managed and formal relationship spaces and 1000's of questions
Can a relationship be a constructed as a formalized agreement that is artificial, but meets needs for partners where jealousy and possessive feelings can be managed? Say for instance a particular arrangement where a partner is free to explore a limited range of outside behaviors but has a strict limit on emotional involvement or has agreed to refrain from certain sexual behavior. Can a BDSM relationship fulfill this requirement? Can it be a prostitution arrangement? Should it not be a paid relationship, or is that a form of honesty and up front negotiation that makes things easier? I like the idea of contracts and written agreements so everyone knows and agrees to limits. I feel like this is going to have to be a very formal undertaking for many reasons. Are there other ways to do this other than a formal limited arrangement? Is this easier than a deep friendship relationship or a friendship with benefits? How would those work? What kind of people could I trust with these things?
What would it look like? This negotiated, limited scope extra relationship space? How could you manage it? How much physical calendar space, emotional space, and financial space would it take up? Would there have to be a physical space for it like an apartment or hotel room? How would that work in the context of children, jobs and a primary relationship? Can it work?
Many things have gone wrong with scenarios I have tried to realize before: goals were unclear, boundaries were not discussed, expectations were not explored, communication was not clear and formalized, and painful topics were avoided. Things were not agreed upon beforehand,and situations that were not working or just were stupid continued for stupid, blind reasons. Those things need to be accounted for and steps taken for this partnership to work if this extra dimension can work within its boundaries.
I am confused as fuck. I am dealing with past, future, fears, gender and sexual identity issues and confusions. I need to explore and the internet is not cutting it anymore. so. advice please?
What would it look like? This negotiated, limited scope extra relationship space? How could you manage it? How much physical calendar space, emotional space, and financial space would it take up? Would there have to be a physical space for it like an apartment or hotel room? How would that work in the context of children, jobs and a primary relationship? Can it work?
Many things have gone wrong with scenarios I have tried to realize before: goals were unclear, boundaries were not discussed, expectations were not explored, communication was not clear and formalized, and painful topics were avoided. Things were not agreed upon beforehand,and situations that were not working or just were stupid continued for stupid, blind reasons. Those things need to be accounted for and steps taken for this partnership to work if this extra dimension can work within its boundaries.
I am confused as fuck. I am dealing with past, future, fears, gender and sexual identity issues and confusions. I need to explore and the internet is not cutting it anymore. so. advice please?