Ok I feel I'm losing my mind, literally. I feel my mind took all the control and power over me and it's going to ruin me if I don't do something about. I look at myself in the mirror and I can see someone getting insane, really. I can see it on my eyes. Since few days I also stop breathing!!! it freak me out.
My mind became overactive, I couldn't stop it and I was sure it was maybe good. Let's make my mind more powerful! I thought it was something smart to do, so today I was reading the news and I saw an article about a book to learn how to control the mind.
"Mental GPS 2.0" by Celia Antonini. I tried to get the electronic book but I couldn't find it, so I evaluated to buy it. I did a research for see the review about the book, then I found another book wich seems good.
"The power of now" by Russell Dicaro. You can get this book on pdf for free. Happy about that because in the bookshop it's expensive. I started to read it and I realized that I became my mind. And I believe that my mind and thougths is the most important thing I have, I try to protect it all the time, and I feel without it I'm nothing. I'm very afraid to lose my thoughts!
I didn't end to read the first chapter and so far this book shows me how lost I'm but also give me some tips to stop thinking, something that I could never do. I wanted to try it asap, so I took a shower and I put focus in that... the sound of the water, my breaths, the warm on my skin, my body, my hair.. I didn't let my mind flight, I put all my attention on my 5 senses so my mind was quiet... finally the silence!!!! The muscles of my faces got relaxed instantly
So fast I left the shower and my mind started working again I could feel all the tension on my face again
The predominance of mind is no more than a stage in the evolution of consciousness. We need to go on to the next stage now as a matter of urgency; otherwise, we will be destroyed by the mind, which has grown into a monster
"The voice (your thoughts) comments, speculates, judges, compares, complains, likes, dislikes, and so on. The voice isn't necessarily relevant to the situation you find yourself in at the time; it may be reviving the recent or distant past or rehearsing or imagining possible future situations. Here it often imagines things going wrong and negative outcomes; this is called worry. Sometimes this soundtrack is accompanied by visual images or "mental movies."
Even if the voice is relevant to the situation at hand, it will interpret it in terms of the past. This is because the voice belongs to your conditioned mind, which is the result of all your past history as well as of the collective cultural mind-set you inherited. So you see and judge the present through the eyes of the past and get a totally distorted view of it. It is not uncommon for the voice to be a person's own worst enemy."
"Start listening to the voice in your head as often as you can. Pay particular attention to any repetitive thought patterns, those old gramophone records that have been playing in your head perhaps for many years. This is what I mean by "watching the thinker," which is another way of saying: listen to the voice in your head, be there as the witnessing presence. When you listen to that voice, listen to it impartially. That is to say, do not judge. Do not judge or condemn what you hear, for doing so would mean that the same voice has come in again through the back door. You'll soon realize: there is the voice, and here I am listening to it, watching it. This I am realization, this sense of your own presence, is not a thought. It arises from beyond the mind.
So when you listen to a thought, you are aware not only of the thought but also of yourself as the witness of the thought. A new dimension of consciousness has come in. As you listen to the thought, you feel a conscious presence - your deeper self - behind or underneath the thought, as it were. The thought then loses its power over you and quickly subsides, because you are no longer energizing the mind through identification with it. This is the beginning of the end of involuntary and compulsive thinking."
Why should we be addicted to thinking?
Because you are identified with it, which means that you derive your sense of self from the content and activity of your mind. Because you believe that you would cease to be if you stopped thinking. As you grow up, you form a mental image of who you are, based on your personal and cultural conditioning. We may call this phantom self the ego. It consists of mind activity and can only be kept going through constant thinking. The term ego means different things to different people, but when I use it here it means a false self, created by unconscious identification with the mind.
To the ego, the present moment hardly exists. Only past and future are considered important. This total reversal of the truth accounts for the fact that in the ego mode the mind is so dysfunctional. It is always concerned with keeping the past alive, because without it - who are you? It constantly projects itself into the future to ensure its continued survival and to seek some kind of release or fulfillment there. It says: "One day, when this, that, or the other happens, I am going to be okay, happy, at peace."
Even when the ego seems to be concerned with the present, it is not the present that it sees: It misperceives it completely because it looks at it through the eyes of the past. Or it reduces the present to a means to an end, an end that always lies in the mind-projected future. Observe your mind and you'll see that this is how it works
I will save on my journal the paragraphs I want to keep on mind but if you want to read this book, you can download it on English from here
https://brahmstalks.files.wordpress.com/2016/05/the-power-of-now.pdf