Alphabet (C, D)
Title: Alphabet (C, D)
Parts: A | B | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z
Pairing: Daniel Agger/Fernando Torres
Rating: R, PG
Disclaimer: It sucks always having to come up with new ways to say how much they don't belong to me.
Summary: Part of the Alphabet Challenge.
A/N: I kind of feel like I should issue another warning for C since it's in no way compatible with what we today consider essential human rights. D is entirely for marie16fh. Thank you, dear. ♥ And, as always, with special thanks to my girl tetila for having waited up for me that night. ;)
Chains
The heat was suffocating, the sun burning mercilessly down onto his bare skin. The simmering air was filled with a multitude of voices, a foreign language, harsh to his ears. He had long stopped looking at his surroundings though, had buried his face in the crook of his arm and behind his sun bleached, brittle hair and had tried to think himself away, far away. Away from the dirt covering his skin and the aching dryness in his throat, away from the shackles around his wrists, holding his arms above his head, away from the soft, distressed sounds coming from the girls and few boys around him, away from the knowledge of why and what for they were being offered up on a platter like cattle.
But most of all away from the men circling him almost constantly. From the gazes that roamed up and down his body, the rough hands feeling him up, probing, prodding, squeezing, the fingers slipping underneath the loincloth and into him, sliding, stabbing, hurting.
He simply detached his mind and floated away to a place where all this didn’t exist, where he was still back home and where the simple wish to die wasn’t his constant companion.
Then he was brought back to reality though, but because this time, the hand touching him wasn’t like all the ones before.
First there was a fleeting touch on his shoulder, and then fingers on his chin, gently drawing his head around, revealing his face from where it had been hiding. And he blinked into the harsh sunlight, his breathing flat and troubled, and then he looked into the face of a young man with short dark hair, an inscrutable expression, but undeniably warm eyes.
It was the first time anyone actually looked at him.
The man held his gaze for a few moments that seemed to stretch and expand, and right then he felt more vulnerable than ever since they had chained him to this spot.
Then the man let go and took a step back, turned and vanished in the masses of people and he closed his eyes and tried to find his rhythm of breathing again.
When the auction came he simply stood where they had dragged him, head lowered, and let it all wash over him, the voices shouting out words or phrases, the slave trader monitoring, the short silence and then another voice throwing in a bid, the soft murmur of the crowd, the trader sealing his fate.
Finally he was dragged to the edge of the platform and pushed down the four steps of wooden stairs that made him stumble and fall to his knees in the dirt, right before a pair of feet that didn’t retreat. But then a thin cloak was laid over his shoulders and made him wince as it touched the sunburnt skin, he was drawn slowly to his feet, and when he glanced up he saw the only face he had really looked at that day.
And something inside of him broke down in relief.
The next thing he became aware of was a flask of water in his hands, and without even thinking about it he raised it, and the water touching his chapped, split lips hurt and soothed at the same time. And when he was done and looked into the young man’s face again where a barely detectable smile had appeared that made his heart flutter for just a moment, he wondered if, against all odds, his constant companion would let go of him that day.
Dance
Fernando was just warming up, stretching his legs, rolling his feet and shoulders, bending his body in half when the door to the training room opened and his dancing partner appeared in the doorway.
His heart fluttered in his chest, and as Daniel smiled at him the purpose of their encounter was momentarily lost somewhere in the space between them. But when Xabi, their choreographer, walked in only two steps behind, he was sucked back into the reality of the mirror-clad room, averted his gaze and rose to his bare feet.
Fernando admitted unashamedly to himself that he was nervous. It was only logical, there was a lot that depended on what was going to happen in the next few minutes. This production was going to tour the whole of UK as a flagship of contemporary dancing, progressive, fresh, unconventional, telling three different love stories in dance and song, and among them one between two men. Practice had been going on for weeks, and everything had been going well - until Fernando’s partner had broken his foot.
Daniel had been one of the newest faces at the academy, and so there was no one, Daniel himself included, that hadn’t been surprised when it had been announced that he was the one that had been chosen to partner Fernando now. But they all trusted Xabi unconditionally when it came to everything involving their dancing, and that was that, really. So if he thought that Daniel could learn the routines quickly enough and, more importantly, they’d be good together, then there was no one who’d protest.
Fernando didn’t know a lot about the tall, dark-haired man with the freckles dotting his face, but for what they did, he didn’t need to. It was enough that there seemed mutual sympathy between them whenever they exchanged a few passing words. What would be most important for their dance and the roles they portrayed though, was, simply put, chemistry. They would absolutely need to feel comfortable in each other’s personal space for this to work, to connect for those short minutes the music and their dance would tell a story. Because without it, their dance would be just movements strung together and their connection off like a hyperbola forever trying to reach its axis.
So yes, Fernando was definitely nervous.
“Alright you two, let’s do this,” Xabi addressed them both when Fernando had reached them and Daniel had deposited his bag, giving the dancers a calm, confident smile. “Fernando, remember to relax your shoulders, Daniel, facial expression. And more important than anything: pour your hearts into this. Now is where it counts.”
They both nodded and Fernando glanced at his partner, his heart fluttering again like a baby bird unsure if in taking that leap, it would fly or fall. But Daniel gave him another smile, soft and just between the two of them, and it reigned in his nerves with a gentle, steady hand.
Xabi turned to get the music while both dancers took their positions, and after the rustling had died down there was a span of a few heartbeats of absolute silence. Fernando breathed deeply, head lowered, eyes closed, and recalled the story, his - their story. That tentative awe of meeting a person that suddenly shifts the axis of every single one of your thoughts, that sweeps aside upbringing and expectations and restrictions with one look, with a single touch. That makes you think you can forget it all and frees you of everything confining - until the bonds take hold and snap back. And this dance they were about to do was the most important for them, and for their characters. The make or break of their relationship - and if they clicked here, they could also do the rest.
The first soft notes filled the room, calm and somewhere between sad and longing, and Fernando let them fill him, spread from his head to his chest, into his arms and legs to the very tips of his fingers and toes, and allowed them to take up their strings and direct him.
While Xabi had practiced with Daniel to help him catch up as quickly as possible, Fernando had worked on perfecting the routine he already knew. So when he danced it now he didn’t have to think about the next move, it came instinctively as breathing, standing up, arm movement, triplet, spin, torso spiral, the motions rippling through his body just like through water. And he was alone, uncertain, torn about what to do and where his choices would take him. Remembering harsh words and rejection, disappointed, angry faces that made him want to slump down and give in. But also remembering soft smiles, gentle touches, warmth and serenity that made him want to throw everything into the wind and take a leap.
Fernando felt the moment he wasn’t alone anymore like a voice whispering in his ear, like warm breath ghosting over the back of his neck, and he didn’t even have to look to know Daniel had entered the radius of his awareness, watching, uncertainty and longing in his every move, like his hand wanting to come up and reach out for him but not quite daring to, or the way he looked away and then back, taking a few steps closer and then stopping again.
But eventually he reached him and Fernando all but melted into him, finding effortless synchrony in their jumps, twists, pirouettes and lifts, warm, strong hands on his sides and back and hips and thighs, soft like caresses. And yet he was pulled back again by invisible strings around the heart, making it waver between closer and stay away, and when Fernando’s hands found Daniel’s chest to push him away he couldn’t even look him in the eyes, pleading quietly for understanding. He couldn’t, couldn’t do this, but when he tried to run he was caught by arms around his waist, tenderly trying to keep him close, and he just wanted to curl up in them and stop. But again he turned his back, chest tight as if lacking air, trying to defy gravity, not understanding why he had to be so insistent when he tried to keep him away, and they framed the space between their hearts with a climaxing whirl of moves and emotions in energetic, nimble, perfect synchrony. And how it hurt to reject the devastated but still hopeful touches, to slide out of those hands, to push away once more, to shove so hard he stumbled to his knees and crumbled to the ground, shoulders quivering, forehead touching the floor.
There they were, one fallen and broken, one standing where he had been pushed away to, as if an invisible barrier had been thrown up between them and he didn’t know if he could overcome it anymore.
The knowledge that it was all his own doing kept Fernando weighed down where he was curled up, and before his inner eye he saw Daniel turn, heart-broken and hesitant, but leaving nevertheless, because what other choice did he have?
It was a touch on his shoulder that made him lift his head, confusion, wonder, that tiny spark of hope as he looked up into Daniel’s face because still, after everything, he hadn’t given up on him. And only when a hand came up to touch his cheek, trembling thumb brushing over his cheekbone, Fernando realised that there were tears wetting his face.
They remained like this for a timeless moment, a look in Daniel’s eyes that was so tender it almost broke Fernando’s heart and left him with no strength to fight any more. So he stayed on his knees before the other man in silent, unconditional surrender, ready to offer everything he would be willing to take. But with the unwavering affection all his previous touches had held Daniel raised him to his feet, always right there behind him, arm around his waist, folding him into an embrace of strength and support, and helped his weak, quivering legs to walk again as the last soft notes of the music faded.
For a moment everything returned to silence and stillness and Fernando blinked as if waking after a long dream, chest heaving air into his lungs, limbs trembling. But then the arm around him squeezed gently and he was turned around, and Fernando, head reeling, looked up at Daniel who was breathing just as deeply, lips parted, gaze searching his. His hand came up again to cup Fernando’s face, quickly brushing away the tears, and he asked, “Are you okay?” And Fernando nodded and reached out with shaking fingers to adjust the collar of Daniel’s shirt, and then they both looked over at their choreographer, unable yet to let go while they were still catching their breath and letting the adrenaline die away.
When Xabi just looked at them with a smile, and then gave them one single, gentle nod, a wordless, happy sound spilled from Fernando’s lips, Daniel laughed, and in a simultaneous motion neither of them even thought about their arms were around each other. And in this light-headed, dazed state of exertion, the air still charged with emotion, Fernando simply held on to Daniel and smiled.
Because they were going to be everything he had ever hoped for.