NaNo Day 16: The Trapeze Swinger
A story that is in no way related to NaNo but a homework for English class and that I liked enough to actually post here. It is probably a lot of things, but not what my dear teacher expected anyone to produce with the prompt being two people on a trapeze, but I am known to do unexpected things.
I was also inspired by a song, "The Trapeze Swinger" by Iron & Wine, that obviously gave the short story its title and is just beautiful which is why I am uploading it to esnips for whoever is interested in hearing it.
The Trapeze Swinger
Peter had always dreamed about being part of the carnival. He trained his trapeze acts at least five times a week, always in secret, somewhat ashamed of what other teenagers his age would say when they saw that instead of playing soccer or football, he was training his trapeze act hidden in the gym, risking so much every time he did it because there was no safety net to catch him in case he fell, there was just the trapeze and him and that was enough for him when he was hanging up there, it was enough for him to know that he could do it, there was no need for anyone but him to know about his secret passion, not even Ivy, the girl he had had a crush on for so long now but who only saw him as a friend.
It doesn’t matter, he often told himself, I won’t be here much longer. I’ll be leaving as soon as possible, I’ll be leaving with the carnival.
But still, years passed, soon he wasn’t thirteen anymore, he was seventeen, he and Ivy had been a couple for at least six months now, he had even told her about his secret hobby, she was the only one who knew and she loved to watch him perform his dangerous stunts as much as she loved to spend any other time with him.
It felt good to be with her, Peter had to admit that he had never been happier than when he sat in the kitchen with Ivy, maps spread over the table and them deciding on a road trip they would be taking as soon as they graduated. And when someone came in, they would quickly hide the maps, pretending they hadn’t been up to anything. The plans for this trip were as secret as Peter’s hours of rehearsal in the gym.
In these times of happiness, Peter thought that nothing could get in the way of his future career as a trapeze artist; he had planned everything perfectly for when the carnival that had first inspired him to try his way with the trapeze came back to town. Then, he would show them what he was able to and they would ask him to join the show, he was sure of it. And he was also sure that he and Ivy would be together forever. She was the perfect woman for him, she understood what he was aiming for, didn’t make fun of it, she acted as if it was the most natural thing in the world, having a trapeze-obsessed boyfriend and he loved her for her encouraging words, her way to show up when he was training and sitting there silently on a bench, just watching his daredevil stunts.
Her happiness didn’t fade when the carnival came back to town and he auditioned, she was happy when he was told that he could travel with the carnival for the whole summer before senior year, she didn’t complain about not being able to spend the summer with him, she was at least as happy as he was and when Peter saw her like this, he knew that this was the woman he had been waiting for his whole life.
“I’ll be back before school starts”, Peter promised her on their last evening together before he was going to leave with the carnival. They were sitting in a clearing in the forest, he had his bags ready to leave at first daylight and meet the rest of the carnival, to leave with them.
“I’ll be waiting for you, counting the days. You’ll be the best trapeze artist that ever was with this carnival - or any other that travels this country.” She sounded so sure it made all the doubt he felt go away. “People will love you. Who could possibly resist you? I certainly can’t.” She planted a kiss on his lips. “And when I miss you, I’ll look up into the skies and imagine you swinging between the stars and I will smile and keep your whereabouts to myself like I promised you I would.”
“Ivy”, Peter muttered, “could you tell my mother not to worry?”
She nodded. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”
They spent the night together, awake, talking, making love to each other, trying to say goodbye for the present with him promising he would be back soon over and over again. Ivy just smiled and told him she knew and that she would be waiting patiently.
The summer with the carnival was the most wonderful Peter had ever had. He couldn’t even compare it to the summer when he and Ivy had started dating, it was just so much better that his love for Ivy seemed pale in comparison to it. He wished it would never end, dreaded to think of the day when the carnival would return to his hometown, to Ivy.
In the last few weeks he talked to the owner of the carnival, asked him if he could stay for an unknown amount of time, maybe forever, bring his girlfriend with him and his request was approved. For Peter it was like being in Heaven, knowing he would be able to be with Ivy forever, and performing his trapeze act every day in front of people who appreciated it, who paid to see him do what he loved most in the world.
The day he returned home, he spotted Ivy standing about a hundred feet away from him as he helped to set up everything. He only went to see her once they were done and she jumped into his arms, he could see the tears streaming down her cheeks.
“I missed you so much”, she confessed.
“So did I.” Peter kissed her, hoping she wouldn’t feel that he had barely thought about her in these past months. “But we will never have to part ways again”, he continued. “I talked to the carnival’s owner, he said you could travel with us from now on.”
Ivy took a step backwards and looked at Peter, she didn’t care that it was obvious how shocked she was about this revelation that he thought was so wonderful.
“I can’t do that, Peter, and you know it. I have a life and you are a part of it but no matter how much I care for you, I am not jeopardizing my own dreams for you, I am not sacrificing everything I worked towards. I want to go to college, I want to become an architect, Peter.”
He looked at her, not able to hide the surprise. “I thought … I thought you wanted me to do this. You supported me, you told me to leave.”
She bit her lip and nodded. “I thought that if you spent a summer doing this, you would become disillusioned with your dreams, aim for something more conventional, a job that would allow you to settle down. Don’t get me wrong, I always thought the trapeze act was cute, but not meant to last.”
“I’m not going to give up on it, Ivy. I can’t. this is what I was meant to do. I can feel it. This is my dream, this is what I worked towards for so many years now, I can’t let the opportunity slip away.”
“So you’re letting me slip away instead”, Ivy said coldly.
“I … I’m sorry. It’s not an easy decision to make, I love you, but -“
“But you just love the trapeze act more than you love me. There is no need for apologies, peter, I understand. In a way I always feared it would happen at some point, I knew that you would have to choose, I just wish you’d have chosen me.”
Before Peter could say anything else, the girl turned away and disappeared in the darkness, leaving him alone, or so he thought for about a second until he realized that he was not alone. He had the carnival, he had found a new home. He had sacrificed something for it, something that meant a lot to him, but he felt that it was worth it.
Years later, Peter had become one of the carnival’s main attractions. He didn’t think about his life before he had joined the carnival often, there was not much to think about, his life had only really begun when he had first gotten onto the stage, performed in front of people who watched in awe, stunned by his abilities and his dangerous feats.
He didn’t think about what it meant when he returned to the town he had grown up in, the one he had left an eternity ago. It was only when he spotted a woman with black hair and green eyes in the audience that he remembered what made this town different than any other. She had grown older, more mature since he had last seen her almost ten years ago and it took him a while to realize who she was, at first he only saw a beautiful woman with a little kid in her arms, but the longer he looked, the more it became obvious that this was his past lover, the woman that he had given up on to become the well-known trapeze artist he was today.
He tried to ignore her and was able to, t least during the first time she was present during his great act, but when he started to see her more and more frequently, he started to grow distressed, didn’t understand what Ivy was doing there, watching him like she had done years ago in the gym when she had been the only one, not one of many in a crowd.
He wanted to talk to her, but he didn’t even know what it was he wanted to tell her, she had obviously moved on, he saw her with a man during one of his shows, she had given birth to a child, she had moved on, something he had never been able to do. He was still the young man he had been when he had first left with the carnival, naïve, willing to risk everything, aiming so high that it was difficult to achieve his goals but he always did. He had thought that if he were to ever see her again, it would be to discover that he had done the right thing, that he had grown as a person by joining the carnival instead of staying in the town he had been born in, graduating high school, but things were not what they seemed. It was her who had grown, he had stayed the same. A trapeze swinger who had swung past what he was swinging towards and continuing to perform his show because it was the only thing he was really able to.