in school. As this second to last semester closed up, the decline of my stepfather's health quickened. It was that time and it came so suddenly tonight.
At 10:08 he passed away peacefully on 12/18/2009
James was a good man. Not the brightest but he lived a good life the best he could despite all the challenges he had. All he wanted was that classic saying: "to love and be loved in return". He found it with my mother but the time was too short and he fought for these long months to obtain more time despite his condition worsening.
Tonight, I could feel the winds stirring and God was near. He was offering his hand to Jim telling him it was okay to let go. It was only a body and that heaven was awaiting him. That is where he is despite all the pain we feel right now. I sat alongside his bed watching him go so peacefully and its beauty has no words.
It left me shaken beyond anything. Death is beautiful but it really frightened me that we had to stay with him for over 2 hours before they arrived to take him. As a ritual in our family it was custom to clean him and present him as he was the man he was. My hands couldn't stop shaking as I cleaned, and I realized I can't handle death very well.
So now I sit unable to sleep and I feel numb to the memories I have. It is an internal struggle and maybe talking to God tonight will give me a path. All I ask is prayer and peace.
We all return one day. God will be there. Our family. Heaven...
At 10:08 he passed away peacefully on 12/18/2009
James was a good man. Not the brightest but he lived a good life the best he could despite all the challenges he had. All he wanted was that classic saying: "to love and be loved in return". He found it with my mother but the time was too short and he fought for these long months to obtain more time despite his condition worsening.
Tonight, I could feel the winds stirring and God was near. He was offering his hand to Jim telling him it was okay to let go. It was only a body and that heaven was awaiting him. That is where he is despite all the pain we feel right now. I sat alongside his bed watching him go so peacefully and its beauty has no words.
It left me shaken beyond anything. Death is beautiful but it really frightened me that we had to stay with him for over 2 hours before they arrived to take him. As a ritual in our family it was custom to clean him and present him as he was the man he was. My hands couldn't stop shaking as I cleaned, and I realized I can't handle death very well.
So now I sit unable to sleep and I feel numb to the memories I have. It is an internal struggle and maybe talking to God tonight will give me a path. All I ask is prayer and peace.
We all return one day. God will be there. Our family. Heaven...