(no subject)
cheaaa. haven't seen this page in a while. a decided to take some time out for myself & update.
in the past 3 weeks..i have definately learned that things come & go..so do people. I recently almost died & was hospitalized for 3 weeks. the scariest thing that life has thrown my way thus far. i wont go into details about my illness but im still recovering. some days i feel like im standing at an end & other days i feel like im getting better.
anyways while i was in the hospital ive learned how selfish & self consumed people can be...even when someone they "care" about is on their death bed. no phone call..no txt. but yet they can sure in the hell make it a point that everybody else knows? weird. i also was snooping through my moms txt messages & found a convo between her & one of my best friends. the first couple days/week i hardly had contact with anyone..which upset me. so my mom felt she needed to voice this to my best friend. in turn she replied with something on the lines of " i feel like no one was there for me the past couple weeks"..im sorry? what? i called you almost every day...& oh, im on my death bed. but ok.
on top of that i tried to contact my ex [yes, me & eddie broke up] & i got no reply. that practically was the most gut renching thing ive felt since our break up. after 5 years, nothing. I still try to deal with our break up every day. im still not fully over it & dont think I will be for a while. Yet, I have had to keep all of this in to deal with other things. i love him more than ive ever loved anyone. he will always have my heart which is the hard thing bc how do you give your heart to someone who will not even give a piece of theirs to you? idno.
this post is even wearing me down. today was not a good day.
in the past 3 weeks..i have definately learned that things come & go..so do people. I recently almost died & was hospitalized for 3 weeks. the scariest thing that life has thrown my way thus far. i wont go into details about my illness but im still recovering. some days i feel like im standing at an end & other days i feel like im getting better.
anyways while i was in the hospital ive learned how selfish & self consumed people can be...even when someone they "care" about is on their death bed. no phone call..no txt. but yet they can sure in the hell make it a point that everybody else knows? weird. i also was snooping through my moms txt messages & found a convo between her & one of my best friends. the first couple days/week i hardly had contact with anyone..which upset me. so my mom felt she needed to voice this to my best friend. in turn she replied with something on the lines of " i feel like no one was there for me the past couple weeks"..im sorry? what? i called you almost every day...& oh, im on my death bed. but ok.
on top of that i tried to contact my ex [yes, me & eddie broke up] & i got no reply. that practically was the most gut renching thing ive felt since our break up. after 5 years, nothing. I still try to deal with our break up every day. im still not fully over it & dont think I will be for a while. Yet, I have had to keep all of this in to deal with other things. i love him more than ive ever loved anyone. he will always have my heart which is the hard thing bc how do you give your heart to someone who will not even give a piece of theirs to you? idno.
this post is even wearing me down. today was not a good day.