I'm pathetic... I know, I know...
For Sale:
- One heart. Slightly used, horribly broken.
- One pair of lungs. Temporarily malfunctioning, can be fixed with some vitamin C.
- One brain. Heavily used, but apparently useless.
I hate this. I've been really sick the past couple days, so I didn't get much done over the weekend, so as a result I had to read 176 pages of Thoreau's Walden today. Wow. I have to finish the last 80-some pages tomorrow. It's not a bad book, really. I guess I expected worse, given the kinds of people who usually love that book (which in my experience have been nature hippies).
I've only seen Megan once since I got back (she broke up with me over the phone while I was in Wisconsin). She smiled when she saw me, but still seemed anxious for the conversation to end. I dunno. I just have this feeling like she'll have someone new soon (certainly enough decent guys want to be with her), and I'll just be left with this void that can't ever be filled.
And I miss home so much. I don't know why I ever left, why coming to Texas ever seemed like a good idea... oh yeah, I thought there was a good grad program here. All I have to look forward to is lots of reading to do (which actually is something good). And then... I dunno. I know I'll always get my work done, but after that... part of me just wants to be a drunk. And part of me wants to get in shape and be healthier and do more with my life. And mostly I want to do that for me. But there's this little part of me that thinks if I was in better shape, I'd be more attractive to Megan, and knowing that is what makes me want to just be a drunk instead. Make sense?
Fuck it, I have too much work to do this week to get in shape or be an alcoholic anyway. I'll figure it out this weekend.
But if anyone knows how to fix a broken heart, let me know.
<3 Nate
- One heart. Slightly used, horribly broken.
- One pair of lungs. Temporarily malfunctioning, can be fixed with some vitamin C.
- One brain. Heavily used, but apparently useless.
I hate this. I've been really sick the past couple days, so I didn't get much done over the weekend, so as a result I had to read 176 pages of Thoreau's Walden today. Wow. I have to finish the last 80-some pages tomorrow. It's not a bad book, really. I guess I expected worse, given the kinds of people who usually love that book (which in my experience have been nature hippies).
I've only seen Megan once since I got back (she broke up with me over the phone while I was in Wisconsin). She smiled when she saw me, but still seemed anxious for the conversation to end. I dunno. I just have this feeling like she'll have someone new soon (certainly enough decent guys want to be with her), and I'll just be left with this void that can't ever be filled.
And I miss home so much. I don't know why I ever left, why coming to Texas ever seemed like a good idea... oh yeah, I thought there was a good grad program here. All I have to look forward to is lots of reading to do (which actually is something good). And then... I dunno. I know I'll always get my work done, but after that... part of me just wants to be a drunk. And part of me wants to get in shape and be healthier and do more with my life. And mostly I want to do that for me. But there's this little part of me that thinks if I was in better shape, I'd be more attractive to Megan, and knowing that is what makes me want to just be a drunk instead. Make sense?
Fuck it, I have too much work to do this week to get in shape or be an alcoholic anyway. I'll figure it out this weekend.
But if anyone knows how to fix a broken heart, let me know.
<3 Nate