I need new friends.
I think I'm gonna stop hanging out with Chris and Kevin less. Maybe for awhile or for a long time I don't know. I'm just not gonna be around for this whole cycle bullshit over again. I just need to find some new people who will actually appreciate me and not remind me of all the things I used to do because that makes it hard to move on. Sometimes I wonder if were even really friends or if we just hang out because all our lives are so empty. I mean if I was in a fight would they back me up? If I was really down and I needed someone to talk to would they care? I'm pretty sure they wouldn't. I just feel like I have split personality because whenever I'm at home I'm depressed. Whenever I'm out doing something I feel okay but than when I get home and think about it I get depressed. I hate being depressed. I never have anyone to talk to just this dumbass journal. People are always like "Oh yeah, you can talk to me!" Than when I do they don't have time or I'm making a big deal out of it or something. Most of the time when people ask what's wrong I jsut try to change the subject because I don't wanna deal with them being jerks. Pretty much my whole existence right now is getting through school. I just want a friend and I don't think I'll ever have one. That's pretty unfortunate for me.