(no subject)
I haven't written in a while so here i am. Back to my journal. I think it's time for an update anyway. What have i been up to lately? hmm.. not a whole lot. This is the last week of the semester so finals are everyday now. Tomorrow i have 2. But i'm pretty sure that for the Civics final he is having us watch Black Sheep take notes and have a test on it. Sooo i'm not worried about that. But then i have a math final. Which i'm not worried about either. Because i'm already scheduled to drop that class next semester because i just don't get it. And i don't really NEEED it.. i did if i wanted to go to a 4 year. But since i'm not. Nooope. But i have all the graduation requirements. So that's fine with me.
Right now i want to be free. i want to go and do things and experience things. I feel so cooped up here. I just mentioned that i wanted to go to Seattle to a friend and she pretty much was telling me no i don't. I HATE that. So much. Lately i've been getting a lot of that. People telling me EVERYTHING i think say or do is wrong. I just pretty much feel like a failure at life in general. Thanks guys! Like the other day... i was talking about how i wanted to go to the Empire State Building in NY.. annd she told me that it was in Chicago.. i'm pretty sure that's the Sears Tower.. but whatever. I'm WRONG. I want to go to the city for a day. Nope.. that's wrong and the reasons i want to go are wrong too. According to this friend. Then she went off talking about how i am just cooped up in my room and don't want to be arounda anyone. I was like WTF. I did NOT say anything to you. She's been a real bitch lately though. I think its just the stress of this week. But if she says one more bitch comment to me after monday. She'll hear from me.
I'm trying to be happy. I've given up on all guys. They can come to me now. I think i try waaaay to hard. So... i'll just not try at all.. unless they are making an effort too. Even with friendship. F-that. Soo buh bye, Jerm, Nick, James, Zack, and whoever else comes along. I'm done.
Ramble jamble bamble.....
Ugh, I feel so sick. I'm trying a new diet starting monday. I'm only going to eat chicken, Brocholi, carrots, oranges, and grapes for 2 weeks straight and start walking again. I need to find my cd player. I have no idea where it went. I'm pretty sure i let nikki borrow it once.. but idk. I want an MP3 or ipod player SO bad. This is lame.
I really want to go to Seattle soon. Just to be there. Duuude i'd go alone even. but that's stupid so i wont. But still. I need to go somewhere fun! The city is the only place i don't get sick of. I don't like driving there in a car but i like going there on the ferry or bus. More adventurous. Then taking the bus around place to place... so fun! or even walking. I can't wait until spring. Maaan.. so exciting! No more crap rain and beautiful warm weather. La de dah..........
So there is a lot more i want to say... but its just so dflkjglidlkdfglkjgf in my head that it's hard to write out because it's so random... i'f i wrote everything thought i was thinking at that moment it would make no sense.. hmm that would be intesting.. here is a sample... not that this is an article for the world to read or anything... but here we go.. so my attorny wants me to start seeing a counslor and psychiatrist to put my thougts in boxes or something plus its good for my emotional distress with my life now that we have nothing because of the dog incident... I dont know if i should go.. i went to the counslor every year since 8th grade and it never helps. I just vent.. wait for them to say how sorry they are as if its their fault and then i go on my day satisfied with having someone feeling bad for me. I want mrs. parker to come to my graduation i wonder where se is now. Forrest was supposed to get me a number buuut i havent heard from him. I should send him a myspace message asking again. Hmm.,.. so this week pretty much sucks.. finals people.. life. Yeah.. woo. They are putting a new raceway in bremerton.. well more like gorst but yeah. Same thing. I wish i had money.. i need to get my pictures from AZ off my camera.. god knows how much that will be. I wish zack would email me back.. i emailed him. He probably thinks i'm CRAZY now.. because i told him how i felt about everything... and then i'm like.. hi how are u!? yeeeeaaah i'm nuts. I guess its a good thing people keep their distance from me most of the time. Sooo the house is almost done.. just needs to get on the market. Hmmm.. SOON I HOPE .. RICH PEOPLE COME! Then i dunno... we'll have money.. then i can go to NYC.. god i want to go there so bad. Baaah... not even to see Zack anymore.. jsut to be in the big apple ha.. compare it to seattle.. i love cities.. they're so exciting and full of life. Unlike this lame ass town.. life.. psh.. everyone is depressed all the time... because it's eaither you have money or u dont. WOW! ok so i'm done for now because my head might explode.. either that or my hands fall off because i'm typing like 9085 words per minute. It's crazy. My mom was just walking in and was like standing around me watching me type.. i dont know how she could see because my hands are hidden under the desk on the keyboard table slide thing.. yeeeaaah idk.. she can hear it though.. it is pretty fast.. i might even be impresssed.. I have a feeling i'm going to ahve weird dreams tonight.. i have been lately.. pretty crazy random ones.. but hey i always do.. and i remember them pretty vividly.. i wish i believe they meant something deep.It's fun to think so.. oh well Gnight!
Right now i want to be free. i want to go and do things and experience things. I feel so cooped up here. I just mentioned that i wanted to go to Seattle to a friend and she pretty much was telling me no i don't. I HATE that. So much. Lately i've been getting a lot of that. People telling me EVERYTHING i think say or do is wrong. I just pretty much feel like a failure at life in general. Thanks guys! Like the other day... i was talking about how i wanted to go to the Empire State Building in NY.. annd she told me that it was in Chicago.. i'm pretty sure that's the Sears Tower.. but whatever. I'm WRONG. I want to go to the city for a day. Nope.. that's wrong and the reasons i want to go are wrong too. According to this friend. Then she went off talking about how i am just cooped up in my room and don't want to be arounda anyone. I was like WTF. I did NOT say anything to you. She's been a real bitch lately though. I think its just the stress of this week. But if she says one more bitch comment to me after monday. She'll hear from me.
I'm trying to be happy. I've given up on all guys. They can come to me now. I think i try waaaay to hard. So... i'll just not try at all.. unless they are making an effort too. Even with friendship. F-that. Soo buh bye, Jerm, Nick, James, Zack, and whoever else comes along. I'm done.
Ramble jamble bamble.....
Ugh, I feel so sick. I'm trying a new diet starting monday. I'm only going to eat chicken, Brocholi, carrots, oranges, and grapes for 2 weeks straight and start walking again. I need to find my cd player. I have no idea where it went. I'm pretty sure i let nikki borrow it once.. but idk. I want an MP3 or ipod player SO bad. This is lame.
I really want to go to Seattle soon. Just to be there. Duuude i'd go alone even. but that's stupid so i wont. But still. I need to go somewhere fun! The city is the only place i don't get sick of. I don't like driving there in a car but i like going there on the ferry or bus. More adventurous. Then taking the bus around place to place... so fun! or even walking. I can't wait until spring. Maaan.. so exciting! No more crap rain and beautiful warm weather. La de dah..........
So there is a lot more i want to say... but its just so dflkjglidlkdfglkjgf in my head that it's hard to write out because it's so random... i'f i wrote everything thought i was thinking at that moment it would make no sense.. hmm that would be intesting.. here is a sample... not that this is an article for the world to read or anything... but here we go.. so my attorny wants me to start seeing a counslor and psychiatrist to put my thougts in boxes or something plus its good for my emotional distress with my life now that we have nothing because of the dog incident... I dont know if i should go.. i went to the counslor every year since 8th grade and it never helps. I just vent.. wait for them to say how sorry they are as if its their fault and then i go on my day satisfied with having someone feeling bad for me. I want mrs. parker to come to my graduation i wonder where se is now. Forrest was supposed to get me a number buuut i havent heard from him. I should send him a myspace message asking again. Hmm.,.. so this week pretty much sucks.. finals people.. life. Yeah.. woo. They are putting a new raceway in bremerton.. well more like gorst but yeah. Same thing. I wish i had money.. i need to get my pictures from AZ off my camera.. god knows how much that will be. I wish zack would email me back.. i emailed him. He probably thinks i'm CRAZY now.. because i told him how i felt about everything... and then i'm like.. hi how are u!? yeeeeaaah i'm nuts. I guess its a good thing people keep their distance from me most of the time. Sooo the house is almost done.. just needs to get on the market. Hmmm.. SOON I HOPE .. RICH PEOPLE COME! Then i dunno... we'll have money.. then i can go to NYC.. god i want to go there so bad. Baaah... not even to see Zack anymore.. jsut to be in the big apple ha.. compare it to seattle.. i love cities.. they're so exciting and full of life. Unlike this lame ass town.. life.. psh.. everyone is depressed all the time... because it's eaither you have money or u dont. WOW! ok so i'm done for now because my head might explode.. either that or my hands fall off because i'm typing like 9085 words per minute. It's crazy. My mom was just walking in and was like standing around me watching me type.. i dont know how she could see because my hands are hidden under the desk on the keyboard table slide thing.. yeeeaaah idk.. she can hear it though.. it is pretty fast.. i might even be impresssed.. I have a feeling i'm going to ahve weird dreams tonight.. i have been lately.. pretty crazy random ones.. but hey i always do.. and i remember them pretty vividly.. i wish i believe they meant something deep.It's fun to think so.. oh well Gnight!