(no subject)

[narrow_streets]

Oh my LORD, you made me see,
that I am evil, like anyone else,
you made me understand,
that me too, would have worshipped a calf,
instead of you,
did I not listen to spirits also?,
do I not usually listen to madness and evil?,
my LORD, you told me,
that you are faithful when I am evil,
and I am surprised that you sent your Holy Son,
while I should be sad that you had to give Him to the cross,
I was sad that He did walk there,
why am I so crooked? why do I not do what you say I shall do?
why are you so faithful anyway?
my sin too nailed Jesus to the cross,
my sin too made His sacrifice necessary,
I am no exception, I am not better than anyone else,
if only I could know this in deep regret and earnesty,
if only I could cry always about this,
but your Son Jesus loves me regardless,
He is our saviour, indeed He is, God bless Him,
when can I allow myself to feel joy?,
why does it not spring forth like a clear mountain brook?
I am asking myself, can I make Jesus happy?
can I give Him relief?
I pray to you, oh LORD, that Jesus' griefs may be lessened,
that whoever can, repents and helps for Jesus' cause,
that we love Him and each other, like He loved us,
like He loves us still,
I want to feel love for Him, in spirit and truth,
my LORD, I want to love my LORD,
my LORD, don't let this be zealotry that helps the evil one,
my LORD, don't let this be misguided faith,
my LORD, take me into your mighty hand,
that I may know how Jesus trusted you,
that I may trust in Him and You.