A new outlook

[natcrazy]

Okay so in general I am a pretty easy going happy person... IN GENERAL! But I am tired of doing the same old thing day after day. I am scared of ending up going to school, getting a job with some company, and doing that for who knows how long. I don't want to live a monotonous life! I see people doing that day in and day out. That's not the life for me. I have different ideas about the kind of life I want. I don't want to work my ass off earning an Engineering Degree just to earn a lot of money. Yea I want to live a comfortable life, who doesn't?. I also want to live a fun life. The thing is how do I tell this to my family? I don't really care how they take it, yet I do. I want them to be supportive and not criticize me, or look down on me for it. If I don't make it in that industry I don't want them to give me crap about it. If I don't make it then maybe I'll got back to school and get that Engineering degree or some other degree that I am interested in. The thing is I want to start MY life now! I want to do something different. I want to set my self apart from what people expect of me but I don't want crap about it.

The other thing is that I hate change. Changing my okay life in San Diego means I have to move to another city, another state, another country, or not move at all. I don't like San Diego it's just some old city in CA.

I seriously wish that I would have known Emily better in high school. The only reason I am truly thinking about this and I am truly okay with the fact that I want change is because of Emily. She's made these thoughts not seem ridiculous or irrational as she puts it. :)

Okay so I have gone a search for a recording school/conservatory... Then next step is to apply.