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[nartthefart]

They finally got back to me and I got the job I interviewed for before Christmas, so as of the 26th I will be a band 3 secretary at the Breast Clinic, Surgery & Oncology Dept. Lol boobsec! The starting rate is a grand more pa than I thought it was, which means it IS an actual pay rise from where I'm at now, so that is good news also. 8:30 starts

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[nartthefart]

the days when i can't get to sleep are days when i know i'll have to get up early or days that i'm worried i won't get enough sleep overnight. it's a self-fulfilling prophecy really, i worry i won't be able to get enough sleep and then that makes me panic, and then i can't sleep. even if i'm monstrously tired.
whereas if i'm just feeling sleepy in the middle of the day or at the weekend and i lie down for a nap, i don't have any problems.
obviously the later on it gets, the fewer possible hours there are for me to sleep, and the more anxious i get that i won't be able to get enough.
this is also the reason i rarely share a bed overnight with graham, i worry that i won't be able to sleep and then i can't sleep, and then i am all restless and dreadful and then HE can't sleep -_-

lately i've been finding that on the days that i do manage to get to sleep alright initially, i get early-morning wakening insomnia instead >:( which is a new development.

and now i'm cultivating alcohol-dependence because the one thing i know does get me to sleep easily is a couple of pints or a nice glass of wine. but self-medication is never the answer. on the other hand neither apparently is prescribed-medication as it is SHIT.

i am just hoping to grow out of it at some point maybs..