(no subject)
what is it about me and high school that it leaves a sour taste in my mouth and a strong desire never to see anyone from it ever again. are the people we thought were super cool in high school really any cooler than we are? or is it just our own insecruities that give them that "power". I just found the "cool" group of kids on myspace, you know the kids i always tried to be friends with but never really felt like i was, honestly, accepted. and i got back all the same old feelings of not being cool enough. i think those feelings are a lot of why i have such poor relationships with women in my adult life. why i'm so hard on them. why i tend to flake out. i think it's because i was too busy worrying and not being myself. i felt like a fake, i felt like it showed. i go back and forth pretty often on whether or not i wnat to try to make contact with them again much like some of my college bridges that have burned. why does it make me feel so bad about myself??? when do people let go of the "oh i knew you in high school" or when do i grow up and realize no one is THAT cool???