managed and formal relationship spaces and 1000's of questions
Can a relationship be a constructed as a formalized agreement that is artificial, but meets needs for partners where jealousy and possessive feelings can be managed? Say for instance a particular arrangement where a partner is free to explore a limited range of outside behaviors but has a strict limit on emotional involvement or has agreed to
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I have lived with these questions and this potential vision for almost a month now. In the process of thinking about it I think we will have to have a counselor or at least a mediator for hammering out agreements. That process will have to involve one on one clarifications for all members at different points, as you suggest. I really want this to work this time, even if it is for a little while. I believe what went wrong last time was that I was not honest with myself about what I wanted, and not willing to let go when I KNEW it was not working.
For now I am leaving the negotiation process until I have a significant person for whom to negotiate. I have decided to focus on developing deep friendships that have the potential to evolve further toward a romantic path. I am not cultivating romantic attachments, but I know that I will have to have a base of friendship and trust before I even think about stepping beyond those boundaries. Having a community of friends that actively identify as Bi, gay, or queer and know and accept me will help support me even if nothing romantic comes from those friendships.
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