sharpen your knife
new years eve once again. tiny drops of happiness leak out my mouth like a loose faucet, creating a smile with eyes glowing like a saphire sky...yet consumed by total confusion..wondering...why? how? wtf...betrayed and backstabbed so many times and they all wonder the cause of my actions...the reasons behind my pain and constant relapse of such a potent substance...but no excuse is to be used as justification for things i have done...for that is not the point of why these words are being written for you to read...just the simple thought and feeling of being hurt and having such hopeful trust built up...crash down by the stab of that knife...its not fair...and its been time and time again...best friends? the definition that remains in my knowledge of what a best friend is...is NOT what you are. i feel like you have become such a stranger...and im wondering if things will ever change...i love you....but what have i done to YOU to deserve this...? no longer can i confide in your ears or smile from your comforting words. and now you smile without your eyes and your hands are cold...i hate feeling these thoughts toward you...we were so great...our companionship was unbreakable...but once again you broke me down and made me feel like nothing...i am weak? no darling, you have proved you are the weak-link...with a side of hypocrite....how could you...*tear*