(no subject)
Why it's so hard to interact with other humans?
A very old friend of mine is back to the town because work. I met him like 15 years ago, maybe more. He was a customer of a place I worked as cashier, we used to drink coffee and talk every day while I was at work. I had boyfriend who worked there wih me. This guy was very respectful and nice and it was a nice friendship.
After I quit that job we kept in touch in facebook, and we played some games together for a while. 6 years ago I got him in the street and invited him to have a coffee before he leaves the city to move toother city where his girlfriend lived.
Now he is back to the town, and 2 weekends ago he came home to drink coffee and catch up with me. I knew he has a daughter with his girlfriend, and she also has another kid from a previous boyfriend. I was happy to see him again, and didn't mind to invite him to home because he is very respectful and he has couple.
That day I learned they don't live together because the girl was not sure to keep going with the relationship. He left her and their daughter and move back here to get a better job. We had coffee then I cooked a pizza and we keep talking until it was very late, maybe 3 or 4 am when he left.
Today we were chatting when suddenly he said there is something he wanted to ask me for long but he is not sure to do it.... instantly my brain said WARNING and also "Oh boy there you go, directly to fuck things up". I tried to avoid the topic but he keep talking, so I said "I feel that your question will make me feel uncomfortable". He said that probably it will, and also said it's something about the past and he usually would be very direct to ask but with me he doesn't know... so all those information make me feel that his question would be if in the past when I met him I felt something for him, or any kind of question about feelings. I think he is trying to see if there is any chance for us to get involved in the present (even when he knows I have sex with someone) Other than that I don't know what other question he doesn't know how to ask me and will make me feel uncomfortable.
I told him my past is pretty fine in the past, and i have no intention to bring anything to the present but he kept trying to ask, so I told him, if the question won't change anything (as he said) but it will make me feel uncomfortable, then he should not ask. He wasn't ready to let it go so I stopped replying his messages until he gave up. Now I am very pissed off. And now I feel uncomfortable talking to him. Now I have to be careful with what I say or what I do with him because he can misunderstand my intentions. This stress me out! I don't flirt with him, I don't use sweet words, I don't have any kind of behavior that can make him to think I am looking for something happens. Why people need to mess everything up always?