FANFIC ATLANTIS : SANCTUARY Part 2
Disclaimer : I don’t own anything. It’s just for fun.
***
The air was warm, a soft breeze spreading across the meadow, the flowers and wild grass around them waving like water in the ocean, brushing against their skin. Such a beautiful day was inviting to laziness. Once midday lunch over, they had left their hosts in a hurry, politly declining their offer to join them in meditation. John had quickly made an excuse, pretending to 'go check the perimeters' in case the beast would show up. He was getting very good at finding excuses, Teyla thought with amusement. Anything to avoid hours of inactivity and contemplation in complete silence.
She turned her head to her right, smiling at her friend lying next to her among the wild flowers of the meadow, looking at the sky above them with such intensity that she suspected she knew what was on his mind. He had been quiet for far too long now, which was very unusual of him. She studied his handsome features for a moment, allowing her eyes to wander briefly from his eyes, to his lips, following the line of his jaw. His beard had grown over the last weeks, changing his appearence slightly. He seemed comfortable enough, chewing on a wisp of straw. But she knew he was thinking about Atlantis.
They had discussed their situation countless of times, trying to understand why their rescue was so delayed. Rodney surely would have found a way to disable the forceshield. Unless something happened to him and Ronon on the other side. So many questions were running in their heads, worried thoughts for their friends and frustration for being trapped here, unable to find a way out of this place. Had Dr.Weir informed her people of her disappearance ? Her thoughts drifted to Halling and Jinto, she closed her eyes and focused on their faces, their smiles. With Charin, they were the closest thing to a family, her mother and father gone, lost to the wraith. She sighed, emotions overwelming her.
« Hey » John's deep voice broke the silence, startling her. She opened her eyes and found his gaze. « It's gonna be alright » he reassured her, « Rodney was able to detect the presence of the forceshield, he will find a way to deactivate it ». She smiled at him and nodded, before returning her eyes to the sky, feeling the breeze tickling her skin again.
« What kind of mag... ». She paused midsentence, before continuing « Science... what kind of science can let the sun beams and the air pass through the shield while keeping us trapped inside ? ». It was a rethorical question but she would have expected John to comment on it. He was silent though. Frowning, she turned her head in his direction again. Surprisingly, he was smiling and his eyes had an extra twinkle in it. She narrowed her eyes at him with suspicion « What ? » she asked.
Still smiling, he returned his attention on the sky above them and drew a deep breath before answering her « You almost said the 'M' word » he teased, « the word that can not be named... the word Rodney has forbidden us to say... ever ! » he added dramatically.
Teyla chuckled, unable to control her laugher « Well, my people call it magic, you call it science. I believe both can be true ». His smile grew wider and he nodded. She knew he was not the one to convince but she felt the need to explain herself « Your people have great skills. Your science is impressive and quite fascinating ». She looked at the sky again « Nevertheless, I think there is always a part of magic surrounding us. The birds flying so elegantly in the air and defying gravity... the clouds flotting peacefully above us, carried away by the wind... these little things are magic ». She smiled, imagining Rodney next to her, lecturing her on the logic of science. « But Rodney made us 'pinky swear', right ? » she teased, « he would not be pleased to hear about it ».
She could hear the smile in John's voice, as he answered her « What Rodney doesn't know, won't hurt him. And I won't repeat what you told me, I promise ». They fell into comfortable silence and she closed her eyes, embracing the quiet moment and focusing on the warmth of the breeze on her face. After what felt like a few minutes, John's voice raised loudly next to her « Magic is real, science is overrated ! Did you hear me McKay ? Now, prove me wrong and get your sorry ass over here, asap ! ».
Teyla laughed happily, surprisingly nostalgic of John and Rodney's constant bickering. « It's worth a try » John added, his arm brushing against hers as he shifted his position next to her. The movement catched her attention and she turned her head towards him again. She saw him throwing the wisp of straw away, lost in the contemplation of the trees nearby. Her eyes wandered again on his face, slowly descending, admiring the strong muscles of his neck. Her guard down, her mind completely at ease, she allowed herself to stare at him a little longer. Her eyes traveled back to his face, lingering on his lips a brief moment before she realised that his attention was focused on her now, facing her with a questionning look. She understood too late that she had been caught staring at him. This place had softened her, the domestic life and inactivity had put her barriers down and it seemed difficult to keep her emotions and feelings at bay lately.
« The beard is interesting » she told him as a way of explanation, hoping it would be a logical enough answer as to why she was staring at him. John winced immediatly, his hand strocking his jaw briefly « Yeah well, it has to go. It's itchy. The only problem is that there is no mirror here. I saw Avrid shaving his buddy the other day but the man is kind of clumsy. I don't want to end up like one of Picasso's portraits ».
Teyla smiled, despite the earth's reference that she couldn't quite understand « I could shave you, if you would like » she offered. John stared at her intensly, considering her proposal. « I have shaved my father and Halling a couple of times » she added, letting him know that she had enough experience and would unlikely hurt him.
He grinned at her, his eyes sparkling, and she found herself staring at him again « That would be great, thanks ». His smile was contagious and she could not help but grin back at him. They laid still, staring at eachother and for a moment, she forgot about Atlantis, her people, the cloister. Everything evaporated, the trees behind John faded away, her sole focus on the handsome man in front of her. Her friend and her partner, whom she trusted with her life. A man that came to her home through the stars two years ago, a descendent of the ancesters from a distant galaxy. She had never believed in destiny, too preoccupied by the safety of her people, under the constant threat of the wraith. But that night on Athos had changed everything.
John and his people had brought new hope to the stars. They had the spirits of explorers and hearts of warriors. They had not hesitated to board the enemy's ship to rescue their own soldiers and her people. She had thought she would die on that ship, her soul and energy drained from her at the hands of unspeakable monsters. Like her mother and father before her.
But John had not given up on them. Dr Weir had told her that they had argued about the mission. That he was the one that convinced her to send a rescue team. She also had told her that he was the only one standing for her when everyone else suspected her to be a traitor, arguing loudly with Sergent Bates and refusing categorically that possibility. He had too much faith in her, sometimes it frightened her. No one had fought for her before. She was usually the one that stood up for her people and their beliefs.
Suddendly overwhelmed by her emotions, she forced herself to break their connexion and looked away, trying to regain some composure. She could feel his worried eyes on her and his voice was soft when he spoke again « You okay ? » he whispered. She simply nodded, not trusting her voice right now.
Silence fell upon them. It was so quiet here. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on her breathing, chastising herself for being so emotional. She felt his hand on hers, silently comforting her, no doubt oblivious to the effect he had on her. His thumb lightly brushed the back of her hand. She so desperately wanted to turn and snuggle up in his arms, breathing in his masculine sent. Instead, she squeezed his hand, holding him a little bit longer before they would have to leave. « I am fine » she offered weakly, « I have faith in Rodney ».
John groaned « Please don't tell him that or we'll never hear the end of it ». Teyla chuckled. John always found the right words to lift her spirits. His humor always served them well on missions, helping to diffuse the tensions. Memories of their first meeting resurfaced and she grinned, remembering his words... and his smile.
Lying down next to him, alone and away from any civilisation and distraction, was very dangerous. She mustered up all her willpower to change her focus and sat up, letting go of his hand. They had to go back to the cloister and join the others. Their meditation should be over by now. She glanced at John, still lying next to her, showing no intention to get up. She lifted an eyebrow at him, silently questionning him « Let's get rid of that beard », she said.
With a loud and almost desperate sigh, he stood up. She took the hand he offered and stood up as well, relief and disappointment dueling inside her troubled mind. They slowly made their way back to the camp, conversation drifting to their new friends and their solid focus on ascension.
« How can you devote you entire time to meditation and pass up living your life ? » John asked, doubtful. He was a pragmatic man and he strongly believed that life was too short and you had to make the most of it. She shared his conviction. However, she understood the appeal of ascension and the desire to follow the path of the ancesters, reaching an other plan of existence.
« You have to understand that the actions of the ancesters have impacted our lives, here in this galaxy. The myth of the old city of Atlantis and ascension have been imprinted on our culture for many generations. The fear of the wraith and the promise of a better life, free from the constant threat of the enemy is appealing ».
John remained silent for a minute « Well, when you put it that way... I guess I can understand ». They were walking through the forest now, the meadow disappearing from view. The trees were slowing them down, forcing them to get closer to eachother, leaving almost no space between them. « And it's not like they don't enjoy life » he admitted.
« Of course » she added, « living simply does not necessary mean that you don't value life or enjoy it ». John chuckled by her side and she had to incline her head slightly to look up at him « What is it ? » she asked. Glancing briefly at her, he cleared his throat, suddenly uncomfortable « Hum, nothing ».
Teyla maintained her focus on him. Sensing her eyes on him, he finally gave up « It's just that... well, I think Teira is into me ». Surprised, Teyla stayed quiet for a brief moment, not sure how to respond to such a disturbing news. She decided to keep the conversation light « Oh really ? Your charming personality has operated again. Rodney must be right then, always comparing you to this... M. Kirk ? ».
John winced painfully, the reference always making him uncomfortable « Mock me but the other day, while we were talking about... » he gestured around him, his arm brushing against hers, « … this exciting and appealing life of meditation... ». Teyla smiled at him, amused. « well » he continued, « she looked directly at me and said in that sexy and yet scary voice... 'life here is not entirely without pleasure' ».
Teyla frowned and stared at the horizon in front of her. She knew John's handsome figure catched the eye of women. And she had seen Teira glancing at him on occasion. But she had not expected her to be so forward with John. Maybe unconsciously, she selfishly thought that her constant presence by his side and their sleeping arrangements would discourage any flirtation among the females of the group. Also, she had always assumed that these people had no other focus than meditation. Obviously, she was wrong.
She tried to keep her tone light, as she spoke « Very scary, indeed ». She paused a few seconds, before commenting honestly « well, she is a beautiful woman ». She waited his answer, wondering if he entertained the idea of sharing a bed with Teira. After all, she had no right to judge him or interfer in his love life. Despite their strong chemestry and their tight friendship, they had not expressed their true feelings to eachother. Some times, she could feel his intense gaze on her, she could hear the flirtatious tone in his voice when addressing her. She had felt the tension between them right from the start. And yet, he had never said anything that could lead her to believe that he was attracted to her. She understood he was in a difficult position, as the military leader of Atlantis. Their life was complicated and dangerous and they did not have the luxury or time to start a relationship.
Suddenly realising that John had been awefully quiet, she glanced at him, only to notice that he was staring at her. Having now her full attention, he answered « she's not the only beautiful woman on this planet ». John's peering eyes burned her skin and she could feel her cheeks flushing with the compliment. She offered him a small smile of gratitude and looked away, not entirely sure how to interprete his words. Maybe she was reading too much into it. After all, he often seemed oblivious to his natural charm and the effect he had on people... women mostly.
Relief hit her as they reached the edge of the forest and the first cabins came into view. « I will draw water from the well » she said hurriedly, walking in its direction with long strides.
« And I'll talk to Avrid, see if I can borrow his knife, rasor... whatever it is... » he added with suspicion, « I'll meet you outside our cabin in a few ».
Teyla nodded « Very well ». They separated and she walked further into the cloister, towards the main area where people were usually gathering. Hetta was running to her with excitement and Teyla smiled down at the little girl with genuine affection. It was refreshing to have a child in the camp. Hetta reminded her of Jinto. So much energy and innocence.
« Hello Teyla ! » she almost screamed with delight. « Where have you been ? I've been looking for you ! I want to show you the new dress my sister has made for my doll... ». She stopped suddenly and frowned « Where is John ? ». Teyla smiled. The little girl had also fallen under the charm of her partner. Very platonic crush, of course. She enjoyed John's stories and his constant teasing. He was very good with children.
« He is on his way, do not worry ». Teyla kneeled in front of the little girl. « Let me have a look at Nalla(1) » she said, admiring the doll. « What a beautiful dress ! It is very nice, blue as the sky ». Hetta nodded enthusiastically « She is very pretty ! ».
Teyla brushed her fingers on the thin material « When I was your age, I had a doll just like yours. She had long curly brown hair. Except her dress was a bright red.
« What was her name ? » Hetta asked, curious, « Do you still have her ? ».
Teyla's thoughts drifted back to her youth and the memory of a particulary grim day where she and her father had been visiting a planet for a trade and had merely escaped a wraith attack, leaving the doll behind. The violence of the attack and the loss of her favorite doll had been such a shock to her that she had been inconsolable for days afterwards « I have lost her a long time ago » she told her with sadness, « her name was Zabetha1) ».
Hetta nodded her understanding « It is a pretty name », she said. She looked down at her doll and stared at it with a deep frown. « What is it ? » Teyla asked. The little girl lifted her eyes to her in a silent prayer « Can I ask you a favor ? ». Teyla smiled at her « of course ».
« Well » she began, « Teira told me that I would have to leave Nalla behind once we reach ascension ». She hold her doll tightly to her chest, « I don't want to leave her alone ». Teyla understood that one had to detach itself from material needs in order to ascend. Nonetheless, it was a cruel thing to do to a child. She knew how it felt and she was suddenly overwhelmed. She ran a hand in Hetta's hair, aware that for the second time today, she had let her emotions run freely.
« Would you please take care of her while I'm gone ? » Teyla was taken aback and touched by the little girl's question. « It is very brave of you to let her go. I promise that I will take good care of Nalla and I will take her home with me ». Hetta threw herself into Teyla's arms, obviously relieved. « Thank you » she whispered.
Teyla hold her tightly, kissing her hair « You are very welcome » she told her, « I am very proud of you ». Tears were threatening to fall down and she forced her watery eyes to focus on her surroundings. Her eyes fell instantly on John, who was silently watching them. They smiled at eachother and Teyla whispered back at the little girl « Guess who is spying on us, right now ? ».
Hetta let go of Teyla and turned around. Her eyes lit up and she ran towards John. « Hi there » he said, his tone light as he brushed Hetta's hair. « Hello John ! » she extended her arm to show him her doll « Look ! ». He studied it for a few seconds « Waou, I like her new dress, very pretty ».
Hetta beamed « Yes, indeed ! ». She turned around and smiled at Teyla « And I'm not sad anymore because Teyla will take care of her when I join my brother and sister in ascension ». Teyla smiled back at her, glad to have helped lifting such a burden off her little shoulders. She stood up, brushing off dust from her dress with the back of her hand. She sensed John's intense gaze on her again. « She's in good hands, then » he told Hetta with assurance. Teyla smiled, staring back at him.
« I know » the little girl stated with confidence. « So, it is almost tea time. Nalla and I would love to have you both for the occasion ». John broke their eye contact and looked down at Hetta « I would be delighted. Is there something to eat with your tea ? » he asked, then suddendly winced « waou, I heard myself asking for food and I now realise how 'McKay-ish' it sounds ». Teyla chuckled, her spirit lifted, once again.
« There is pie » Hetta continued, ignoring his comment.
« Well, I'm in ! » John said, « but first, Teyla will help me to get rid of that scratchy beard. Do you mind ? It won't be long ». Hetta smiled « Of course. Can I help ?! ». John thought about it for a moment « Sure, you can help me draw water from the well ». She ran past him, still holding her doll close « I'll get the bucket ! ».
Teyla smiled at her enthousiasm « She has so much energy, pray that she does not ask to shave you », she teased. John winced.
« Speaking of... have you borrowed the torture device ? » she asked. With an exagerated bow, he offered her the sharp rasor and the equivalent of a shaving foam. « Very well. I'll let you catch up with Hetta, then ». he smiled at her, before turning around and walking away. She watched him leave, her eyes lingering on him for a moment.
***
Meditation had not been satisfying today. That unsettling sensation had returned, the impression that the future was changing, escaping her grasp. She had been so confident in her abilities, certain of her visions. But now, her mind was troubled and filled with doubt.
Since she was a child, she had been able to see images of the futur and she had prepared for that day to come. She could close her eyes and see John's face, the one that would lead her and her fellow companions to ascension. The one that would ascend by her side.
She could still see them all ascend, it was only a matter of time. John would defeat the beast, she was certain of it. Yet, some details had blurred as the months went by and she could not ignore anymore the new images that were flowding towards her, a new perspective that she had not predicted.
Funny how one tiny detail could change the futur. The unexpected presence of one person could change 'her' futur. Because if she was honest with herself, she had known from the moment Teyla had appeared at John's side, that her visions had been altered.
Teira sighed, allowing the sadness to overwhelm her heart, knowing that she had to accept that change in order to ascend. Regrets would lead her nowhere, she had to move on. Walking silently to the cloister, her brother by her side, she could see now that he was right. He had witnessed the great chemestry between their new hosts, he had warned her but she would not listen.
As she joined the others and sat down at the table, Teira's eyes drifted to the entrance of John and Teyla's cabin and suddenly, all came into place and her visions cleared. « Teira, are you alright ? » her brother asked, concern in his voice. She glanced at him briefly before returning her attention on John and Teyla, both facing eachother on the last step of the stairs.
« You were right » she told him, as she watched Teyla wipe the shaving foam away from John's face, her fingers lingering on his jaw. He didn't move out of her touch. Even from the distance, Teira could feel the tension between them. John's beautiful eyes solely focused on Teyla, staring at her with such intensity that no doubt persisted in Teira's mind.
She felt her brother's comforting hand on her back « I know », he said softly. She didn't need to say more, he understood. She looked at him and smiled reassuringly, kowing that he had seen her troubled soul. « I'm sorry Teira ». She shook her head, returning her gaze on the couple. « It's alright, Avrid. I can not let my feelings get in the way of ascension ». She stayed quiet a moment, focusing on the new images forming in her mind « and I certainly won't get in the way of their true destiny ».
From the corner of her eye, she could see Avrid nod at her comment. Teira then returned her attention on the couple and saw Hetta running towards them, gripping John's shirt tightly and studying his face intensely, no doubt checking Teyla's good work. She seemed satisfied and giggled happily.
Teira smiled at her sister's innocent intrusion, completely oblivious to the quiet and romantic moment shared by their guests. But they didn't seem to mind the interruption. John lifted his hand to his face, glancing briefly at Teyla before leaning towards Hetta with a conspiratorial wink. He asked her a question, it seemed, because Hetta giggled again and shook her head vigorously.
« Hetta has developped a deep affection for our new friends » Avrid told her, having also witnessed the exchange. « She has indeed » she said, « she told me that Teyla would take care of Nalla when she ascends ». Her brother grinned « I see now that her mind is at rest. I noticed before that a little part of her soul was veiled, I assumed that she was missing our parents ». He paused, lost in thought « Teyla has a good heart », he added.
Teira smiled at her brother. He had always been the wisest, ever since their childwood. She didn't know what life would be after ascension but she would certainly miss their quiet conversations. Sadness overwhelmed her. She knew ascension was near. A new journey was ahead of them, exciting but unknown.
Her chest felt heavy suddenly and a loud growl echoed in the camp. She froze a second, then stood up and quickly walked to her little sister. Hetta was in John's arms. They met in the center of the cloister. « It is very close » she stated, worried. She noticed the change in John and Teyla's behaviour. They stood still, in alert, ready to fight.
« It's here » John said. Teira shook her head « but it's never come inside the cloister ». She looked at her sister, her little arms clutching at John's shirt « I'm scared » she said, her eyes filled with tears. John whispered something to her and she nodded in return. He then pushed her in Avrid's arms and took his knife « Take her inside », he ordered. She left his side and rushed towards her cabin, followed by her companions. The growl echoed again, menacing and frightening. John and Teyla stood side by side, knife in hand, ready to face the beast.
« Okay people, we're starting to develop some serious abandonnement issues here ! », he said out loud. Teira felt guilty. They were risking their lives to defend her people. Being by their side was the least she could do, even if it scared her. Without further thought, she opened the door and ran towards them, stopping a few feet behind John. He noticed her and nodded « Well, now there's three of us... » he said with irony.
The beast suddenly appeared, huge and cloaked in an almost invisible mantle. Teira saw Teyla and John running towards it without a moment of hesitation. Frozen, she could only watch them fighting the beast, skilled and focused but inevitably loosing the battle.
Teyla was suddenly knocked out violently and fell on the ground, unconscious. John was by her side in an instant and covered her body with his as the beast attacked again. Teira saw, powerless, the invisible claws latching onto John's back, toring his shirt apart.
« No ! » she screamed, finally moving. « Stop ! ». She was running now towards the beast, stopping only a moment to take the knife that had flown away from Teyla's grasp. John was not moving, neither Teyla. Teira returned her attention on the monster and prayed the ancesters to help her. She lifted a trembling hand in front of her, the knife's blade reflecting the light of the sun, blinding her vision.
Then the beast disappeared. All became quiet. Teira wondered if she had dreamed his moment. Then voices and hurried steps brought her back to reality. She let go of her knife and turned around slowly. Her brother was running towards her, worry showing on his face.
« I am all right » she told him before he could ask. Her eyes fell on Teyla and John « Carry them to their cabin, I'll go get Hetta ».
***
He heard voices in the far distance whispering to him. One in particular sounded familiar. Like a soft breeze carressing his skin. He frowned, trying to concentrate on the voice and fight against the darkness around him. Where was he ? Something had happened in Atlantis ? Was he trapped on a wraith's ship ? That thought sent a chill down his spine and he forced his eyes to open.
What he saw had nothing to do with a wraith. She was leaning against him, her brown hair loose over her beautiful face, her eyes filled with worry. She looked like an angel. Suddenly gripped by panic, his heart pounding in this chest, he sat up in his bed and reached for Teyla, his hands framing her face. She sat back a little, startled by his sudden impulse, but she didn't move out of his touch. He remembered their fight vividly now. He had seen Teyla unconscious on the ground, the beast ready to attack her again. He had acted on instinct, covering her body with his.
« John » she whispered, her brown eyes staring back at him. He felt her hand on his forearm and the tension left his body. She was alive. Taking a deep breath, he tried to find his bearings and turned his head to the right, registering a presence next to him.
A quick glance at the place reminded him that he was in his cabin. And stood by the window, Avrid and his sisters were looking at him with bemused faces. Slowly, his hands loosened their grip and he let go of Teyla's face, suddenly aware of his rash action. He couldn't let go of her completely though and his left hand lingered on her arm.
« You're alright, Teyla ? » he asked her. She nodded and smiled « I am fine. How are you feeling ? ». John briefly looked down and noted with relief that every limb of his body was intact. He was sore but fine « I'm alive » he stated. Teyla's hand was still on his forearm. She didn't let go either.
Avrid took a step forward and John finally turned his attention on him. « I've never seen such bravery » he said, « were it not for you, all may have been lost ». Vision of Teyla lying on the ground, unmoving, flashed again in his mind. It was a vision that he was not going to forget anytime soon. Like the vision of her being swept up into the wraith's beam. To this day, it was one of his recurrent nightmares.
His fingers brushed lightly against her skin, a reminder of her presence next to him, alive and well « I don't remember winning this time either », he said gloomily. He sighed and shook his head « I don't know what the hell is the matter with you, people ». Avrid frowned « I don't understand ».
Anger flared up and John had to count to ten before addressing him again « I'm talking about letting us stand alone against that thing ».
« Violence is not the path of ascension », Avrid answered.
John was getting frustrated now « there's a difference between violence and self defence ».
« We are very close to ascension, John. All of us. If we leave the path, it may be lost to us forever ».
John was aware of Teyla's fingers tightening around his forearm. He stayed quiet.
« We understand the line of conduct you have to preserve in order to ascend » she told Avrid, her soft voice soothing John's spirit. « But perhaps some of you have abilities that can overcome the beast in a peaceful way ? »
Avrid and Teira exchanged a thoughtful look. Teyla had made a point, here. What if the beast was linked somehow to their journey ? It definitly was not mortal. A warm feeling rushed suddenly through his body. Teyla was the voice of reason, the true brain of his team. Not that McKay would agree with that.
He smiled at her, drowning into her brown eyes. God, he loved that woman. Realisation hit him. All these years repressing his feelings, refusing to act on it... He couldn't do it anymore. True, he was the commanding officer of the base. He had responsabilities. His line of conduct had to be irreproachable. The IOA was breathing down his neck, waiting for him to make a mistake. But he had enough of it. Teyla was a member of his team but she was not military. And starting a romantic relationship with her would not change the way he ran the city.
Bates had been right about John's feelings, though he had not understood the true bound between them. His feelings for her did not cloud his judgment. It was not blind faith, it was trust. Unwavering trust. He was ready to sacrifice himself for her, as for any member of his team. They were family. And Teyla was not any woman, she was also a leader with a high sense of duty. She could protect herself and hold her own in a fight. She was a warrior, she knew the meaning of sacrifice. All his life, he had been running away... from his father, from his mariage, from his responsabilities. It was time to embrace it. His life here in the Pegasus galaxy was not perfect but it was home.
Someone cleared his throat and he realised that he was still staring at Teyla « We'll leave you now, you need to rest » said Avrid quickly, before heading to the door. Teira followed her brother, glancing briefly at Teyla with an indefinable expression. Teyla noticed it too. Her cheeks were flushed and she seemed to avoid eye contact with him. Did he embarrass her ? And all of a sudden, his doubts resurfaced. What if she did not love him ? What if he had been mistaken ? He had to be sure that she felt the same way because once he crossed the line, they would not be able to go back and pretend that nothing happened.
He let go of her arm and gave her some space « Hey Hetta » he said before the little girl could leave. She stopped on the threshold and turned around. « Is it too late for tea ? » he asked, smiling at her. Hetta beamed with pleasure, her eyes sparkling « Are you sure ? » she asked, « Avrid said you must rest ». John waved her worry aside « I feel fine... thanks to you », he added. The little girl smiled at him and turned around « I'll go fetch Nalla ! » she said, rushing down the stairs.
Getting up, John searched for his pants and shirt « I don't know what's wrong with these people, undressing us every time we lose consciousness » he said to Teyla, noticing she was also dressed in a white gown. She laughed, getting up as well. John chose new clothes, certain that his old shirt had been ripped off during the fight. He could still feel the beast's claws digging into his skin. Not a pleasant experience, he thought. That thing would not die. They had tried everything and they were running out of options. Soon enough, the people of the village would ascend and there would be no one to heal them. They didn't stand a chance againt that beast. Hopefully, Teyla was right and the beast was linked somehow to ascension. But he couldn't wait for the next confrontation, he couldn't risk Teyla's life again.
An idea was forming in his head and while putting on a new pair of pants, his back to Teyla, he shared his plan with her « I'll go back to the portal tomorrow. Maybe McKay has left something for us. Instructions for a way back home... one can dream » he said with sarcasm.
« When do we leave ? » Teyla asked immediatly. John sighed. He knew she would say that. Of course, she was willing to come with him. But she had to stay in the camp. At least, Hetta could heal her if the beast attacked again. Because he knew that convincing Teyla not to fight against it was pointless. She would not hide from it.
« You're not coming with me » he told her, using his commanding officer's voice. He knew she would not be fooled but he had to try at least. Removing his gown, he grabbed his shirt and quickly walked to the door, hoping to cut in on any argument. But Teyla was by his side in a second, one hand on the door, preventing him from leaving.
« John » she warned him. He closed his eyes a brief moment and sighed. « Teyla, this is not negociable ». She leaned closer, staring at him with a defiant look. « Look, I'll only be gone over a day. In the meantime, you stay here ». He returned her intense gaze and they remained quiet, facing eachother in a silent battle. He knew he had lost the argument already but he needed her to understand « You'll be safe here, Teyla » he added, almost pleading.
Her eyes softened, realising his intentions and the real meaning behind his words « But you will not be safe, out there, by yourself » she answered, her voice thick with emotions « we have faced many dangers before... », she added.
« ...and the safety of my team has always been my priority » he interrupted. She smiled « I know ». He saw her hesitate, her eyes drifting to his left, unfocused. She had more to say, he could tell. So he waited. Teyla swallowed, her eyes still fixed on the closed door « we are in his together, John. » she whispered, « don't push me away ».
John's heart skipped a beat. Suddenly overwhelmed by emotions, Teyla's last words sinking deeper into his brain, he realised that he had no reason to doubt her feelings anymore. Deep down, that little voice reminded him to stop running, to embrace his life. He had pushed her away without even realising it. But unlike others, she had seen right through him and had refused to be left behind. She was a stunning woman. The bravest. He didn't know if he deserved her, he didn't even know how she could like him. But looking at her now, meeting her eyes again, he knew that he couldn't let her go.
A loud knock on the door startled them both and they jumped apart quickly, realising how close they had been from eachother, personnal space completely overrated. « Teyla, John ! » Hetta screamed cheerfully from the other side of the door « Tea is ready ! ». They smiled at eachother, John's eyes lingering on Teyla's flushed face for a moment, descending on her full lips, then her beautiful neck. He noticed that she was still wearing the white gown. The piece of clothing definitly looked better on her. He looked away before any awkward thoughts could form into his head and cleared his throat.
« Coming » he said, loud enough for Hetta to hear it. He quickly put his shirt on « I'll let you get dressed » he said to Teyla. She nodded, slowly making her way towards her bed. John opened the door and had just time to release a breath before catching Hetta, who was jumping in his arms, Nalla in one hand.
« Aoutch » he said, « aren't you too old for that ? » he asked. « You know, I'm not getting any younger and next time, I may not be able to catch you that fast ». To make a point, he loosened his grip a little before catching the little girl again, making her giggle with delight. He heard Teyla chuckle in the background « Come on, Hetta. It's tea time » he said, stepping through the door. « Teyla will join us in a minute ».
The girl waved at Teyla, behind him « So John » she asked, « I did good, right ? I healed Teyla first, like you told me ». He stopped and winced. Teyla was not supposed to know that. Before she could comment on it, he closed the door and walked down the stairs, Hetta still in his arms « You did good, sweetheart », he told her.
***
« Would you have prefered being trapped here with Rodney ? » Teyla asked, amused, as she swirled her bantos in her hands, waiting for John's next attack. But it didn't come. Instead, he looked at her with a bemused expression « What makes you think that ? », he said. She shrugged « Well, you complain a lot about your 'backside' hiting the ground, lately ».
He made a face « My point was to make you realise that no matter how much time we spar together, you will always beat me ». He moved again, slowly circuling her « I'm certainly not complaining about being trapped here with you » he added with a cocky smile. Teyla bit her lower lip, hiding her smile. John chose that moment to strike, moving swiftly to her right, his left arm leveled with her shoulder, his bantos ready to hit her. She quickly blocked his blow and stepped aside just in time to avoid his other bantos from hitting her leg. He was getting very good at it.
« In fact » John continued, « I think I would have gone completely insane, trapped here with him ». Teyla smiled. Despite their constant bickering, she knew John and Rodney were good friends. But she had to admit that it would have been a challenge to put up with the scientist all day long for such a long period of time. With John, life was easy. She couldn't believe that almost six months had passed. They did get along very well, she thought. They had never been separated more than 24 hours and never had a fight. Granted, there was not much to fight about, surrounded by nature and peaceful villagers. Nevertheless, she felt safe with him. And happy.
John moved again, this time attacking her left side. Distracted by her thoughts, she barely avoided his blow, diving at the last moment. He frowned but remained silent. Annoyed at herself for being so easily distracted, she took a step back and concentrated on her next move.
« Don't you miss him ? » she teased. Not waiting for his answer, she launched at him and stroke his right arm, his bantos flying away. She swirled around him, hitting his right leg. His knee bent down and he lost his balance. Falling down, he reached behind and trapped her legs within his arm, bringing her with him.
Surprised, she lost her balance as well and suddenly, John was twisting and her back hit the ground. Before she could crawl out of his reach, John was on her, pinning her down with his body. Breathing heavily, she layed still, waiting for his next move. His clouded eyes met hers, sending shivers all over her body.
« Not as much as I would have missed you » he whispered, huskily. Confused, she stared at him with a questionning look. Then her brain finally resurfaced and she realised that he was answering her previous question. Warmth rose to her cheeks. Her eyes drifted to his smiling lips, merely inches from hers.
Then without warning, his weight lifted from her body, his warmth leaving her skin. He slowly rose to his feet and offered assistance. Her heart still pounding in her chest, she took his hands and let him support her weight as she stood up as well. « I won » John said, his eyes sparkling.
She narrowed her eyes, tilting her head to one side « You cheated ». John's smile widened. He was slightly out of breath but apart from that, he seemed unfazed by the heated moment they just shared. He shrugged « Well in a real fight, you have to use any ressources in order to survive ». He took a step aside, leaning forward « and it seems that 'playing dirty' is the only way I'm gonna win against you ».
She couldn't believe what she just heard. Was John openly flirting with her ? To say that she was shocked was an understatement. Unable to speak (but really, what could she have possibly said after that?), she just stared at him as he leaned over to retrieve their bantos. She let her eyes wander on his muscular body, following his movement as he straightened up. She remembered the weight of his body against hers. She remembered his broad shoulders and his very well defined torso from two days ago, when he was standing so close to her, bare chest.
She swallowed hard, closing her eyes. What had happened to her ? Since when had she become so vulnerable and emotional ? She had noticed the subtle changes in John's behaviour, the constant teasing, the cocky smiles. She had seen the realisation in his eyes when she had begged him not to push her away. Since that moment, a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
Their departure from the camp yesterday morning and their trip to the portal had left no room for romance. They had trekked through the country side at a fast pace. They had been relieved and happy to see that supplies had been sent to them through the portal. It meant that their friends were still looking for them and had not given up.
She turned on her heels, walking to the fence where she had left her towel. She needed some space to regain her composure. She was not avoiding him, she told herself. Not really... She grabbed the fabric and wiped away the sweat from her face, her back leaning against the fence. She did not deny her feelings for him, this man was driving her crazy in every way and that was what was scaring her. She had never been that... smitten with someone. She was completely and desperately in love with him. She smiled sheepishly at her own revelation.
« What are you smiling about ? » John asked suddenly, startling her. Lost in her thoughts, she had not noticed his approach. She watched him lower his body to the bowl of water in front of him. He splashed his face with it, doplets of water cascading on his handsome figure. Still grinning, she shook her head « Nothing », she lied.
John's eyebrow rose suspiciously as he walked towards her « Don't tell me you think about McKay ? » he told her with a heavy sigh. She chuckled at his melodramatic reaction « No » she said simply. Fidgeting with the fabric in her hands, she risked a glance at her partner who was reaching for his own towel, to her right.
« Do you think about Ronon ? » he teased. She bit on her lower lip, well aware of John's intentions now. She was very grateful for the light tone though, his charming personality making her at ease. « No » she said, smiling in anticipation.
From the corner of her eye, she could see him taking a step closer, one hand on the fence. She could almost feel the warmth of his fingers near her bare arms. « Do you think about me ? » his voice was lower than usual and it caught her attention. She turned her head and met his intense gaze. Her heart melted instantly.
« Maybe » she whispered, her emotions on display. His eyes fell on her lips, making his intention clear. Then his fingers lightly brushed her cheek, his thumb lingering on her lower lip. Overwhelmed, Teyla sighed and closed her eyes. She felt his warm hand on her neck, then his lips brushed against hers, silently waiting for her approuval.
She pressed her lips to his without hesitation, turning in his embrace. She felt his right hand on her waist, bringing her closer to him. She complied happily and leaned further against John's chest, her hands gripping his shirt. He deepened the kiss, his tongue pushing into her mouth and her world crumbled into pieces. She was not used to public displays of affection, the ways of her people were different. But right now, she didn't care. And John's lips on hers were an absolute bliss. She sighed with contentement, any resistance gone. His grip on her neck tightened, pouring all his feelings into his kiss. Two years denying their feelings, finally throwing caution to the wind.
She did not know how much time had passed but eventually, John pulled away from her and she realised that she was out of breath. Her eyelids were heavy. She felt his thumb carressing her cheek and she opened her eyes. He was standing so close to her, his lips only inches away from her, tempting her again.
His soft smile reached his eyes and she had no choice but to fall in love with him, all over again. How could they have buried their feelings for so long ? It was so obvious now. « You're okay ? » he asked, his deep voice bringing her to heaven. She nodded. « Was I out of line ? » he was suddenly hesitant and she realised that he might have misinterpreted her silence. Eager to reassure him, she shook her head and smiled « You were not ». She saw the relief on his face and felt bad for leading him to believe that she did not reciprocate his feelings. Knowing John, it must have been hard to take that step forward. It was very brave.
Releasing the grip she had on his shirt, she leaned further into his embrace and put her arms around his neck. John was very tall and she had to stand on tiptoe. One of his arms grabbed her waist and solidly maintained her close to him, while the other wrapped up around her back, slowly ascending and finally reaching its destination, his strong hand strocking the base of her neck. She shivered feverishly, closing her eyes and greating John in the Athosian way. He responded to her immediatly and bowed down, their forehead touching.
Images of their first encounter suddendly resurfaced. His charming smile. His intense gaze boring into hers. The gentle touch of his fingers as he replaced the necklace around her neck. Their forehead touching in a similar way on the balconies of Atlantis, cementing the begining of a new friendship between two people from different galaxies.
She sighed heavily. What were the odds of falling in love with a descendant of the ancesters ? She felt John's warm lips on her temple and leaned into his kiss. She couldn't stop smiling. It felt so surreal and yet, here she was, wrapped up in the arms of this wonderful man, fiercely clutching at him.
« Is this a dream ? » he whispered into her ear, « because if it is, I don't want to wake up ever again ». She laughed happily, moving apart just enough to look at him. She took a moment to study his handsome face, her eyes following the line of his jaw, stopping on his smiling lips for a fraction of a second, before meeting his sparkling eyes. Again, memory of their first encounter flashed through her fuzzy mind. Both standing inches apart in that dark cave, staring at eachother, the torch lightening his mesmerizing eyes. She wondered if he remembered that moment as vividly as she did.
« Well » John said, « I guess now would be a good time to tell you how madly in love I am with you ». Unable (and unwilling) to take her eyes off him, she just nodded and smiled. John smiled back and nodded, mimicing her reaction, but somewhat thoughtful. « Which leads me to the next question : why me ? ». Teyla laughed, shaking her head. « Seriously, why ? ».
She decided to tease him a little and shrugged « we do not choose who we fall in love with ». John's teeth bit at his lower lip, trying to hide his amusement « I see. Well, lucky you... » he said, ironic. She stared back at him « Yes, lucky me » she whispered, completely serious now. He maintained her gaze with the same intensity. She could tell that he was battling with his emotions and it made her wonder what he saw in her that brought such a powerful reaction.
She had never understood the meaning behind the word 'soulmate'... until she met John. They had a good chemestry, a solid friendship and a mutual admiration for one another. Of course, John was an handsome man and there was an undeniable physical attraction between them. But there was something more, an unbreakable bound, a strong connexion. John told her once that the eyes were the mirror of the soul. He was right and she could see right through him.
« Well, before you consider yourself lucky » John told her, « I should warn you that I'm not very good with relationships ». Teyla smiled « Me neither ». John seemed a little surprised by her revelation. « Ok, so we go with the flow ? See what happens ? ». She nodded. « Because Teyla, I would not forgive myself if I screwed up our relationship. You mean everything to me ». His honesty brought tears to her eyes and she shook her head « You won't ».
John smiled despite his conflicted emotions « If I cross the line someday, you have my permission to kick my ass and put some sense into my disfunctional brain ». Teyla grinned at him. He was always trying to diffuse the tension with humor and it was something she loved about him. « I will », she answered. John made a face « Try not to enjoy it too much, though ».
Teyla didn't let him finish and planted her mouth on his, ending the discussion. She knew it would not be easy to combine their professional life with their private life. But they had always been in love with eachother and had always overcome difficulties. Being in an open relationship would not change anything ; it would even make them stronger.
It took John a few seconds to recover from her sudden behaviour. Then she felt him respond to her, deepening the kiss again, tasting her languorously. She breathed in, surrendering to him.
(End of Part 2)
***
The air was warm, a soft breeze spreading across the meadow, the flowers and wild grass around them waving like water in the ocean, brushing against their skin. Such a beautiful day was inviting to laziness. Once midday lunch over, they had left their hosts in a hurry, politly declining their offer to join them in meditation. John had quickly made an excuse, pretending to 'go check the perimeters' in case the beast would show up. He was getting very good at finding excuses, Teyla thought with amusement. Anything to avoid hours of inactivity and contemplation in complete silence.
She turned her head to her right, smiling at her friend lying next to her among the wild flowers of the meadow, looking at the sky above them with such intensity that she suspected she knew what was on his mind. He had been quiet for far too long now, which was very unusual of him. She studied his handsome features for a moment, allowing her eyes to wander briefly from his eyes, to his lips, following the line of his jaw. His beard had grown over the last weeks, changing his appearence slightly. He seemed comfortable enough, chewing on a wisp of straw. But she knew he was thinking about Atlantis.
They had discussed their situation countless of times, trying to understand why their rescue was so delayed. Rodney surely would have found a way to disable the forceshield. Unless something happened to him and Ronon on the other side. So many questions were running in their heads, worried thoughts for their friends and frustration for being trapped here, unable to find a way out of this place. Had Dr.Weir informed her people of her disappearance ? Her thoughts drifted to Halling and Jinto, she closed her eyes and focused on their faces, their smiles. With Charin, they were the closest thing to a family, her mother and father gone, lost to the wraith. She sighed, emotions overwelming her.
« Hey » John's deep voice broke the silence, startling her. She opened her eyes and found his gaze. « It's gonna be alright » he reassured her, « Rodney was able to detect the presence of the forceshield, he will find a way to deactivate it ». She smiled at him and nodded, before returning her eyes to the sky, feeling the breeze tickling her skin again.
« What kind of mag... ». She paused midsentence, before continuing « Science... what kind of science can let the sun beams and the air pass through the shield while keeping us trapped inside ? ». It was a rethorical question but she would have expected John to comment on it. He was silent though. Frowning, she turned her head in his direction again. Surprisingly, he was smiling and his eyes had an extra twinkle in it. She narrowed her eyes at him with suspicion « What ? » she asked.
Still smiling, he returned his attention on the sky above them and drew a deep breath before answering her « You almost said the 'M' word » he teased, « the word that can not be named... the word Rodney has forbidden us to say... ever ! » he added dramatically.
Teyla chuckled, unable to control her laugher « Well, my people call it magic, you call it science. I believe both can be true ». His smile grew wider and he nodded. She knew he was not the one to convince but she felt the need to explain herself « Your people have great skills. Your science is impressive and quite fascinating ». She looked at the sky again « Nevertheless, I think there is always a part of magic surrounding us. The birds flying so elegantly in the air and defying gravity... the clouds flotting peacefully above us, carried away by the wind... these little things are magic ». She smiled, imagining Rodney next to her, lecturing her on the logic of science. « But Rodney made us 'pinky swear', right ? » she teased, « he would not be pleased to hear about it ».
She could hear the smile in John's voice, as he answered her « What Rodney doesn't know, won't hurt him. And I won't repeat what you told me, I promise ». They fell into comfortable silence and she closed her eyes, embracing the quiet moment and focusing on the warmth of the breeze on her face. After what felt like a few minutes, John's voice raised loudly next to her « Magic is real, science is overrated ! Did you hear me McKay ? Now, prove me wrong and get your sorry ass over here, asap ! ».
Teyla laughed happily, surprisingly nostalgic of John and Rodney's constant bickering. « It's worth a try » John added, his arm brushing against hers as he shifted his position next to her. The movement catched her attention and she turned her head towards him again. She saw him throwing the wisp of straw away, lost in the contemplation of the trees nearby. Her eyes wandered again on his face, slowly descending, admiring the strong muscles of his neck. Her guard down, her mind completely at ease, she allowed herself to stare at him a little longer. Her eyes traveled back to his face, lingering on his lips a brief moment before she realised that his attention was focused on her now, facing her with a questionning look. She understood too late that she had been caught staring at him. This place had softened her, the domestic life and inactivity had put her barriers down and it seemed difficult to keep her emotions and feelings at bay lately.
« The beard is interesting » she told him as a way of explanation, hoping it would be a logical enough answer as to why she was staring at him. John winced immediatly, his hand strocking his jaw briefly « Yeah well, it has to go. It's itchy. The only problem is that there is no mirror here. I saw Avrid shaving his buddy the other day but the man is kind of clumsy. I don't want to end up like one of Picasso's portraits ».
Teyla smiled, despite the earth's reference that she couldn't quite understand « I could shave you, if you would like » she offered. John stared at her intensly, considering her proposal. « I have shaved my father and Halling a couple of times » she added, letting him know that she had enough experience and would unlikely hurt him.
He grinned at her, his eyes sparkling, and she found herself staring at him again « That would be great, thanks ». His smile was contagious and she could not help but grin back at him. They laid still, staring at eachother and for a moment, she forgot about Atlantis, her people, the cloister. Everything evaporated, the trees behind John faded away, her sole focus on the handsome man in front of her. Her friend and her partner, whom she trusted with her life. A man that came to her home through the stars two years ago, a descendent of the ancesters from a distant galaxy. She had never believed in destiny, too preoccupied by the safety of her people, under the constant threat of the wraith. But that night on Athos had changed everything.
John and his people had brought new hope to the stars. They had the spirits of explorers and hearts of warriors. They had not hesitated to board the enemy's ship to rescue their own soldiers and her people. She had thought she would die on that ship, her soul and energy drained from her at the hands of unspeakable monsters. Like her mother and father before her.
But John had not given up on them. Dr Weir had told her that they had argued about the mission. That he was the one that convinced her to send a rescue team. She also had told her that he was the only one standing for her when everyone else suspected her to be a traitor, arguing loudly with Sergent Bates and refusing categorically that possibility. He had too much faith in her, sometimes it frightened her. No one had fought for her before. She was usually the one that stood up for her people and their beliefs.
Suddendly overwhelmed by her emotions, she forced herself to break their connexion and looked away, trying to regain some composure. She could feel his worried eyes on her and his voice was soft when he spoke again « You okay ? » he whispered. She simply nodded, not trusting her voice right now.
Silence fell upon them. It was so quiet here. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on her breathing, chastising herself for being so emotional. She felt his hand on hers, silently comforting her, no doubt oblivious to the effect he had on her. His thumb lightly brushed the back of her hand. She so desperately wanted to turn and snuggle up in his arms, breathing in his masculine sent. Instead, she squeezed his hand, holding him a little bit longer before they would have to leave. « I am fine » she offered weakly, « I have faith in Rodney ».
John groaned « Please don't tell him that or we'll never hear the end of it ». Teyla chuckled. John always found the right words to lift her spirits. His humor always served them well on missions, helping to diffuse the tensions. Memories of their first meeting resurfaced and she grinned, remembering his words... and his smile.
Lying down next to him, alone and away from any civilisation and distraction, was very dangerous. She mustered up all her willpower to change her focus and sat up, letting go of his hand. They had to go back to the cloister and join the others. Their meditation should be over by now. She glanced at John, still lying next to her, showing no intention to get up. She lifted an eyebrow at him, silently questionning him « Let's get rid of that beard », she said.
With a loud and almost desperate sigh, he stood up. She took the hand he offered and stood up as well, relief and disappointment dueling inside her troubled mind. They slowly made their way back to the camp, conversation drifting to their new friends and their solid focus on ascension.
« How can you devote you entire time to meditation and pass up living your life ? » John asked, doubtful. He was a pragmatic man and he strongly believed that life was too short and you had to make the most of it. She shared his conviction. However, she understood the appeal of ascension and the desire to follow the path of the ancesters, reaching an other plan of existence.
« You have to understand that the actions of the ancesters have impacted our lives, here in this galaxy. The myth of the old city of Atlantis and ascension have been imprinted on our culture for many generations. The fear of the wraith and the promise of a better life, free from the constant threat of the enemy is appealing ».
John remained silent for a minute « Well, when you put it that way... I guess I can understand ». They were walking through the forest now, the meadow disappearing from view. The trees were slowing them down, forcing them to get closer to eachother, leaving almost no space between them. « And it's not like they don't enjoy life » he admitted.
« Of course » she added, « living simply does not necessary mean that you don't value life or enjoy it ». John chuckled by her side and she had to incline her head slightly to look up at him « What is it ? » she asked. Glancing briefly at her, he cleared his throat, suddenly uncomfortable « Hum, nothing ».
Teyla maintained her focus on him. Sensing her eyes on him, he finally gave up « It's just that... well, I think Teira is into me ». Surprised, Teyla stayed quiet for a brief moment, not sure how to respond to such a disturbing news. She decided to keep the conversation light « Oh really ? Your charming personality has operated again. Rodney must be right then, always comparing you to this... M. Kirk ? ».
John winced painfully, the reference always making him uncomfortable « Mock me but the other day, while we were talking about... » he gestured around him, his arm brushing against hers, « … this exciting and appealing life of meditation... ». Teyla smiled at him, amused. « well » he continued, « she looked directly at me and said in that sexy and yet scary voice... 'life here is not entirely without pleasure' ».
Teyla frowned and stared at the horizon in front of her. She knew John's handsome figure catched the eye of women. And she had seen Teira glancing at him on occasion. But she had not expected her to be so forward with John. Maybe unconsciously, she selfishly thought that her constant presence by his side and their sleeping arrangements would discourage any flirtation among the females of the group. Also, she had always assumed that these people had no other focus than meditation. Obviously, she was wrong.
She tried to keep her tone light, as she spoke « Very scary, indeed ». She paused a few seconds, before commenting honestly « well, she is a beautiful woman ». She waited his answer, wondering if he entertained the idea of sharing a bed with Teira. After all, she had no right to judge him or interfer in his love life. Despite their strong chemestry and their tight friendship, they had not expressed their true feelings to eachother. Some times, she could feel his intense gaze on her, she could hear the flirtatious tone in his voice when addressing her. She had felt the tension between them right from the start. And yet, he had never said anything that could lead her to believe that he was attracted to her. She understood he was in a difficult position, as the military leader of Atlantis. Their life was complicated and dangerous and they did not have the luxury or time to start a relationship.
Suddenly realising that John had been awefully quiet, she glanced at him, only to notice that he was staring at her. Having now her full attention, he answered « she's not the only beautiful woman on this planet ». John's peering eyes burned her skin and she could feel her cheeks flushing with the compliment. She offered him a small smile of gratitude and looked away, not entirely sure how to interprete his words. Maybe she was reading too much into it. After all, he often seemed oblivious to his natural charm and the effect he had on people... women mostly.
Relief hit her as they reached the edge of the forest and the first cabins came into view. « I will draw water from the well » she said hurriedly, walking in its direction with long strides.
« And I'll talk to Avrid, see if I can borrow his knife, rasor... whatever it is... » he added with suspicion, « I'll meet you outside our cabin in a few ».
Teyla nodded « Very well ». They separated and she walked further into the cloister, towards the main area where people were usually gathering. Hetta was running to her with excitement and Teyla smiled down at the little girl with genuine affection. It was refreshing to have a child in the camp. Hetta reminded her of Jinto. So much energy and innocence.
« Hello Teyla ! » she almost screamed with delight. « Where have you been ? I've been looking for you ! I want to show you the new dress my sister has made for my doll... ». She stopped suddenly and frowned « Where is John ? ». Teyla smiled. The little girl had also fallen under the charm of her partner. Very platonic crush, of course. She enjoyed John's stories and his constant teasing. He was very good with children.
« He is on his way, do not worry ». Teyla kneeled in front of the little girl. « Let me have a look at Nalla(1) » she said, admiring the doll. « What a beautiful dress ! It is very nice, blue as the sky ». Hetta nodded enthusiastically « She is very pretty ! ».
Teyla brushed her fingers on the thin material « When I was your age, I had a doll just like yours. She had long curly brown hair. Except her dress was a bright red.
« What was her name ? » Hetta asked, curious, « Do you still have her ? ».
Teyla's thoughts drifted back to her youth and the memory of a particulary grim day where she and her father had been visiting a planet for a trade and had merely escaped a wraith attack, leaving the doll behind. The violence of the attack and the loss of her favorite doll had been such a shock to her that she had been inconsolable for days afterwards « I have lost her a long time ago » she told her with sadness, « her name was Zabetha1) ».
Hetta nodded her understanding « It is a pretty name », she said. She looked down at her doll and stared at it with a deep frown. « What is it ? » Teyla asked. The little girl lifted her eyes to her in a silent prayer « Can I ask you a favor ? ». Teyla smiled at her « of course ».
« Well » she began, « Teira told me that I would have to leave Nalla behind once we reach ascension ». She hold her doll tightly to her chest, « I don't want to leave her alone ». Teyla understood that one had to detach itself from material needs in order to ascend. Nonetheless, it was a cruel thing to do to a child. She knew how it felt and she was suddenly overwhelmed. She ran a hand in Hetta's hair, aware that for the second time today, she had let her emotions run freely.
« Would you please take care of her while I'm gone ? » Teyla was taken aback and touched by the little girl's question. « It is very brave of you to let her go. I promise that I will take good care of Nalla and I will take her home with me ». Hetta threw herself into Teyla's arms, obviously relieved. « Thank you » she whispered.
Teyla hold her tightly, kissing her hair « You are very welcome » she told her, « I am very proud of you ». Tears were threatening to fall down and she forced her watery eyes to focus on her surroundings. Her eyes fell instantly on John, who was silently watching them. They smiled at eachother and Teyla whispered back at the little girl « Guess who is spying on us, right now ? ».
Hetta let go of Teyla and turned around. Her eyes lit up and she ran towards John. « Hi there » he said, his tone light as he brushed Hetta's hair. « Hello John ! » she extended her arm to show him her doll « Look ! ». He studied it for a few seconds « Waou, I like her new dress, very pretty ».
Hetta beamed « Yes, indeed ! ». She turned around and smiled at Teyla « And I'm not sad anymore because Teyla will take care of her when I join my brother and sister in ascension ». Teyla smiled back at her, glad to have helped lifting such a burden off her little shoulders. She stood up, brushing off dust from her dress with the back of her hand. She sensed John's intense gaze on her again. « She's in good hands, then » he told Hetta with assurance. Teyla smiled, staring back at him.
« I know » the little girl stated with confidence. « So, it is almost tea time. Nalla and I would love to have you both for the occasion ». John broke their eye contact and looked down at Hetta « I would be delighted. Is there something to eat with your tea ? » he asked, then suddendly winced « waou, I heard myself asking for food and I now realise how 'McKay-ish' it sounds ». Teyla chuckled, her spirit lifted, once again.
« There is pie » Hetta continued, ignoring his comment.
« Well, I'm in ! » John said, « but first, Teyla will help me to get rid of that scratchy beard. Do you mind ? It won't be long ». Hetta smiled « Of course. Can I help ?! ». John thought about it for a moment « Sure, you can help me draw water from the well ». She ran past him, still holding her doll close « I'll get the bucket ! ».
Teyla smiled at her enthousiasm « She has so much energy, pray that she does not ask to shave you », she teased. John winced.
« Speaking of... have you borrowed the torture device ? » she asked. With an exagerated bow, he offered her the sharp rasor and the equivalent of a shaving foam. « Very well. I'll let you catch up with Hetta, then ». he smiled at her, before turning around and walking away. She watched him leave, her eyes lingering on him for a moment.
***
Meditation had not been satisfying today. That unsettling sensation had returned, the impression that the future was changing, escaping her grasp. She had been so confident in her abilities, certain of her visions. But now, her mind was troubled and filled with doubt.
Since she was a child, she had been able to see images of the futur and she had prepared for that day to come. She could close her eyes and see John's face, the one that would lead her and her fellow companions to ascension. The one that would ascend by her side.
She could still see them all ascend, it was only a matter of time. John would defeat the beast, she was certain of it. Yet, some details had blurred as the months went by and she could not ignore anymore the new images that were flowding towards her, a new perspective that she had not predicted.
Funny how one tiny detail could change the futur. The unexpected presence of one person could change 'her' futur. Because if she was honest with herself, she had known from the moment Teyla had appeared at John's side, that her visions had been altered.
Teira sighed, allowing the sadness to overwhelm her heart, knowing that she had to accept that change in order to ascend. Regrets would lead her nowhere, she had to move on. Walking silently to the cloister, her brother by her side, she could see now that he was right. He had witnessed the great chemestry between their new hosts, he had warned her but she would not listen.
As she joined the others and sat down at the table, Teira's eyes drifted to the entrance of John and Teyla's cabin and suddenly, all came into place and her visions cleared. « Teira, are you alright ? » her brother asked, concern in his voice. She glanced at him briefly before returning her attention on John and Teyla, both facing eachother on the last step of the stairs.
« You were right » she told him, as she watched Teyla wipe the shaving foam away from John's face, her fingers lingering on his jaw. He didn't move out of her touch. Even from the distance, Teira could feel the tension between them. John's beautiful eyes solely focused on Teyla, staring at her with such intensity that no doubt persisted in Teira's mind.
She felt her brother's comforting hand on her back « I know », he said softly. She didn't need to say more, he understood. She looked at him and smiled reassuringly, kowing that he had seen her troubled soul. « I'm sorry Teira ». She shook her head, returning her gaze on the couple. « It's alright, Avrid. I can not let my feelings get in the way of ascension ». She stayed quiet a moment, focusing on the new images forming in her mind « and I certainly won't get in the way of their true destiny ».
From the corner of her eye, she could see Avrid nod at her comment. Teira then returned her attention on the couple and saw Hetta running towards them, gripping John's shirt tightly and studying his face intensely, no doubt checking Teyla's good work. She seemed satisfied and giggled happily.
Teira smiled at her sister's innocent intrusion, completely oblivious to the quiet and romantic moment shared by their guests. But they didn't seem to mind the interruption. John lifted his hand to his face, glancing briefly at Teyla before leaning towards Hetta with a conspiratorial wink. He asked her a question, it seemed, because Hetta giggled again and shook her head vigorously.
« Hetta has developped a deep affection for our new friends » Avrid told her, having also witnessed the exchange. « She has indeed » she said, « she told me that Teyla would take care of Nalla when she ascends ». Her brother grinned « I see now that her mind is at rest. I noticed before that a little part of her soul was veiled, I assumed that she was missing our parents ». He paused, lost in thought « Teyla has a good heart », he added.
Teira smiled at her brother. He had always been the wisest, ever since their childwood. She didn't know what life would be after ascension but she would certainly miss their quiet conversations. Sadness overwhelmed her. She knew ascension was near. A new journey was ahead of them, exciting but unknown.
Her chest felt heavy suddenly and a loud growl echoed in the camp. She froze a second, then stood up and quickly walked to her little sister. Hetta was in John's arms. They met in the center of the cloister. « It is very close » she stated, worried. She noticed the change in John and Teyla's behaviour. They stood still, in alert, ready to fight.
« It's here » John said. Teira shook her head « but it's never come inside the cloister ». She looked at her sister, her little arms clutching at John's shirt « I'm scared » she said, her eyes filled with tears. John whispered something to her and she nodded in return. He then pushed her in Avrid's arms and took his knife « Take her inside », he ordered. She left his side and rushed towards her cabin, followed by her companions. The growl echoed again, menacing and frightening. John and Teyla stood side by side, knife in hand, ready to face the beast.
« Okay people, we're starting to develop some serious abandonnement issues here ! », he said out loud. Teira felt guilty. They were risking their lives to defend her people. Being by their side was the least she could do, even if it scared her. Without further thought, she opened the door and ran towards them, stopping a few feet behind John. He noticed her and nodded « Well, now there's three of us... » he said with irony.
The beast suddenly appeared, huge and cloaked in an almost invisible mantle. Teira saw Teyla and John running towards it without a moment of hesitation. Frozen, she could only watch them fighting the beast, skilled and focused but inevitably loosing the battle.
Teyla was suddenly knocked out violently and fell on the ground, unconscious. John was by her side in an instant and covered her body with his as the beast attacked again. Teira saw, powerless, the invisible claws latching onto John's back, toring his shirt apart.
« No ! » she screamed, finally moving. « Stop ! ». She was running now towards the beast, stopping only a moment to take the knife that had flown away from Teyla's grasp. John was not moving, neither Teyla. Teira returned her attention on the monster and prayed the ancesters to help her. She lifted a trembling hand in front of her, the knife's blade reflecting the light of the sun, blinding her vision.
Then the beast disappeared. All became quiet. Teira wondered if she had dreamed his moment. Then voices and hurried steps brought her back to reality. She let go of her knife and turned around slowly. Her brother was running towards her, worry showing on his face.
« I am all right » she told him before he could ask. Her eyes fell on Teyla and John « Carry them to their cabin, I'll go get Hetta ».
***
He heard voices in the far distance whispering to him. One in particular sounded familiar. Like a soft breeze carressing his skin. He frowned, trying to concentrate on the voice and fight against the darkness around him. Where was he ? Something had happened in Atlantis ? Was he trapped on a wraith's ship ? That thought sent a chill down his spine and he forced his eyes to open.
What he saw had nothing to do with a wraith. She was leaning against him, her brown hair loose over her beautiful face, her eyes filled with worry. She looked like an angel. Suddenly gripped by panic, his heart pounding in this chest, he sat up in his bed and reached for Teyla, his hands framing her face. She sat back a little, startled by his sudden impulse, but she didn't move out of his touch. He remembered their fight vividly now. He had seen Teyla unconscious on the ground, the beast ready to attack her again. He had acted on instinct, covering her body with his.
« John » she whispered, her brown eyes staring back at him. He felt her hand on his forearm and the tension left his body. She was alive. Taking a deep breath, he tried to find his bearings and turned his head to the right, registering a presence next to him.
A quick glance at the place reminded him that he was in his cabin. And stood by the window, Avrid and his sisters were looking at him with bemused faces. Slowly, his hands loosened their grip and he let go of Teyla's face, suddenly aware of his rash action. He couldn't let go of her completely though and his left hand lingered on her arm.
« You're alright, Teyla ? » he asked her. She nodded and smiled « I am fine. How are you feeling ? ». John briefly looked down and noted with relief that every limb of his body was intact. He was sore but fine « I'm alive » he stated. Teyla's hand was still on his forearm. She didn't let go either.
Avrid took a step forward and John finally turned his attention on him. « I've never seen such bravery » he said, « were it not for you, all may have been lost ». Vision of Teyla lying on the ground, unmoving, flashed again in his mind. It was a vision that he was not going to forget anytime soon. Like the vision of her being swept up into the wraith's beam. To this day, it was one of his recurrent nightmares.
His fingers brushed lightly against her skin, a reminder of her presence next to him, alive and well « I don't remember winning this time either », he said gloomily. He sighed and shook his head « I don't know what the hell is the matter with you, people ». Avrid frowned « I don't understand ».
Anger flared up and John had to count to ten before addressing him again « I'm talking about letting us stand alone against that thing ».
« Violence is not the path of ascension », Avrid answered.
John was getting frustrated now « there's a difference between violence and self defence ».
« We are very close to ascension, John. All of us. If we leave the path, it may be lost to us forever ».
John was aware of Teyla's fingers tightening around his forearm. He stayed quiet.
« We understand the line of conduct you have to preserve in order to ascend » she told Avrid, her soft voice soothing John's spirit. « But perhaps some of you have abilities that can overcome the beast in a peaceful way ? »
Avrid and Teira exchanged a thoughtful look. Teyla had made a point, here. What if the beast was linked somehow to their journey ? It definitly was not mortal. A warm feeling rushed suddenly through his body. Teyla was the voice of reason, the true brain of his team. Not that McKay would agree with that.
He smiled at her, drowning into her brown eyes. God, he loved that woman. Realisation hit him. All these years repressing his feelings, refusing to act on it... He couldn't do it anymore. True, he was the commanding officer of the base. He had responsabilities. His line of conduct had to be irreproachable. The IOA was breathing down his neck, waiting for him to make a mistake. But he had enough of it. Teyla was a member of his team but she was not military. And starting a romantic relationship with her would not change the way he ran the city.
Bates had been right about John's feelings, though he had not understood the true bound between them. His feelings for her did not cloud his judgment. It was not blind faith, it was trust. Unwavering trust. He was ready to sacrifice himself for her, as for any member of his team. They were family. And Teyla was not any woman, she was also a leader with a high sense of duty. She could protect herself and hold her own in a fight. She was a warrior, she knew the meaning of sacrifice. All his life, he had been running away... from his father, from his mariage, from his responsabilities. It was time to embrace it. His life here in the Pegasus galaxy was not perfect but it was home.
Someone cleared his throat and he realised that he was still staring at Teyla « We'll leave you now, you need to rest » said Avrid quickly, before heading to the door. Teira followed her brother, glancing briefly at Teyla with an indefinable expression. Teyla noticed it too. Her cheeks were flushed and she seemed to avoid eye contact with him. Did he embarrass her ? And all of a sudden, his doubts resurfaced. What if she did not love him ? What if he had been mistaken ? He had to be sure that she felt the same way because once he crossed the line, they would not be able to go back and pretend that nothing happened.
He let go of her arm and gave her some space « Hey Hetta » he said before the little girl could leave. She stopped on the threshold and turned around. « Is it too late for tea ? » he asked, smiling at her. Hetta beamed with pleasure, her eyes sparkling « Are you sure ? » she asked, « Avrid said you must rest ». John waved her worry aside « I feel fine... thanks to you », he added. The little girl smiled at him and turned around « I'll go fetch Nalla ! » she said, rushing down the stairs.
Getting up, John searched for his pants and shirt « I don't know what's wrong with these people, undressing us every time we lose consciousness » he said to Teyla, noticing she was also dressed in a white gown. She laughed, getting up as well. John chose new clothes, certain that his old shirt had been ripped off during the fight. He could still feel the beast's claws digging into his skin. Not a pleasant experience, he thought. That thing would not die. They had tried everything and they were running out of options. Soon enough, the people of the village would ascend and there would be no one to heal them. They didn't stand a chance againt that beast. Hopefully, Teyla was right and the beast was linked somehow to ascension. But he couldn't wait for the next confrontation, he couldn't risk Teyla's life again.
An idea was forming in his head and while putting on a new pair of pants, his back to Teyla, he shared his plan with her « I'll go back to the portal tomorrow. Maybe McKay has left something for us. Instructions for a way back home... one can dream » he said with sarcasm.
« When do we leave ? » Teyla asked immediatly. John sighed. He knew she would say that. Of course, she was willing to come with him. But she had to stay in the camp. At least, Hetta could heal her if the beast attacked again. Because he knew that convincing Teyla not to fight against it was pointless. She would not hide from it.
« You're not coming with me » he told her, using his commanding officer's voice. He knew she would not be fooled but he had to try at least. Removing his gown, he grabbed his shirt and quickly walked to the door, hoping to cut in on any argument. But Teyla was by his side in a second, one hand on the door, preventing him from leaving.
« John » she warned him. He closed his eyes a brief moment and sighed. « Teyla, this is not negociable ». She leaned closer, staring at him with a defiant look. « Look, I'll only be gone over a day. In the meantime, you stay here ». He returned her intense gaze and they remained quiet, facing eachother in a silent battle. He knew he had lost the argument already but he needed her to understand « You'll be safe here, Teyla » he added, almost pleading.
Her eyes softened, realising his intentions and the real meaning behind his words « But you will not be safe, out there, by yourself » she answered, her voice thick with emotions « we have faced many dangers before... », she added.
« ...and the safety of my team has always been my priority » he interrupted. She smiled « I know ». He saw her hesitate, her eyes drifting to his left, unfocused. She had more to say, he could tell. So he waited. Teyla swallowed, her eyes still fixed on the closed door « we are in his together, John. » she whispered, « don't push me away ».
John's heart skipped a beat. Suddenly overwhelmed by emotions, Teyla's last words sinking deeper into his brain, he realised that he had no reason to doubt her feelings anymore. Deep down, that little voice reminded him to stop running, to embrace his life. He had pushed her away without even realising it. But unlike others, she had seen right through him and had refused to be left behind. She was a stunning woman. The bravest. He didn't know if he deserved her, he didn't even know how she could like him. But looking at her now, meeting her eyes again, he knew that he couldn't let her go.
A loud knock on the door startled them both and they jumped apart quickly, realising how close they had been from eachother, personnal space completely overrated. « Teyla, John ! » Hetta screamed cheerfully from the other side of the door « Tea is ready ! ». They smiled at eachother, John's eyes lingering on Teyla's flushed face for a moment, descending on her full lips, then her beautiful neck. He noticed that she was still wearing the white gown. The piece of clothing definitly looked better on her. He looked away before any awkward thoughts could form into his head and cleared his throat.
« Coming » he said, loud enough for Hetta to hear it. He quickly put his shirt on « I'll let you get dressed » he said to Teyla. She nodded, slowly making her way towards her bed. John opened the door and had just time to release a breath before catching Hetta, who was jumping in his arms, Nalla in one hand.
« Aoutch » he said, « aren't you too old for that ? » he asked. « You know, I'm not getting any younger and next time, I may not be able to catch you that fast ». To make a point, he loosened his grip a little before catching the little girl again, making her giggle with delight. He heard Teyla chuckle in the background « Come on, Hetta. It's tea time » he said, stepping through the door. « Teyla will join us in a minute ».
The girl waved at Teyla, behind him « So John » she asked, « I did good, right ? I healed Teyla first, like you told me ». He stopped and winced. Teyla was not supposed to know that. Before she could comment on it, he closed the door and walked down the stairs, Hetta still in his arms « You did good, sweetheart », he told her.
***
« Would you have prefered being trapped here with Rodney ? » Teyla asked, amused, as she swirled her bantos in her hands, waiting for John's next attack. But it didn't come. Instead, he looked at her with a bemused expression « What makes you think that ? », he said. She shrugged « Well, you complain a lot about your 'backside' hiting the ground, lately ».
He made a face « My point was to make you realise that no matter how much time we spar together, you will always beat me ». He moved again, slowly circuling her « I'm certainly not complaining about being trapped here with you » he added with a cocky smile. Teyla bit her lower lip, hiding her smile. John chose that moment to strike, moving swiftly to her right, his left arm leveled with her shoulder, his bantos ready to hit her. She quickly blocked his blow and stepped aside just in time to avoid his other bantos from hitting her leg. He was getting very good at it.
« In fact » John continued, « I think I would have gone completely insane, trapped here with him ». Teyla smiled. Despite their constant bickering, she knew John and Rodney were good friends. But she had to admit that it would have been a challenge to put up with the scientist all day long for such a long period of time. With John, life was easy. She couldn't believe that almost six months had passed. They did get along very well, she thought. They had never been separated more than 24 hours and never had a fight. Granted, there was not much to fight about, surrounded by nature and peaceful villagers. Nevertheless, she felt safe with him. And happy.
John moved again, this time attacking her left side. Distracted by her thoughts, she barely avoided his blow, diving at the last moment. He frowned but remained silent. Annoyed at herself for being so easily distracted, she took a step back and concentrated on her next move.
« Don't you miss him ? » she teased. Not waiting for his answer, she launched at him and stroke his right arm, his bantos flying away. She swirled around him, hitting his right leg. His knee bent down and he lost his balance. Falling down, he reached behind and trapped her legs within his arm, bringing her with him.
Surprised, she lost her balance as well and suddenly, John was twisting and her back hit the ground. Before she could crawl out of his reach, John was on her, pinning her down with his body. Breathing heavily, she layed still, waiting for his next move. His clouded eyes met hers, sending shivers all over her body.
« Not as much as I would have missed you » he whispered, huskily. Confused, she stared at him with a questionning look. Then her brain finally resurfaced and she realised that he was answering her previous question. Warmth rose to her cheeks. Her eyes drifted to his smiling lips, merely inches from hers.
Then without warning, his weight lifted from her body, his warmth leaving her skin. He slowly rose to his feet and offered assistance. Her heart still pounding in her chest, she took his hands and let him support her weight as she stood up as well. « I won » John said, his eyes sparkling.
She narrowed her eyes, tilting her head to one side « You cheated ». John's smile widened. He was slightly out of breath but apart from that, he seemed unfazed by the heated moment they just shared. He shrugged « Well in a real fight, you have to use any ressources in order to survive ». He took a step aside, leaning forward « and it seems that 'playing dirty' is the only way I'm gonna win against you ».
She couldn't believe what she just heard. Was John openly flirting with her ? To say that she was shocked was an understatement. Unable to speak (but really, what could she have possibly said after that?), she just stared at him as he leaned over to retrieve their bantos. She let her eyes wander on his muscular body, following his movement as he straightened up. She remembered the weight of his body against hers. She remembered his broad shoulders and his very well defined torso from two days ago, when he was standing so close to her, bare chest.
She swallowed hard, closing her eyes. What had happened to her ? Since when had she become so vulnerable and emotional ? She had noticed the subtle changes in John's behaviour, the constant teasing, the cocky smiles. She had seen the realisation in his eyes when she had begged him not to push her away. Since that moment, a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
Their departure from the camp yesterday morning and their trip to the portal had left no room for romance. They had trekked through the country side at a fast pace. They had been relieved and happy to see that supplies had been sent to them through the portal. It meant that their friends were still looking for them and had not given up.
She turned on her heels, walking to the fence where she had left her towel. She needed some space to regain her composure. She was not avoiding him, she told herself. Not really... She grabbed the fabric and wiped away the sweat from her face, her back leaning against the fence. She did not deny her feelings for him, this man was driving her crazy in every way and that was what was scaring her. She had never been that... smitten with someone. She was completely and desperately in love with him. She smiled sheepishly at her own revelation.
« What are you smiling about ? » John asked suddenly, startling her. Lost in her thoughts, she had not noticed his approach. She watched him lower his body to the bowl of water in front of him. He splashed his face with it, doplets of water cascading on his handsome figure. Still grinning, she shook her head « Nothing », she lied.
John's eyebrow rose suspiciously as he walked towards her « Don't tell me you think about McKay ? » he told her with a heavy sigh. She chuckled at his melodramatic reaction « No » she said simply. Fidgeting with the fabric in her hands, she risked a glance at her partner who was reaching for his own towel, to her right.
« Do you think about Ronon ? » he teased. She bit on her lower lip, well aware of John's intentions now. She was very grateful for the light tone though, his charming personality making her at ease. « No » she said, smiling in anticipation.
From the corner of her eye, she could see him taking a step closer, one hand on the fence. She could almost feel the warmth of his fingers near her bare arms. « Do you think about me ? » his voice was lower than usual and it caught her attention. She turned her head and met his intense gaze. Her heart melted instantly.
« Maybe » she whispered, her emotions on display. His eyes fell on her lips, making his intention clear. Then his fingers lightly brushed her cheek, his thumb lingering on her lower lip. Overwhelmed, Teyla sighed and closed her eyes. She felt his warm hand on her neck, then his lips brushed against hers, silently waiting for her approuval.
She pressed her lips to his without hesitation, turning in his embrace. She felt his right hand on her waist, bringing her closer to him. She complied happily and leaned further against John's chest, her hands gripping his shirt. He deepened the kiss, his tongue pushing into her mouth and her world crumbled into pieces. She was not used to public displays of affection, the ways of her people were different. But right now, she didn't care. And John's lips on hers were an absolute bliss. She sighed with contentement, any resistance gone. His grip on her neck tightened, pouring all his feelings into his kiss. Two years denying their feelings, finally throwing caution to the wind.
She did not know how much time had passed but eventually, John pulled away from her and she realised that she was out of breath. Her eyelids were heavy. She felt his thumb carressing her cheek and she opened her eyes. He was standing so close to her, his lips only inches away from her, tempting her again.
His soft smile reached his eyes and she had no choice but to fall in love with him, all over again. How could they have buried their feelings for so long ? It was so obvious now. « You're okay ? » he asked, his deep voice bringing her to heaven. She nodded. « Was I out of line ? » he was suddenly hesitant and she realised that he might have misinterpreted her silence. Eager to reassure him, she shook her head and smiled « You were not ». She saw the relief on his face and felt bad for leading him to believe that she did not reciprocate his feelings. Knowing John, it must have been hard to take that step forward. It was very brave.
Releasing the grip she had on his shirt, she leaned further into his embrace and put her arms around his neck. John was very tall and she had to stand on tiptoe. One of his arms grabbed her waist and solidly maintained her close to him, while the other wrapped up around her back, slowly ascending and finally reaching its destination, his strong hand strocking the base of her neck. She shivered feverishly, closing her eyes and greating John in the Athosian way. He responded to her immediatly and bowed down, their forehead touching.
Images of their first encounter suddendly resurfaced. His charming smile. His intense gaze boring into hers. The gentle touch of his fingers as he replaced the necklace around her neck. Their forehead touching in a similar way on the balconies of Atlantis, cementing the begining of a new friendship between two people from different galaxies.
She sighed heavily. What were the odds of falling in love with a descendant of the ancesters ? She felt John's warm lips on her temple and leaned into his kiss. She couldn't stop smiling. It felt so surreal and yet, here she was, wrapped up in the arms of this wonderful man, fiercely clutching at him.
« Is this a dream ? » he whispered into her ear, « because if it is, I don't want to wake up ever again ». She laughed happily, moving apart just enough to look at him. She took a moment to study his handsome face, her eyes following the line of his jaw, stopping on his smiling lips for a fraction of a second, before meeting his sparkling eyes. Again, memory of their first encounter flashed through her fuzzy mind. Both standing inches apart in that dark cave, staring at eachother, the torch lightening his mesmerizing eyes. She wondered if he remembered that moment as vividly as she did.
« Well » John said, « I guess now would be a good time to tell you how madly in love I am with you ». Unable (and unwilling) to take her eyes off him, she just nodded and smiled. John smiled back and nodded, mimicing her reaction, but somewhat thoughtful. « Which leads me to the next question : why me ? ». Teyla laughed, shaking her head. « Seriously, why ? ».
She decided to tease him a little and shrugged « we do not choose who we fall in love with ». John's teeth bit at his lower lip, trying to hide his amusement « I see. Well, lucky you... » he said, ironic. She stared back at him « Yes, lucky me » she whispered, completely serious now. He maintained her gaze with the same intensity. She could tell that he was battling with his emotions and it made her wonder what he saw in her that brought such a powerful reaction.
She had never understood the meaning behind the word 'soulmate'... until she met John. They had a good chemestry, a solid friendship and a mutual admiration for one another. Of course, John was an handsome man and there was an undeniable physical attraction between them. But there was something more, an unbreakable bound, a strong connexion. John told her once that the eyes were the mirror of the soul. He was right and she could see right through him.
« Well, before you consider yourself lucky » John told her, « I should warn you that I'm not very good with relationships ». Teyla smiled « Me neither ». John seemed a little surprised by her revelation. « Ok, so we go with the flow ? See what happens ? ». She nodded. « Because Teyla, I would not forgive myself if I screwed up our relationship. You mean everything to me ». His honesty brought tears to her eyes and she shook her head « You won't ».
John smiled despite his conflicted emotions « If I cross the line someday, you have my permission to kick my ass and put some sense into my disfunctional brain ». Teyla grinned at him. He was always trying to diffuse the tension with humor and it was something she loved about him. « I will », she answered. John made a face « Try not to enjoy it too much, though ».
Teyla didn't let him finish and planted her mouth on his, ending the discussion. She knew it would not be easy to combine their professional life with their private life. But they had always been in love with eachother and had always overcome difficulties. Being in an open relationship would not change anything ; it would even make them stronger.
It took John a few seconds to recover from her sudden behaviour. Then she felt him respond to her, deepening the kiss again, tasting her languorously. She breathed in, surrendering to him.
(End of Part 2)