So Many Fragile Broken Pieces... [Asuka, Kureno]
[[Backdated: set roughly 3-4 days after this thread; still previous to Tsurude's announcement.]]Three days was a lot of time to think, especially if you didn't do anything else. Kureno was rather talented at thinking, being the rational person he was and meditating regularly. Only two or three things in his life had ever taken him more than a day
( Read more... )
"I know."
If she had something to respond with, she didn't. Or maybe she was just as unaware she had something to say as he'd been. He waited another minute before giving up on listening for it.
Despite how wronged this new situation was making him, Kureno still didn't want for things to be ending like this; he didn't want them to be ending at all! He meant it when he said he wanted things to be better again. He was already dedicated to letting this emotion-grating depression of his slip into the past.
Unless it found something new to live off of, digging itself right back into the wound in his heart and pride that hadn't even properly scabbed over yet, getting settled in for another round of festering...
No. No, he wouldn't let it. She didn't do this on purpose, she wasn't trying to hurt him! ...She just had a natural talent for it.
There had to be something good to say about all of this, something positive. He had to find something positive. He needed to.
"........."
He couldn't. There were plenty of lies but no truths and he needed a truth right now, maybe even more than she did. But he couldn't find one; not now, not here with her sitting there, unmoving and guilty and good, she should feel guilty even if he knows how much it's killing her too...
He needed to get out of there.
The coffee was set down on the table, too cold to be enjoyed now anyway, and stood without looking back at her. "Asuka, I need to...take a rain check on that walk. I--" He almost grimace in the face of such an obvious lie. "I forgot I had something to do this afternoon."
And he knew she knew he was lying. He also knew she'd let him get away with it. But that didn't make him feel any less the low, hypocrite for using it.
Reply
"It's okay." Because it was okay - he didn't need to lie to her to leave if that was what he wanted, but she wasn't going to call him on it. If he wanted to go, she didn't begrudge him that. She expected it. After all, if she was in his shoes, she'd want to get as much distance between herself and him before she couldn't hold back the urge to stab things anymore.
That didn't make it hurt any less, though. She didn't want to hurt him, not anymore; she'd done enough of that already. But this was going to hurt no matter what she did, and this was the only way she could think to make the hurting less. Less than hearing it from Tsurude directly. Less than hearing it from some general announcement. Less than hearing it from someone else. It was the only thing she could do, but that didn't make it any better.
Asuka didn't look up when he stood, didn't uncover her face, just breathed through the gap between her hands and dug her fingers into her eyes until spot danced across the backs of her eyelids. This was no good, but there was nothing she could do. And she hated it.
"Whenever you want to see me."
Which was probably going to be 'never.'
Reply
A lot later.
"......Thank you for the coffee." It was the only thing he could think to say that wasn't withering or insincere, though it felt awful to be that way right now. After all, he came here so he wouldn't leave her with a bad note between them.
Kureno stopped once at the door, turning back halfway, wanting to actually apologize for something but...he couldn't. It wasn't in him. So he left. Again. Without a word.
...again.
Reply
Leave a comment