beautiful, replayed and replayed like a cassette tape
it's less than 24 hours to camp tomorrow and i'm having this wave of..reminiscence, nostalgia, memory.. i can't find a word to describe it. just now during dinner mummy was like, "i can't imagine myself being a housewife now (she's working full time)"
"why not?" I said. "it's so much more relaxing, you can be a taitai and watch serial dramas everyday. and since there's a maid you won't need to fret over cleaning the house, or making our beds."
"my children are growing up. i'm not even a housewife now and my children are all gone by tomorrow. (my bro is in sailing camp right now)"
and then i had this throb in my heart; of how lonely she'll be without the both of us, albeit having her dear loving but quite irritating husband by her side. is that how relationships (all types) are about? unity, but eventual departure. when i was still deciding whether to go for the camp last week, i asked her whether i should go.
she replied, "i don't want you to go. so you got to decide for yourself", which led me to do a series of nonsensical so-called rituals..hahah.
and i was thinking, so is there joy in having children anyway? after all, they are going to leave you soon.. though you might take pride in the fact that they are all grown up and independent, all because of you. my grandma has a worrybug trapped in her 24/7. my uncles and my mum are already in their 40s and she's never stopped worrying. in fact, she's got more people to worry about now since my brother and i are born. up to now, she never fails to call both of us at 530-6pm daily in weekdays, checking to see where we are, and if we're going back to her house for dinner. and it simply amazes me cos she could be doing so many other things which interests her; my mum used to tell me when she ( my grandma) was perhaps 10 years younger, she would roam the streets of chinatown, toa payoh.. with her bestfriend and my grandpa, buying textiles to make new clothes, eating different foods. but, she chose to do this, to care endlessly about her family, her life.
i guess what i'm trying to say is as i leave my parents this time, there is a similar feeling that they are also gonna worry about me and my brother, though seemingly very liberal about how we deal with our lives. and i appreciate and reciprocate their love and concern.
the christmas tree and lighting is up, and the carols fill the would-be-empty home. maybe there is some truth in the saying that children bring joy to the home.
"no matter how old you are, you'll always be my little girl" - daddy.
family and friends, i'll be back on friday, and don't forget i've never stopped loving you.
"why not?" I said. "it's so much more relaxing, you can be a taitai and watch serial dramas everyday. and since there's a maid you won't need to fret over cleaning the house, or making our beds."
"my children are growing up. i'm not even a housewife now and my children are all gone by tomorrow. (my bro is in sailing camp right now)"
and then i had this throb in my heart; of how lonely she'll be without the both of us, albeit having her dear loving but quite irritating husband by her side. is that how relationships (all types) are about? unity, but eventual departure. when i was still deciding whether to go for the camp last week, i asked her whether i should go.
she replied, "i don't want you to go. so you got to decide for yourself", which led me to do a series of nonsensical so-called rituals..hahah.
and i was thinking, so is there joy in having children anyway? after all, they are going to leave you soon.. though you might take pride in the fact that they are all grown up and independent, all because of you. my grandma has a worrybug trapped in her 24/7. my uncles and my mum are already in their 40s and she's never stopped worrying. in fact, she's got more people to worry about now since my brother and i are born. up to now, she never fails to call both of us at 530-6pm daily in weekdays, checking to see where we are, and if we're going back to her house for dinner. and it simply amazes me cos she could be doing so many other things which interests her; my mum used to tell me when she ( my grandma) was perhaps 10 years younger, she would roam the streets of chinatown, toa payoh.. with her bestfriend and my grandpa, buying textiles to make new clothes, eating different foods. but, she chose to do this, to care endlessly about her family, her life.
i guess what i'm trying to say is as i leave my parents this time, there is a similar feeling that they are also gonna worry about me and my brother, though seemingly very liberal about how we deal with our lives. and i appreciate and reciprocate their love and concern.
the christmas tree and lighting is up, and the carols fill the would-be-empty home. maybe there is some truth in the saying that children bring joy to the home.
"no matter how old you are, you'll always be my little girl" - daddy.
family and friends, i'll be back on friday, and don't forget i've never stopped loving you.