Getting there (2/2)

Oct 31, 2008 10:27

Hello! Here's the second part of my fic. You can find the first one here. I hope you'll enjoy reading the text as much as I enjoyed writing it. And remember that comments are love, so tell me what you think! :)
I'd also like to thank my lovely beta, gglover16. Darling, you rock! :)

Title: Getting there (part 2 of 2)
Pairing: Nate/Jenny
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to 2x07
Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own Gossip Girl. ;)
Word count: 1359


Getting there - Part 2

When she comes back home, it's already dark and that fits her mood perfectly right now. Jenny is glad that this week is almost over - it's been the worst one she has had in months. She is tired, hungry, unhappy, and maybe a little bit angry, but she cannot exactly figure out what or whom she is angry at.

The loft is dark and empty, and Jenny remembers that Dan is staying at Serena’s (they are together again, but Jenny isn’t sure how long this is going to last this time; their breakups and reunions seem to be as inevitable as the seasons changing) and her dad is going to spend the whole night at the gallery, working on some new project.

She does not bother to turn on the light in the living room, but throws herself on the couch to sit down for a while. When a while turns into half an hour, she hears somebody unlocking the door and hopes that - whoever it is (Dan returning home after a fight with Serena, dad who forgot to take something on his way out or Nate coming back from God knows where) - she will be left alone.

Sharp light blinds her for a moment and when her eyes finally stop running, Jenny sees Nate, who looks at her with puzzled expression on his face.

“Hey,” he says, dropping his bag on the floor, “is everything okay? Jenny?”

“Everything’s fine, Nate. I’m just tired”, she sighs, her shoulders slightly hunched.

“Are you sure? You look pretty depressed.”

Jenny glances at Nate for a brief moment, then drops her head, staring at her own shoes.

“It’s just that I’ve had this really terrible week,” she says in a weak voice, “and I’m so happy that it’s finally the weekend, but I’m so exhausted at the same time that I can’t force myself to enjoy it, you know? And I came home, like, a half an hour ago, and I’m hungry, but I just kept sitting there, ‘cause I can’t bring myself to stand up and grab something to eat.”

“Jenny,” Nate sits on the couch next to her, “you know you don’t have to work your ass off. You cannot, keep on doing this you’ll end up a wreck. Hey, look at me”, he says, cupping her chin and tilting it up a little, forcing her to look him in the eyes. “You really need to rest.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

She feels like crying, for a reason she cannot really comprehend, and Nate does not make this any easier for her. All Jenny wants at this moment is a pillow and her own bed that she can curl up on and let these hot tears that are burning her eyes flow.

“Hey, how about you take a shower and I’ll make us some chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, and then we can watch a movie. Just let me find that ‘Gone with the Wind’ DVD.” Nate’s voice is quiet, soothing, there’s a smile on his lips - he actually cares and this is so sweet of him that Jenny blinks furiously to make the tears go away.

“I’ll be back in twenty,” she mutters, hurrying to the bathroom. There, hidden in the shower, she eventually relaxes and this irresistible urge to burst into tears finally disappears. Jenny has no clue why she acted like that - apart from being exhausted, of course. Obviously, this is a perfectly reasonable excuse, but Jenny knows that there’s more to it; and if weren’t it for Nate, she might have actually avoided this short, unexpected breakdown.

When she goes back to the living room, there’s her soup and sandwich waiting for her on the table and a blanket on the couch.

Sitting there on the couch, wrapped in the warm blanket, sipping Earl Grey and eating her supper, Jenny admits that - despite her desperate attempts to deny it - she might actually be a little in love and that thought breaks her even more. Funny thing, she thought that she finally came to terms with the fact that her friendship with Nate was never supposed to become anything more, but in fact, she can’t help feeling the way she feels. It is not for her to choose, and since when does her heart obey reason anyway?

“Better now?” he asks, turning slightly towards her. Jenny smiles a little and nods.

“Yeah. Thanks. And I don’t know if you’re aware of the fact that you’ve just made my day, if not the entire week.”

“Wow”. Nate smiles, still looking at her. “Always glad to help.”

“I know,” she admits. “And it really means a lot to me.”

They watch “Gone with the Wind”, sitting close to each other and making occasional comments. Jenny knows this film by heart, so she doesn’t really pay attention to the plot and barely hears the characters speaking in the background. She looks at Nate covertly, wondering how it would be if the impossible actually happened and if they were something more than just friends. She doesn’t say a word anymore, lost in her train of thought. Finally, the exhaustion returns to attack again, Jenny’s eyelids begin to droop and she dozes off. On the screen, Atlanta is in flames.

She wakes up early, when the light seeping through the windows is still dim and grey, only to find out that she’s lying on the couch, still in the clothes she was wearing last night, cuddled up against a warm male body, an arm on her waist. Jenny is panicked for a second, but then she remembers that she was watching the movie with Nate and they must have fallen asleep. She’s afraid to move - waking Nate up when they are here like this would be the worst thing right now, and she’s sure he would wake up if she shifted just an inch. So she's just lying there, barely breathing, listening to Nate’s steady heartbeat. The air is chilly and Jenny catches a glimpse of this year’s first snow just outside the window, but the blanket and Nate’s body make her warm and almost blissful.

When she hears quiet “hey”, said in a rough, low voice that vibrates in her ears and gives her shivers, she immediately straightens up, scared almost to death.

“Oh my God, Nate, I’m so sorry, I must have dozed off and I totally-” Jenny mumbles incoherently, desperately trying to hide embarrassment.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Seriously. No need to freak out.” Nate laughs, shifting a little, and suddenly they’re just several inches apart. “We’re good?” he asks, looking at her and cupping her cheek. All that Jenny is capable of in this moment is a nod.

“It’s been snowing,” she says after a while in a weak voice, hoping that it will distract Nate and he will pull back. Instead, he just moves a little bit closer and kisses her. The kiss is brief, almost chaste, and so shockingly surprising that Jenny just sits there with her eyes wide open, unable to move or speak. Nate breaks the kiss and drops his gaze to the ground for a moment.

“I wanted to tell you for a while now,” he says and when he sees that there’s no reaction whatsoever, he adds, “It’s just… I’m so sorry, Jenny, it won’t happen again.”

Jenny stands up abruptly and hurries to her room without saying a word, slamming the door behind her. She didn’t realize that one’s dream coming true might be in fact so terrifying. And now she finally cries.

When she hears quiet knocking on the door, only her slightly reddened eyes give away that she’s been crying. Nate comes in without even asking, putting his gentlemanly behaviour aside this one time.

“Jenny, are you okay?” He sounds guilty and Jenny thinks that it’s all her doing. “I’m sorry, you rushed out so quickly and I wanted to make sure that you were fine.”

“I am now”, she answers quietly.

She takes two steps towards Nate and kisses him, laughing and crying again at the same time. The tears are warm and salty on their lips.

The End

fanfiction, !public

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